The last day of the battle, Molly came across John alone in the soldier's tent. He sat mutely on one of the cots, staring blankly ahead, dull terror in his eyes.
She paused, not sure whether to approach or not. "John?" she asked uncertainly.
He didn't look at her as he asked softly, "I'm not your brother, am I?"
The companion blinked in surprise at the question. He sighed, total resignation in the slump of his shoulders. "That watch, when I touched it... I could hear him. The Doctor. I could feel him there, in my head. I didn't want to admit it, but I felt him. Everything I know is a lie. I'm a lie, to you. I'm not your brother."
Molly felt a rush of sympathy for the miserable man. She slowly approached him, sitting on the cot across from him. Grabbing both of his hands, she told him gently, "I'm not your sister, no. But I am your friend. That's real, John. You and me, that's real. And... I like thinking of you as a brother," she admitted. She wondered how the Doctor would view that statement when he regained his memory. "That wasn't fake. That was you, John. That's just how you are."
He gave a small smile at this, but didn't seem entirely comforted. Quietly, in a lightly trembling tone, he admitted, "When he was there, I felt memories. Horrible memories. Pain and guilt, and loss, a great, deep loss." His fearful voice pleaded for an explanation, for some way to understand the horror he'd witnessed.
Molly felt a rush of guilt. "The Time War," she realized aloud. "You must be remembering the Time War." She wondered guiltily for a minute if it was really right of her to ask him to return to the old pain of that life. Was the Doctor's suffering worth remembering?
John looked at her warily. "You mentioned the Time War before," he remembered. "What is it?"
Molly hesitated, but it was his life. He had a right to know. Softly, she began the same explanation the man had once given her. "The Time War was the last great war between your species, the Time Lords, and a race called the Daleks." As delicately as she could, she explained the war, and his part in it.
John's eyes widened in horror as she finished her tale. "I... I killed all of them?"
Molly hated how horrified he looked, the horrible, familiar look of self-loathing creeping back into his expression. "To save the universe," she reminded him firmly. "You saved everybody, John, you've saved them so many times."
John just shook his head, horror evident in every line in his face. "An entire race..." He looked up at Molly, a wild light in his eyes. "How does he stand it?" he demanded. "That guilt. How doesn't he die of it?"
Molly smiled slightly as she remembered all of the Doctor's happiest moments, all the times he'd had that happy, goofy grin on his face. "Friends," she answered simply. "New places. You wouldn't believe some of the beautiful places we've visited together. You seem to find joy in the simplest of things. But mostly from the people we meet, and all the little reminders of the general goodness of people. I know that might seem empty, but it's true. At times it seems like the goodness of humanity, all the little things people do to prove it, are what keep him going."
Hope lit up in his eyes for a minute, only to be replaced by the same fear. Molly thought she knew where it came from. Gently, she grasped both his hands, forcing him to look into her eyes. "John, I know you think that becoming the Doctor means being erased, but it's not. You arethe Doctor, the same man with different memories. I know him, and I know you, and I can promise you you're the exact same person. Opening that watch'll just be like getting your memories back. You won't be erased, you'll just remember who you are."
John looked like he wanted to believe in, but in the end he shook his head. "I don't think I can do it, Molly. I can't live with that much pain. I don't want to remember, not if that's the cost. We've got a good life, don't we Molly? Can't we just go back to that?"
Molly hesitated. On the one hand, she really, really didn't want to live in the misogynistic technologically-challenged Victorian America for the rest of her life. On the other, she'd never force John to return to those memories. "If you want," she finally said softly.
This assurance didn't seem to help John at all. He just looked more confused and conflicted than ever.
SCENEBREAK
The next day, on May 4th, 1865, John and Molly headed out into the ruined city of Richmond, scorched and wrecked by the devastating Confederate fires. They were going to wait out the few days left in the war, then head home. After that, Molly had no idea.
As they strolled among the ruins, Molly was the first to see the tall figure in the distance. She peered through the morning fog, trying to get a closer look, only to freeze in surprise as the man grew closer. "No way," she breathed.
John had seen him too. His eyes widened as he recognized the figure. "Is that...?"
"Yeah. I think it is."
As the figure came up to them, Molly marveled at how much he looked like his portraits. The same old, wizened face, the slightly knowing the smile, the kindly crinkled eyes. He was tall, too, taller than even John.
Molly drew herself into the curtsey she'd become familiar with in the Victorian era, for the first time feeling it completely deserved. "Mr. President," she greeted.
American President Abraham Lincoln looked surprised for a moment, but then his expression softened into a smile. "Well now. I come to Richmond looking to view a captured city, and instead I have the pleasure of meeting a very old friend." He reached out a hand towards John, who shook it bemusedly. "It's been a long time, Doctor."
Molly and John shared a surprised glance. "You know the Doctor?" she asked.
Lincoln nodded, chuckling. "He paid a rather unorthodox visit to Washington at the beginning of my political career. Since then, he seems to enjoy popping up every so often between decades, always looking the same while I grow ever more old and wrinkled. It's been a time since I saw him, beginning of my first term I believe." His amused gaze grew thoughtful as he looked at John. "However, it would seem that he, for once, is the one who doesn't know me. Is this another one of the side effects of your ingenious time travel?"
Molly was surprised at how much the president knew about the Doctor's true identity, but she figured it meant she could trust him. She quickly explained John's situation, and her part in it. President Lincoln looked at her with respect, giving a slight incline of his head. "Well, that's a pretty mess you've landed yourself in there. Might I say, ma'am, you're very brave to have taken the task you did."
Molly was a little taken aback by the compliment, but she accepted it with a curtsey and a simple, "Thank you, Mr. President."
Lincoln then turned back to John, who had slipped back into that blank look of fear. His voice became soft as he asked, "Are you planning on getting your memories back?"
John looked uncertain. "I... I don't know." He looked imploringly at the president, admiration clear in his expression, and desperation. "What sort of man did the Doctor seem like to you? How could... how could a man who's done what he has ever be a good man?"
The president smile became one of understanding. He leaned back thoughtfully, somehow seeming even taller. Finally, he began casually, "I remember the first time I met you. I was a young man then, and foolish. I didn't know the ways of the world. I remember when you told me you were hundreds and hundreds of years old, I just couldn't believe it. You looked young, you see, but more than that, you acted young, sometimes playful way below your years. Old men always seemed solemn as the hills to me. I asked how it could possibly be that you were as old as you say and seem as young as you did."
John seemed to be hanging on Lincoln's words. "And? What did I say?"
Lincoln smiled fondly. "Oh, you said something witty and meaningless, as usual. But I figured it out myself. It was hope, Mr. Smith. Hope for goodness to prevail, hope for a better world, hope for all the wonders in the world. Through hope you found your joy. I've never seen eyes as old as yours before, but I've also never seen a man with so much hope and faith before. Now I'm an old man too. Now I feel weariness and pain. And I do believe I would do a lot for the hope I've seen in your eyes."
John looked down at the ground, a thousand different emotions flitting across his face. Lincoln seemed to take this as his cue to leave. "I can't tell you what to do, Doctor. I can only tell you what I think." He dipped his head one more time to both of them. "Molly Hooper, you're always welcome in Washington, if the occasion ever arises." After a flustered Molly thanked him, he took his leave, heading off into the ruins of the city.
They stood there in silence for a long time. Molly wasn't sure what John was thinking, but she had a feeling Lincoln's words had had an impact on him. Her heart ached for him and the agonizing choice he was facing, but nothing she could say would make it any better.
Finally, he silently held out a hand, palm up. Molly understood without being asked. Without a word she handed him the fob watch. The human John Smith gave his little sister one last, desperate look, then headed off into the ruins. Molly understood immediately that she wasn't to follow him. John wanted to be alone when the memories came, when he was forced to recover who he was.
After what she was asking him to do, she owed him at least that.
SCENEBREAK
After several minutes, the man who looked like John approached Molly, but there was a familiar, old look in his eyes. She smiled, both sad and relieved that her friend had remembered who he was. "Doctor," she greeted.
The Time Lord gave her the familiar grin, but there was more sadness in it now. "Hello Molly," he said with a warm smile.
They stared at each other for a few moments, then the Doctor came to pull Molly into a tight hug, which she returned eagerly. He'd been there the whole time, true, but it still felt good to have the whole and complete Doctor back.
As he pulled back, Molly couldn't help but grin at her friend. "Back to the TARDIS then?"
"Same old life," the Doctor agreed cheerfully.
"Good. I never want to wear a dress again." She and the Doctor linked arms, then started off through the ruins, back towards the camp where the horse they had to return waited. "You have no idea how many 21st century perks I've missed."
The Doctor chucked. "Still, you did pretty well for yourself, looking out for clueless old me." He sobered slightly, the old sadness flashing in his eyes again. "Thanks. For stopping me, and knowing it was me. You were right, it was just remembering, not changing."
She was glad to hear she'd been right, but there was still something far too sad about the Time Lord. "It wasn't your fault," she told him firmly. "You didn't know. About war, I mean. You couldn't remember."
The Doctor shot her a slight, grateful smile, but didn't reply. Molly waited a few minutes, then decided to break the silence. "So, you've met Abraham Lincoln then?"
He chuckled. "Yeah, been a bit though." The Time Lord's expression turned sad as he contemplated the president. "May 4th today. In five days, the south will surrender, and the war will be over. And five days after that, Lincoln will be shot and killed at the threatre by John Wilkes Booth."
Molly blinked in shock. "He's going to die in ten days?" She felt a pang of grief for the great man. "I knew he was assassinated, but I didn't realize it was so soon after the war. Why was he killed?"
"Because Booth was a Confederate supporter, and a supporter of slavery. The war was over, but he still wanted things to go back to the way they were."
The pathologist sighed sadly. "There's always going to be people like that, isn't there?"
The Doctor shrugged. "Well, yeah, but there's also always going to be men like Lincoln. People willing to give up their last breath to make the world better. The human race is an amazing thing." He shot Molly a grateful glance that clearly said, Thanks for reminding me.
She smiled back. Arm in arm, the two friends started off, reunited once again.
Here's another chapter for you today. A short one, mind, but I'll make up for it later with an extra-long interlude.
As promised, I'll discuss the interlude. It'll cover parts of Scandal of Bohemia, the few that Molly is in. After that, I'm not telling, but I will say that I'm not doing Blink, since it's from Sally's POV anyway.
EDIT: Again, I want to address what's factual here. I did not make up Lincoln's appearance at Richmond. He came to tour the captured Capitol a day after the battle, greeting many of the freed slaves who'd fought in the battle. I didn't have them in here only because I didn't need people hearing the odd conversation between Lincoln and the Doctor.
As for *why* I chose a battle that included Lincoln... well actually, that's why I did the whole Civil War thing in the first place. I'd recently seen the movie Lincoln when I came up with the idea, so I really wanted to try writing that character. I'm pretty happy with how he came out.