What a wicked thing to say/You never felt this way/What a wicked thing to do/To make me dream of you
Butch's front door burst open with a loud bang, and he didn't even flinch at the level of noise it created.
"I wondered how long you'd be." He said nonchalantly as Buttercup thundered inside.
"Why are you doing this to me?" Buttercup demanded as she rounded on him. Butch, who'd been slumped on his sofa, sat up slowly to look at her - he didn't answer her as he didn't get the chance to. "Huh? Why are you doing this to me? I mean - why now?! We haven't spoken to each other for years, you've had about a billion and one trashy girlfriends since me, you've showed zero interest in me for the majority of our time apart - you've slept with my sister, for an entire year, then SUDDENLY you've got this intense interest in me?! You've caused one hell of an argument between Mitch and I, dragged old, fucking dead and dusty skeletons out of the closet, and for what? Fun?!" She demanded to know.
Butch rose to his feet in front of her, the relaxed and expectant expression now gone from his face. "I may not have shown any interest in awhile but it's always been there."
Buttercup rolled her eyes dramatically.
"It fucking has! I haven't been allowed to show any interest have I?! What happened between Blossom and me - it taught me something." Butch said.
"What?!" Buttercup snapped. "That you quite like fucking people from the same family?!"
He ignored her comment. "That I do want what I always thought I didn't want. What I always thought I didn't deserve. What we had. I'm fed up of always being the loner. The one everyone thinks' heart is in his dick! And okay, I guess for those years without you it was. But I do want someone. And not fucking Blossom. I wasn't attached to Blossom. I didn't love her. I've never really loved anyone I've ever been with. The only person I've ever actually fucking loved is –"
Buttercup stopped him. "Don't. Please, don't."
"You." He said it anyway. "You, Buttercup. Why won't you hear it? Why won't you listen to me?" Butch's voice was on the verge of desperate now.
"It's too little, too late now, that's why! You don't even mean any of this anyway. You've just realized Boomer and Brick are both a part of families of their own now, they aren't there at your beck and call anymore. And you're done messing with Blossom so you've decided to start on me or something - I don't know. I don't fucking know what you're playing at with all this but –" She was interrupted by him reaching out and seizing her by the shoulders.
"Buttercup I do mean it. I mean every word! Everything is a joke to me, right? Butch doesn't mean anything he says - he doesn't feel anything?! Turns out, I fucking do! I have spent years trying to come to terms with this, fighting this - ignoring it! I even slept with your fucking sister to try and forget about you! But none of it worked! It was easier to just pretend and go along with my life, living day to day. Acting like nothing fucking bothers me - but shit does fucking bother me! Being so fucking alone does bother me!"
Buttercup's jade eyes were wide as he slowly removed his hands from her shoulders - they didn't share physical contact in the slightest nowadays and he felt even that gesture was nearing dangerous. She'd not interrupted him so he continued to speak.
"Because I am alone! Every day - I'm alone. Just like I always thought I deserved. I'm on my fucking own, and I was living with someone as fucking miserable as Brick - but look at him now! Now, he's got what he wanted, because he acted. I told him what I thought about him and Blossom, what a dick he was for not doing all he could to sort it out with her, and rather than beating the shit out of me like I expected him to, he acted on it. And look at them two now. It worked, he's happy, they're happy. He fucked up, like I fucked up - worse than I did, in fact. Cos I never did what he did! But he faced it head on, and owned up to his mistakes, and now they're happy." Butch paused as he studied Buttercup's face.
"Even fucking Boomer, for crying out loud! He knew being with Bubbles would make him happy, even though all of us disapproved years ago, when they were two teenagers who reckoned they were in love. And look at them! They're the solidest couple of all of us! Messing around with Blossom like I did proved to me that I still want you. Because I have never stopped thinking about you. Not for one second. It's been over 8 years since we were together, and if I don't do something now I might never get the chance." Butch said, and Buttercup stared at him in shock.
She ran a hand through her hair and covered her face in despair. "This can't be fucking happening." She muttered under her breath. It couldn't be happening.
"Do you know how fucking heartbroken I was - still am, even - when you raised Jay with Mitch? I knew you knew. All three of us knew the real deal." Butch's voice was small. She felt a stab in her heart.
"No - no one knows." She quipped. "And it's staying that way."
"It isn't right. It's fucking wrong - and you know it is. It's not fair." Butch said, not caring that he sounded like a pouting child. "It's not fair on any of us."
"You wanna talk about fair?! Fair would have been you growing up and realising all this shit 8 years ago! That's what would have been fair! And you know what? Life isn't fair!" She snapped, a voice in her head telling her Butch was right, and she was being an asshole. She ignored it like she normally did.
"When you told me you were pregnant, then went off with him –"
"Just stop it!" Buttercup growled. "It was not like that! Jay is Mitch's son!"
"You know that isn't 100 percent true. It's more like a what, 20 percent chance - if that. Maybe not even that much. He doesn't look a thing like him! And unless there's stuff I don't know about, the timing doesn't add up at all!" Butch countered.
"He looks like me!" Buttercup cried, almost hysterical. "I'm his mother!"
"Yeah, he does look like you. But so do I, if you wanna get technical. He can fucking fly, he has superpowers Buttercup! If he were genuinely half human, half puff, he wouldn't have such a range of superpowers. The kid is solid tough!" Butch reasoned. "Probably tougher than me!"
"We don't know that do we?! The first pure puff and ruff kids are babies still, they aren't old enough to display any powers. Jay just got his powers from me. Just like he got his black hair and green eyes from me." Buttercup said with a shrug, as if it were that simple.
"You're fucking deluded." He muttered, shaking his head and looking up at the ceiling in exasperation. She glared at him. "Well - the only way he's Mitch's son, is if you slept with Mitch while we were together still. Did you cheat on me with Mitch? Before we split up for the last time, was there a crossover I don't know about?"
"No! I told you, there was never any crossover! We split up, Mitch told me he loved me - there was some back and forth between us until I told you enough was enough and I was with Mitch." She insisted.
"Then he has to be mine! If he's definitely Mitch's son, how come he can throw up a shield like I can? I've seen him do it!" Butch cried.
Buttercup was immediately stunned. "When?" She asked simply, her voice less dismissive this time. "When, when did you see that?!"
"A couple of years ago; it snowed. Me, Boomer and Mitch took him out to play in the snow, remember? I was throwing snowballs at him, and when he got fed up with it he threw up a shield. Even Boomer asked questions then! I made out you could do that too, even though you can't. You're just lucky Boomer obviously hasn't said anything to Bubbles about it, she'd have set him straight." Butch explained.
"Did Mitch see?" Buttercup asked in a worried voice, and Butch sighed, shaking his head.
"No, he didn't. He stopped playing halfway through to take a phone call." The green ruff replied.
"To work, more than likely." Buttercup answered flatly. There was a silence. "Why didn't you say anything to Mitch?"
"What do you mean?" Butch asked, confused by the question.
"Why didn't you tell Mitch what you and Boomer saw? You know, rub it in? You had proof. I'm surprised you didn't wanna rub it in."
Butch shrugged. "Because, I know how you feel about it all. I know you fucking hate me bringing it up. I've only managed to get you to speak to me about this like a handful of times in the years since Jay was born - and each time you've made it clear the idea of sharing a child with me repulsed you - to the point you've convinced yourself he's Mitch's kid. Even though we both know you and Mitch had never even had sex around when he was conceived. Unless, like I said, if something happened I don't know about of course..."
She frowned and sighed. "I never cheated on you when we were together."
"I know you didn't." He replied. She lowered herself onto the sofa, and Butch sat down beside her.
Buttercup turned her head in his direction to look at him; he was already looking at her. She peered into his emerald eyes intently. She thought of Jay's eyes. They were green, but a slightly darker shade of green then her own, not as dark as Butch's though. Probably a shade in between them both.
"How could I stay with you, Butch? You went through phases of deciding the word 'love' freaked you out, how would you have reacted to the word 'baby?' You were hardly mature enough to look after yourself, let alone a kid. Neither was I, but I had no choice!" She mumbled, and his eyes widened slightly.
"I should have had no choice either! If I'd have been given the choice, I could have proven myself!" Butch insisted.
Buttercup shook her head. "You'd have ran a mile off if I'd have even insinuated we were to raise him together. I almost felt like I saw relief in your eyes when I moved in with Mitch and never burdened you with any of it."
Butch looked hurt. "That's a fucking lie. You didn't even give me a chance - you wouldn't even talk to me about it when you were pregnant."
"You weren't even in Townsville for most of it!" She cried, staring at him for a moment and sighing once more. Then she stood up. "I can't deal with this right now - I can't. I've gotta get home to Jay."
Butch had gotten to his feet the moment she did. As she turned to leave, Butch grabbed her arm. "Don't go. Come on, I've actually opened up. I've actually spoken to you about how I'm feeling, you were always telling me to do that."
She hesitated, looking at him intently for a few seconds, but then turned to leave anyway.
Butch let go of her. "Fine, leave. Just fucking go. You know it's just like when we were together. I have to open up to you, but you don't have to for me. You get to be all closed off and quiet, and I have to try and fucking guess what the hell is going on in your head. One rule for me, another fucking rule for you."
"It is not like that! And it wasn't like that!" She exclaimed angrily, turning to face him again.
"Yes it fucking was! You've built your walls so high that no one can fucking climb them! And then you get pissed off if anyone tries to!" He yelled.
"Butch, I have so much to lose. This is easy for you; you have nothing to lose. I can't even think straight right now." She cried in despair.
Butch gently gripped at her arms again. "Then don't. Don't think." She didn't pull away from him; she didn't even move. He looked into her eyes for a moment, and decided to just go for it. Butch took her head in his hands and pulled her close, his lips meeting hers and kissing her passionately.
It had been so long. But it was just as good as he'd always remembered.
Buttercup's head told her to fight it, to get him off her, but she didn't. She did the complete opposite. Her arms wrapped around his back and pulled him closer to her. She couldn't help but notice how they molded together, like a perfect fit. Mitch and her didn't mold like that. She kissed him back; she kissed him, and she felt it. That spark.
He was completely wrapped up in her, enlaced in an embrace; kissing her tenderly, holding her as close to him as he possibly could because he knew any second this moment would be over - and he'd been right. One moment he had his arms around her, the next he'd been shoved across his apartment, hitting the wall with a loud thud.
She turned to leave without another word, and it took Butch a moment to peel himself from the wall and follow her. "Buttercup, wait!"
"Butch, no! This is sooo bad okay? I can't be doing this I really can't, not again! I told you I can't do this. I can't, I can't do this!" She cried as she made her way to his front door.
"You can't just walk away!" Butch yelled as he followed her through the hallway of his apartment building.
"You can't just kiss me!" Buttercup shouted, stopping abruptly and turning to face him.
"You kissed me back. I felt it."
"I know I did!" She exclaimed. There was a pregnant pause as they stared at each other. "I shouldn't have."
"Why not?!" He asked, raising his hands in the air in despair.
"You know why not Butch! I am with Mitch! I've just kissed you - when I'm with Mitch! I am fucking up royally, again!" She cried and Butch shook his head at her slowly.
"Yeah, no you're right, that's right. Coming anywhere near me is clearly fucking your life up. To the point that you'd rather play along with some little fantasy that I'm nothing to do with you, or Jay - and stay with someone you don't want to marry, you don't want a future with, you don't want to be with - someone who makes you feel so smothered by him and indebted to him that you dream every night he's fucking drowning you - then have anything to do with me!" Butch barked, his expression bitter but ultimately anguished.
She frowned. "It's not like that!"
"Yes it fucking is. You've been so focussed on and convinced that I'm so bad for you you're blind to what is actually fucking going on in your life!" He accused and she took a couple of steps closer to him.
"But you were bad for me Butch! We were fucking toxic when we were together - and me and Mitch -" She began but he cut her off.
"I don't want to hear how good for you Mitch is! If that were true you wouldn't fucking be here right now!" He told her and she didn't reply, not knowing what to say. "All this time all you've ever focussed on is how fucking shit I am and how good he is - you've created this false little fairytale in which I'm the fucking bad guy, all the while not once stopping to think how I feel about any of it!"
She frowned sadly, how completely broken he looked making a lump form in her throat as she looked at him. She knew he was right and it made her feel fucking awful. She stepped closer to him and touched his chest gently.
"But you know what? I don't know why I expected any less." He mumbled, slowly removing her hand from him, holding it briefly then letting it go. "I don't deserve any better."
She shook her head, replacing her hand on his chest again and stroking it, gently grabbing a fistful of his shirt. "No, that's not true. You do deserve better."
"No I don't. I don't deserve a second of your time or consideration. I don't deserve a fucking thing and I never have done. I'm not good enough for you. I've never been good enough, and I never will be." He mumbled dejectedly, his forest eyes tormented.
"That's the thing Butch. You always were enough. You just wouldn't believe it, no matter how much I told you, no matter how much I loved you. You never thought you were enough but you always were. I just wanted you." She told him, grabbing his face and making him look at her.
He stared at her for a few seconds, and she looked back, before placing her lips on his.
And before they knew it, they'd made their way back into Butch's apartment, entangled in one another the entire way, forgetting everything and anyone else as Butch kicked the door to his bedroom shut behind them.
Buttercup and Butch lay in his bed, a few thousand miles between them, their backs to each other. Buttercup pushed some of her thick hair out of her face, trying to tame it slightly. She gripped at the sheets, pulling them closer and cursed under her breath.
"Shit. Shit shit shit!" She hissed quietly.
But it hadn't been shit at all. Quite the opposite, in fact. The situation? Yeah, that was shit. But the sex they'd just had had been phenomenal. She hadn't had sex like it in a long time - not since the last time she'd been with him, actually.
It wasn't just that it was good. There was just something different about having sex with someone you were so connected to. And after all the time that had passed that hadn't changed between her and Butch at all.
It wasn't bad with Mitch. It just wasn't quite like that. Although thinking of Mitch just made her stomach turn uncomfortably.
"I hope that wasn't a judgement on my performance." Butch murmured, and she turned to face him. He turned around as well, a small smirk on his face.
"You know it wasn't." She replied simply. "I'm not even gunna pretend like it wasn't fucking mind blowing. It was more a judgement on the sort of person that I am." She groaned, and he frowned.
"I'm sorry." He muttered.
Buttercup's eyes widened slightly as she looked at him. She had only ever heard him say sorry a handful of times in his life. It was a rare, strange occurence when it did happen. "It's not just your fault." She sighed, and added: "I'm just as fucking guilty. If not more so. I have fucked up so much. And I'm not even just talking about the fact I'm laying here naked in your bed, all but glowing from what we just did."
There was a pause. Buttercup turned around more to properly look at him. He reached out and found her hand, holding it tightly under the covers. She held it back.
"Mitch knows, you know." She said simply.
"He does?" Butch questioned, knowing she was referring to Jay.
"Yeah. He's always known. Right from day one. It's like you said, I was too far gone when we found out… We'd been together like, 2 months. I was 4 months pregnant. And I never slept with Mitch while we were still on. So, it had to be you. But, I never really said anything, and neither did he... He asked me if I was going back to you again. I said no - because I just didn't think for a second you'd stick around. And I wasn't wrong. You spent the majority of my pregnancy out of town." She pointed out.
"I left town because you were with him. Because we broke up and then you were with him and it all just felt so, final. I couldn't handle it and I couldn't fucking bear to watch it." Butch explained. "And then to make matters worse I come back and you're pregnant. With what was quite clearly my baby. You were carrying my baby and you stayed with him and let everyone think he was Mitch's. You wouldn't even acknowledge that he was mine."
She frowned. "I was scared."
"So was I." He replied. There was a small pause, until Buttercup continued to speak.
"When we discovered Jay had powers, it was like some kind of silent confirmation. Not that either of us really needed it. When we argued earlier, he said it then too. He doesn't really believe Jay is his son, he just wants to believe he is. Pretend he is, even. But he's always known... Like you said before, the timing is all wrong, he knows that too. He knew that when we got together. But he's raised him as his own regardless. And I've just fucking cheated on him." Buttercup was almost explaining it to herself, in case she didn't quite understand.
"I have chewed Brick out for years for cheating on Blossom. In fact, I still don't really like him that much because of it, because of what he put her through. And I've just done the same thing to Mitch. In the same apartment. This apartment is fucking cursed." Buttercup said, her tone incredulous.
"It's a little different. Carla was just some assistant that Brick didn't feel anything for. He was pissed off at Blossom, he thought they'd broken up, so he didn't think and just did it. You and me - it's not like that. It's different." Butch shrugged as he turned so he was facing her now, filling most of the gap between them.
"It's not Butch." Buttercup said, turning to face him too. "It's the same damn thing and it's just as wrong. And what's worse is it's happened before. How many fucking times did I end up in your bed at the very beginning of mine and Mitch's relationship? Too many fucking times. And now it's happened again after 8 fucking years. I'm scum." She confirmed and he curled his arms around her waist, pulling her warm, nude body against him.
"You're not scum." He told her, nuzzling against her.
"I am." She insisted. "I'm scum. And I'm profoundly and irreversibly screwed up."
He chuckled, which she found ridiculous in a way as how could he be laughing right now? "Well, that probably makes two of us. Do you know why you're here?" He asked her, peering up at her curiously, his head rested on her collarbone.
"As I said, screwed up." She replied and he smirked.
"Why you're really here?"
"Because. I want to be." She told him. "Which only fucking complicates things further. Mitch is going to fucking kill me when he finds out. The thing he was accusing me of I have just fucking done."
"He couldn't kill you if he tried." Butch commented, and she ignored it.
"It's going to crush him." She mumbled.
"Well, I've spent 8 years being crushed by him every day, so. Time to pass the buck." Butch muttered, and she felt that deep guilt swirl around in her stomach like she often did when around Butch.
"I don't think it works like that." The green puff said and he sighed.
"Who fucking knows how it's supposed to work. Not like this, I'd hazard a guess."
"Not like this at all." She agreed. "You know, this probably sounds stupid but, whenever I'm here with you, like this, I can never seem to remember why we felt we had to break up so much." She mumbled, her hand tracing along his waist as she spoke. She felt him smile against her skin.
"I know what you mean. I feel like that every time I look at you." He replied, and a sad little smile played about her lips.
"I better get home to Jay." She said, her son entering her mind and the guilt that followed almost consuming her.
"Okay. Just, give me a couple more minutes." He murmured into her warm skin. "I just need a couple more minutes with you before it all ends."
She swallowed hard, resting her head against the top of his. "Okay."
When Buttercup got home it was about 9pm. Mitch was sitting on the sofa, waiting for her she could only presume. The TV was on, but he wasn't actually watching it. Jay was in bed asleep. She let her bag slide down her arm and placed it onto the floor.
"Been with Butch, have you?" Mitch said, his voice stony, expression hard.
Buttercup swallowed. She could lie. She went to see Blossom first. She could have been there the whole time. Blossom could be her alibi, she was there, it wasn't exactly a lie.
She looked at Mitch's frowning face as he got to his feet. It was a lie. If she said she'd just been to Blossom's it would be a lie. She'd been to see Butch. And she'd slept with him. She shouldn't, couldn't lie.
"Answer me!" Mitch bellowed in a voice so ferocious Buttercup flinched slightly. He didn't get angry very often. He was normally a pretty mellow guy. So if he did shout or yell, you knew he was really pissed.
"When you walked in on us the other day - nothing had happened. You treated me like I was guilty by association." She began, but he spoke before she could start her next sentence.
"Something's clearly happened now though, hasn't it?" He said knowingly, and guilt graced her features. Mitch flashed her a disgusted look.
"I just went over there to talk to him, but -" Buttercup began to explain but she didn't get to say anymore, Mitch interrupted her.
"I fucking knew it!" Mitch yelped, running his hands through his brown hair. "I fucking knew something was going on! God and you treated me like I was SO out of order for assuming what was fucking OBVIOUS!"
"Mitch I'm sorry!" She yelped but he was not hearing it.
"Oh I'm so fucking done with hearing that. I really am." Mitch dismissed her. She frowned at him.
"You act like our entire relationship has been dotted with instances like this when it fucking hasn't!" Buttercup cried exasperatedly. "I know it was rocky at the start but -"
He scoffed. "Yeah, rocky, that's a much more pleasant way of saying you fucking slept with him countless times when we were supposed to be together at the beginning. And fuck knows how long that would have continued to happen had you not have found out you were pregnant and got the shock of your life! And I fucking stayed with you after all that!"
"Do you know how exhausting it is being with someone who thinks you owe them the fucking world every single day of your life? All these years you've acted like I owe you so much because of the choices you made! They were your choices! You were the one who decided to make this huge sacrifice, that no one asked you to make! And you expect me to congratulate you everyday for that, for something I never asked you to do!" Buttercup cried.
"What was I supposed to do when you came to me and told me you were pregnant?!" He exclaimed. "At first, I'm thinking I'm having a kid - then we find out you're four months gone, when we've only been together for two months. What was I supposed to do, Buttercup? Leave you?"
"You were supposed to do what you wanted to do! I didn't force you to do anything!" Buttercup said. "I never asked you to stay, I never forced you to stay! Finding out your girlfriend is pregnant with her ex boyfriend is pretty fucking major - no one would have blamed you for walking away!"
"Yeah well, and I didn't force you to go to Butch tonight! Why would I want you to go to him?!" Mitch barked.
She sighed at his swift change of topic. "No, you didn't, I know you didn't, but, but." She didn't know what to say, she knew she couldn't justify her actions. The cracks in their relationship were down to lack of communication from both sides. "You can't even just stay on that topic and talk to me about it - already you're changing the subject."
He made a noise filled with disgust in the back of his throat. "The subject you're talking about is a pretty fucking big deal! So you slept with him, did you?" Mitch said, his arms folding across his chest.
She didn't answer, but the guilt etched on her face gave her away.
"You are fucking unbelievable, Buttercup." Mitch yelped. "After everything I've done for you! Everything he should have been doing! And this is how I'm repaid?!"
He was doing it again - bringing up how much he was owed by her, but she didn't bring that up, she couldn't focus on that. Because she had just cheated on him. "Mitch, Mitch please! I'm so fucking sorry." She said in a quiet, apologetic voice.
Mitch shook his head. "The thing is, you're not. Not really. This was a long fucking time coming. I mean I thought you finally got him out of your system but, clearly he's like some fucking irreversible disease that there's no fucking cure for. I don't need this shit, you know? I really don't." With that he turned towards the stairs, and stormed up them. Buttercup followed close behind him.
"Mitch what are you doing?" She asked as he entered their bedroom, loudly grabbing a large suitcase from under their bed and pulling it up onto the top of it.
"What I should have fucking done the first time you cheated on me with him. I'm out of here." He growled as he began to angrily throw his clothes into it, and panic surged through her as she realised he was leaving. All she could think of was Jay.
"Mitch, no, please. Don't go, don't leave - what about Jay?" She tried to reason.
"What about Jay? He's not my kid is he?!" Mitch snarled, yanking out the top drawer to his bedside cabinet and pouring the contents into the case. "You know that, I know that. What's the fucking point?"
"Mitch you can't just go! He'll be so confused - you love him, you know you do." Buttercup practically begged as Mitch trashed the room as he searched for items he knew were his.
"No, I'm just gunna go right ahead and make things easier for you guys, and get out of the picture. He can raise his own fucking kid and you two can be together! Play happy fucking families. Happy, fucked up families. It's what you've always secretly longed for anyway, isn't it?" He growled. "I mean damn, the guy owes the pair of you so much! It's about time he stepped in and raised his own fucking son. He can pay all the bills and put food on the table too while he's at it."
Buttercup could feel anger building up inside her now.
"You know, if we've been such a fucking burden to you for so long, then maybe you should just go! We've just taken, taken, taken from you haven't we - with absolutely no giving back at all, you're right - you should just leave." She spat angrily.
Mitch stopped packing to turn and look at her, his expression furious. "If you'd have opened up for once in your goddamn life we might not even be in this mess! We both knew, we've always known. Right from that first fucking scan when you were too far along. Even Butch knows. It was painfully fucking obvious. But have we ever spoken about it? No. No! Not properly. You could have been absolutely transparent with me - but you're fucking incapable. I knew there was never any point trying to address any of this with you. Because you live your life behind a fucking 20 foot, guarded fence. And, because this right here, you and him - it was inevitable. Something about him calls out to you. It always has done. Even though he's a good for nothing piece of shit."
"Calls out to me?! Mitch, I've been with you like 8 and a half years! And I've been nowhere near him or anyone else -" She began but he interrupted her.
"Yeah, until today. Because he's got his nails in you deep. And maybe things could have been different if you were capable of communicating fucking anything you were feeling! But you don't tell me squat! And you never will. You're a fucking closed book!" He snarled at her.
Buttercup only growled in reply. Everyone was telling her to open up and talk. She didn't like to open up, talking about how she felt had never come easy to her. Blossom had said it, Butch had said it, now Mitch too! And all three could talk! Blossom was the last person to admit she had a problem, Butch barely knew what feelings were and it took Mitch 16 years to even admit to Buttercup that he liked her!
"How on earth was I supposed to talk about something like this, Mitch?" Buttercup asked him despairingly. He shrugged over exaggeratedly.
"Pretty fucking easily, Buttercup! You were with Butch. Then you weren't. Then you were, then you weren't, etc etc - continue that for a few years - and then when you weren't, you were with me. Finally, you were with me. And two months later, you discover you're pregnant. Four months pregnant - so the kid is obviously not mine. Butch is the only other guy you've ever been with, it's gotta be him. But we don't ever actually address that. No, that'd be way too healthy, wouldn't it? We just act like he's mine, and act like Butch doesn't even exist anymore - which isn't the bit I'm mad about - I'm sure he was wholly relieved about that bit, getting straight off the hook from any parental responsibility!" Mitch scoffed, and Buttercup frowned, feeling a lump in her throat. Mitch was wrong on the last part.
"When we found out - you could have left. I didn't beg, or plead. I didn't beg or plead either of you - I'd have done it on my own!" Buttercup inserted but he shook his head at her.
"How the fuck was I supposed to walk away Buttercup? I knew he wouldn't do the right thing. And I waited so fucking long for you! I have no idea why I even bothered, you know? I knew, right from the beginning, but I stuck by you. I played along. You wanted to act like he was mine? I acted like he was mine. I played 'Daddy'. You didn't wanna give Butch even a sliver of a chance - so I didn't either. Only for you to throw it all back in my face. No idea why I deal with all this shit, why I let myself get emotionally involved. I guess I was just so desperate for you to love me back." His voice wobbled slightly on his last sentence, and the anger subsided slightly when Buttercup caught a glimpse of his face.
Suddenly he looked completely broken. "Mitch, please. Just listen to me. Stop packing and - and listen to me. We don't have to do this, you don't have to go."
"No, I do have to go. Because you've just broken whatever this was we had. You've just gone straight to him, and fucked him. And I've heard the 'it's really over now' story between you two way too many times. I've picked up the pieces when things eventually go wrong too many times. I'm not going through it again. I'm absolutely fucking done." Mitch said, resuming packing his things. He went through to the bathroom and grabbed some items from in there.
She didn't say anything as he padded out of the room; just stared at his side of the bed, noting how empty it now looked. She felt a lump forming in her throat at the sight. He came back in after grabbing his toiletries and opened their closet, beginning to grab clothes from there.
"I'm such a fucking stupid, spineless cunt! I mean, I've stuck by you for over 8 years, Buttercup. Picked you up off the ground when he left you there, and this is how you repay me? I've fucking clothed your kid, put food in his stomach, so many birthdays, so many Christmases, I was fucking there. Parents evenings. School plays. I was there! Working my fucking ass off to keep us afloat. For you and him!" He snarled through gritted teeth, his anger had returned now. "After everything I've done for you - you do this? You're a fucking - you're," He spluttered in his anger, trying to find the words. "You're fucked up! Fucked up beyond repair. You played with my feelings! You never loved me, I was just the more convenient path for you!"
She frowned at him and shook her head, swallowing the lump in her throat before she spoke. "I did love you Mitch."
"Well, I did love you too." He replied, glaring at her. He zipped up the suitcase and pulled it off the bed, tramping down the stairs without a second glance at her or their home.
When he reached the front door, he grabbed the car keys off the cabinet. "I'm taking this, it's not like you two need it anyway."
Buttercup said no more. She just watched him load the car with his things and leave, no idea where he was going, or if or when he'd be back. He didn't look at her as he pulled away, but she couldn't remove her eyes from him.
She watched until the car was a tiny dot in the distance of the long horizontal street they lived on. Then slowly she forced herself to come inside, numbly walking up the stairs, and peeked in on Jay in his bedroom.
He was in bed, but only just; she'd heard the distinct whoosh of him jumping back under the covers. He'd been awake. She had no idea how much he'd heard. Or what he'd seen.
But he wasn't stupid. And he also had super hearing. He'd know a lot more than he did previous. Just how much, she didn't know. He was probably so confused, and scared.
With a heartfelt sigh, she ran her hands through her hair and retreated to her bedroom, sitting down on her bed stiffly. Eventually, she crawled underneath the covers, feeling herself finally crack and break. She could no longer keep the tears in, and allowed them to fall freely, burying her face in her pillow and sobbing.
The sound of Jay slamming the front door shut echoed through the house with a bang. Buttercup winced as she nursed her coffee. It had been three days since Mitch left, and Jay had still barely uttered a word to her.
She didn't know what he'd heard, or how he was feeling - she just knew he was pissed off with her majorly. He was refusing to let her take him or pick him up from school; he'd been flying himself in and sending her a blunt text message from the old cell phone she'd found and insisted he take with him, letting her know he was there or was on his way home. Buttercup couldn't help but feel grateful for even that from him.
Had Buttercup told anyone what had happened? No. Of course not. She'd ignored all calls from anyone, especially Butch, and had practically gone into hibernation, calling in sick for her self defence classes she taught in the evenings. She'd only gone out once for groceries, and the couple of times she'd attempted to pick up Jay from school. Besides that she'd been at home, living in sweatpants and miserating about the situation she felt she'd got herself into.
Jay slung his backpack on his back as he jetted into the air, a permanent glare fixed onto his face. Flying at breakneck speed, and inwardly complaining about the absence of his father, he wasn't watching where he was going, and suddenly found himself hurtling into a solid brick wall.
Dazed, it was only when the brick wall cursed that he realised it was indeed not a wall at all. What a wall would be doing in the sky, he didn't know. He didn't care, either.
"Jeez, dude - watch out." Butch said as he held his stomach, winded. "You're like a little hulk."
Jay smiled briefly, looking Butch up and down. "Oh, it's you. That makes more sense than a brick wall."
"It's you too." Butch replied, smirking. "Where are you heading in such a hurry? And on your own?"
"School." He muttered casually, still glaring at the world.
"School? So what's the rush?" Butch said, extending his arms and legs to relax mid air. "If anything, I'd take your time."
"I'll willingly go to school to get away from that miserable old hag." He muttered, gesturing homeward.
Butch's eyes widened in surprise. "Dude, your mom's fucking cool."
"My Dad doesn't think so at the moment. See you around." Jay shrugged, done with talking and disappearing in a second.
Butch watched him go, unsure if he should follow him or let him go. He sighed, deciding to let him get himself to school. He knew next to nothing about kids, especially super powered ones. For all he knew he took himself to school most days, he didn't know. And that made him feel shit.
Butch was on his way to Buttercup's place. He'd texted her, and called, but had no response. And he needed to see her, to know she was okay. If Mitch was there, he'd just have to face the fallout. Buttercup had had to face it alone, it only seemed fair he took some of the flack too. Hey, he might even let him have a free hit.
Butch knocked on the door, but there was no answer. His next knock was louder, and all he heard was the muffled cries of profanities. Seeing the door wasn't locked, Butch let himself in, noting their car wasn't on the drive.
"Buttercup?" He called, glancing inside.
"Go away." She called back bluntly.
He turned into the kitchen to see her sitting at their breakfast bar, holding onto a cup of coffee like it was a lifeline.
"Shall I wait till you've finished that? Then maybe you'll be able to talk properly?" He questioned, trying not to smile at her; he'd been seeing her so often lately, not seeing her had made him miss her more than he usually did. Especially after getting to hold her and kiss her and so much more the last time he'd been with her.
"Coffee doesn't ask stupid questions." She muttered. "Coffee understands."
Butch laughed, but Buttercup groaned. "You should go Butch. You really, really shouldn't be here. It's gunna make things more complex than they already are."
Butch ignored her. "I just ran into Jay. He seemed pretty pissed. Also, does he usually go off to school on his own?"
"He seemed pissed because he is pissed." Buttercup mumbled. "Mitch packed his shit up and left. He's gone. And Jay heard everything, so he knows it's all my fault."
Butch swallowed, guilt running through him. He didn't care how Mitch felt, the days of them two being close ended a long time ago - the moment Mitch said 'I love you' to Buttercup. But Jay. He didn't want him to be upset. He was only a kid. This was all too much for him to even attempt to understand.
"And what the hell am I supposed to tell him? 'Sweetie, Dad's left. Dad's left, because he's not actually your Dad. Dad's left, because Mom slept with your real… your real…" Buttercup couldn't say anymore, her voice had broken on the last word and she knew she'd burst into tears if she spoke anymore.
Butch felt awful. He'd only ever seen Buttercup cry a couple of times, but he knew he found it unbearable. And though she'd managed to stop herself, it was a horrible sight. He'd never been good with crying girls, he'd learnt that during his days with Blossom, and the thought of Buttercup bursting into tears absolutely horrified him - for different reasons too. Buttercup crying made his chest hurt.
Plus, Buttercup had almost actually verbalised the fact that Jay was his son. He got goosebumps as he thought that. He had a son. He'd known all along but, finally, was there going to be actual, real acknowledgement of it?
"I feel so fucking shit. Why couldn't you have just left me alone? Why couldn't you have just kept hounding my sister?" Buttercup demanded.
"Because I don't want your sister! I want you." Butch said, leaning on the counter and attempting to take her hand, but she pulled it away.
"Well you're too late Butch! Fucking years too late! I know you're used to getting what you want, but not this time!" Buttercup told him, and he frowned.
"Why did you come over to my apartment then? Why did you come over, and talk to me?" Butch asked, his tone more serious now.
Buttercup avoided the question. "You really shouldn't be here."
"Buttercup, answer me. Why did you have sex with me? If everything is so fucking picture perfect between you and Mitch, why have you let me hang around you?" He pressed. "Why did you kiss me? And why did you sleep with me? Why did you let me in a bit? Was this your idea of a little fun or something? Messing around with my feelings?"
"Oh god, I haven't played with anyone's feelings!" She exclaimed; the insinuation bugging her as Mitch had said the same thing about himself to her.
"Answer my question!" Butch said in a stern voice.
Buttercup stared him out, determined not to tell him.
"Why Buttercup? If you hate me that much, why did you act like you feel it too?" He looked at her intently, so intently she just couldn't look away.
"Because, because, I don't hate you. Of course I don't. I don't exactly like you sometimes, but - I don't hate you. Mitch and I, it's not been right for years. I'm not sure it ever has been, our relationship is based on lies, and zero communication. I just feel like we're trundling along. Like I kind of, I dunno, settled for him. Because - he loved me so much, enough to stay with me and commit to me. He wanted to be with me, properly. And I was young, and pregnant, and scared. I was having a baby with someone who I hadn't even seen or heard from for months since we split up!" Buttercup said, and Butch looked a little guilty at her words.
"Someone who had form for disappearing after a fight or break up too - and both of those happened often. I didn't need constant fighting, arguing and running hot and cold - I needed stability. Some form of stability. And Mitch - he could offer me that. Let's face it Butch, stable is not a word I'd ever use to describe you." She said, and he didn't disagree with her. She continued to speak. "Sometimes I'd just tell you I loved you and you'd run a mile!"
"I was already with Mitch, pregnant - and he didn't run a mile. Even though it was clear he wasn't Jay's father when we found out. We found out just how pregnant I was; and I expected that to be the end of our relationship. But, there was never any question of whose baby it was. Like I said, he asked if I was going back to you. I didn't even know where you was and I honestly thought there'd be a Butch shaped hole in the wall when I told you, so I said no. He made it clear he would be there for me - and he was. And then Jay was born, and he was the spit of you, but everyone kept saying how he looked like me. So - so I just never said anything. I was almost delusional. I knew the moment Mitch held him that he knew for absolute definite. He knew already. But he didn't leave. I knew the moment you eventually met Jay, you'd know. You knew the moment you saw me all big and pregnant." She said, running a hand through her hair and looking at him. He didn't speak, just looked sad, and guilty.
"I mean, you - I hadn't seen you for months; you weren't even around. What did you expect me to do, come and find you? And force you to be a happy little family?" Buttercup paused, looking at Butch, who looked wounded by her confessing all this, finally.
"No but, I didn't know what I was supposed to do either." Butch interjected. "I left town for a bit cos I felt like it really was over, you'd moved on - quickly, and then when I did come back you were all pregnant and wouldn't talk to me. I didn't know what I was supposed to do."
She sighed, leaning her head in her hand.
"Mitch treats me as if I owe him so much. He stayed, he worked, he put food on the table, clothes on our backs, helped raise Jay. Even though. Even though he wasn't his… And I apparently owe him for that, big time. But it was his choice. Right from 'you're actually 18 weeks pregnant, Miss Utonium', he could have said, I'm done - I'm out. But he didn't. He stayed, and it's taken such a toll on our relationship. I just don't feel whatever I felt for him anymore. I feel like he resents me. I feel like there's an imbalance - like I'm indebted to him and forever reminded of that. There's no passion. There's no excitement. There's no love anymore. When I was with you the other night, I could feel all three of those things." Her green eyes met his for a few seconds.
On the inside, Butch was positively beaming at her words, but he gave her a little half smile. He didn't want to get cocky, even though his mind was on overdrive with excitement. Yes, she felt love, and passion and excitement with him, but at what cost? It wasn't as black and white as he wanted it to be, he'd only frustrate her if he acted as if it was. And, she was actually opening up to him. He felt like he only had to say the wrong thing once and she'd slam the book shut promptly on his face.
"Anyway... You should still go. If Mitch comes back here, you can't be here. And I should get a shower, I am starting to hum." Buttercup said, rising from her seat. "You know where the door is." She said, stretching tiredly; she didn't look like she'd done a lot of sleeping.
As she stretched, her t shirt rode up and revealed a strip of toned stomach and hips. Butch couldn't help but look. It made him think of the other day, when he'd held her close, and he felt an ache in his chest.
"If you're having a shower, are you sure you don't want me to stay?" Butch suggested.
Buttercup scoffed. "Nice try. But no thank you. Look, I'll call you - or something… I will I promise. But, I have so much shit to try and sort out. I don't know how is best to... I'll call you, okay?"
"Or I could just wait till you're out?" He proposed hopefully.
"Butch, no. Go on, you know your way out." Buttercup said. "When I get back down, you better not be here." She said as she floated up the stairs.
"Fine, I'll go." Butch said with much effort.
Buttercup stuck her arm out of the shower, blindly fumbling for her towel. Grabbing ahold of it at last she threw it around herself.
She scrubbed at her hair with it briefly, before throwing it round herself again and looking at her reflection in the mirror. Her thick, jagged hair had gotten a little longer than she normally liked it, but she hadn't even thought to go get it cut.
Butch had always liked it a little longer than she did. So had Mitch. But, being Buttercup, she'd worn it short, because she preferred it shorter. It was just easier to maintain. Maybe she'd continue to let it grow, just this once…
She turned her head towards the door then, certain she heard a noise coming from downstairs. Hovering into her bedroom, she stopped by her bed to grab the clothes she'd laid out and quickly throw them on.
But they weren't there.
She blinked, confused. Maybe she hadn't got any out. She went to her drawer, and it was empty. She closed it and opened it again, but there were still no clothes in there.
Buttercup proceeded to rifle through her other drawers and her closet, but they were all empty - scratch for a shirt of Mitch's he'd accidentally left behind. Well, she wasn't going to put that on.
"What the fuck…" She mumbled under her breath, as she wrapped the towel around her tighter and headed downstairs, remembering hearing something.
When she reached half way down her stairs she realised the TV was on, and Butch was sat watching it.
She narrowed her eyes at him. "Where are my clothes?" She demanded.
Butch turned to face her. "Clothes? I don't know - where you usually keep them, maybe?"
"Don't play dumb. Where have you put them? I told you to go!" Buttercup cried, not seeing the funny side to this at all.
"You've lost them? That was silly of you." He said, getting to his feet now.
When she looked up and saw the grin on his face she got even more annoyed. "Get that stupid look off your face. Where are my clothes Butch?!"
He laughed then, lunging forward on the spot and scooping her up into his arms. Buttercup hastily wrapped the towel around her, Butch's hold having revealed some of her bare, freshly washed skin.
The moment he'd grabbed her she'd immediately protested as he'd flown upstairs towards her bedroom, but she made zero efforts to stop him. She did however continue to scold him as he laid her down on her bed - but she was finding it hard not to smile at the stupid grin that was fixed on his face.
He laid down next to her, leaning on his hand and peering at her. "You don't really need your clothes, do you?" Butch purred, a cheeky glint in his eyes.
She chuckled slightly as she pulled the towel around herself tighter. "Yeah, I kinda do. You do know where they are, right?"
He laughed. "Under the bed."
"For fuck sake!" She exclaimed as he laughed harder, and Buttercup remembered how nice his laugh was. She sat up to try and grab some of her clothes, but Butch leant forward and kissed her. And then she remembered how nice that was too.
But the kiss progressed into Butch yanking her towel away, clutching her soft hips and pulling her close to him, and Buttercup didn't stop him - but she realised if she didn't soon they'd be doing what she was in the doghouse for already all over again. Thing's tended to progress fairly quickly when Butch was around.
She took his wrists gently to stop him. Butch waggled his eyebrows playfully but she shook her head.
"No, Butch - I'm stopping you. Because this is escalating and - it can't." Buttercup smiled, letting go and pulling her towel over her.
"Oh whatttt?" He whined as she got up off the bed. "But escalating sounds fun."
"Doing that isn't what's best for us at this moment in time." She told him as she tightened the towel around herself. "As fun as I'm sure it would be. Also, I'm really aware of how naked I am. So instead of doing that, you can help me put my fucking clothes back where they belong!"
Butch sighed as he got to his feet. "I think my idea was a lot more fun, personally."
Buttercup allowed herself to enjoy Butch's company for a couple of hours. She'd reasoned that Mitch hadn't shown his face or made any form of contact, why would he suddenly show up today?
He wouldn't. He'd made it perfectly clear he was gone - and that it was over. And she couldn't say she blamed him.
So Buttercup and Butch had watched daytime TV, had some lunch together and made each other laugh for the rest of the day. It was the first time in ages Buttercup had had so much fun doing absolutely nothing.
"So, are you feeling okay?" Butch asked, and Buttercup look round at him, cranking a brow. "You know, everything with Mitch?"
She sighed lightly. "No, not really. I don't know. I feel like..." She paused, trying to find the words. "I feel like I've been holding my breath for like a decade, and I've just taken a couple of big breaths."
He frowned at her, his hand stroking the curve of her waist as they sat on the sofa together. They'd gradually became entwined in each other as the TV watching had progressed.
"Was he mad?" Butch questioned, knowing the most likely answer to her question.
"Yeah. He was mad." Buttercup replied instantly.
"Did he yell? Or throw shit and stuff?"
"He didn't throw stuff but he did yell. A lot. But, can't really blame him." She murmured.
"Sorry I wasn't there. I should have been there to take the blame too." He said, and she shook her head.
"No, I'm glad you weren't there. It would have just been a million times worse. Especially with Jay upstairs, it would have been messy. It was fucking horrible, like - just watching everything we ever had fall apart. Watching his heart break, and kinda mine cos I did love the dude. Once upon a time. But, this would have happened eventually whether you were involved or not - not the cheating, I mean. I just mean, we would have exploded at some point. The cracks were beginning to form. They have been for ages. He's been working all the time. Proposed to me like, 4 times and I've said no every time he's asked. I'm sure there's only so much of that a person can take. We've just been beating a dead horse for years." The green puff said sombrely.
"Are you actually broken up?" Butch asked gingerly. "Like, did he call it off?"
"It's definitely over." Buttercup replied, a heavy silence following.
"I feel like I should say, 'that sucks', or, or 'I'm really sorry your relationship broke down - because of me', but it would be totally insincere." Butch murmured, and she smirked, looking up at him and trying not to laugh at his bare faced honesty. "But, I will say that I hope you feel better about it all soon."
"Well, thanks. It's still all sinking in to be honest. I'll probably start feeling a bit better when Jay will talk to me again, and I know what he did and didn't hear. Speaking of," She said, glancing up at the clock on the wall and patting Butch's leg, indicating for him to let her get up. "I better go and get Jay. He gets out of school in like 10 minutes. I don't like him taking himself to and from school on his own like this everyday. I mean I know he's mad at me but I'm still his Mom. He's gotta do as I say regardless of how much he hates me right now." She said, stretching and slipping on her sneakers. She'd only been soft on him because she thought he deserved to be mad at her.
"I'm sure he doesn't hate you." Butch said, frowning.
"He does right now. And he won't talk to me so I have no idea what is going on in his head. I just know he knows I'm to blame for Mitch walking out. Poor kid doesn't deserve all this… I'm thinking it wouldn't be a great idea for you to be here when he gets in. Not yet... You should probably go." She told him, adding 'but I don't want you to' in her head and not aloud.
"Hey." Butch said, standing too. "I've got an idea. Why don't you sit down," He said, guiding her back onto the sofa. "And I'll go and get him?"
She cranked a brow at him. "You go and collect him from school? No way, that's really not a good –" She began but he butted in.
"Why is it not a good idea? Come on Buttercup - I could talk to him? Get him to be a little easier on you? He likes me, I mean, I think. Whenever I have gotten to speak to him I've always got the feeling he thinks I'm cool, or funny, or whatever." Butch shrugged, and Buttercup frowned guiltily. "You've heard him, he says there's nothing cooler than the Rowdyruff boys." He added with a grin, attempting to remove the guilt ridden look from her face and hide the pain he felt at the fact that he barely got to speak to his own son, and she didn't like the idea of him going to pick up aforementioned own son from school.
Buttercup paused, considering. She knew it was far from a good idea, but she'd had a really nice time with Butch, she didn't want to spoil the day by going nuts at him for even suggesting it. She'd taken enough from Butch when it came to Jay. Way too much. And maybe it would do Jay some good to get things off his chest with someone that wasn't her - he clearly did not want to talk to her right now.
"I can see you are relenting." Butch grinned.
"Fine, fine!" She groaned. "Do you know what school he goes to?"
"Yes -"
"It's Townsville Elementary - on the outskirts of downtown Townsville." She spoke over him and he nodded.
"Yes, I know -" Butch attempted to speak but she spoke over him again; he would have gotten annoyed with her but he could see she was a little panicked at the prospect of someone other than her or Mitch picking him up - or maybe it was at the prospect of him picking him up and then being alone with him. Either way, he wanted to prove to her he was perfectly capable of doing this, because he was.
"I'm trusting you Butch. Don't fuck this up." She told him sternly and sighed lightly.
"Your faith in me astounds me, Buttercup." He said, leaning down and planting a kiss on her forehead. "I won't be long. And he'll be home in one piece. I promise."
Jay did a double take when he noticed Butch stood awkwardly on the school blacktop near the gates.
Lots of the other Mom's and Dad's waiting to collect their children were giving him confused and almost frightened looks. But that wasn't that odd to Jay, the majority of the other Mom's on the playground were scared of his mother. Some of the Dad's too.
"What are you doing here?" Jay asked as he approached Butch, shifting his school bag on his back.
"Picking you up." He muttered. "Duh."
Jay smirked. "Oh, okay."
Butch cocked his head towards the gate. "Come on. Let's go get a burger."
"Sweet." Jay said. "You can pick me up more often."
The fast food joint Butch had picked out happened to be rammed with teenagers who'd just gotten out of school and had gone to their usual haunt to grab a greasy burger. So Butch had ordered their food, and they'd sat outside on the curb of the sidewalk by the car park, eating mostly in silence so far.
Butch felt a bit nervous. He was never on his own with Jay. Never. He couldn't think of one point in his son's short life that he had been alone with him. Apart from now.
However, he figured if he let his nerves show, Jay might feel it and act weird or not talk, so he knew he needed to play it cool, or it was just going to be awkward. And he didn't want that.
"Did my Mom send you to come get me?" Jay asked, distracting Butch from his thoughts.
"Oh, err, yeah. Sorta. She figured you needed a little extra breathing space." Butch replied, and Jay looked momentarily confused, so Butch elaborated. "She knows you're not feeling so hot right now. So how're you holding up kid?"
Jay shrugged, wiping his mouth on the back of his jumper. "All right, I guess."
"You're pretty pissed at your Ma?" Butch asked before taking a large bite of his cheeseburger.
He nodded. "Well yeah. Seems like it's her fault that Dad left. All his stuff is gone from his room, and he hasn't been home in ages, and when I called him from this crappy little phone she's making me use he didn't pick up. So I'm guessing he's not coming back."
Butch didn't know what to say.
"She think's I'm stupid but I'm not. I'm not just a dumb little kid. I know they've split up. It's obvious." Jay said, taking an angered bite into his burger.
"She doesn't think you're stupid. Nobody thinks you're a dumb little kid. She knows you're clever as fuck." Butch told him, and he frowned deeply.
"Well, whatever. They had some huge argument, and Dad just left. He didn't even say goodbye, he just left. He left us, and he's not come back and, and it's all her fault." He was staring dead ahead, emitting an extremely hostile vibe.
"How come you're pinning it on your mom?" Butch questioned. Jay looked up at him and he suddenly looked sad and confused. Butch didn't like it.
"Because –" He said, hesitating.
"What?" Butch urged him.
"Because of something Dad said." He mumbled, his brow furrowed. "If I tell you what he said, will you keep it a secret?"
Butch swallowed hard. Should he be encouraging him to keep secrets. Probably not, but he also wanted him to feel comfortable talking to him and telling him things. "Well, sure." He eventually answered, his voice sounding a little uncertain that he'd answered correctly.
Jay watched him for a moment before deciding to proceed and tell him. "I heard them arguing, and they argue a lot, so at first I was like, what else is new? So I went to go back to sleep. But then they got louder cos they come upstairs. And I did try to sleep but I heard Dad say something and… And I couldn't sleep after that. I couldn't hear anything else after what I heard him say. They were still arguing but I don't know what else they said cos I couldn't get what Dad said out of my head…"
"What did he say?" Butch asked, his voice lowered.
Jay looked up at him, weighing up whether he should tell him or not. He'd always got on with his uncles - particularly Butch and Boomer, Brick could be pretty unsocial. Mom had explained it was because Brick and Butch weren't really his uncles - but now him and Aunty Blossom were together again, so he was his uncle, it seemed. Adults sure were complicated.
But Butch, even though he wasn't his uncle, he'd always paid him a lot of attention when he did see him. He didn't see him a lot but, if he did, he made him laugh - and he liked the brief moments he did get with him. And right now he felt pretty grateful to have someone to talk to - he really felt like he needed what he'd heard explaining to him.
Maybe Butch could explain it.
"I could hear Mom asking him not to go. And she said, 'what about Jay?' And he said, 'what about Jay? He's not my kid is he'. He said, he said something like: 'He can raise his own fucking son, and you two can be together.'" Jay paused, noticing Butch didn't reprimand him for swearing. "He said, stuff about 'playing happy families', or something, then he said 'the guy owes you you both so much, it's time he stepped in and raised his own fucking son'. Then Mom told him if we were such a burden to him he should go. Dad said, he said, 'he's not my fucking kid anyway.'" He paused again. "And then Mom told him to go. And then they must have argued more. And then he left."
Butch watched him, seeing the hurt and confusion in his eyes he was trying so hard to hide. But it was there, clear as day. He blinked, and then his expression was masked by anger. He reminded him so strongly of a younger him, hurt and confused, and ultimately - using anger to hide it.
"Butch, is Mitch not my Dad? He said he wasn't my Dad. Why would he say he wasn't my Dad if he is? Is he not my Dad?" The young boy asked.
The green ruff opened his mouth and closed it again a couple of times, drawing blanks. Jay kept asking more questions.
"Who is my Dad? If it's not Dad – I mean if it's not Mitch, who is it?" He asked, turning desperate bottle green eyes towards Butch.
Butch swallowed, his mouth had suddenly gone dry and his stomach twirled uncomfortably. What did he say? He didn't think their conversation would go this way, he didn't think he'd heard as much as he had.
When Butch didn't automatically answer, Jay looked down at his feet, and scuffed at the asphalt with his sneakers nervously. He looked at Butch's feet that weren't too far from his own. He too was scuffing his foot along in a nervous manner.
And then something clicked.
Jay gazed at Butch curiously. Black hair. Green eyes. Super powers.
"It's you, isn't it?"
r&r :)