By the time we got back to Kurt and Rachel's place it was almost two in the morning. Kurt was dancing all around the sofa bed as he put the sheets and pillows in place.
"Okay, girls! Your bed is ready!" Kurt sang and stumbled as Quinn and I laughed at how obviously drunk he was. Rachel came over and hugged Quinn and I before saying she was going to bed. Kurt followed suit and gave us hugs and kisses on the cheek before sauntering off into his bedroom.
Quinn got on the bed and threw one of the pillows at me. Luckily, I caught it in time before it hit me in the face.
"Hey! Don't mess with the money maker," I yelled as I hopped down onto the bed beside her and stretched my legs out. I tossed her pillow back to her.
She laid down and giggled as she looked up at the ceiling. I had sat close to Quinn multiple times before, but lying next to her now, I could feel my heart beating out of my chest. My thoughts went back to earlier in the night when she burned my skin from the tequila shots, the dancing, and the kisses on my neck. I let out a long breath.
She lifted her head up from the bed and stared at me. I met her gaze and felt my breathing catch. I had this urge to touch her face, to be closer to her. I could feel myself getting more and more nervous by the second.
We stared at each other for a while, but it wasn't awkward. It was as if we were remembering how great of friends we were and all of the happy memories we shared. It was like we were forgetting about all of the time we spent apart, and we were putting our friendship back together simply by looking into each other's eyes.
"Remember that night during cheerleading camp when we snuck out to go look at the stars? Brittany kept telling us we'd get in trouble, but you were ruthless." Quinn chuckled. "Nothing was going to stop you from seeing that meteor shower."
"And nothing did stop me from seeing that meteor shower," I smirked.
"You always did have an affinity with the stars. You should see the expression on your face when you're staring up at them. You look amazed and worried and vulnerable all at the same time," Quinn said lightly.
I didn't know she had been looking. "The sky is just so mesmerizing at night. The stars that we see are already dead, but they're burning so bright from so far away that we assume they're still alive. I just feel like them sometimes. People only see me on the surface. They think I'm burning so bright that I couldn't possibly be hurting inside."
I blinked a few times as it hit me what I just said, what I had just revealed to Quinn. No one is supposed to know that I hurt inside, no matter how much I may want them to see through my façade. "I mean, they're awesome because they're so bright and stuff," I mumbled, trying to cover up my admission of feelings.
"You're not fooling me, San. I always figured you liked stars for a deeper reason than the ones you always try to give, like 'they're so pretty' or 'you can make wishes off of them'. You think about more complex stuff than you ever let anyone know."
"For the record, they are really pretty, and you can make wishes off of them," I huffed. Not correcting her was my way of letting her know that it was okay that she know I thought about other stuff besides the mundane. Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing for someone to finally see the thoughts inside my head that cause the angry words to come out of my mouth. After all, my insecurities tend to stem from the frustrations of people not understanding what goes on in my mind. People have never really taken the time to see why I see things the way I do. After a while, I decided that if no one was going to take the time to care, then I wasn't going to, either.
Quinn's eyes lightened a bit as she looked at me. We rested our elbows under our arms as we turned more towards each other while we talked. A gentle smile started to form on her mouth. I couldn't help but smile back. It felt so easy and comfortable to lay here with Quinn.
"I'm always wondering what you're thinking when you get quiet like this. I can tell you're soaking in what I just said, but I can never tell how I make you feel. Sometimes, I'll say something, and you'll explode and slap me. Other times, you'll stay silent and just look at me with so much emotion that I don't know what you're going to do next. You'd think I'd have you figured out by now, but some of your walls are far too high for any one person to climb. One day you're going to have to lift me up from down here so I can see the view you do."
I didn't realize she concerned herself with my feelings so much. I tried to keep my face from showing any emotion. I didn't want her to know how happy it made me to know she gave even a little bit of time to try and figure me out.
A strand of hair fell across my cheek, and she lifted her hand to my face to tuck it neatly behind my ear. She let her hand linger on my cheek. I wanted to reach up and put my hand on hers, but then she would know I wanted to touch her. I didn't need to give Quinn any impression that I wanted to be closer to her. If she knew I wanted her she could easily leave. I wasn't even sure if I wanted Quinn. I just knew I liked being close to her. I couldn't handle any sense of rejection so close after Brittany. I coughed nervously, and she pulled back, laying her hand back on the bed.
She smiled weakly at me. "Sorry, San, I know you're still hurting from Brittany. I didn't mean to…" she trailed off.
Didn't mean to what? What is she talking about? How did she know Brittany had flashed through my mind?
"You didn't mean to what, Q?" I asked, perplexed.
Her gaze shifted, and she looked down towards her idle hand, now laying between us on the bed.
"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable," Quinn whispered.
"You could never make me uncomfortable. What would make you think that?"
"Nothing. Just a fleeting thought." She smiled again like she hadn't just seemed nervous for some reason. "Remember that time in Glee club when you and Puck loosened all of the screws in Mr. Schue's chair?" Quinn giggled.
My lips curled up as I remembered Mr. Schue falling on the floor while everyone laughed, and Puck and I pounded our fists in accomplishment.
"He said he had a bruise on his ass for over two weeks," I laughed.
I knew there was still something up with Quinn, but I decided not to push it. I didn't want to try and figure out my feelings, either.
Maybe it was the alcohol from earlier in the night that still made my body heat up every time Quinn would giggle or slap me on the arm after a funny memory made its way into our conversation or maybe it was just being this close to her.
Soon enough we became too tired to talk. I watched as Quinn's eyes became too heavy for her to keep them open. She looked beautiful when she slept. The way her body would rise with each gentle breath made me want to wrap her up in my arms. I had never really seen Quinn like this before. She looked so elegant and peaceful. I've always looked past her towards Brittany, but now, with her here lying beside me, I couldn't help but love everything my eyes took in. Her hair was messy, but in a cute way that fell across the freckles on her face. She slept on her side with her legs tucked up against her. If I didn't know how strong she was, I could've sworn she looked almost fragile.
I fell asleep to the image of Quinn moving her body just an inch closer to mine in her sleep.
"Don't eat all of the pancakes. You have to leave some for Quinn and Santana." I stirred at the sound of Rachel's voice saying my name. Pancakes, were there pancakes?
"But they're not even up, yet," Kurt pleaded. "Please, just one, no, two more."
"Fine, Kurt, but you're making the next batch when you're done scarfing those down."
"Done deal!" Kurt said excitedly.
I opened my eyes and turned my head to face Quinn. She was still asleep. I could feel that her arm was drawn around my waist under the covers. Something, I hoped Kurt and Rachel hadn't noticed. I couldn't help but feel completely comfortable in that moment with Quinn wrapped around me. Just as I closed my eyes to bask in the moment, I felt Quinn's gaze on me. I peeked one eye open at her, and she giggled.
"Morning, sleepy head," Quinn whispered as she took her arm from my waist and stretched her limbs.
I sighed at the loss of contact, but felt my breath hitch in my throat at the sight of her arching her back and hearing her moan in pleasure at her awakened muscles.
"Morning," I coughed.
The covers slipped off of her body as she sat up, and I couldn't help but stare at the slip of tone abs that was showing between her sweat pants and tank top.
"Hm, San, you like what you see?" Quinn smirked.
"Uh, yeah, you just, um, there's something on your shirt," I stammered.
"Really, where?" Quinn laughed and pulled up the side of her shirt a little further. "What is it? Where is it, S?" She lifted up the other side of her shirt so that the line of her hip bones was showing all the way up to her navel.
"Um, I think it was just a fuzz or something. It, it looks like it fell off when you, um, moved your shirt," I stuttered.
She smiled at me as she got up from the bed to walk towards the kitchen. "What smells so good, you guys?" Quinn asked on her way to the stove. "Mmm, pancakes! I love pancakes! Come on, San, we can split the last one."
I got to the table where Kurt and Rachel were sitting and Quinn sat down next to me with a plate, one pancake, and two forks. I poured the syrup on our pancake while she cut it into pieces.
"So, what are you ladies up to today?" Kurt questioned.
"I've got to check out the apartment I'm leasing next semester. It looks great online, but I still want to check it out in person," Quinn answered.
"What about you, Santana?" Rachel murmured between bites of her vegan friendly breakfast.
"I guess I need to go looking for a job. I was thinking that I might want to take some classes, and that takes money that I don't seem to have at the moment."
"Well, why don't you come with me to the apartment, and then we can drop by some places and fill out some applications?" Quinn asked.
I nodded as Kurt and Rachel got up in unison, taking their dirty dishes to the sink. "Well, ladies, it's been a nice breakfast, and I had a wonderful time last night, but I'm afraid Rachel and I have a lovely Sunday rehearsal for Funny Girl. We probably won't be back until later. Quinn, I'm leaving you the key. I trust you with it far more than I trust Santana," Kurt laughed and gave me a wink.
"Hey, Rachel said I was a permanent member of this apartment so I'll be getting my own key soon enough. You know I'll only bring excitement into our so far humble abode," I winked back.
We walked down the unfamiliar streets I had always dreamed of, and Quinn reached for my hand. I smiled when she interlaced her fingers with mine. We've held hands before, but this time my entire arm heated up at the action. She gave me a quick smile before running towards an apartment building. I felt like I would follow her anywhere.
She pulled me up three flights of stairs before she got to a door marked 3B. The B was slightly slanted. It comforted me in a way because I've always liked things that aren't quite perfect.
"Are you ready?" She asked with a big smile.
She didn't need to ask me. I was ready as soon as I saw her. I was ready as soon as she looked at the stars with me on a rooftop above our drunken friends. I was ready when I remembered how comfortable it was to simply lay with her and talk. I was ready when she grabbed my hand and my heart pounded out of my chest.
I don't know if it was being in a completely new place that made me see Quinn in such a different light or if it was the fact that Brittany was always around to cloud my vision of her, but something had changed in the way I saw her smile and the way I felt her words dig into my bones as she spoke.
"Yeah, I'm ready. Show me what you got."
She pulled a key out of the pocket of her jeans and put it into the lock. It took a few jiggles and a few cute grunts before the key finally turned and she opened the door.
We walked into a small living room with a quant kitchen to the left. To the right was a short hallway leading to two bedrooms and a bathroom. The floors were hardwood, which automatically made me want to take my shoes off and slide across them in my socks. There were windows in each room that gave a view of the surrounding street.
"Don't you just love it? I know it's not that big, but it feels so comfortable." Quinn walked into the first bedroom and invited me in. "So, this would be my bedroom. I'm going to push my bed into the middle and move my dresser over there," she pointed to the far wall.
"I like it. You haven't even moved here, yet, and you've already found a nice place to live. Kudos to you, Q. I moved out here without even looking for a place. Probably wasn't my smartest move, but I couldn't wait any longer," I said with a hint of excitement.
"I like how you can just get up and do anything. I always have to plan. Sometimes, I hate that about myself. I can't just go out and do what I want without analyzing it a thousand times over." Quinn walked over to the window as she continued. "It's why I've always been a little jealous of you. You do things with you heart, not always your mind."
It was endearing, everything she said. I always thought of myself as being impulsive, but not in a good way, but hearing her talk about me like that made me smile.
She turned back to me with a curious look on her face that made my knees grow weak.
"I don't officially move in until next month when the new semester starts. I need to find a roommate before then. The rent is cheap, and we're really close to campus. There are a lot of great restaurants and coffee shops around. I don't know why anyone wouldn't want to live here." She walked out and into the other bedroom.
"Yeah, Quinn, it's really awesome," I replied as I followed her.
"This room is great. The window leads out to a fire escape that leads up to the roof. Great for star gazing, if you ask me." Her smile grew even more curious. "I know you don't want to be living with Kurt and Rachel forever."
I gave her a puzzled look, wondering if she was going where I thought she was going with this conversation.
Living with Quinn would be amazing. We're already great friends, and we know about each other's ridiculous living habits since we spent every summer as roommates at cheerleading camp. I was thinking about taking a few classes at NYU, and it's just around the corner, like she said. Not to mention, just being close to Quinn had my pulse racing. Being asleep in the room next to hers every night made me a little light headed, but I encouraged the thought.
"Are you asking me to live with you, Q?" I asked with a smirk, "Because I don't know if you could handle all of this awesome every day of the week."
She gave a small laugh, "Well, you need a place to live, and I need a roommate. I've been thinking about it since yesterday. Normally, I wouldn't go into such a big decision on such short notice, but your impulsivity has inspired me. I mean, really, how long do you think it would last with you and Kurt and Rachel?"
She did have a point there. My answer was yes. She didn't have to give me any other reasons.
"What kind of friend would I be to deny you an idea I inspired?" I giggled and ran over to her to give her a hug.
She placed her hands on my lower back as mine wrapped around her neck. My head fit perfectly on her shoulder and up against her neck. She smelled amazing, like honey and vanilla and a hint of some sort of familiar flower I couldn't quite put my finger on.
She squeezed me harder before she pulled her head back to look at me. I couldn't remember a time when someone really looked into my eyes. Most people were too scared or didn't care enough to look me directly in the eyes like she was doing now. Her eyes were a perfect shade of hazel, the green causing me to look deeper. I must have been staring for longer than I thought because she looked down and giggled as she released her grasp.
"Good, it's settled then. I have to go back to school for finals tomorrow, but you can have my copy of keys until we get you a set of your own."