Shoutouts: First of all, to two guest by the names of Clace and BrunetteAngel – yes it was indeed a HSM reference. HSM is probably one of my favorite fandoms. There was another subtle PJO reference in chp 18, anyone see it? Again, thankyou to BrunetteAnel for pointing out that I was neglecting my duty of care (does that even make sense in this context?)

BrunetteAngel : FangirlForLifeDisorder : Guest : monkeygirl1425 : : Guest x3 : Darkgoldenangle : Wall-flower1999 : cbeautyluvsfsh48 : Poppypetals295 : BrunetteAngel : CloeClaire : oesteffel : Clace : Razeroo : .22 : LOVERGIRL : AngleWithAShotGun : lostinthestoryforever : Untilsoon3459 : Clockwork1278 : Someone : PotterFrayEverdeenChicken : Guest : blossom146 : shauna : Guest : (Sorry if I missed anyone or misspelt your name, love you all)

Please enjoy x

Disclaimer : I own noting you recognise

"Jace, are you busy?"

Jace squinted, one eye barely open as he contemplated the door. He wanted to sleep, but he couldn't just ignore Mayrse he supposed.

"No, come in." With a groan he pulled himself of his bed and located a shirt. Mayrse carefully opened the door and stepped into his room, glancing around in confusion.

"Jace, did you want any…homewares?"

Jace pulled his shirt over his head and glanced around. "Nah, its fine."

"Are you-" she shook her head. "No, never mind. Can I talk to you?"

Jace rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh, yeah. I guess." Mayrse leaned against the door and looked at Jace. "Did you want to sit down?"

She smiled curtly and perched herself on the edge of Jace's bed, while he sprawled across the middle.

"So, Alec said you made the football team."

"Yeah, last week."
"How's that going?"

"It's good. Same as football at every other school."
Mayrse smiled fondly. "I suppose you're right. Who is captain?"
"Jon."
"Jon as in Clary's brother?"

"Yep."
"Are you friends with him?"
"Yeah, we're friends."
"And how does he feel about you and Clary dating?"

"I don't know. He hated it but we're not actually dating so it's ok."

"Why aren't you dating?"

"We never were. It was fake, a long irrelevant story."
"Did it end on good terms?"

"Yeah, well there was nothing to end, not really."

"But she meant more to you than any other girls in the past."
"Well, yeah of course she did." Jace replied exasperatedly.

"I'm just concerned that you may ruin a relationship you don't want to ruin honey."
"Well, that's offensive."

"Jace, come on. Though we've never talked to you about your, dating habits," Mayrse swallowed thickly, "we're not completely oblivious. How many of those girls you've been with have you actually ended on good terms with?"
"Clary's different."

"Maybe she is. But you're not. You've only ever treated girls a certain way, why would you treat her differently?"

"You know why. I wasn't kidding when I said she was the girl from that...place."

Mayrse went silent. Jace lay there silently, wondering if he should be elaborating.

"Did you ever find out why you were taken Jace?"

Jace flicked his head towards Mayrse. He never found her to talk to him about it as though they were on the same level. She usually tip toed around the issue, only telling him they were there if he needed to talk.

"I…heard a few whispers. Nothing ever confirmed though." Jace had thought a tremendous amount though, always questioning why. "Do you?"

Mayrse paused. "I- yes, I have heard rumors, and I believe I know the basis of the whole ordeal."

Jace sat up and looked at Mayrse expectantly. He felt he had waited his whole life to hear this and he didn't want to miss a word. But Mayrse remained silent.

"Well?"

"Jace, I'm not sure…I don't see any good that could come of you gaining this knowledge. He was insane, Jace, absolutely crazy. What have you heard?"
"I heard, and presumed, that he took us to sell us into a slave trade of some sort. I don't know, he just seemed to want to train us to obey him but also keep us safe in his own twisted way."

Mayrse nodded slowly. "Yes, that is the…basis, of what he wanted to do."

"You don't know anything beyond that?"

"I do, but not for now Jace. I don't want to-"
"Upset me? Hurt me? I really don't think this will change my outlook on life."

Mayrse smiled sadly at him. "I'm sorry Jace, but now is not the right time." She stood up and smoothed out her skirt. "I was just going to talk to you about Clary, but if you're not dating then I don't need to. You do like her though, as more than a friend way?"

Jace nodded slowly and carefully. Mayrse smiled again, patted him on the shoulder and walked out muttering 'that's what I was afraid of,' under her breath. Jace was more confused than ever.
-/+\\-

"I'm going out!" Jace yelled through the house the next morning. He knew Izzy was still asleep, Alec would be working out and Mayrse would most likely be drinking coffee. Robert would have taken Max to tennis. Max had decided to start playing and Jace thought it the cutest thing. Max had little to no skill in sport but he was adamant that he would play tennis and Jace found himself unable to do anything but smile and encourage him. Jace heard some vague reply from the lounge room, and he was off, his keys twirling around his finger. The car came to life underneath him and be backed out of the driveway and drove towards the Fray's where Jon was shooting hoops outside. Jace turned the engine off and walked over to where he was playing.

"Since when do you play basketball?"

"I don't, just messing around."
"Huh."
"What brings you here this fine Saturday morning?"

"Clary."

"Oh. Where are you guys going?"

"Not sure, just hanging. I better go find her or she'll think I've stood her up."

"Later man."

"See ya."

Jace made his way to the front door where we knocked and walked in.\

"Clary!" He yelled, and was almost ran over as she came running around the corner, almost smacking into him.

"Uh, hey Clary."
"Hi Jace! Bye mum! Lets' go."

They began a somewhat speedy exit, Jace thought, until Jocelyn appeared around the corner glaring at Clary.

"Clary, hold on a sec! Hi Jace."
"Hi Mrs. Fray."

"How are you?"

"Good thank you, how are you?" He asked politely.

"I'm fine thank you, now I've been meaning to call your mother. Since you've become such good friends with Jon, and Clary I suppose, I think it would be great if your family came over for dinner."

Jace rubbed the back of his neck. "Ah, yeah that would be…cool."

Jocelyn laughed. "My bad, I should have directly called your mother. Anyway, what are you kids up to today?"

Jace looked to clary who was glaring at her mother. "We were going to go to the beach. If that's ok." Jace paused a moment, "ma'am."

Jocelyn pursed her lips and looked at Clary. "Is Jon going?"

"No."

"Clary you know how I feel about you with people I don't know."

"Mum, I've stayed at his house, a few times now. Its fine, we'll be back before dinner."

"Clarissa Fray you have to answer your phone if I call ok?"

"Yes, yes. Goodbye!"
"Bye Clare, Jace."

Clary dragged Jace back out through the house and to the car, where she got in and waited impatiently for Jace who was saying goodbye to Jon.

"Alright, where are we going?"

-/+\\-

Jace parked at the edge of the beach, and together they sat.

"Did you ever wonder what would have happened if we hadn't escaped?"

Clary flicked her head to Jace. He had spoken so quietly she was questioning if he actually spoke at all.

"I can't say I have. I'm still working on the forgetting part." Clary paused a moment. "Do you?"

Jace nodded. "I have always wondered why we were taken. I know we can guess, and the police can investigate and speculate but we'll never truly know."

"Yeah, I know. A part of me truly hopes we were just in the wrong places at the wrong times, which would indicate he never had any need for us and therefore no reason to come after us again."

"I know. I feel the same, yet sometimes…I just feel that he is coming back."

Silence followed.

Clary looked at Jace, tears gathering in her eyes and she wrung her hands nervously. "I thought I was going crazy, just paranoid." Clary finally whispered. "I've tried to ignore it but there's always a small part of me that is like hyper aware to these things."

"I- yeah. I couldn't describe it better. Have you wanted to go to therapy?"

"Not really. I don't think I could sit and listen to a shrink try and sympathize with me. Just talking with you, or friends is better."

"Yeah, I agree. How are your nightmares going?"
"They're better. Talking with you honestly helps. It's better when I'm with you though."

"God, I know Clare, I really do. I take it you haven't yet told your mum about me?"

"No, I don't even know how to address this with her. She'd freak out and question you, wouldn't let wither of us out of her sight and simultaneously dislike you at the same time."

"Why would she dislike me?"

"I don't know, I think she feels you're a reason I could never completely let the memories go."

"Am I?"

"No. Of course I want to remember you, but the reason I didn't was because I couldn't. I don't think she gets just how exhausting it is, jolting awake every night after dreaming your being taken, beaten, starved or even just memories of us talking always turned into nightmares. You were always taken, and I couldn't stop it. Never. It killed me and broke my heart at the same time."

Clary was surprised to see tears in Jace's eyes as she hastily wiped her own eyes. "What about you?"

"Practically the same. Except it killed me when they made me watch them hurt you and it was my fault."

"Jace, it was never your fault."
"But it was! If I couldn't do something in obedience to them, they did it worse to you and then threatened you again if I didn't do it to myself." Jace closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the headrest. He could feel he was on the edge of a panic attack and desperately reached for the willpower to stop it. A small hand covered his own hand which was resting on his thigh, and held it tightly. That stopped it. Jace took in a deep breath and slowly opened his eyes to look at clary.

"I'm sorry."
"Jace…don't be. You've seen me break down more than you have, and please, please believe me that I hold no blame to you. You didn't inflict the pain on me and I could never blame you for it. Please Jace, please realize this."

Jace ran a hand through his hair and tried to blink back tears again. Clary began rubbing small circles on his thigh and talked quietly.

"How long have you held this blame for?"

Jace shook his head. "Since we were little."

"Jace you need to release it. You're the only one that thinks it."

"For you, Clary, I'll try. But I can't promise anything."

"That's all I'm asking for Jace. Now come on, let's go for a walk."

"What?"

"On the beach? Walking, talking? Go buy coffee? Wakaru?"

"Did you just ask me something in Korean?"

"Japanese actually. One of my schools taught it."
"Oh yeah, what else can you say."

"Anata wa baka desu."

"Translation?"

"You are an idiot."

"You studied just to learn that phrase didn't you Fray."

"Might've. Now let's go, I need chai."

"Did you even bring a wallet?"

"Nope!" Clary exclaimed cheerfully.

"Stupid midgets expecting coffee for no reason." Jace grumbled as he let Clary pull him out of the car and lead the way down the small path onto the beach.

"Don't you just love the sand between your toes?"

Jace quirked and eyebrow. "Clary you're wearing shoes."
"Same difference. Let's play chicken."
"What?"

"We both stand on that rock over there, and see who can last the longest without backing away from the waves."

"You're on."

The duo took their positions on the rock, bracing themselves as the first set of waves came in. The first waves only wet their legs slightly, but the second and third waves saturated them to their knees.

"You're lucky it's a nice day and I'm wearing shorts Clary."

"You're lucky I gave you warning to remove your beloved Adidas before we began."

"Please, I had enough common sense to know to do that."

Clary flipped her head around. "No, you began walking straight to –"she was cut off though, as a wave plummeted down on her, completely drenching her shorts and the bottom half of her tee-shirt. Though, as she was caught off guard, she slipped and fell head first into the rocky water below them.

A/N Apologies, honestly. School's back, homework sucks and band has recently started. So I've been swamped. And I'm getting wisdom teeth out tomorrow so I'm terrified. Which is irrelevant. But that's my life at the moment. I will try update weekly but if you've been around for a while, you know how good I am at updating regularly. On a more positive note, we smashed 420 reviews! Thank you all so much, they honestly mean the world to me. And again sorry for not updating within two days! So I'm trying something new and weird. I would love you all to vote (just reviews, none of that fancy forum shit) on what you want to see in the next chapter;

- Continues as is (Clace friendship, illusion of safety. Ha. Ha. Haha)

- Valentine/threat development…whhahat!?

- Clace relationship development (smooches)

I've left it completely open! It also tells me how much longer you want this story. If it continues it will continue with friendship development, and be longer, sameish with relationship development but valentine stuff would bring the ending a lot quicker. So I don't know, you guys sick of me yet? Please leave me thoughts and ideas and thanks to everyone who reviewed/fav/followed! I can't explain how much they mean to me.

-Demonpoxjohnnyboy x