Chapter 5: Ghosts are Trouble
"... Alright. Gotta make sure I get a good swing in. Everyone's counting on me."
"Go captain! Fight fight!" I heard the support of my softball team behind me as I stepped up to the plate.
"Leave it to me! I'll send that ball packing straight to the sky!" I turn around and reassure them, giving my trademark thumbs up and smile. I go back into my thoughts knowing I looked as perfect as I could be to everyone.
"Okay, the usual. Like how Haru always said. Knees bent, knuckles lined up, arms ready..."
"Alright! Let's go! Give it your best shot!" I holler and signal at the batter, body ready and waiting.
"Here we go, the important part..." I stare at the pitchers hand, waiting patiently. "When you see the ball start to come towards you..." I lost my train of thought as I saw her arm move. Something came over me as I saw her go into an underhand swing. My mind blanked as I saw the ball dart towards me.
*CLANK* "... you shut up and let your body do the work for you. Good job Minori."
"Captain you did it! It's a homerun!"
"Way to go! We're in the lead now!" My heart started racing when I heard my team cheer for me. A smile slowly crept its way on my face. I couldn't hold down how ecstatic I was.
"Woohoo!" I celebrate and leap forward hurling my fist in the air. I started skipping my way to first base feeling on top of the world. There was nothing like making my team happy. I let the giddiness overcome me and start singing a dumb song while frolicking around the bases. It was as if everything in life was finally starting to go my way.
About a week and a half passed since I made up with Taiga. We ended up ditching the day and played board games at her house. It was surprisingly clean knowing that Taiga trashes her place whenever she gets the chance to. It was such a feeling to just sit down and hang out like we used to, drinking orange juice and making fun of each other, finding out if we would get married or not in the game of Life. I had a family of 3 and a nice beach house. Taiga ended up being alone and had to sell her car. I was laughing so much I almost choked on my drink. Afterward when I ended up with a happy family we both realized we left our stuff at school, and Taiga was giving me hell all the way back. We tried to sneak into class so we wouldn't get in trouble, but Yuri-sensei ended up waiting after school and gave us a huge lecture as only a teacher could. With both of us having our heads down low I had to say goodbye to her to make it in time to work. I didn't like having to do so, and neither did she. But I made a promise to her on the spot that I would work around my schedule as much as possible to make sure we could hang out like this again. And that promise led me to where I was now.
All this week I worked as hard as I could to try and make some time to talk to her. Monday was the last day we did anything and since then work and practice has kept me busy. The best I could do was to give her a late night phone call after work. But yesterday night on the phone I asked if she would come today to Jonny's where we could talk a little when I took her order. It wasn't really hanging out and I was still technically working, but it was the best I could do. I was happy that I would get some time with her later today. And on top of that I got a homerun at morning practice that put us in the lead. I hoped things could only go up from here as I finish turning the bases. My teammates welcomed with me with open arms.
"Kushieda you're amazing! Did you see how far that ball went? I can't believe how good you are!" I was swarmed by the girls, giving me praises from what seemed like every angle.
"Hey now hold on, hold on, I'm not that good you know. You're all making me sound like I'm something I'm not. I just got lucky that's all."
"That's not true Captain! You always do amazing every time you step to bat! I've never seen you mess up! Ever!"
I could feel some sweat start to form around my neck. "Oh c'mon you guys, you know that isn't tr-"
"And do you know how cool you looked when you were getting ready? It's like you're a totally different person! You're calm, serious, like nothing's going to get in your way! But after you get the job done you go back to being so happy! How do you do it?"
"U-Umm everyone I- err, that is, just-"
"Excuse me girls! Can I have a word with your captain for just a moment?" Everyone's eyes turned away from me and went off into the distance. After a slight pause my teammates backed away. I saw a member of the boys baseball team jogging towards me, gallantly waving his arm back and forth. It took a second to put the collected voice and what I saw together, but it must have been Kitamura coming towards me.
I take the opportunity and dash ahead. " I'll be back everyone! This'll only take a sec!" I turned around quickly to salute my team and then went on my way. Feeling a little uneasy inside, I think of a way to get a good vibe going once I start talking to him.
I sprint towards the outfield reaching Kitamura in no time. I lean forward with my hands on my knees, doing my best at pretending to be tired. "*pant*, oh wow, I guess I got to *pant*, got to stop eating those sweetrolls for dinner. Can't look this bad in front *pant*, in front of everyone." I exaggerate my breathing with my head aimed towards the ground.
"... You know Kushieda, I've always found it strange that you were bad with attention. I would have thought that you would be amazing with things like that." A shock ran through me as he said his words.
"... Ah... guess you saw right through me huh? So what gave me away?" I kept my head down, doing my best to sound like I was playing around.
"When I saw your team crowd around you like that I figured that you were uncomfortable. I guess I've known you long enough to understand that. Sure enough that's what it was."
"...Is that so... well thanks Kitamura-kun! You really got me out of a sticky spot there!" I put in a good amount of cheer into my voice as I got back up. I could see his stern face give way to a friendly smile. But his composure remained just as firm.
"But really though, I could see how nervous you were from out here. You should have just said that you wanted space if you weren't feeling comfortable. I'm sure everyone would have understood." I paused a bit to take in what he said to me. I hate how convincing he could sound sometimes.
"Well I guess, but all that the girls were really doing was congratulating me! It wouldn't have been right for me to just ruin their good cheer like that!"
"Kushieda, you don't have to-" Kitamura was interrupted when we both heard screaming off to the side.
"Hey, are you listening to me you stupid dog!?" I looked over by the fences to see Taiga furiously chasing down Takasu. "Come back here!" she shouted as she ran after him past the schoolyard. Takasu was ahead of her by a few meters desperately trying to not get caught, making some noises to tell her to stop. As I watched them get farther and farther I could feel a warm sensation starting to grow from my chest. It looked like the both of them would never stop.
"Well what do you know. I guess those two prove that you don't need to be in a club to get some exercise in." Kitamura gently said as we both watched them go by.
I could feel my smile widen as if it had a will of its own. "Yup. Your health does come first after all." I gently chimed in with Kitamura as we got lost in the moment. It was as if we both knew those two were made for each other. It made me so happy that Taiga was keeping the promise we made. She wouldn't be lonely without me anymore. And though she would never admit to it she liked to spend time with Ryuuji too. Everything seemed so right in the world, so perfect. I wanted to do anything so it could stay this way.
"Anyway Kushieda about the-" Kitamura spoke up but I cut him off quickly, trying to steer the conversation away from what we talked about a few moments ago.
"Hey Kitamura-kun, has there been any word from the coaches about our co-ed practice? I can't wait! Prepare yourself young disciple! For you now face the wrath of the girls softball team!" I gave a fist pump, then pointed swiftly at him to signal our inevitable war. Kitamura gave me a stunned look for a moment like he didn't know what to say. He then took a deep breath and sighed to himself, going into a calm expression.
"Yeah. It was why I called you over to come talk to me. They want us to come to talk about it right now since practice is over."
"Alright! Let me see my team off and I'll be right with ya! Don't you go running off without me either!" I turn around and wave bye to him as I get ready to run back to my team.
He brought up his arm and waved back, giving his gentle smile along with it. "I'll be waiting Kusheida."
"Roger!" I gave one last word to Kitamura and went into a full sprint. I was in high spirits; I was so high that I didn't think I could fall back down. My mind shot through the schedule of what I had to do today and stopped at seeing Taiga at Jonny's. I smirked to myself for a bit as my happiness overwhelmed me. I let my emotions go for just a moment and ran as fast as I could, feeling the wind race against my face. Everything was too perfect that I had to go and celebrate.
Time flew by as I went though my day carried by my giddiness. I was at home getting my things ready to head out for Jonny's. It was finally Friday and I had gotten through the week, but I don't think I had ever been this happy on a Friday, at least not for a very long time. I finish packing my uniform in my bag and go to the bathroom to check myself before I go. As my eyes caught sight of my mirror I noticed how goofy a smile I had on my face.
"Oh c'mon Minori, nobody's gonna see you when you're at home. You can stop acting like a little kid." I voice my thoughts to my reflection and give my face another wash. I splash a few rounds of water and with the final one I bring my head up to the mirror one more time. I wipe the the rest of the water off my eyes and take another look. Sure enough my smile was gone, and the Minori that stared back at me was just as serious as ever.
"Alright, back to norma-" Before I could even finish my thoughts my lips arched back into the happiest looking grin I had ever seen. It felt as if my brain had stopped as soon as I saw it happen.
"*chuckle*... *laughter*, *laughter*!" Without warning I started to crack-up on the spot. I was more than shocked by what was happening to me. I put my hands to my mouth in an attempt to try and stop myself. It took a while but I calmed down, feeling light headed from my sudden outburst. My eyes went back to the mirror and I saw the same ridiculous looking smile as before.
"*breathe in* *breathe out*. Whatever, I guess it doesn't matter. I guess I'm looking silly all day today." It was unsettling seeing myself like this, but I brushed off my thoughts and grabbed my bag, making my way to the front door. It wasn't like this was going to bother me. And as long as it didn't I was fine with being this way. I grab my condo door knob knowing I had a full grip over myself, even if I was stranger than normal.
The first hour or so at Jonny's was the usual. I made sure to keep an eye at the front entrance every time someone walked in. It would be easy to miss Taiga's small frame if I was busy waiting tables at the other side of the restaurant. But I was far from preoccupied on work. In fact it was the other way around. There was just so much I wanted to talk to her about, so much to catch up on. The idea that she could come through at any moment was getting me anxious.
Sure enough as I was making my way to the kitchen I saw the top of a girl's golden hair, separated by the wall that divides the dining tables from the reception hall. Excited I speed up towards the entrance thinking that I could surprise her when she gets seated by the greeter. Not willing to wait any longer I start to wave my hand in the air.
"He-" I didn't even finish my first word; I now noticed someone else by Taiga's side as I got closer to the entrance. I stayed by the dining area for a moment not wanting to interrupt what I saw.
"Hey Taiga, why are we eating out again? I don't see the point in this. Why couldn't we just have stayed home and ate dinner?." It was Takasu. Right next to Taiga. I felt a stinging pain inside of me as I saw him talk to her.
"Oh be quiet you stupid mutt. It's good to eat out every once in a while. And I said I was going to pay for you, didn't I?" She... she invited Takasu? Why did she... I thought it was just gonna be... but I thought... ! I snap back out of my trance, unsure what I looked like for the few moments I was daydreaming. I found myself looking down the main hallway as Taiga and Takasu were walking to the other side of the restaurant. They must not have noticed me, thank goodness. It looked like they were too caught up in the talk they were having to pay attention to anything else.
"Those two... I guess those two really are perfect for each other huh?..." I hush a sentence to myself to try and calm my thoughts. It was like my mind fell to pieces as soon as I saw Takasu. I shake my head and shun my thinking, heading back towards the kitchen. This wasn't the time to get lost in the clouds and be useless. Taiga's here and this is finally the chance I get to spend with her.
I get to the back counter and start to fill out a blank ticket. One premium vanilla and cherry sundae with extra whipped cream and sprinkles, Taiga's favorite. I would always get her one whenever she would drop by work last year. I told her I had connections to the cooks but in all honesty I had to pay out of my own pocket every time I did this. If she knew that she would probably stop asking for them. But I've done it for so long I guess she expects them out of me, and I've always loved to see the look on Taiga's face when I brought her one. She would always get so happy. And this was no doubt going to be the same. She'll start to dig in, then we'll start joking around, and then we'll start laughing and then I'll sit next to her- no I can't. ...Wait, what the-? It felt like my head just hit a roadblock. Why can't I sit next to her? We're going to have fun together like always and that's what I've been waiting for and I knew she's been waiting for this too and that's why she came so late at night with - ! ... with Takasu. Right. She's with Takasu.
I stared back at my written ticket for 1 sundae for 500 yen. I scribbled out the 1 and put a 2 right above it. Two vanilla sundaes for the both of them for 1000 yen. I ignored the burning in my chest and wrote up the ticket to order. I convinced myself, at least for the moment, that what I was feeling was just because I was paying double what I usually was. I didn't choose to believe the other dumb reason I thought of.
A few moments later and I was carrying the tray of desserts to the table Taiga and Takasu were sitting at. It looked like they still didn't know I was coming up to serve them somehow. I took the chance to try and surprise them both, especially Takasu since it was the first time he's seen me work here. I clogged up the horrible things my brain was telling me and prepared to go into the usual me. I knew I had to make a good impression.
"And here's a special delivery for the both of you!" I merrily said to the both of them as I put the sundaes down on the table. Taiga was looking at a menu still oblivious to me while Takasu had his head off to the side. I caught his attention though when I slid the sundae to him.
"Huh? But we haven't even order-" He brought up his head and looked in my direction. I think it took him a second before he fully realized it was me. "Whaa!?" His expression quickly fell to pieces. I chuckled softly a bit.
"Yup! Two doses of the super secret Taiga special with extra ice cream! Don't tell any of the other customers alright?" Takasu looked speechless. Taiga let down her menu and gave me a smile.
"Thanks for always hooking me up like this." I smiled back as she said her sincere words. She went back to look at what to order before I could even start to talk about something. A quick shock ran through my system and I just as quickly put it off. I turned my eyes to Takasu who was still looking at me, probably not believing that I worked here.
"Always hooking me up...?" He said as he stared past me, or maybe through me. I wasn't sure if he was talking to me or not; he did kind of have a habit of doing this when we talked the day Taiga and I ditched class. That face of his... it doesn't look happy. Is he bored?
In an instant his eyes lit up and we each caught each others' gazes. As soon as it happened I lost all sense of reality.
My thoughts took me to a place I didn't want to remember. "K-Kushieda-san? Are you okay? You're crying." !
My heart jumped more times than I could count in a flash of a second. My face was getting hotter and hotter. My knees were getting weaker. I started to lose it.
"? Hey Kushieda-san, are you alright?" Takasu's words were adding fuel to my horrible fire. I turned myself away from him and over towards Taiga while moving away from the table. I bit my bottom lip as hard as I could to try and force myself out of this.
"Minorin? Hey, what's the matter?" Taiga scooted a bit toward me from her seat and did her best to try and comfort me. Everything looked like it was going from bad to worse. Unable to bite my lip harder I started to clench up both my fists. I thought I was going to faint.
"K-Kushieda I'm sorry if I did something wron-" *THUUD * "*gasp*" I heard Takasu's voice getting closer behind me but it stopped, like he suddenly lost the ability to speak.
"Don't reach your hand out to her you moron! Can't you see how she's feeling right now!?" Taiga exclaimed directly at Takasu, and with my guess she must have kicked the air out of his lungs.
I went back into myself and searched for the plug, knowing the only thing I could do was try my best to shove it down deeper. "Stop it! Stop acting like this! Get a grip you idiot!" I did my best at consoling myself. "Taiga's here! You're supposed to be having fun with her! You're not supposed to have her feeling sorry for you!" I was going to fix myself either now or never. "Who cares if Takasu is here? Who cares if he saw you cry? Stop being a little girl about this! You're letting everyone down! You're going to let Takasu see you like this!? This is the impression you're going to give him!? No! He's Taiga's friend! Taiga cares about him! Don't treat him this way! Look at him! LOOK at him!"
"Hehehe, I'm sorry about that you guys. I just freaked out for some dumb reason. Just forget it ever happened." I turned around swiftly and brought my hand to the back of my head in humility. If I went and actually apologized they would have thought it was something serious.
"Are you sure it's alright? I can make him say he's sorry if it makes you feel any better." Taiga asked me gently, knowing I was still flustered.
"No no, don't do that. Takasu-kun didn't do anything wrong. I guess I just got a bit embarrassed." I turned to face Takasu directly. "Takasu-kun!"
"Y-yes?"
"I'm sorry for acting like that in front of you. I apologize." I bowed gently to show how sincere I was.
"N-no, it's fine, you don't have to apologize for anything. I just got a little worried about you that's all." Takasu looked away blushing. I smiled.
"Welp, nothing to worry about! I'm aaalllll good!" I gave him a goofy face and stuck my tongue out at him. Everything inside me still wanted to burst but it was nothing I couldn't handle. Finally we could move forward out of this. "But it sure was a surprise seeing you here! I thought it was just going to be me and Taiga tonight!"
"Yeah, to be honest it was a surprise to me as well. Taiga kept on saying that she wanted to eat out tonight so we came here I guess." He didn't make eye contact with me at all. It eased me knowing he was easier to talk to than I thought.
"Oh, so you got invited did you? Honestly, you two sure have gotten close to each other."
There was silence at the table for a while. The air was thick and uncomfortable between everyone. A couple of seconds later Taiga shot me a look saying that I was out of line for saying that. I caught on to how big of a mistake I just made.
"Ehehehehe... eh..." I laughed it off to try and bring the mood up but it stayed just as depressing as ever. I don't think there was a point where the both of them were really happy during this conversation. I got nervous, trying to think of something to cheer them up.
"Um, excuse me miss?" Another table went and called out to me, the table I was actually supposed to serve instead of Taiga's. I rushed over to them and said my goodbyes.
"Well enjoy your stay guys!" I waved bye to Taiga and Takasu, hoping the next time I see them I'll actually make them happy instead of bringing everyone down. I screwed up big time but I knew that I could turn it around a second time.
It was about 10 minutes after I got a text message from Taiga. "Hey sorry Minorin, but me and the dog had to leave. I'll give you a call after you're done working and we can talk then." I was trying to think of what I did that made the two of them leave, and there was a lot that came to mind. Whatever hopes I had for this day was gone with that text, if not sooner. I went through the rest of the night the usual way. The normal cheery Minori.
It was around 10pm at my condo now. I had made and ate dinner, took a shower, got undressed, then slowly slipped into bed waiting for Taiga's call. I had left some chores undone tonight being too antsy about talking to her. I thought it was rude not to wait for her phone call, and I would just get them done afterward. It wasn't a big deal putting it off.
I stared at the ceiling as time crawled forward. How slowly it seemed to pass was irritating. I drew my attention to the strain on my chest, and how painful it managed to get tonight. I dimmed my eyes, trying to let each thought go as leisurely as the seconds went by.
I quickly found myself back at Jonny's, with a view of Taiga and Takasu walking in together. The same stinging pain I had felt then was here now as well. In an instant everything flashed, and I saw myself outside the schoolyard. My hair was really short, like a boys, and I was walking by Taiga. This must have been last year. We were probably walking home after school together. My view zoomed in, and I could see the two of us and how happy we were talking with each other. I looked at how bright and cheery I was. This wasn't the same as the the way I fooled around now. The happiness in my eyes was, it was unreal. I reached my hand out to my younger self, not believing I could be like that. It was a second before I could touch her when I was blinded again with another flash. I drew my hand back and turned away, not ready for the change in lighting. I reached out my hand again and turned my head swiftly, as if on instinct I had to reach back to my old self. I stopped abruptly when I saw I wasn't reaching towards Minori. I was reaching towards Takasu. Right by Taiga's side at Jonny's. The both of them froze, then the people at the restaurant, then everything. Everything just stopped.
"... I'm jealous. Okay I get it, I'm jealous. Takasu-kun is by Taiga instead of me. That's why I'm feeling like this, right?" I spoke up, speaking to a still room. "I know... I know dang it! I already knew I was jealous! I don't like the idea of Takasu-kun being by Taiga! It hurts!" My voice rose gradually with every sentence. "But it doesn't matter! This is the right thing! Because you know what hurts more than this you idiot?! Taiga being alone!" I started to shout. "Taiga's my best friend! And there's no way I'm leaving her alone like the way I have for so long! At least this way she has a friend alongside her instead of no one!" I started screaming with everything I had. "You hear me!? This is the right thing! I don't care if I'm jealous! Taiga's happy!"
All of the lighting around me began to fade. The lights of Jonny's dimmed and people started to haze in and out. After a while it was completely dark, and I was left alone with only a view of Taiga and Takasu, frozen in time. "... I've dealt with worse than this. I know what the right thing to do is. It's to support the both of them together so the both of them can be friends and be happy. No one's going to be alone. Everything's going to be alright." I started walking to the both of them.
"I know it's not what I want, but its too late for that. Life isn't about what I want. It's about doing the right thing." I took a full look at Takasu. "If you're the one by Taiga's side instead of me, that's fine. If you're the one that makes her happy instead of me that's okay. It's the right thing to do. I'll support any friend of my best friend." I step back, leaving the two of them alone in the lighting of my mind. "So please... please just let the pain go away..." I let my head hang down. I accepted the situation I was in. I just waited for everything to vanish and the peace to flow in.
I waited for what seemed like forever. Nothing changed. The pain was still there. I looked back up. Taiga and Takasu were still together frozen, within the only lighting in my mind. I didn't know what I felt at this point, but whatever it was it began to grow, and grow violently.
"Why!? Why do I have to keep feeling this way!? I know for crud's sake! So why do you still have to be here! What do I have to do with any of this!?" I was frustrated. More than frustrated, so much that I don't think there's a word I could say that described it. I looked at the both of them happy and motionless, not knowing what else I could do. I looked back down in defeat and pity.
I felt a change in atmosphere in an instant; I lost the connection to my body. My eyes grew wide as I continued to stare at the ground. I saw the lighting move closer to me, but was unable to look at who it really was. My heart starts beating, then racing. The light stops, then, like a puppet, my head moves up to see who had come up to me. It didn't take me long to figure who it was. It was Takasu.
My head continues to move up and stops at his face. Our eyes then meet each other and I gaze directly into his. I see a reflection in them. A crying, torn up Minori. My eyes dialate. A flood of thoughts so unbearable rush into me. I stood there staring into his eyes, unable to do anything else. Sounds ring back and forth in my ears. Two words ring the most in them.
You're crying.
I wanted to scream. I tried to, but my mouth wouldn't move. I was trapped looking into my own terrible reflection. More sounds gush in, from laughter, to more crying, to beeping. Then constant beeping. If I had control of my legs I would have fell over. I force my eyes shut out of sheer will. Never had I been in a nightmare so horrible. I started to hold everything back so that a part of me could survive this. All I could hear was beeping now. This painful beeping. And as much as I forced it, my eyes slowly dimmed back open, as if I was forced to. I gazed back into Takasu's eyes. I screamed a deaf scream.
"AAAAAAHHH!" I sit up fully right, nearly jumping out of my bed in the process. I stare blankly ahead of me, putting my hands to my thrashing heart. It's over. It's finally over. I breathe a sigh of relief.
*BEEEEP* *BEEEEP*
"...eh?"
*BEEEEP* *BEEEEP*
The beeping. The beeping from my dream is still ther- no, don't be stupid. I put my hands to my face to make sense of this all. Just what the heck is...
*BEEEEP* *BEEEEP*
"...EEHHH!? Taiga!" I rushed over to my cellphone as fast as humanly possible. Sure enough it was her. I answered as soon as I could.
"Hello!? Taiga I'm sorry I didn't answer sooner what time is it I-"
"Minorin slow down slow down, just what the heck is up with you? I've been trying to get a hold of you for a while. Were you asleep?"
"Y-yeah... I guess I was... sorry 'bout that." I answered back shamefully.
"*sigh*, I guess I did call you kind of late. It's after midnight but I figured you would still be up. I tried calling like 4 or 5 times before, I was going to stop if you didn't answer this last one."
"It's midnight?" I took a look at my alarm clock. It read 12:22am. Wow, it really is late. "Why'd you call so late Taiga? You'd usually be asleep around this time too."
"The mutt was going to cook me some food after we came back from Jonny's and he did, but his rice cooker was broken. I made him go buy another one at a store that was open and I had dinner. I came back home and it was already midnight. *yawn*" It sounded like Taiga sure was tired.
"Is that so... hold on, why didn't you stay to eat at Jonny's? I thought we were going to talk some more."
There was silence on the other end. "Sorry Minorin, but all I can really say is that we couldn't stay and eat there. I have to keep this a secret. You know the stuff that you can't tell me either? Just have faith in me too." Taiga answered back calmly, with no hesitation.
"You didn't even stay just to talk a little? You just-"
"Like I said, I'm sorry. Just have a little faith." Taiga was persistent. She wasn't going to tell me anything else.
"...okay." I agreed just as timidly.
"So did the dumb dog do something to you? I tried to get out of him as much information as I could but he didn't tell me anything." Taiga had a lot more energy all of a sudden. It was clear that she was waiting to talk about this.
"What? No, Takasu-kun didn't do anything to me at all."
"Minorin. I know something happened between the two of you. You guys just met and you've never acted that way around him before, or around anyone else. Ever. It looked like you were going to break down and cry."
"I wasn't going to cry! *gasp!*" I rose my voice and yelled at her.
"..."
"Taiga no I didn't mean that I-"
"I get it, I get it. You didn't mean it at me. But I know for sure something is up between you two. Did he really not do anything?" She asked me like this was going to be my last chance to speak up.
"... No, he hasn't done anything to me. We only just met a few weeks ago after all." I spoke solemnly.
"Okay. Well is there anything you want to talk about? Are you bothered by anything? You feel alright?" Taiga asked sincerely.
The feels in my gut start to make their way up, along with every other painful memory associated with them. Jealousy, crying, loneliness. I chocked them up quickly before I even thought to talk about them. It wasn't the right thing to do.
"Yup! I feel fantastic! Not a care in the world!" I made sure I was happy as possible. I must have been a real downer talking to her like that.
"You know Minorin?"
"Yeah? What's up?"
"We've been really keeping a lot of secrets from each other, haven't we?"
My body shook on instinct. It took me a while though to fully understand what she said. We were keeping secrets from each other. "Yeah... yeah I guess you're right."
"... *breathe in* *breathe out*. Good, I thought I was the only one who felt that for a moment. Well I'm going to go back bed. I'm getting kind of tired." Taiga sounded swift, like she was intent on cutting us off right there.
"Wait, but don't you want to talk a little right now while we're still awake? We can-"
"It's past midnight. I'm tired. We can talk next week at school right?"
"... right." I must have sounded so desperate to her.
"Great. Well, have a goodnight Minorin. I'll see you next week." Taiga gave me a cheerful goodbye, I did my best to do the same.
"You too. Take care Taiga!" She was the first one to hang up her dial tone. I dropped my cellphone besides me, trying to take in whatever I was feeling. I came to the quick conclusion that I should be doing something besides feeling sorry for myself. I went to the bathroom to clean myself up, keeping in mind what I had to do tomorrow.
I walked up to the faucet and brought some hands of cold water to my face. I held the edges of the sink and let my eyes hang down, looking straight down into the drain. Slowly I breathed in and slowly I breathed out. I pretended to let every thought pass through the water and drip right into the sink hole. It didn't work, as much as I had hoped it would. I pass more splashes of water, letting the frigidness of it numb me down. After about 10 more times or so I dried my face, and took a look at the mirror before going back to bed.
I looked serious. As serious as I ever could be. The usual me I guess. I brought my lips to a goofy smile like how I usually do in front of everyone. It dropped just as quick as put it up. I thought back to before I left my place for work. I chuckled.
"Back to normal... right Minori?" I said to my reflection on the mirror. I turned the lights off and went back into bed, knowing I had to wake up early for a starting shift with Inage-san. I debated in my mind to whether still clean my condo but knew I had to save my energy for tomorrow. I would have to wake up by 5, be there by 6, and work all day. Nothing I couldn't handle. I set my alarm clock, dimmed my eyes, and prepared for another day.
It was about 9am at Inage's Liquor. I had cleaned the store and done some inventory for a while, but Inage-san put me to work washing the store windows since nobody was really around yet. He told me that if I were to see someone pass the store to advertise to them as much as possible. I just couldn't imagine anyone walking around these parts this early in the weekend, especially during the holidays. Nonetheless I kept at it, putting in as much elbow grease as I could scrubbing windows.
My thoughts went back and forth all the time I was working and I continually battered them down, using any work I had to do to do it. After spending a few hours or so dwelling on it I narrowed it down to where I wished I had a second chance with Taiga and Takasu. A chance to make things right and see them both have fun, not like how it ended up at Jonny's. That entire thing was more my fault for the way I acted, so I have to be the one makes it better. But I couldn't do that, at least not for a while. Not until I see them again. I pushed forward and translated my thoughts into energy, wiping the windows furiously.
A few minutes later I heard Inage-san talking with some people at the other store window. He would always check up on me every half an hour or so; he must have saw some people he knew while doing it. It wasn't until he started jovially laughing that I looked in his direction. Just what the heck was he laughing at? I couldn't believe my eyes.
Inage-san was right there laughing with his face held high, and Taiga and Takasu were there with him. Taiga and Takasu are here. They're actually here.
Alright. This is my second chance. Don't screw this up Minori.