A Trip to the Moon, Soon!

"Uncle Roadhog." Junkrat's dearest said as she went up and down on a swing, "Do you think... if you try hard enough.. you can fly?" she asked as she reached the peak of her swing.

Roadhog saw as the girl came back down and stopped her with his large belly, "What now?" he asked very gruffly.

"I think if you swing me hard enough... I can go to the moon." the girl said as she pointed to the moon, which was shining in the evening sky, "Can you try, Uncle Roadhog?"

Roadhog rubbed the back of his head, "I don't think that's possible..." he muttered, "Plus, what if you fall? Your mum and Ratman will have me." he said.

The girl sighed and stepped down from the swing, "You're no fun, Uncle Roadhog." she pouted and looked at him with a mean face.

"Ugh... You remind me of Ratman." Roadhog shuddered, "Why couldn't you have your mum's face?" he mumbled and crossed his arms.

"Do it!" the girl sat back on the swing, "Or I'm telling my mom!" she threatened, "You are doing a bad job at babysitting." she added.

"If I really baby sat you would be smushed hrrrmhrrmmmhrrmmm." Roadhog grumbled angrily, then spotted a trampoline nearby, "Hmm... Ok, you want to go to the moon?" he asked.

"Yes!" the girl said with eagerness, "Are you going to send me?" she asked.

"Oh... of course." Roadhog chuckled, "Let's hope this works..." he said under his breath and swung as hard as he could.

"WOAH!" the girl went flying up high into the sky, then landed on the trampoline.

"Now that's a ten- Oh!" Roadhog gasped when the girl was bounced off the trampoline and sent over the fence, "Ooh... I didn't account for that..." he muttered.

The girl fell outside of the property and into some soft bushes, "OW..." she mumbled and held her head, "Wow..." she stood up, "The moon looks a lot like my house." she said as she walked around.

"Hey! Are you ok?" Roadhog called out, spooking the little girl.

"It may be an alien!" the girl muttered, then saw Roadhog step out from a gate, "AH!" she screamed, quite frightened.

"Hey! There you are." Roadhog muttered, "Are you ok?" he asked again.

"Ah... Ah..." the girl stopped being scared, "Wow... the space pigs look a lot like Uncle Roadhog." she spoke.

"Sp-Space pigs?!" Roadhog growled angrily, "Who are you calling a space pig?" he muttered, then saw the girl walk up to his rotund belly.

"Wow, the space pigs are even as fat as Uncle Roadhog!" the girl giggled as she smacked the huge stomach of the man.

"Hrrmhrrrmmhrrmmmm..." Roadhog grumbled lowly, "I am not fat... Just... big boned." he crossed his arms.

"Wow! Moon houses look just like my house!" the girl gasped and ran to her house, "Do you live in there, space pig?"

"That's your house." Roadhog spoke, "Why are you talking a- Oh..." he nodded, now understanding the situation, "You think you're on the moon." he said to himself.

"So... are space pigs... like the people for the moon?" the girl asked Roadhog as the two walked to the front door, "Do you have a nice house."

Roadhog sighed and decided to play along, "Yeah... it's such a sweet home." he muttered and opened the front door, "Space pigs love to have sweet crashes."

"Hey! This looks like my house!" the girl recognized the inside of the house, "Wow, do you have kids, space pigman?" she asked as she saw her toys on the ground, "A little space pig girl?"

"Oh yes..." Roadhog nodded, "She looks just like you." he chuckled to himself.

"Can I play with her? Maybe she'll want to blow stuff up too!" the girl cackled and grinned evilly, "Ooh I can't wait! Where is she?!" she looked around.

"Uh... she's not home at the moment." Roadhog mumbled, "But do you want a... cookie?" he saw the platter sitting on the kitchen counter and grabbed it.

"Say... moon cookies also look like Earth cookies." the girl said as she looked at the treats, "I thought they would look like... rocks."

"Hey, you, it's a mineral." Roadhog grumbled as he held one of the cookies, "They're... yeah... moon minerals inside."

"Really? I don't buy it, space pigman." the girl mumbled as she observed the cookie, "You better not be ripping me off."

"Where'd you learn to say that?" Roadhog asked, quite intrigued by the girl's words.

"Back on earth, my daddy says things like that all the time." the girl responded, "He also says son of-"

"I think we can leave it at that!" Roadhog interrupted her, "Now eat your rock- I mean- Minerals!" he gave her the cookie.

"Ah... well let's see how moon cookies taste like." the girl mumbled, "Oh.. these are good." she smiled, but the frowned, "I wish I could share these with mom and daddy." she sighed, "But they're stuck on Earth-" she heard the door open.

The door opened to Junkrat, Pharah, and a large gorilla, who were talking to each other.

"Hey!" the girl exclaimed as she looked at the new people, "Wow! Look at all these space pigs!" she pointed at Junkrat and Pharah, "But... these look like my mom and dad..."

"Space pigs?" Pharah asked, quite confused.

"Yes! Those are space pigs!" Roadhog said and walked to the newcomers, "Except... they... are wearing masks!" he said, "That's why they look like you."

"Ah... is this a game?" Pharah asked.

"No no no." Roadhog shook his head and looked at the girl, "These are my space pig friends." he told her, "And my... um... space gorilla..." he looked at the ape.

"Well... technically you're not wrong." the gorilla said, "Hello there." he wave at the girl.

"He reminds me of Winston." the girl started to become suspicious.

"That's because I a-" Winston's mouth was covered by Roadhog.

"Ok, Pigface, what's the deal?" Junkrat asked, "What's going on here-"

"And you are just like my dad!" the girl yelled, "How can this be the moon when everything is like it is on Earth?" she held her head.

"Oh.. you think you're on the moon?" Pharah chuckled, "Oh no, dearest, you're at home, and I am definitely NOT a space pig." she said sternly.

"You sure about that?" Roadhog said behind his mask.

"Where did you get such a bogey idea, dearest?" Junkrat asked as he knelt next to her.

"Uncle Roadhog back on Earth launched me up on the swing where I went flying." the girl reported, causing Pharah to gasp, "And I was launched to the moon."

"Oh, that's impossible." Winston spoke, "The escape velocity of Earth is 11.2 kilometers per second, which is many, many times the speed of sound- so the force that Roadhog expelled minus your weight, gravity, and friction would have made you fly just a few feet into the air."

"A few feet!?" Pharah gasped and glared at Roadhog.

"Hey... she wanted to." Roadhog shrugged.

"Pigface, she wanted to blow up your motorcycle by ramming it into a gasoline truck!" Junkrat said, "We do-"

"Are you gonna let me do that too!? Oh WOW!" the girl squealed and ran outside.

"HEY!"

"Dearest, come back!"