Silly Love Songs

-GLEE-

"Okay, so last week may have not been the best week for me," Finn narrated as he walked down the hall. "But this week is going to be different," he thought as he looked at Quinn who was talking to Sam. "This week I'm going to take back what's mine, but how?"

"Listen up guys," Will spoke, snapping Finn out of his own thoughts. "Regionals is coming up, and we need to raise money for costumes and props."

A light when off in Finn's head as he stared at Quinn. "I got it, Mr. Schue. A kissing booth," Finn suggested.
Puck looked him. "You're going to kiss people?"

"Yeah, for a dollar. It'll totally raise money. We just won the state championship. That's kinda hot, right?" Finn asked.

Finn smiled as the bell rang. As Finn was leaving, Puck walked beside him.

"Hey dude, I have to tell you something later," Puck said quietly.

-GLEE-

Kurt strutted into the warbler rehearsal space where Blaine had been bent over typing furiously on his laptop. Kurt quietly snuck behind Blaine and tugged down his slacks to reveal his tight gray boxer-briefs. Blaine quickly pulled his pants back up. "Kurt I'm not in the mood for fun right now. I'm trying to figure something out."

"What?" Kurt asked sounding perky. "Can I help?"

"No. It's about someone. Someone I like very much." Blaine took a deep breath.

Kurt's stomach filled up with butterflies and his hands began to sweat. "R-really?" Kurt asked, having a feeling It was him.

"Yes. He works at the gap." Blaine said, love struck.

Kurt's heart sunk. He had to bite the bullet though, he decided it would be better to help Blaine get the guy. "Sing to him."

"Sing? As in a solo?" Blaine wondered.

"As in you leading the warblers." Kurt smiled. "Make it special, something that would remind him of a small moment between you two. Act like you thought very big of it."

"When I first met him he was folding underwear." Blaine smiled. "We can all wear underpants!"

"I hope were all wearing underpants!" A warbler joked.

"Guys I need your help." Blaine smiled. "We're doing a performance in our underwear, at the gap."

"And it's discussion time." Another warbler sat down smiling.

-GLEE-

Finn had just finished setting up his booth when Quinn walked by.

"Hey, you wanna be my first customer?" Finn winked.

"I'm dating Sam now," Quinn flirtatiously smiled.

"You know, you don't have to pay a dollar to get a kiss from me," Finn leaned in as he felt a sharp pain in his butt.

"Nice undies, loser," Azimio laughed as he walked away.

"I'll see you later, Finn," Quinn giggled as she left. Down the hall, Sam had seen everything.

Finn realized something. If he was going to be getting wedgies all day, he may as well be getting paid for them. The wedgie booth made them loads of money the previous year.

Finn had just finished the wedgie sign when Puck approached him.

"Hey man, can you take a break?" Puck asked.

Finn nodded as they walked down the hall. "So what'd you have to talk to me about?" Finn asked.
Puck looked both ways before shoving Finn in the Janitor's closet.

"Um, why are we in the closet?" Finn asked bluntly.

"Because I need you to kiss me," Puck answered.

Finn's jaw dropped. "I'm sorry. Did you say kiss?"

Puck nodded, shamefully.

"Why?" Finn asked.

"Because recently, I've had these reactions when I'm around you," Puck admitted.

"What do you mean by reactions?" Finn wondered.

"It started a couple months ago when you ripped off my underwear… I got… turned on. And last week, I got slightly turned on when we were hanging by the shower," Puck explained.

"So, why do I need to kiss you?" Finn repeated himself.

"To test if I'm gay. If I get a reaction, then I'll know," Puck explained.

"I'm sorry dude, but I can't kiss another dude," Finn said as he tried to get out of the closet.

"Finn, please," Puck begged. "I'm going nuts. Last week, you said I was a real bro. Please help me," Puck asked again.

Finn turned back and looked at him.

"Fine," Finn agreed, "but no tongue."

Finn and Puck both stared at each other as they leaned in. There lips made contact for a second when Finn pulled away.

"Well, did it work?" Finn smiled.

"Are you joking?" Puck asked. "That's how I kiss my grandma."
Puck took ahold of Finn's head and pushed it towards him, colliding their lips together. Puck began to viciously attack Finn's face. Finn tried getting away but had no chance against Puck's grip.

Puck then released him and smiled.

"What?" Finn asked.

"I'm not gay!" Puck asked, double checking the inside of his pants.

"Great, but that still doesn't solve your other problem," Finn said. "Why do you keep getting hard around me?"

"I don't know," Puck stated.

"Wait a sec," Finn began, "there's a least common denominator in both those situations."

Puck ignored Finn's stupidity and asked, "Well, what is it?"

Finn turned Puck around and reached into his pants grabbing his red and white hearts covered Valentine's Day briefs. He yanked them up halfway up his back.

"Hey!" Puck said squiring out of the wedgie. "What was- oh my gosh, you did it," Puck realized.

"You like wedgies?" Finn laughed.

"No," Puck denied. "I mean, I didn't before."

"Well something changed your mind," Finn chuckled.

"Shut up. How do I get rid of it?" Puck asked.

Finn thought for a minute before saying, "What about cooling down yourself somehow? Maybe you need to find a way for wedgies to gross you out?" Finn suggested.

"I know just the guy to see," Puck stated. "Also, if you ever tell anyone, I made out with you, I'll shove your tighty whities so far up your ass, you'll be able to taste them," Puck threatened.
"Don't worry dude. My lips are sealed. Can we get out the closet now?" Finn asked.

"Yeah, let's get out of the closet."

-GLEE-

Finn had just finished kissing Becky Jackson when Rachel popped up before holding a one-dollar bill.

"Hey Rachel," Finn smiled.

"One kiss please," she said as she closed her eyes and waited.

Finn saw Quinn in the background and kissed Rachel on the cheek.

"On the cheek? That's it?" Rachel asked.

"Um, sorry?" Finn said.

"Yeah, me too," Rachel said pulling out another dollar. "Turn around."

Finn sighed as turned around and felt his Hanes fly out of his pants and bunch up on his letterman.

"Ow," Finn said quietly.

Rachel stormed off as Finn turned around. Quinn marched up to the table and slammed a dollar down on it.

"Are you gonna give me a wedgie too?" Finn asked.

"No, you idiot," Quinn said, grabbing onto his shirt and kissing him. When their lips separated, Finn and Quinn both felt a spark.

-GLEE-

Everyone in the warblers showed up, ready to get in the warblers black bus. Blaine put his stuff in a seat with Kurt, then walked in the front of the bus. "Warblers, time to take our pants off." He laughed.

Everyone stripped off their pants, and all eyes immediately went to Kurt's pink bikini briefs. "I was trying to be festive..." He started, before looking at everyone else's underwear. Everyone was wearing navy blue boxer briefs. "Is everyone wearing matching underwear?"

Blaine nodded and sat back down with Kurt as the bus started moving. "That was our plan, matching underwear. You're the best dancer. Once I saw your yellow bikini briefs I knew you'd wear bright underwear. You need the attention on your dancing." Blaine put his arm around Kurt. "But these are very festive."

Soon enough everyone got into the gap, which was closing. Danny, the man Blaine like was just about closing up. "Danny!" Blaine smiled. Danny turned around awkwardly. "We have a performance for you."

Blaine and the warblers performed with their muscular legs swinging and their asses pressed against the material. Once it finished, Danny motioned at Blaine. "Can we talk, privately?"

Kurt stood alone as everyone left. "Tell us how it goes Kurt!"

Kurt smiled an peaked through the bathroom door to watch Blaine.

"Why would you do this?" Danny asked annoyed.

"I-I like you."

"Well, I dont. What if people were here, I'm not out of the closet!" Danny screeched. "And why are you wearing these dumb underwear?" Danny grabbed ahold if Blaine's underwear an started going to town. Blaine's underwear disappeared in his ass as he yelped out in pain. Then Danny dropped them like a hot tamale. "Just leave me alone Blaine."

-GLEE-

Dressed in his leather jacket and tight black jeans, Puck walked up to motel and knocked on the door.

"Coming," a voice was said. The door opened revealing Sandy Ryerson in just a robe.

"So glad you could make it, Noah," Sandy spoke. "Make yourself comfortable," Sandy said, taking the leather jacket off the boy.

"Thanks Mr. Ryerson," Puck said creeped out.

"So, over the phone, you said you wanted to do some wedgies?" Sandy asked. "If you want, I could call a couple of my friends and make this a big wedgie meet up."

"Wedgie meet up?" That's like a real thing?" Puck asked.

Sandy nodded.

"We're good with just us," Puck clarified. "I just need to get to grossed out a little bit, and maybe my problem will go away. How do we start this whole thing?"

"Take off your clothes," Sandy smiled as he removed his revealing his unappealing body and his usual SpongeBob briefs.

Puck removed his pants and shirt leaving his tight body in his Valentine's Day briefs. Puck and Sandy began to exchange wedgies.

After a half hour, Puck was still getting reactions.
"Forget it. This isn't working!" Puck exclaimed, sitting on the bed.

"Well, I guess you're just not grossed out," Sandy responded.

Puck looked at him. "Trust me… I'm grossed out, but I still can't stop this."

"How did you say this started again?" Sandy asked.

"I don't know," Puck put his hands on his head.

"Did anything traumatic happen to you with wedgies?" Sandy asked.

"Of course," Puck said, " In juvie."

"What happened?" Sandy asked.

"These guys just owned my ass with my underwear for a week straight. Worst wedgies of my life," Puck admitted.

"Those guys stole something from you Puck. They stole your confidence and even some of hot bad boy quality. The only way to get your original self back is to get revenge," Sandy explained.

Puck nodded.

"Thanks Mr. Ryerson," Puck said as he got dressed and then left.

-GLEE-

Sam walked down the hallway sporting a white and red long-sleeved shirt and jeans. He made his way angrily to Finn's booth. "Finn!" He exclaimed bending over the booth. "Has Quinn been here?"

"Wha- No." Finn lied, surprised.

"If you're lying, I swear to god Finn. I will kill you." Sam said. He looked actually kind of scared, like a little kid. Finn felt kind of bad for a second. "Now, here's some money."

"Woah! I'm not kissing dudes here." Finn said stupidly.

"I'm buying a wedgie dumbass." Sam said, readying his hands.

Finn sighed and turned around. "If you weren't paying, this wouldn't be happening."

Sam smiled and nodded. "Sure."

Seconds later his briefs were pulled sky high. "Ah! Eh-ooh!" Finn grunted as his underwear rubbed in his ass.

"This is a reminder not to steal Quinn. Because if you do, you'll wish you didn't!" Sam shouted, giving one more tug and ripping the briefs 100% off Finns body.

Finn rubbed his ass. "Sam, seriously. It says no ripping!"

"Well, suck on that!" Sam rolled his eyes and stormed away.

-GLEE-

Blaine sat in the passenger seat of Kurt's car and put the seat all the way back, about to cry. "I'm- I- Worst valentines day ever. My love was just... Ah! Crushed!"

"And Wedgied." Kurt added, wishing he hadnt.

"It sucked!" Blaine let a tear fall. "Now I have to spend valentines day alone."

"New directions are all going to Breadstix tonight, I planned on going alone. But, lets go as friends." Kurt offered. "We need to spend a night talking about how much guys can suck."

"I'd like that." Blaine smiled, wiping his eyes. "Pick me up at 8."

-GLEE-

Finn was in his room with Kurt. "So you're going with Blaine, huh?" He teased.

"Don't bring it up there! It's just as friends!" Kurt smiled. "It's why I'm wearing Louis Vuitton."

"Speaking of clothes, should I wear ripped jeans or?" Finn asked. "I want to look nice still."

"Hmm- Wear loose jeans no rip and... A white t-shirt. Oh, and your black hoodie with the fur inside."

"Well, good thing I have a gay brother." Finn stripped to his white briefs. There was a small tear near the top.

"Get wedgied today?" Kurt hooked his finger in the tear.

"Sam ripped mine, so I got a new pair and of course Karofsky almost ripped these. And he didn't even pay!" Finn exclaimed.

"Change them!" Kurt laughed.

"Or else what?" Finn teased.

"I'll rip this pair too." Kurt grinned.

Finn put his arm on Kurt's neck. "Will you?"

"Yeah!" Kurt giggled, giving Finn a small wedgie.

Finn took his arm away, he pulled out his tiny wedgie. "Get ready now." He chuckled. "Almost time to go."

-GLEE-

As Tina sang a song up on stage the new directions enjoyed their valentines day.

"Well see ya Quinn!" Sam smiled closing his cell phone.

"You're still dating?" Santana asked, sounding judgemental. "She kissed Finn."

"She saved his life, he was choking on a gumball." Sam said.

"Idiot." Santana rolled her eyes before turning to talk to Brittany.

Meanwhile Kurt and Blaine sat in the next booth with Puck and Finn. "Idina Menzel. Hands down, best Elphaba." Blaine smiled.

"I liked Eden Esponinsa. She was the true star of any production of Wicked." Kurt replied. "What do you two think?"

"I'm more of a sports guy." Finn replied. "And Puck's too busy tracking people down on his phone."

Puck looked up, clueless. "I didnt do whatever I'm being blamed for."

Kurt laughed. "Who is he tracking down?"

"Juvie guys. Old friends." Finn smiled, not giving away Pucks secret.

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