Author's Note: NaNoWriMo is around the corner, and I'm on a job hunt, I'll try to get the next chapter out by the end of October or the beginning of November. If I can't, forgive me. :P Enjoy. UPDATE: Made a story error, some of you might be able to spot it, don't worry, I'll be fixing that in the next chapter!
15. Unsent
Yuna's finger brushed against every word printed on the page, holding the book firmly in her hand, she read along each word her finger glided by, taking in every bit of information. The word 'project JENOVA' caught her eye a lot, the word 'Cetra' and 'Ancient' popped along right after it; those at Cosmo Canyon never mentioned a Jenova before... Not that she could recall. Still the passage of the books striked her as familiar. Why did it strike her as familiar?
She shut the old book, scented with musty old age, and placed it on top of another pile, on top of the desk in front of her. On the ceiling was an old chandelier that barely worked, she had to rely on its dim lighting to read. She needed more information. Her fingertips brushed against another book right before she took it into her grasp, opening it up and drinking in the knowledge contained within the pages. "Unbelievable ... Jenova was an Ancient? Is this correct?" Yuna turned her attention down the hall formed by a row of bookshelves, with books piled upon each other sitting on the floor, and many others scattered around. "This gives me nothing on Sephiroth... I need to know more about him. I need to know how strong he is, and how to stop him." Her voice was strong and clear; this was determination fueling her, and she wasn't about to let anything stop her.
But her tone immediately grew meek.
"But please," she said, directing her voice down the row of bookcases."Don't tell Cloud I'm here yet."
A day earlier, the dawn greeted her as well as the rumble of the vehicle that picked her up. A civilian agreed to help her move across the rivers; she left the Buggy with Cloud, feeling it would be far too unfair for her to take it. She agreed to pay the civilian with gil and rode in the passenger seat. She felt her vision grow blurry, and her eyelids drooping. Yuna didn't get any proper sleep the night she left, she was shaken awake from another nightmare, and she set out to the plains to search for another answer. Funny how her entire journey thus far has been nothing but one giant scavenger hunt.
It was the search for truth and now the search for peace. She brought the Eternal Calm, hadn't she? Maybe she could help rescue this world too, she could only try.
Before she fell to sleep, she thought about Cloud, about his reaction when he wakes up to find nothing but an empty bed beside him... but this was for the best, she wouldn't be out for too long, she just needed to find her own answers, and then she'd come back to him. Sephiroth reached out to her, so maybe she should reach back.
"Where are you headed to?"
The sound of the driver's voice jolted her from her dazed phase, and Yuna yawned. "Is Cosmo Canyon near here?"
"We're coming right up to it."
"... Beyond that."
"Beyond that is another small town, miss. My destination is at Rocket Town but Nibelheim is right before that. Is that where you want to stop?"
Nibelheim.
"I was born and raised in Nibelheim—it's not too far from Cosmo Canyon..."
Of course.
Sephiroth ruined this town, Sephiroth was Cloud's hero, Sephiroth burned his town to the ground... and now she had the opportunity to see it with her own eyes. Had Sephiroth left his stain behind? Maybe she'll find her answer here.
"Take me to Nibelheim."
He had no way of communication, his cell phone was completely busted, and the old man hadn't had one on him. He had no choice, and Cosmo Canyon was right up ahead; he can only hope Yuna had gone back there. But his only questions were: why? Why had she suddenly left without him, and without so much as breathing a word? She didn't take the Buggy and even the old man hadn't seen her.
Cloud exhaled; his heart felt heavy with uneasiness. He could only question what happened to her.
First thing that morning, he took the Buggy and headed out to Cosmo Canyon.
He was the wind, he was swooping by swiftly, paying no attention to his thoughts as he made his way up the rock stairs passing the civilian greeting him, reaching the large bonfire where Nanaki and Yuffie stood; they immediately ran toward each other.
"Yuffie, I need your cell phone." Cloud didn't bother with the details, he held out his hand, and Yuffie reluctantly slipped her phone from her back pocket and handed it over. But she didn't let go.
"Cloud, where is everyone? Why are you here alone?"
"I'll explain later." He searched through the contact list, clicking on Tifa's number.
"Barret, I don't get it," said Tifa, as they stood at the cockpit of Shera, her hand balled up into a fist, pressed under her chin.
"What don't you get?"
"What that rebel said... Back at Cosmo Canyon, their 'leader' said they were given orders from Rufus to capture Yuna, but that rebel said Rufus wasn't even involved in the first place. Why did the 'leader' lie?"
"I dunno... maybe the dumbass does want to restore the 'glory' of Shinra. What a load of bullshit," Barret grumbled.
"Yeah..." Tifa only puzzle over what the motives here were, and where Rufus was.
"Hey Cid, ya got any leads as to where Cloud might be?" Barret asked, to his side Cid piloted the ship.
"Don't look at me, I'm waiting for one of you to show me the way," Cid responded.
Tifa sighed, Mideel was obviously out of the question this time. The vibration to her thigh knocked her out of her thoughts, the tune of her ringtone woke her up; she checked her cell. "Yuffie?" She accepted the call. "Yuffie, what's wrong?"
"Tifa, it's me."
On the end of the other line wasn't the energetic voice of Yuffie but instead the stoic tone of Cloud. Her heart leapt, she almost wanted to cry out in relief and joy, but she contained it. Barret could still see the delighted grin on her face.
"Cloud! I can't believe it's you... Where are you? Are you alright? Wait, why do you have Yuffie's phone?"
"I'm back at Cosmo Canyon, and I'm fine... But my cell phone got destroyed by the water."
"So you really did fall into the sea, didn't you? Is Yuna okay?"
Tifa waited for Cloud's response but she heard nothing but a silence that stretched on, and her heart sank with every minute.
"Cloud, what happened to her?"
"She's fine, we both managed to get help at Costa Del Sol. We made it all the way through Gongaga and decided to rest there... but she's gone now."
"What do you mean she's gone?" Tifa asked.
"She just disappeared this morning—I don't know why. Last night she was sleeping on her bed, when I woke up, it was empty. The old guy at the inn never saw her leave, so I have no idea where she went."
"She didn't even leave a note or anything...?"
"No."
Tifa's fingertips massaged at her temple, closing her eyes, she reached into her thoughts for a possible explanation. Unfortunately nothing came up. What could Yuna want that would cause her to leave? Did she even leave in the first place ?
"Maybe she was taken," she said, and she heard no response again, just the sound of Cloud's breath.
"Maybe. Where are you? We need to meet up now."
The ride there was tough, the rivers and rocky roads were bumpy—it was normal to trudge through, though it seemed the driver was used to passing those roads. Their car was eventually left dirty at the tires, mud splashed against the truck itself in specks. "I better take this to Rocket Town to have a clean up—will you be alright here?"
"I'll be fine... I'll find another way back," Yuna answered.
Back where? Back to Cosmo Canyon? Back to Cloud?
She shook every other thought away from her mind and pressed on to the stone path that lead up to the town of Nibelheim. Right away she noted a heavy aura that almost weighted her down. First thing she noticed was the town was small, the exterior had hummed with peace, but the interior hid something, something she couldn't quite put her finger on. For now, the only word she could use to describe this was 'mysterious.'
This town was far from destroyed, the houses were in good condition, there was a sturdy looking well in the center of the town, which children played and sat on. There were stores with the shop owners outside, sweeping filth away from their surroundings. Overall, it was a town—an ordinary town. Nothing stood out for her except maybe the aura, the isolation, and the people, all who turned to stare at her before scurrying away or returning to what they were doing in the first place.
She was new among them, she looked different, and they did their best to avoid her. So far, this town was cold, but it still wasn't ruined, not as ruined as Cloud made it sound. Yet there was still something in the air that stuck to her skin, and she didn't know what it was. This place was unfamiliar to her but it still felt drained, as if it was once alive but now it's gone. Maybe Cloud felt this, if he had ever returned here, and maybe Tifa did too.
Yuna realized she wouldn't find her answer just by standing there and she set out to sought some out, but where to start? First, she entered a shop, the one where one of the shop owners—an old woman—was outside cleaning up.
Inside, it felt warm, maybe because of the furnace to the side, or maybe because it overall looked like a nice place, but it was still silent, there was still that hint of dread within it. The shop itself was fairly big and looked cozy enough, there were items stocked up behind the counter, a few paintings and photographs decorating the walls, and a fireplace. Where the furnace was at, a figure with a black cloak slumped against the wall, the old woman from before, faced the figure with a bowl of stew; she attempted to spoon some into their mouth.
But Yuna wasn't paying attention to the woman, her eyes were locked right onto the figure, and she felt her the goosebumps prickle her skin as they rose. The woman must have sense her presence as she turned to Yuna, and she glared at her. Yuna tried her best not to seem so surprised, but she couldn't help but to feel uneasy at the cloaked figure. Just the same as the one from Edge, the one who stuttered Sephiroth's name, and she learned of his existence.
It couldn't be the same person, could it?
"Do you need something?" The woman said, coldly. "You a costumer? Want to buy something?"
"N... no... I mean, I don't need to buy anything. I was hoping to get some information."
The old woman turned back, the spoon falling back into the bowl with a gentle clink, and she straightened herself out.
"Alright, what about?" She said.
"I, I was just... wondering..." There was a struggle to find the right words, even if the question seemed so simple, and yet with the dread in the air, the tension in the room, it caused Yuna to stumble in her wording. Eventually, she could only manage to push one word from her lips. "Sephiroth."
The old woman's expression remained unchanged, at the stone cold frown as it was before; she passed through Yuna, without looking at her, and Yuna's heart thumped heavily against her chest.
"I, uh, have no idea what you're talking about, miss." The old woman's tone suddenly changed, to sound sweet and clueless, she even smiled and laughed. It was obviously forced, and Yuna felt puzzled.
"What do you mean? Hadn't Sephiroth been here before? Hadn't he destroyed this town?"
"Mm... nope, I have no idea what you're talking about."
Yuna's hands propped against her hips; no, that wasn't good enough, there was something up, she could sense it, there had to be a reason that melancholic feeling was there, there had to be more to this.
"You're lying," Yuna accused. "You're hiding something from me. It feels like you're hiding something."
The woman's smile dropped, she returned to her icy stare, and she remained silent for a minute or two, then she closed her eyes, and muttered, "I guess there's no point anymore... Shinra is no longer in control of us, we just wish to put this whole thing behind us now."
Yuna finally received her answer, yet there was still weight pushing her heart down.
"We aren't the original citizens of this town," said the woman. "The town was rebuilt, Shinra paid a couple of us to start new lives here, and the original citizens either died or..." She turned to the cloaked figure. "Or they became these, a lot of the others disappeared but this one seemed to stay behind. I can't tell who it is, but I like to take care of them just in case, they don't have any family so I feel bad." The woman sighed. "Since then the rest of us just decided to make new lives here, we hadn't had any newcomers come in and ask about Sephiroth or the incident in a while. Sorry for lying, it's habit now."
"But why are they cloaked—who are they? What happened to them?"
The old woman shook her head. "You'd have better luck finding your answers at the Shinra Manor... that's where... they kept all their secrets, a lot of us hadn't really looked in there. Place gives me the creeps, I think it's haunted."
"The Shinra Manor?"
"Yeah, just up the hill from here, barely at the outskirts of this town. You can't miss it."
The word 'haunted' didn't sound pleasant, but it was all she had for now.
"Okay," said Yuna, nodding. "I'll go take a look over there then, and thank you."
"Be careful." The old woman's stare remained icy; she didn't take her eyes off of Yuna. "It's dangerous."
"I'm aware," and Yuna left the shop.
When the woman called this place haunted, she certainly wasn't exaggerating. Yuna had spotted no ghosts or monsters—at least, not yet. The large manor was abandoned, dust piled on furniture, the floorboards creaked with every step, and none the of the lighting worked, leaving rooms in the dark besides the light spilling in from the windows. It was eerie to just stand there, but she couldn't turn back now.
She started her search within the rooms, searching through every drawer, cupboard, bookcase and anything she could get her hands on, scanning every corner. She found nothing useful, nothing that stood out, just dusty everyday books and knick-knacks. She even searched under the beds, in hopes to find some hidden clues. There was even an empty safe in one of the rooms, something that left her with fallen hope as she hit another dead end.
Yuna slumped into a bedroom, feeling defeated, and threw herself against a bed; she felt exhausted. "I must have missed something," she whispered to herself. "They're connected—the pieces are definitely here." Time to pick them up.
She sat up, sitting in her silence, brainstorming any other ideas. "I could search the manor again." With a place this big there had to be something lying around.
For an old, forgotten bed, it still felt comfortable enough for her to lay back down on; she needed this breather, she needed this time to think. What was she doing again? Going after another threat of the world, seems like she's always doing this; she can never turn it down.
Her thoughts were lost, captured in a deep focus, steering her attention away from the rest of the world, she hadn't noticed the mysterious red ribbon like entity floating into the room, just as she stared up at the ceiling.
The entity floated down to the floor, as a jet of smoke, slowly from the smoke emerged a tall dark figure, dressed in crimson; Yuna felt his eyes on her, and she turned, then gasped. "Who are you?!" She jolted from the bed, sitting up right, immediately setting up a defense stance.
The man lifted a hand up—one where he wore a golden gauntlet, his fingers stretched out, indicating that he meant no harm. "I'm not an enemy."
His wardrobe, his eyes, and his overall demeanor was intimidating, she's only known two people who had come close to this, and even they weren't as dark.
"Then who are you?" Yuna questioned.
"... Vincent."
"Alright, Vincent, I'm Yuna." Yuna stared at the worn out rug beneath her feet. "Am I interrupting something? Why are you here?"
"I live here."
"Oh! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to intrude." However, deep down inside, she questioned the choice of housing, and why anyone would live there. Then she remembered how Vincent looked and thought it was actually quite fitting, but maybe she's judging too much on appearance.
"You're not intruding," said Vincent, his voice remained dull and undisturbed, it reminded Yuna a little of Cloud, but even Cloud had more life than him than this strange man.
"Then... what are you doing here?"
Vincent didn't respond right away, he scratched at his head with his right hand, the one without the gauntlet, clearly thinking. "Aren't you the summoner?"
"You know about me?!" Yuna didn't remove herself from her defensive stance, and she frowned.
"Reeve called me, he knew you were being held captive by rebels, we were... trying to rescue you."
"O-oh?" Yuna's shoulders relaxed. "You knew about me, you were actually trying to help me." She remembered the name Reeve, as it was popped up by the Turks, someone who even called them for help. Cloud mentioned he was good, he was a friend who helped him. She was reluctant but she nodded toward Vincent, placing her trust on him. "I'm sorry then."
Vincent waved his hand at her, waving off her apology. "Think nothing of it."
"I, um, can you help me?" Yuna clasped her hands together, in some sort of attempt to show how much in need she was. "I'm trying to find some information... on... on Shinra." That wasn't exactly a lie, Sephiroth was connected to Shinra, and Shinra had to have known something about him. Vincent's crimson eyes focused on her, but they didn't bore into her, as menacing as he looked, his eyes spoke differently.
"What for?" He asked.
"I'm... curious and would like to find out more about them."
Her reasoning was weak and that much she can see in Vincent's face—he wasn't convinced, even if his face remained as still and blank as before.
"... Follow me."
Yuna smiled, feeling relief soothe her body. "Thank you so much!" Her smile turned brighter; she wanted to show her gratitude as much as she could. Vincent's crimson cape flowed behind him as he moved toward a cylinder brick wall, just right beside a bookcase, the cape was torn to the bottom, and yet it flowed like water and silk. The brick wall slid open, revealing a hidden door; Yuna gasped.
Of course, so that's why the entire mansion was barren of any source, it made much more sense to hide it.
Beyond the hidden door, there were rickety-looking wooden spiral stairs leading down, Vincent glided down easily, Yuna levered herself on the brick wall as she followed. It was as if she stepped underground, literally underground, no room, just a burrow of rock surrounding her. Vincent didn't look back, didn't stop, not even when Yuna paused to gawk at the room. A few steps later, however, and she paused again, this time to scan the wooden door to the left; Vincent hadn't stopped to point it out.
"What's in there?" Yuna asked.
"Where I sleep." That was all he said, again, he didn't turn back, and Yuna hurried along.
Vincent pushed open a door that led to a room that reeked of old chemicals, a very unpleasant smell that might've caused her to feel sick, if strong enough. There were large tubes to the side, desks filled with papers and beakers, and other equipment she didn't recognize; they all look worn and dusty.
"Is this what you want?" Vincent gestured to the bookcases to the opposite end of the room, forming a row, leading down to the end of the room where there was a desk, and more bookcases, forming a wall around it; Yuna was amazed.
"Is that... all of it, all of the information I need?" she said.
"Whatever you need is probably in there."
"I can never thank you enough! But wait, why are you helping me anyway?"
"Is there a reason I shouldn't be?"
She nibbled on her bottom lip, turning away, her eyes focusing on the books scattered across the floor.
"No, I guess not..." Yuna bent down, scooping the first document she could find, and she turned to the first page, immediately losing herself in its words.
Vincent leaned against one of the bookcases, his cell phone at hand, passing through the constant messages Yuffie bombarded him with, he found a few of Cloud's, his last message was around a month ago, over something small... this situation wasn't small, was it?
"Don't tell Cloud I'm here yet."
He heard her voice beckoning to him and all he could do was respond with silence. Reeve told him one of his employees rebelled, kidnapping a summoner, attempting to reach the president. His employee knew the involvement of Cloud. There was no doubt they were connected.
And yet here she was—alone. No Cloud in sight. Vincent couldn't just keep this to himself, his message was typed out, but he didn't press send.
"Why don't you want him to know?" He asked.
"I... I don't know, I feel like I may know how to take care of him. These documents—they speak of Jenova as an Ancient, and Sephiroth's mother, is he an Ancient then?"
"No, he's not. Jenova's not his real mother."
"O-oh?"
"His father... is a man named Hojo."
Yuna froze at her spot, taken back, even if she hadn't shown it in her face very well, and Vincent matched her stare, locking eyes on her till she eventually blinked and turned away.
"The man in these documents is named Hojo—Professor Hojo. He was the one who experimented on Jenova, on... a lot of things. I was so confused—and disgusted, I think he mentioned experimentation... on people? This is so sad. Is Sephiroth one of them? Was he, too, an experimentation?"
Vincent didn't answer; he believed she already knew the answer to that, it was right there, in the documents.
"Okay, so," Yuna finally stepped out of the row of books, a pile of papers at hand, "some of these documents talk about the destruction of Nibelheim—Sephiroth is declared dead—by Hojo. So... is he really dead?"
"No." Vincent's stern reply earned him a frown from the young woman, so he went on. "No, not technically."
"Not technically... but he is in some way," Yuna said, Vincent stared at her with confusion. "It's okay, I know what I must do now. I understand now." She discarded the files on a pile below. "Thank you, Vincent, I have what I need now, we can leave now."
"Did you read the rest of the files?"
"No...? I've only read the ones I can find of Sephiroth. Oh! But I did find others, about clones? It seemed Hojo held two other 'subjects', but I couldn't find anything else about them, I didn't think to look hard enough. It's alright though, I have my answer, and I think it's time for me to move on."
She nodded; Vincent had no clue as to what her plan may be, but she smiled, and hurried out of the laboratory. His thumb was still on the send button, hesitant on giving his message to Cloud, even if Yuna asked him not to. But he felt it was better for him to know, besides, she got what she wanted, but would she want Cloud to interfere?
"This isn't your fight..." Vincent mumbled, but Yuna was already out of ear-shot.
[NO SUBJECT]
To: Cloud
From: Vincent
Date: XX-XX-XXXX
There's a summoner named Yuna here, in Nibelheim. Thought you would like to know.
He pressed send.
Setting foot outside Shinra Manor, Yuna halted and twisted back around, wondering if she should go back and fetch Vincent, and ask him to accompany her back to find Cloud. Her goal was to venture back to Cosmo Canyon and apologize for her sudden departure, she realized now that it was probably foolish of her to do so. But now that she had what she wanted, she needed to see him again.
It's risky, but now she knew only she would be able to truly stop him.
She pondered her decision to bring Vincent along for a moment, after all, he was friends with Cloud. But it wouldn't be long anyway, she would set out on her own again. But she still wanted, with all her might, to seek him out and at least tell him she'd be gone a little longer. "This is your fight, Cloud," she murmured to herself. "But I think... I think I can stop him on my own. You should sit this one out, let me take care of the rest."
Yuna couldn't lie to herself, she was still anxious, but she stared threat before in the eye, and she found a way—she always found a way. She decided she couldn't wait any longer, she should depart on her own, seek out Cloud herself. This should be something between them, after all.
Yuna strode down the steps, along the paths, passed the shops, the houses, the inn, and the well, she was in hurry to get out with the feeling of inspiration swimming in her veins; she came to a standstill, the sight of Shera off in the distance caught in her vision and never left her eye; her hands clenched to fists. Too late. He found out. At least this saved her the trouble to travel...
Her long steps became small, and she took baby steps to the outskirts of town, arms folding across her torso, almost looking timid enough,as if she walked in defeat, but the moment Cloud approached her, she felt just small amount of that weight leave her, and she walked right up to him, wanting to open her arms and bring him closer to a small embrace, but she kept them to herself.
As soon as they faced each other, she bowed.
"I'm so sorry," she said. "I didn't mean to make you worry, I just had to..." But what could she even say to explain her situation; she ran off, she didn't talk to him, she felt anxious, she still feels anxious, and now she's about to run off again, just because... she worries. "You... you inspired me."
"Inspired?" Cloud questioned. "You... went all the way out here to visit my hometown. What inspired you to do that?"
"You! Er, don't get me wrong, I wasn't planning coming to here, exactly, but I remembered what you said... about Sephiroth and the town's destruction, all I wanted was to see if he left anything behind."
"Leave anything behind?" Cloud knitted his brows, and she could tell he disapproved. "You're not looking for him, are you?"
"No," Yuna lowered her head, grasping her forearm with her other hand. "Not yet, anyway."
"Not yet?!"
"Listen to me, Sephiroth keeps coming to me in my dreams, it's happened more than once, he obviously wants something from me. I just don't know what. I needed to find out more on him—to find a way to stop him." She avoided Cloud's eyes, facing the town behind her, she saw the crimson figure of Vincent walking out; so he did tell Cloud. At least she didn't make Vincent promise. "Only I can stop him."
Her breath was almost knocked out of her, escaping in a shocked gasp when a pair of strong hands firmly grasped her shoulders; she turned back to Cloud, this time facing him up close, looking him right in his intense and frustrated blue eyes.
"You underestimate him," Cloud's voice was firm and heavy, making it clear enough so that it stuck to Yuna, touching her deeply. "Even I can't kill him off—not completely, you know this, I told you. I've been going at him for years now, and it's going to continue that way till I find a way. You can't do this, he'll only hurt you."
"He's dead, isn't he?" Yuna retorted. "That means I know how to stop him! He is an unsent—the unsent can't go back to the Lifestream unless a summoner performs a sending, and only I know how to do that. Sephiroth refuses to accept death and he is consumed by hate... so I must find him and guide him—guide him to the Farplane—the Lifestream, where he can finally rest, and so you can finally rest too."
"You don't understand..." Cloud's grip grew tighter but not enough to hurt, just enough that Yuna felt the heat of his emotions. "He uses the Lifestream to his advantage, he's a lot stronger than you think."
"I know and I am prepared."
Cloud closed his eyes, this time he turned away to avoid eye contact with her. She couldn't read his thoughts properly, but she knew he was still unhappy with her decision.
"The last time someone tried to take care of him on her own... was killed by him," Cloud said, his voice dripping with sorrow, and Yuna caught her breath in her throat. "I don't want to lose you too."
Her hand hastily slid up, covering Cloud's, and matching his firm grip, his fingers closed around her fingers, and she closed hers around his palm.
"So let me... let me handle it instead," Cloud whispered, his voice soft enough that his frustration left him, replaced with exhaustion.
"Then I'll help," Yuna whispered back. "Because I care about you."
Those words tickled at his ear, at first sounding unreal to him, like he imagined it, and he truly questioned that. Did he imagine it? The truth was he cared about her too, but he hadn't known just how deep that feeling bore into him; Cloud held her hand carefully—he had actually lost count of how many times he has done this already. His head felt heavy...
Yuna's words escaped her, she watched as the glare from Cloud's face drop, the intensity didn't leave his eyes though, they glinted brilliantly, and she was left breathless. What happened next surprised her, stiffening her posture for a moment, but only to relax right after; Cloud's temple pressed against her shoulder, and her arms wouldn't budge even though her mind told her to make a move, but slowly, she did. Arms snaked around Cloud's torso, holding him.
To Cloud's side, he felt safe, a strange sense of tranquil especially with her arms around him, and he didn't shy away from it, like he normally would do. But why doesn't he? She was so close and yet he had all this torment bottled up, it would swallow her up, yet here she was, comforting him, warming him. He had no idea what has gotten into him, he felt like he was intruding her. She didn't push away, she accepted him, so maybe, he shouldn't push away either.