AN: Lord . . . Gettin' very mixed reviews about how people want Bella and Edward to react to one another. All well, can't please 'em all . . . When the time comes.

Twelve

The rest of the school week passed by excruciatingly slow.

Emmetts mate, Rose, came back to school on Thursday and as soon as I saw them together I laughed right in my own face.

Nope, definitely no romantic feelings for the large vamp.

Rose is without a doubt one of the most beautiful people I have ever seen in real life. Her long blonde hair looks like satin falling down her back and she has the most incredible figure.

I'm no slouch, but I'm sure as hell not her.

But it's not her beauty that . . . I don't know, convinced me I never felt love or lust or whatever for Emmett — it was seeing them together.

I thought Jasper and Alice were close, I hadn't seen anything yet, not until I walked into the cafeteria and saw the beautiful blonde sitting on her mates lap, being fed her lunch.

I observed them and thought to myself . . . Do I want that with Emmett? Am I jealous towards that beautiful woman for having him? Could I picture myself with him like that?

And the answer to all of the above was an indisputable no. No, I didn't feel jealous, I watched them and felt happy. Thinking back to when I conversed with Emmett it felt more sibling-ly than anything. And him wreaking havoc on Newtons property was just him probably acting out of boredom or maybe a dare.

Nope, as far as feelings go, I felt nothing like what I witnessed between the vamp and his mate.

Although saying I'm not jealous probably isn't completely just. I mean . . . What an amazing experience it must be to be so devoted and in love.

Of course other humans, not mated to vamps, can be deeply and maybe even irrevocably in love, but I'm positive we have nothing as soul consuming as what a vampire and a few lucky humans can have.

I usually don't think much about finding love, I just assume it'll happen someday, maybe in college, that is the most popular time right? And when I do, it'll be fine and maybe it'll last or maybe I'll have many loves. Either way, everything will work out the way it needs to.

And I've always been content with that thought. But now, for some alien reason, while I watch the Cullens, it tears at my heart. I'll never love and be loved that much. But I also look at them and I'm happy they do.

And as happy as my realization made me, not being in love with Emmett, unfortunately I'm not the only one who noticed the attention he paid me.

"Oh my gawd! Bella, what were you and Emmett Cullen doing after school in the parking lot? You were like hanging on him!" Jessica had hissed at me as soon as I walked into trig on Wednesday.

"He was just helping me get to my truck; saw I was having trouble and didn't want me to fall, that's all."

She wasn't convinced.

"Omg, Be-e-ella, what do you mean that's all? That can't be all, the Cullens don't care about anyone, why would he help you if that was all?"

Good fucking question. Even if the way she said it made me want to punch her.

"I don't know what to tell you, Jessica, he was just being nice."

She didn't bring it up again, but if the looks I've been getting around campus we're any indication I guess I'm the only one she hadn't been talking about it with.

None of the Cullens spoke to me again, though. I kept parking by them, even though it's completely inconvenient, but they either didn't enter and exit the lot at the same time as me or just ignored me. I kept urging myself to start the conversation, but by the way they wouldn't even make eye contact with me, I knew I wasn't welcome.

Well, that's not completely true, Rose looked at me once with the iciest blue eyes I have ever seen. At first I thought she was glaring at me but now that I think about it, I believe she looked worried. I just don't understand why. Another mystery.

It shouldn't, but their cold shoulder hurt.

It's now Saturday and I'm sitting on a rickety old fishing boat with Pops. He has spent the whole time drinking and catching fish while I've been sulking and staring at an undisturbed line.

"What's got your panties in a knot?" Charlie asks after a hardy burp.

"Besides the fact I've caught nothing while I've had to watch you become besties with every inhabitant of the lake? Nothing."

There's no way I'm telling dad about my obsession with the Cullens. He'd have me locked up for stalking — or worse committed for delusions.

"Come on, Bella, you can talk to me, I'm not Renee."

Well . . . That's true. I without a doubt couldn't have told her . . . but Charlie might be able to help me. . .

Or he knows exactly what to say to manipulate me into talkin'. . . 'I'm not Renee.' The man is a cop, and after all he's learned to get resisting perps how to talk, he's sly like a fox. Definitely a manipulation.

But at the same time I do want to talk about it . . .

More than that I need to be set straight, even if it is embarrassing. I need a kick in the pants and a good dose of reality. Pops can assist with that.

"I — I can't get the Cullens out of my head. Don't ask me why, 'cause I don't know, but I feel so drawn to them."

"Why?"

Goddammit.

"You're not funny, dad!" I shout, throwing one of the smaller fishes he caught at him.

"Alright, alright, you little tight ass, give me some details, what has you attracted to them?"

I thought hard about his question for a couple of minutes, trying to sift through the stalkerish stuff for the mostly benign behavior.

And coming up short, everything I've been thinking this last week is too embarrassing.

"I'm not sure actually, I just feel . . . Oddly connected to them."

Charlie nods and scratches his mustache — then scrunches his nose, probably getting fish stink stuck in the short hairs, and wipes the hem of his flannel shirt under his nose.

"Doofus." I chuckle, shaking my head and my reel.

"Shut up or I won't help you."

I mime zipping my lips, careful not to get too close to them. It ain't tasty unless it's cooked

"Did you see when Carlisle was on tv the other day?"

Shocked, I shake my head.

"Oh, crap, yeah that's right you don't have a tv in your room and were still unpacking when it aired." He backtracked.

"Anyway, he was the key note speaker at some lecture, or somethin' like that, talkin' about Supernaturals. There were other folks too, other Supernaturals, and they were answerin' questions about their species."

"Well, one woman came up askin' why humans are so attracted to Vamps? Even the bigots, not that they'd ever admit it, like being near 'em. And Dr. Cullen said that while they don't prey on other species now, they think they once did and the attraction they can hold over humans is a left over evolutionary response, in the Vamps favor."

I just stare at him.

"So you see, you big lunker, it's . . . Uh, I guess, natural to be attracted to their presence. They practically got a gravitational pull, pulling us all in. And I'll admit . . . I like being around them too. Well . . . Maybe not Edward, but Carlisle is good folk."

I stayed silent, glaring at my ice cold fingers clutching my reel, and mull over everything Charlie said.

On one hand it's nice to know I'm not the only one drawn to the Cullens. If Charlie admitted to it as well, then in his mind he must think it's truly natural and therefore won't judge me.

But on the other . . . I've never overtly cared about being around vampires before. Never felt the overwhelming need to talk to them, never came across a single vampire, let alone a family of them and their mates, that dominated my thoughts day and night.

Never been giddy at their attention paid to me and never felt betrayed when it was taken away.

Not to say I haven't been around them, I've gone to school with countless vamps, conversed with many of them countless times, I even had a vamp friend once, Benjamin, in the second grade. He and his coven came from Egypt and the other kids, vamps included, bullied him. I also wasn't the coolest kid on the playground so we took solace in one another.

He moved away, back to Africa, a year later and it broke my heart.

But even that friendship couldn't possibly compare to this.

I didn't tell my dad any of this, though. I can tell by his smile he thinks he's helped me through my dilemma and I'm honestly fine with that, I don't want to talk about it anymore, anyways. Just catch fish.

So I smile back and pluck a soda from the small ice chest.

"I ever tell you about the time I picked up a venom junkie while I was pretending to be a vamp?"

This time when I smile its genuine.

And disgusted — but real all the same.

AN: Super short chapter, I know sorry, but the wait has almost come to an end. . .

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