Chapter 2: Some Things Change In Life
"Alright everyone, we'll stop class here for today. For those of you who haven't handed in your future career forms, make sure you stop by the staff room." Yuri-sensei's words were music to my ears. School had finally ended and I began to look forward to having a nice, normal time at work. I never imagined today could be as hectic as it was, but I somehow managed to make it through.
The whole school day was nothing but nonstop gossip about the fight with Taiga and Ryuuji. My nerves were shot and I ended up talking with Taiga the entire time. Any plans I had on making new friends were gone, and replaced with the one goal of not being a dunce in front of everyone. It was impossible to start a conversation without messing up, and the only thing that anyone would want to talk about anyway was "how the palmtop tiger put down the delinquent". If Taiga wasn't there for me to rely on I would've just broke down. Thankfully luck made it out so we ended up in the same class, and I got the chance to talk to her like normal after such a long break. The day wasn't what I had in mind, but I wound up with a smile at the very end. After all, my best friend was just a few meters away from me.
There was a light atmosphere as my classmates started to get up to talk with their friends; I followed suit and went by Taiga's side. She was slumped over her desk, blowing her nose into some cheap tissues we got at the nurse's office. She was probably looking forward to going home and watching TV or something. She never really liked to talk to other people and I doubt she wanted to stay here much longer.
"Are you alright Taiga? You look a lot more pale than you did when class started." I ask her as I knelt down so that we met eye level on her desk. I bring my hand to her forehead to check if she had gotten worse and came down with a fever. It didn't seem like it; she was mildly warm despite her bleak expression.
"I'm ok... it's just that my nose keeps running and I keep sneezing a lot." Taiga answered me back in a tired tone. She definitely looked awful with her droopy eyes and low hanging face.
"Oh, that's terrible. You didn't look this bad at all before. It must have gotten worse over time." I pass her a tissue as she tossed her used one behind her.
"Yeah, I guess so." Her sulking voice was enough to put a smile on anyone.
"Hmmmmm, I wonder who it was that told you not to get into a fight before. Maybe if we'd listen to her you wouldn't have gotten this sick. Yeah, she must have been someone really smart."
"Minorin you idiot." She took a friendly jab at me as she brought her tissue up to her nose. I smiled.
"Ehehehe. I told you so! You know these things always happen when you start something! Hey now, how many times did I tell you last year to not do this sort of thing?" I did my best to sound like a nagging big sister. I pout my lips and turn my head to the side to make the joke more obvious.
"But I couldn't help it *AH CHOO* that moron got me too angry that I just had to. Everyone lets me go by but that guy was rude and didn't get out of the way."
"Eh, but didn't Takasu-kun already say that he wasn't watching where he was going? I mean, he couldn't have been rude if he didn't see you." I tried to convince her a little that Takasu wasn't all bad. He seemed nice enough.
"Minorin, everyone sees me. There are people who notice me when they're busy talking with their friends and they always get out of the way. There are even people that just look at me with one of their dumb faces and go back to doing whatever. There was no way that guy didn't know I was there. No, he must have done it on purpose." She said her words in a hostile manner. Dang it, she was starting to get angry again. I could tell even if there was a tissue covering half of her face. You're so stupid Minori, you should have never brought up Takasu. Why did you even think that was a good idea?
Taiga took a glance to her left and was almost trance like for a few moments. She's been doing that a lot lately; first spacing out after the fight and now this. Wanting to see what she was so mesmerized about I took the moment to question her.
"You okay Taiga?" I asked her earnestly. She was startled a bit coming out of her blank stare.
"Yeah yeah, I'm fine." She replied softly. She began to look down at her desk while twiddling her fingers around, like she was anxious for something. What did she look at? I take a quick peek to where Taiga was glancing at moments before. Strange, no ones there except Takasu sitting in his desk. He's just talking with Kitamura. Why was Taiga spacing out over Takasu? Oh no. Did she want to get revenge or something!? I had to get her mind off of him as soon as possible.
"Hey Taiga, there's still some time before I have to go to work. Can we hang out at your place? We can grab some sweets from the store next to your house and make up for lost time! I'll get you some orange juice, on me!" Even if it was an excuse I meant what I said to her. It was way too long since we did anything together like before.
I saw Taiga tense up and jerk a bit after I asked her. "No, I don't think it's a good idea if we went to my house. I haven't cleaned it in a long time and it's a lot worse than usual. I don't want you visiting it like that." Strange. Taiga never cared about the way her place was. There were sometimes when me and her would spend the day cleaning up the place while the radio was on. Why did she start caring all of a sudden?
"Really? In that case we can just go to my place and do something there. I don't have anything fancy like video games or anything, but we can still have a fun time." Taiga and I always went to her place because there just wasn't much to do at mine. I remembered the long nights we spent talking to each other about whatever came to mind, and I was sure she wanted to talk and catch up as well.
I'm sorry Minorin, I really can't. I promised the nurse I would check up with her after school to see if I was getting better or not." She replied back to me with in a muffled and low voice.
"What? But didn't we already go to the nurse's office at lunch? She said it wasn't that serious and all that you needed was to get some rest. I don't remember you guys talking about anything like that."
"I met the nurse before school in the morning. I went to her office right after the ceremony, it was why I showed up so late to class." Taiga spoke back calmly. Her story did make sense. The only reason we went to the nurse's office at lunch was because I was worried about her and forced her to. Still, she hated school. Something was off.
"Well, alright. But are you sure though? I mean, I won't have anymore free time this week with softball practice and work. I wanted to spend some time together since today's the only real day I have the chance to. Is the nurse's office really that important?" I was selfish, but to be honest the appointment wasn't as important as bonding with her. We were disconnected. Month's have passed and I could feel a space between us. I wanted that space to shrink, to go away, so that we could be close again. There was no way that she could have felt differently.
There was a pause before she ended up responding back to me. "... I'm sorry Minorin, I really am. But I have to go do this. I want to make a good impression this year instead of how last year turned out. It wouldn't be a good thing to just ditch the nurse when I agreed to go." Her words were soft-spoken, but painful. She would have never said what she just said and gone with me in a heartbeat. To think that she would care more about some dumb appointment than me... no, it didn't matter how jealous I felt about this. I would always support her in whatever choices she made. It's what a best friend would do.
"Okay. Well then lets go there together! It'll be the sendoff I need to prepare for the battle of the working world!" I was nervous that my feelings were getting through, so I made the sentence as goofy as I could possibly make it.
Taiga jumped a little bit in her seat. She lifted up her head in shock, which exposed a face with the weight of the world on its shoulders. "N-no, it's ok. The whole thing will take a while and I don't want to get you late for work." She replied back in a shaky voice.
"Don't worry Taiga it's ok! You know Jonny's isn't that far away from my place. I'll have plenty of time to grab my uniform and make it on time! Cmon, lets go!" I grabbed her hand to coax her into coming. She was stiff and didn't respond.
"No no don't. Minori I don't want to bother you this is something that I have to-"
"Oh don't be like that! How could this sort of thing bother me? Hurry, grab your stuff and lets start walk-"
"Minori! No! *gasp!*" Taiga snatched her hand back and yelled at me. My eyes barrel wide open as my mouth hangs ajar mid sentence. She... she yelled at me.
"...Taiga..."
"...I'm sorry. It's just that I want to do this myself. You have more important things to do than to go with me and I don't want you involved in something this small. Please understand, Minorin." Her words were gunshots piercing right through me. Everything I knew about Taiga was gone. From how clingy she was to me to how she was always so scared of being alone. All of it vanished with what she said to me. She... she didn't need me. She didn't want to be around me... No! No! Stop thinking Minori! Don't you dare let your best friend see you like this! Say something positive to her!
"No no no, it's perfectly fine! It was my fault for not understanding you before! I mean, just the idea of you becoming independent and getting things done like a pro makes me happy! Go for it Taiga!" I had to close my eyes and give my best smile while I talked to her. I couldn't have possibly looked at her straight in the face while telling a lie like that.
"... you're not mad at me or anything are you?"
"What? Don't be ridiculous, I would never get mad over something like this! It's not like we're never going to see each other again! We can just talk with each other during lunch tomorrow. And besides, there's always next week. We can still hang out next Monday! It'll be great!". What I said was aimed at me as well as Taiga, as a way to convince myself that everything would be ok.
" *sigh* What a relief. Thank you Minorin. I'm happy you're not upset." She gave me a smile at the end of her kind toned reply. I didn't need to be self-centered and drag my best friend from something important to her. I wasn't emotional. No, no I wasn't sad about this at all. I'm happy because Taiga's happy.
"No problem Taiga! Be a doer and go get stuff done! I'll leave you to your professionalism and follow your example at work! Let's give it our all!" Stay happy Minori. Stay. Happy.
" *chuckle* alright. I'll see you tommorow."
"You got it! Cya!" I managed to get to the door and wave a goodbye to Taiga. I searched for the plug to stop my disturbed heart from rupturing and shoved it as far as I could straight down. I just had to keep it in until I managed to get home and blow off a little steam somehow. I had done it before, and I knew I could do it now. I just had to keep in mind that everything was okay. I just had to keep walking, keep smiling, keep being me.
Step after step was just thought, after thought, after thought. "Why did Taiga not want to be around me? Did she hate me? Did she not want to be friends anymore?" The questions were never-ending. "Was it something I did? Did I annoy her? Why didn't you say you were sorry!? Of course she wouldn't want to be around you if you were like that!" My brain rewound the same kind of questions over and over again. All I was thinking about was her, and and every thing I thought about was painful.
"How could you make your best friend upset!? What kind of friend are you!? Why didn't you try and understand how she felt!? I gotta apologize to her. I'm gonna go apologize to her first thi-" I snapped back into reality in a second, as if on instinct. I took a moment to regain to my senses and see where I was. I caught myself looking at a door labeled 2E. My condominium room door. I chuckle softly for a moment. I lost track of time. I didn't even have to pay attention to where I was going. Walking home was that much of a routine to me.
I go inside and rush to the bathroom, dumping my belongings by my bed along the way. I turn the sink faucet on and splash the frigid, rushing water on my face. The freezing sensation was great; I felt the heat of my skin numb cold with each pass of my hands. Everything slowed down a bit from my temperature to my brain. I grip the sides of the sink and lean over it, with my head a few centimeters away from the crashing of liquid on porcelain. The sounds of the gushing current slowed my breathing to a deep heavy panting. I was calming down.
My eyes met the mirror as I lifted my head. The girl in the reflection looked miserable. She had such a depressed frown that would make anyone uncomfortable. She had lost eyes that had no glimpse of joy in them at all. She looked so tired. She looked so sad. … I was sad.
"...Why are you sad!? What are you a weakling!? Stop being so pathetic! Stop feeling so sorry for yourself!" I yelled straight into the sinkhole, squeezing my eyelids shut tight. I started to hectically splash my face using every ounce of energy I had. I don't know long I kept at it. By the time I wore myself out my hair was soaked, my shirt was drenched, and the bathroom was filled top to bottom with patches of water. I stood in place a bit, with the sound of the faucet being my companion for the time. … I had to clean this up. Minori you're an idiot. You cause more harm than good.
Time passed in my trance like state as I fixed the mess I made and got ready for work. All of the down time I had was spent up, and before I knew it I was at the foot of my door, wearing my thin blue jacket and jeans and carrying my bag with my work clothes in it. The usual. I checked my cellphone. It read 4:58. Out the door by 5, get there by 5:30, and go from there. Like every other Monday. Right, today was just Monday. Just a regular, normal Monday.
I put my hand on the doorknob but stop before I turn the door open. I couldn't believe I was still doubting whether my feelings would get the best of me. I worked my muscles as hard as I could cleaning the bathroom to make sure my stupidity was buried. I even practiced in front of the mirror for a bit to make sure I could still be me. And still here I was, hand shaking and uncertain whether I could be normal at work tonight.
… *THUUUD* I punched the front door out of sheer anger and defiance. the pain of the shock ringing down my wrist was somehow satisfying.
"Taiga is happy. Taiga is making decisions for herself. You have no right to be emotional. You have no right to feel this way." I make sure to say the words as clear and slow as possible. I wanted them to be cemented in my head. "You're not going to screw up. You're going to be yourself like you always are. You're not going to be emotional. You're going to be you." I took a few deep breaths in and out, feeling the beating of my pacing heart. I walk out the door shunning my thoughts; I had to get things done tonight. I hated how selfish I was.
"Excuse me miss, can I have another order of beer for the four of us?"
"Of course! 4 more rounds of beer for table 3, coming right up!" I addressed the group of customers quickly, with the usual smile and perkiness. I walked up to the table I was serving, tray of food in hand.
"And here you two are, the pork cutlet for the gentleman and the tossed salad for the young lady. Is there anything else I can get for the both of you tonight?"
"we're okay, thank you very much." The woman answered back kindly.
"Alright then. If you need anything call for me and I'll be on my way." I don't remember how many times I've said that exact phrase over the past year. It was far too many to recall.
"Sure. thank you Kushieda-san." The man spoke back sincerely.
"No problem. Enjoy your stay you two!" I wave farewell to the both of them and proceed back into the kitchen.
I had waited tables for a few hours now, in the same way I've done it for what seems like forever. I told myself in the beginning to focus on what I was doing instead of on school. But I wasn't paying attention at all to work, I couldn't. I didn't need to. Everything was off of memory. My mind would scramble in between when I would talk to a customer, making sure that I was still okay. I hated how I still had to deal with myself at my job, and I couldn't exactly punch a wall at Jonny's to get my mind off of it. It was excruciating. I headed back to table 3, carrying 4 mugs of beers in hand.
"And here we go, 4 tall mugs of beer! Enjoy!" I cheerfully said my sentence to the young middle aged group; 3 men and 1 woman all in business attire. Must have been a meeting, or maybe a get together after work.
"Thank you miss. I don't think I've ever quite met someone as energetic as you. It's a nice change from the more relaxed servers we usually get at other restaurants." The man said his words in a kind and respectful voice. That matched with his luxurious suit made me feel rather out of place in my dainty maid outfit.
"Oh geez, thank you. But it's not that big of a deal. I'm just trying to make sure everyone is having a good time here, that's all."
The businesswoman leaned forward, elbows on the table while resting her chin on her hands."Well it seems like that's just whats been happening lately. You know, me and my colleagues came here because we heard this place had outstanding customer satisfaction. I can see why, all of these waitresses are just bustling with energy. I don't think anyone could not be happy in a place like this. And frankly, you're the brightest person that works here. How on Earth do you manage to be so bubbly?" She spoke to me in a soft yet authoritative voice, the kind of voice that you can tell has some serious presence behind it. No one around her even made a sound. She must have been in charge. And wherever they were working at it was someplace big.
"Oh no no, believe me I'm not anything that special. To be honest, I'm this way with just about everybody I meet. I'm probably a little strange I guess." I look away flustered, rubbing the back of my head. It was always embarrassing to hear something like that.
"My, you're even modest to boot. You must be pretty popular popular with the boys at your school. Tell me, do you get confessed to a lot?" I felt my face turn red in an instant. Who has the nerve to ask that to someone!? This lady is weird!
"W-What!? N-no I don't have the time for anything like that-I work at a lot of different places and softball practice takes up most of my free time-and no I just don't have that much experience with that! Ehehehe." I couldn't have been prepared for a reply if I tried. I goofed throughout the entire thing.
"Really now? Hmmm. At the very least you must have a secret admirer who's just head over heels for you. Hey, what if he's really cute?" Why did she sound so provocative when she said that!? J-just how am I supposed to respond to her!? "*Giggle* I'm joking, I'm just joking! My my my, you really are a good girl, getting all cute and flustered! Aren't you just adorable!" W-w-what!?
"E-erm, u-uum, uuh hey-"
"Oh my goodness, she's great! Hey men, I think we've found the restaurant we'll be coming to in this city! We don't even have to check out the other ones! What do you all think?"
"Yes ma'am."... All 3 of the men just responded in unison. Who were these people!?
"Alright then it's settled. I can't believe we found a place this perfect. I'm sorry we took time away from your work miss... Kushieda-san, was it not?" I couldn't believe how fast she went from a casual to a professional tone of voice.
"...! R-right! Kushieda. Kushieda Minori."
"So... Kushieda Minori. I get the feeling we'll be seeing each other again sometime. *chuckle*. Thank you for your time. You can go ahead and continue to work now." … sure, okay then... snap out of it! Back to being you!
"Okay then! Enjoy your stay at Jonny's!"
"Keep spreading that good cheer Kushieda!" She gave me a great big grin as I walked away from the table. Wow, what a sincere smile. Almost makes me a little happy inside.
I was dumfounded by what just happened. Something like that had never happened with all the time I had worked here. I had gotten into a better mood; the only thing I had in my head at the moment was that lady and her bright smile. It was just something about seeing that made me feel really good... Oh my gosh. I made her happy. Minori you're an idiot. How could you forget something so important?
It was a crashing revelation. I spent so much time obsessing over my own sentiments that I forgot what always made me happy in the first place. Everyone was cheerful but I was too selfish to see that. I was insensitive and thought of myself first instead of others. I wanted to punch myself straight in the jaw. I payed all of my attention to my tables from then on, making sure that they had the best time they could have possibly had at dinner. It didn't matter if everything was a routine. What mattered was that that routine did something important.
It was later on in the night. I had dealt with work and I was a few feet away from the entrance to my condo building. I was exhausted. All of the drama I had put myself through took its toll on every inch of my body. I knew I just had to take care of a few more things and I could rest a bit. I walked up to the building mail box and opened my slot. Today was a Monday night, I had to do this.
I grabbed the mess of paper and attempt to sort it out. "Let's see... ads, ads, chainletter, ads, …. the bills. It's the beginning of April. Dang it." It didn't matter if I had enough money to pay for it, just the idea that hard earned money went towards a piece of paper in an envelope was infuriating. I guess that's what it meant to be an adult. I began thinking of all the jobs I took over the break and how long I had done this.
"... I'll give Haru and everyone a call soon. It's been a while since I've checked up on them." I couldn't think of money without thinking about them. I owed them after all. Shrugging that thought aside to when I had to get to it, I walk up the stairs and go through my condo door. I let out a bodily sigh and drop everything at my feet. The day had finally ended.
I spent the rest of the night doing the chores, cleaning up the place, and making dinner. The curry was done and the rice had some time before it had finished, so I went to go take a much needed shower. I stood underneath the showerhead for a while motionless, taking in what happened today. I was still thinking about Taiga. I didn't think I was emotional anymore, I was just thinking about how different she was. For her to not always want to spend time with me wasn't something I could get used to that quick. But I knew that I had to, for her sake. She was happy after all. I smiled faintly, letting the falling water wash me away.
I sat on my bed and took a look at my alarm clock. 11:47. "Taiga's probably asleep by now, no use trying to call her. I'll apologize to her at school tomorrow." In all honesty I didn't want to call her. It was pathetic, but I was still thinking back to when she yelled at me. I didn't even know how I could start talking to her tomorrow. How do I bring it up? I already told her I didn't care about it didn't I? If I bring it up she'll think I'm a liar and she might end up hating me more. And then we'll get even more separated and we won't be friends anymo-
*SMAAAACK* *CRASH* I grit my teeth and swung my arms at the closest thing I could hit. The next thing I realized was that my alarm was on the opposite wall of my bedroom. I saw some plastic bits next to it.
"Crud! I need that!" I rushed over to the little box, praying that the thing still worked. I desperately plug the cord in the socket. What a relief, it turned on. I breath a sigh of satisfaction. …. I was happy that I didn't ruin something really important. You shouldn't have done it in the first place! Why are you so stupid!? What is wrong with me!? I grip the sides of my head in frustration. I sat in that corner for a little while, not knowing what to do. I rose up and went to the kitchen, grabbed a bag of pudding I had been saving up from working at the supermarket, and went to go eat curled up in my bed. It was the best moment for junk food if I could ever think of one.
Each spoonful of caramel froze my brain with it's sweet flavor, at least for a brief moment. I indulged in it, letting the sugar do its wonder to numb my thinking. I began to say a phrase for each glob of pudding I ate. It started off simple. "Taiga is happy." *gulp*. Then I began to say things that were more hard to swallow. "Taiga is happy, happy doing things by herself." *gulp*. "Taiga is happy without you." *gulp* *gulp* *gulp*. Taiga can be happy without you." *gulp* *gulp*. I was drowning out the pain, one mouthful at a time.
"Taiga is getting things done by herself, without you." *gulp*. "Taiga is happy getting things done by herself, without you." *gulp*. "Taiga is happy without you." *gulp* *gulp*. Gotta think of something else. "Taiga is getting things done by herself." *gulp*. "Taiga is independent." *gulp*. "Taiga is happy being independent." *gulp*. "Taiga is independent, without you." *gulp* …. *gulp*. "Taiga is independent." *gulp*. "Taiga is independent." *gulp*. I began to repeat that over and over again.
"Taiga is independent." *gulp*. "Taiga is independent from you." *gulp*. "Taiga can be happy without you." *gulp* …. "Taiga is happy, independent." *gulp*. "Taiga is happy without you, she's independent." …. *gulp*. *breathe*. "Taiga is happy without you, she's independent." *breathe*. I did it. I accepted it. *sigh*, what a relief. I phase back into reality. It was 12:30. There were 6 empty pudding cups all around me… just another thing I had to get done.
With everything taken care of and with an empty conscious, I go use the bathroom before I head off to bed. I looked up at the mirror while washing my hands. I looked so serious. So gloomy. Not a single thing about me was fun. I smile faintly. At least it was better than being sad and helpless. I could control myself at least. And it wasn't like I would bring anyone down like this; no one would see this side of me anyway. I walk back to my room and snuggle up in my bed, mentally preparing for thing's I had to do the next day. There was one thing I kept repeating myself over and over in my head. Taiga was independent.
The next morning went by with the normal routine and softball practice. The only time Taiga and I would walk to school together was during Monday mornings when I was free. I wouldn't be able to apologize to her until class started, but before that I had to make sure I did my best during softball practice to make my team proud. I was feeling awful with all the pudding I ate last night, but thankfully we did laps and I managed to keep up with everyone somehow. Refreshed from the post-softball shower I leave the locker room and head towards homeroom. In the meantime I braced myself for the most important task I had to do today. "Just gotta say hi to her like normal, then bring it up smoothly." I think to myself and plan what I was going to say to her. I couldn't screw this up. "Just be natural Minori. Just be you." I walk up to the 2-C door.
I went inside to see Taiga once again resting using her arms as a pillow, her head face down motionless.
I walked up to her to greet her like always. "Good morning Taiga! Feeling better today?" She didn't respond back. I could hear the sound of heavy breathing through her arms. I try again, speaking a few inches away from her. "Hey Taiga? You there?" She slowly cranked her head towards my direction, unwilling to lift her head. It was the first time I'd ever seen Taiga with bags under her eyes; she loved to sleep. She looked dreadful.
"Good morning Minorin... …." She dazedly replied back, with her eyes slowly shutting back closed.
"Taiga what happened? Why are you so tired?"
"... nothing really. I just couldn't sleep last night for some reason." Her words were slow, and she paused before saying anything to me. As if she was too tired to say anything at all.
"So insomnia huh? That's weird. It's gotta have something to do with you being sick, right?" I speak back to her, concerned.
"Probably..." Now. Now was the moment I had to bring it up. Don't mess up.
"Hey Taiga about what happened yesterday."
"...?" She forced her eyes halfway open to look at me.
"... *breathe in* I'm Sorry! I'm sorry for getting you mad yesterday! I didn't apologize before like I should have and I'm sorry! Forgive me!" I bow over her desk with gritted teeth and shut eyes, like a child waiting to be punished. I didn't know how she was going to respond. I was nervous. I stayed bowed for a while, prepared for the worst from her.
"I forgive you." ….? I opened my eyes to see her going back to sleep. That was it?
"... You're not mad at me? I mean, I did something really stupid, and I was inconsiderate and-" She turned her head to the side, away from me.
"I'm not mad at you. I thought you were mad at me. I was the one who yelled at you." She said her words calmly.
"But no, it was my fault! I didn't see that I was getting you upset and I kept on doing it anyway and that was what got you mad so it's my fault!"
"Minorin really, it's ok. You were just being you. I wasn't mad at you at all. I would never be. Honest." Her voice changed tone; it sounded so kind, so considerate. I felt a massive presence lift itself off of me. I paused, taking in what she said to me.
"Thanks Taiga." I said it to her with a great big smile on my face. I was really happy. What a relief. Realizing that I wasn't myself at all, I rush to change the atmosphere. "Well, that's all done with! You know, those old sayings we hear from our elders are always true! The past isn't important, what matters is right now!" I raise my fist into the air. "The joy of our young lives!"
I heard Taiga give a faint, quiet laugh to herself. She was still looking away off to the side. "Hmm? Whats the matter?" I asked her curiously.
"No it's nothing, it's nothing. It's just that you still act the same way you did last year. Whenever you would get serious about something you would go back to being you really fast, like it'd never happen. I guess since it's been so long I kind of missed it."
"Oh." Taiga was the only friend that'd ever seen me that way. She was the one friend that I cared about enough to where I had to be real with her sometimes. The last thing that we seriously talked about was her da-, don't bring that up. Ever. "Hey, its no good thinking about old times! We got to look towards the future! Weren't you paying attention to what I just said?"
"*giggle* I'm glad you're still the same."
"Of course! I wouldn't change that much over a few months, I'll always have my fighting spirit! Yeah!" I proudly place my hands on my hips, boasting to the world my energy and enthusiasm.
"...eve- .. y.. ... .. ..sy …. … ..n't …. ….. me..." Taiga mumbled something underneath her breath. It was whisper like, I could barely hear a thing.
"? Tai-"
"Hey Minorin. I think I'm going to go the nurse's office during lunch today again. I'm not sick or anything, I'm just really tired. I don't think Yuri-sensei's gonna let me sleep in class either." She moved a bit in her seat, like she was trying to get comfortable and take a nap.
"Eh? bu-" I stop myself before I finish my sentence. "I see. Alright, make sure you get some good rest then! You know what they say about bad sleep and growth, right?" I teased my words to her. She moved her head swiftly to look at me with menacing eyes. It was great. "It's a joke, it's a joke! Don't look so mad, oh ferocious palmtop tiger~! hehe!"
"... You should get to your desk. Class is about to start."
"Roger! Try to pay attention with open eyes!" She groaned in response as I head towards my seat. I felt divided; I didn't know what I was feeling. I was happy that she forgave me, but there was something else alongside it, it was uncomfortable. I thought about it a little and came to a quick conclusion. I was still bothered by Taiga doing things without me. I shrug off my irrationalities and move on. Taiga was independent. She was happy. She had things she wanted to do. I think to myself for a moment.
"... I guess I should be a little independent too. I've got to make new friends after all. I can't just stick by Taiga all the time..." It felt like I was abandoning her, going off and doing my own thing. Taiga and I always used to be together. But now... she's different. She's changed a bit. She's happy. If she's happy then I'm happy. Now I just got to make sure everyone else is. This will be still be a great year.
About a week has passed since the day I apologized to Taiga. The whole class has gotten to know each other and our different quirks one way or another. I made sure to always answer speak up during class and be as goofy as possible; as a result people have gotten to know me pretty well. I've gotten to know a lot of the girls in class, some of the guys too. We've all gotten along, and we're comfortable just casually talking with each other. It was shaping up great.
All the while though Taiga was still in the back of my mind. We occasionally talked to each other during class, but we never got the chance to hang out like I always wanted to. I always had to work or go to softball practice, and she would be busy with something else as well. She seemed almost preoccupied whenever I was talking to her. She seemed so distant. I didn't even know half the time what she was doing during the day. She kept things to herself now. It hurt knowing that we had gotten to this point, that we were separated. But I knew it was for the best. I wouldn't do any good if I just barged in to her life and do something she didn't want me to do. It all came full circle yesterday though, when I was waiting for Taiga at the usual spot.
I was lost in thought for the time, a little happy that I would finally get the chance to talk to her, til I saw her walk up the road partnered up with Takasu! I couldn't believe it! All of those times she was busy last week must have been to meet with him! And being in a relationship with someone who you got into a fight with? It was incredible! When we had the chance to talk to each other that day she said it was just a coincidence, that they were neighbors and they walk down the same road. But I knew it was more than that. Taiga was never this close to anybody else. She was just too embarrassed to mention any of this to me, that's all. I wanted to congratulate her, to wish her the best of luck. But I let it slide for the moment, I didn't want to get her upset or anything when we finally had the chance to just walk to school like friends again. After school that day she said she was busy with something at the office and had to stay behind. I saluted her off, knowing full well what she was planning on doing. It all made so much sense. All of those times she went off by herself she wanted to find a happiness that I couldn't give her. I couldn't give it to her, but Takasu could. It was a bittersweet feeling, painful yet satisfying. I didn't know much at all about Takasu, or whether Taiga would be happy with him. But I knew that I would support Taiga through this no matter what. That's why I asked the both of them the next day to meet me at the roof at lunch.
While I was waiting for the both of them, I took the time to stare out past the fence into the clouds and think about everything. Was I really okay with this? Was I emotional? Was I sad? I asked myself those questions for a brief time, wanting to understand myself. The answer, shockingly, was no. I was happy for her. I really was. I knew that we were growing apart, and her dating Takasu would only make that worse, but that didn't mean anything anymore. Taiga didn't need me. She was independent. She was making decisions for herself. She was making herself as happy as she could possibly be. That gave me a feeling I hadn't quite experienced before. It must be what a mother feels when she sees her daughter go and get married, or something like that. A feeling of joy and peace, knowing that this is for the best, even if it is out of your control. It must have been an adult's happiness, or something like that I guess. But that was all I needed to give Takasu my blessing when both him and Taiga eventually came. I was natural as I could be, even striking a combat pose as a joke to fight Takasu. But it ended up the way I wanted it to. On my knees I bowed to the both of them, asking Takasu to bestow as much happiness as was humanly possible to Taiga. Knowing full well that the feelings of my best friend were now out of my control, I then told Takasu as seriously as I could that she was someone important to me and to never make her cry. And if he did, I would never forgive him. There was one person that came to mind when I said that, the one person that was close enough to Taiga that actually made her cry tears of pain. He was the worst scumbag I'd ever met. And I prayed that Takasu was nothing like him.
It was now the day after, Wednesday morning. Everyone had found out about Taiga and Takasu as a couple some way or another, and gossip abounded in the classroom. I sat in my desk, satisfied with what I had done yesterday. Taiga was happy, and I was happy that she was happy. It couldn't be any more perfect. I considered myself a little more grown up too, not being jealous over Taiga either. Things had changed a lot from how they were last year, but all in all the new school year was nothing to complain about. "Things change in life, but they change for the better." I started to feel really old all of a sudden, thinking of life sayings that I would hear from seniors at a nursery home. Embarrassed, I shorten my thinking span. "Taiga's happy, so I'm happy." Yeah that's better. A lot better.
Several minutes later I saw her come in through the classroom door. That's strange I thought. Taiga always comes to school pretty late. Class didn't start for about another 20 minutes. Wow, she's even waking up earlier now. How nice. We could actually talk a little now before school started. I quickly noticed something was off though, I think everyone did. She was the hotbed of discussion and all eyes were on her when she walked in. She slowly walked to the front of the class, where Yuri-sensei stands and lectures us. The air around her was heavy; like there was something almost diabolical about her. Oh no. She's mad. Really mad. She started clenching her fists, and her facial expression looked as if she was about to burst with the hatred of demons. My brain starts to rush thoughts in and out on impulse. "What was she mad about? Did someone make her angry? Was it me? What happened yesterday? No, she was with Takasu, she was happy yesterday. Why was she like this?" I was flabbergasted; I had no idea what was going on with my best friend. I braced myself for what was going to happen, the inevitable shout followed by a fit of blind rage. Nothing could have made me predict however the words that she would shout to the whole class.
"RYUUJI IS NOT A DELINQUEEEEEENNNNNTTTT!"
"T-? Taiga?"