Lock, Stock and a Trunk of Grace
Darksider82
HP/Supernatural x-over
Harry/Jo Harvelle
I own nothing save this plot
Cyber cookies if you recognise Harry's distant cockney ancestor.
VIII
Harry stared at the wings on his back and looked at the weird dagger in his hand which he didn't remember buying or having "Ellen, no idea about the tattoo's basically lets see what happens."
Ellen grinned "Bobby's left to pick up the Impala. I need to know what that bastard John needed."
Harry groaned "You get the coffee on and I'll start making bacon and eggs."
"What kind of eggs? Scrambled? Fried? Poached? Sunny Side Up?"
"Fried."
Twenty minutes later, Harry sat the table with three sandwiches the size of a brick. Ellen slid him coffee as he sent the sandwich sliding down the bar.
"What did he want?"
"To summon Azazeal to bring his son back...I told him don't be a dick. Gave him the stuff and got the hell out."
"Scared of him?" Asked Ellen.
"No. He doesn't exactly like me so I'm not going to give him a chance to have a go at me if I can help it...Constantine and I put his bitch of a daughter out of a four story apartment and she landed on an iron railing."
"And the son? When you informed me about getting your arse hand to you by Lilith..." Harry scowled at elder Harvelle.
"Don't remind me but go on."
"Mentions a son and a daughter. Met the son?"
"Nope...but the Winchesters have...In the form of a semi."
Ellen couldn't help but chuckle "I'm sorry but thats so bad its funny...Harry what do you think you'd be doing if you hadn't left your world?"
"Probably in some dead end job being manipulated by my wife and in-laws and my children may not even be mine."
Ellen shook her head "That world really that bad?"
"Worse. Words cannot describe it. Better to munched on things I know rather than things I don't."
Harry cleaned up and headed into the kitchen as Jo walked down stairs when yet another one of his t-shirts and jeans "We're opening soon."
Meanwhile over at Bobby's Dean was under the Impala; Sam had to admire his brothers work as it looked considerably less trashed up than before.
The tension between the brothers was absolutely rife as Sam tried to be helpful causing Dean to snap. Sam vanished into the house to look at their dad's possessions when he stumbled across an old phone with a lock on it.
John, it's me Ellen. Again. Look, don't be stubborn, you know I can help you or give contacts who can. Call me.
Dean looked at his younger brother "What's this about? Whose Ellen?"
"That message is four months old." Came the reply.
"Wait Dad saved that chick's message for four months? Either persistant woman or he was extremely lucky."
Sam winced at the implications...as he tried to remember what Harry had told him when they last spoke
"Hear the man out. That's all you can do." Sam tuned out his brothers ramblings.
"Sammy, did you find anything about her in Dad's journal?"
"No...Did run a trace on her number and I have an address now all we need to do is borrow a car."
Harry suddenly smirked as he pulled two beers for two hunters "Kid what do you know about witches?" It was a well known fact that Harry knew more about the supernatural than most hunters.
"Which kind? Borrowers or Naturals?"
That caught the hunters off guard "We thought all witches only made deals."
Harry snorted "Then you guys are idiots no offence. Naturals have all the perks without demons munching you they tend to be more arrogant than anything. Borrowers well you know how to track and kill them..."
"How do you kill vampires? Werewolves and Shape shifters?"
Harry rolled his eyes this guys were being bell ends "Decapitation, Silver or a woodchipper."
"Woodchipper? Kid what are you on?" Snickered one of the hunters only to see a pair of dead eyes staring back at him.
"A pair of asswipes who seem to be trying to take the piss out of me. Listen to me and listen good; you insult my intelligence again and I won't assist you in whatever hunt you're on, hell I may even give mis-information." Harry growled the two hunters stared back.
"You'd be murdering two people! Could you live with that?"
"Yup not the first time."
Just then Ellen entered with a new barrel of beer "Those two pissing you off?"
Harry nodded "Just given them the potential for misinformation speech."
"What do you need help with?"
"A Rugaru."
Harry snorted that was almost too easy "Find it and set it on fire. Helps to find out if the oven is a gas oven."
They nodded and left leaving the saloon deserted "Fucking assholes." Harry grumbled as he left the bar in Ellen's hands.
Just then a minivan trundled into the saloon, Dean and Sam headed towards the doors and entered the saloon, taking a quick look around they saw somebody passed out on the kitchen table "That's definitely not Ellen."
Dean suddenly felt something against his spine, Sam had gone off to explore the kitchens "Please tell me that's a rifle."
Jo smirked "No, I'm just real happy to see you. Don't move."
"Not moving but one thing...When you've put a rifle to someone, you don't want it against their back because it's easy to do..." With that he disarmed Jo and cocked the rifle "...that."
Jo smirked punched Dean in the face and kneed him the testacles "Boy friend taught me that."
"I may need some help Sam."
"Sam's kinda not in a position to help comatose Winchester." A gruff voice called, Dean looked up to see a woman and a familiar black haired teenager with shotguns to his brother's back.
"Harry." He growled making no effort to go for his gun.
"Darlings would say it's a pleasure to see you again but its not." Harry replied calmly "...Apologies about your father."
"Sam? Dean? Winchester?" The woman called curiously.
"We are." Sam replied he was in a more comfortable position, he had found Harry waiting for him with a shotgun and had quickly complied.
"Son of a bitch."
"Mom? Harry? You know these two?"
Harry grinned lowering his shotgun "These are Johnny Winchester's lads."
"Lads? Speak English man!" Growled Dean
"Kids, brats, punks. I am speaking English you dancing monkey the QUEEN'S English not some godforesaken drawl of Kansas." Harry snapped as he lowered the shotgun to tighten the bandage on his arm.
Teddy had a pretty rough night under the full moon and had inadvertently sliced Harry's arm. The boy had broken down into tears and apologised profusely as a toddler could.
"What happened to Dean?" Asked Sam curiously as Jo jumped over the bar giving Harry a good look at her ass.
"By the looks of things by lovely rose hit him in the nose and got him in the testacles. Did you have to hit him in both places?"
"I misheard that when you taught me that."
"YOU! TAUGHT HER! THAT! Do you have any sort of honour?" Sang Dean.
"Honour's only good when your dead. Want some ice?"
Dean nodded and caught the ice which he shoved into his pants "Harry not that its good to see you, I heard you and my dad had a falling out."
Harry grinned and the silver blade Ellen carried under her shirt appeared She noticed that Harry looked at the blades location and shrugged "More like tried to be the voice of reason to a man with the brain of a Kakpo. Who then decided to summon the cause of his troubles to save his son...Admirable but heck I could have saved your ass Dean and prevented your Kakpo father from summoning the demon the caused all of this."
"What is a Kakapo?"
"A hump anything flightless parrot."
Sam and Dean bristled but inside realised that the guy was right "Well what was it that you called us for?"
"Something about the demon your dad was tracking. I don't know much else, I just run a saloon and Hunters appear from time to time."
Sam and Dean grinned; they grabbed to stools as Harry poured them two beers. "You're looking quite disgruntled what's bugging you?"
"Somehow I've got tattoo's or outlines of wings on my back and I have no idea how they got their. I haven't been drunk enough to get them etched in."
"But you were pissed enough to take my daughter into a house full of Poltergeists AND get yourself stabbed." Replied Ellen.
"Stabbed schabbed I'm alive ain't I?"
"Harry! Behave! Mom he got me out okay. Sure it wasn't his best way to get me hunting but at least I'm alive."