Part 10

You didn't hear from Jensen at all that weekend. Not that you really expected to. Rose and all the kids had started school so schedules were packed. A whole week had past and you still hadn't heard from Jensen at all. You had heard from Gen and heard that things were getting better between him and Daneel last she heard so you kept your distance.

*Hey fire cracker. We haven't had the lids together for a bit. BBQ at our house this Saturday. Bring your swimsuits it's supposed to be hot.*

You were glad to be able to schedule something with everyone. You had made some new mommy friends at the PTA meeting you went to, but none of them were as fun to you.

*Sounds great :) What time?*

*See you at 2 :D*

Saturday came before you knew it and you ladies made your way to the Padalecki's home.

"Hey!" Jared greeted you at the door.

You gave hima big hug surprised he was home.

"Hey stranger. Long time no see. I didn't think you'd have time to be home for another week or two."

"That was the plan, but we got ahead of schedule filming so I couldn't wait to get home."

"I don't blame you."

"Come on, the boys and Gen are in the pool already working up an appetite."

You shimmied out of your clothes in the downstairs bathroom before heading out to the pool. You started to walk out making sure the door shut behind you, you turned right into someone, bouncing off of them and almost falling before this someone caught you.

You looked up to see it was Jensen. You didn't know what to say. You hadn't heard from him in over a week and now here he was staring at you while you're in a bikini.

He cleared his throat as he helped you back upright.

"I'm sorry...I wasn't watching where I was going." You finally managed to find your voice and felt very exposed on front of him at the moment as you wrapped your towel around you.

"No. It's my fault. I wasn't looking either really. I uh...I saw Rose out there, but not you and was curious if you were here and well...here you are."

"Yep...here I am..."

Things had never been this awkward between the two of you so you had no idea why it was now.

"I'm sorry..." he said.

You looked at him with an expression asking him to go on.

"I'm sorry I haven't contacted you in awhile...I've just...I've been busy filming and spending time with Daneel and-"

"Jensen. Stop. You have nothing to apologize for. We're friends. Friends don't have to talk ALL the time. It's not like we were dating or anything and you should be focused on those things more than worrying about me."

He could hear the slight tone of hurt in your voice, but you weren't going to tell him how much it hurt to have someone SEEM to care so much about you one minute to then dump you like an old shoe the next.

"Y/n...I do worry though. You're my friend and you have a lot going on too and I have been worried...it's just-"

"Daneel doesn't like it. I get it."

"How did you...?"

"I'm not an idiot Jensen. She always looked at me as if she wanted me to drop dead and probably thought there was more going on. I'm fine...really. I get it. And I'M the one who told you to TRY to fix things and if it means cutting ties, then so be it. Am I happy about it? No, but it's not my marriage on the line and that should come first...look...I'd really rather not talk about it anymore and enjoy getting to hang out with my friends ok? I know I might sound mad, but I'm really not..."

You hoped he would just drop it and maybe SOMETIME you guys could be close friends again, but you weren't about to hold your breath on it.

The rest of the BBQ went well. You enjoyed yourself no matter how envious you sometimes felt seeing Jensen and Daneel happier than the last time you saw them. You were envious that they were trying to make things work TOGETHER. Not one sided and you were starting to wish things had turned out differently for you and Eric. You were even starting to think that if they could make it work, maybe you and Eric could too...

"Hey...you ok?" Jared had seen you off to yourself in your little world while the kids played inside and the others were lounging around.

"Yeah...I'm fine...just a lot on my mind."

"You know...you can talk to me too...I'm actually a really good listener..." He looked at you urging you to spill to him.

You did and you didn't want to. You would be talking to him about two of his best friends and how jealous you were of their relationship seeming to come back together while yours fell apart and that you were concerned your crush on Jensen was getting in the way of wanting them to be happy.

You let out a sigh, "I'm not sure you're one I should be talking to..."

"Try me?"

You got the feeling he wasn't going to let up until you spilled, so... "I'm hating myself because I'm jealous of a friend of mine that I care about getting what I wanted."

"Care to elaborate, I'm a little lost y/n."

You couldn't tell if he was just playing dumb or if you really were too vague for him to understand.

"I'm...I'm jealous that Jensen and Daneel are starting to make things work and I feel utterly horrible for it. He's a good friend and I want him to be happy and I really DO want things to work out for them, but...why couldn't things have worked out that way for me?" You started to have tears sting your eyes and your throat started to get swollen from trying to choke them back.

"Hey...it's ok. It's ok to be jealous of something like that. But what if things HAD worked out? None of us would have ever met and I know that I wouldn't trade that for anything. You and Rose are amazing and deserve to be treated as such. Trust me, you will be when the right person comes along."

"I'm 30 Jared...who is going to want me? I'm 'damaged goods' as far as anyone is concerned."

"Shut up. That's not true. If anyone's damaged it's Eric. You're smart, funny, beautiful, and you're independent and strong. The RIGHT guy will see that and be blown away. I promise."

You wiped the tears welling out of your eyes away as you took a deep breath. Jared wrapped you in a hug.

"You and Rose deserve nothing but the best. You'll find it, I'm sure of it."

"Thanks Jared."

"You gonna come back inside?"

"Yeah...just let me gather myself and clean up and I'll be right back inside."

He walked back in through the kitchen to be met by Jensen inside.

"She ok?" Jensen asked.

"She'll be fine...don't worry." He looked at him as if warning him.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Jensen asked.

"You know why. It might hurt you both for a little bit, but you need to keep your distance if you really want to fix things with Daneel."

"I know...but why shouldn't I be able to be friends with y/n at all? ESPECIALLY when she's hurting?"

"Look, we all care for y/n, but you need to worry about you and yours. She's not alone. She still has me and Gen and her family and other friends. I think she can fend without you for a little while."

"But what if Daneel is never ok with us being friends?"

"I don't think that will be the case. She just feels threatened, but once you show there's nothing to be threatened about, she'll get over it."

"I don't know man. I don't want to be dictated like that. That's not what a marriage should be like."

"Y/n told you to do whatever it took to fix it, right?"

"Yeah..."

"Then she understands...Look, she's upset with herself for being jealous of you and Daneel working things out when here and Eric couldn't, alright?"

"She's not going to go back to him, is she?"

"That's her choice, but no. I don't think so. You have enough to worry about right now."

You ended their conversation as you came in to get a bottle of water. You could feel the awkward tension in the air so you got in and got out as fast as you could. You couldn't help but feel a little more relieved at hearing how worried Jensen was about you, but decided not to dwell on it all things considered.