New chapter! Sorry it took so long to update. School has been a crazy mess.
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Quinn woke up to a slightly snoring brunette snuggling into her shoulder. She didn't know how it happened, but at some point in the night Santana's hand must have found its way to Quinn's because their fingers ended up interlaced.

Quinn started rubbing her thumb across Santana's forefinger in odd patterns, doodling her name and silly shapes.

It was comforting, lying there with Santana cuddled up next to her. Santana was the picture of relaxation. Something Quinn knew she hardly ever let herself feel, save for the times when she was on stage or looking up towards the night sky.

They hadn't been this close since their movie nights during sophomore year. Quinn missed how at some point in the middle of the night they'd always end up closer than they had intended. Well, at least, closer than she thought Santana had intended. But Quinn always enjoyed being in close proximity with Santana.

Santana made noises in her sleep as if she was dreaming about something really intense, but they were cute, nonetheless.

Why couldn't they just stay like that? All Quinn wanted was for Santana to know how she really felt. It wasn't helping her keeping it all bottled inside.

Kurt had mentioned something the night before about it.

"Why don't you just tell her how you feel? She checks you out enough for the world to know she wants to get her macks on with you," Kurt said in a mock impersonation of Santana.

"But my feelings for her go further than just kissing. I really care about her, Kurt. If I tell her how I feel and she doesn't like me back, it could change our friendship. I don't want that. We're just now getting back to how we used to be."

"Or maybe you're scared she likes you back," Kurt peaked an eyebrow at her.

Quinn grunted in exasperation. "Either way, me saying how I feel will change us, and I don't know if I'm ready for that. Can't I just keep flirting with her from a safe distance like I have been for the past four years?"

"Um, no, honey. You're getting way too obvious. Even Rachel is starting to pick up on it. She told me about that little neck kiss you gave Santana on the dance floor a few weeks ago," Kurt glared at Quinn before his eyes softened when he realized Quinn had slumped over a little in defeat. "Listen, wouldn't it make you feel better to finally get it off your chest? If you guys can go back to being best friends within a day after being distant for two years, don't you think you can handle any feelings the two of you might have for each other? You both might be stubborn, but your friendship has always been strong."

"I guess," Quinn sighed.

"Well, I know, and if Santana says anything bitchy, just let me know, and I'll egg her car or her face or something," Kurt joked.

"I'm pretty sure they would never find your body after that. As much as I appreciate you looking out for me, I just want Santana to be happy, even if I'm not the cause of it. Her happiness is what matters most to me."

Maybe it was time to tell Santana once and for all. If just to find out if she could be the one to make her happy or not.

But she could wait a few more hours until then. This could be the last time they were this close, and she didn't want to waste it.

Quinn looked over at the clock on the nightstand to see it was still fairly early, and she knew she didn't have anything to do today, so she let herself find comfort in the arms of Santana for just a little while longer.

I opened my eyes, but all I could see was blonde. Blonde hair everywhere. She smelled just like those tulips.

I moved my head up from her neck to see her face. She looked so peaceful when she slept. Almost like an angel.

How did I end up getting so close to her? I remember us getting into bed after I found her a pair of my sweats. I knew I couldn't handle Quinn in my bed in just her underwear and a shirt, but I was pretty sure we didn't hop into the bed intent on cuddling.

Funny how I was the one with my arm wrapped around her and my head fitting into the crook of her neck. On her side of the bed. I guess I had just drifted to the one person I really wanted to be closest to.

Thanks to brilliant sleeping me I got to hold onto a beautiful Quinn Fabray. I could appreciate that.

She really didn't have to wash her sheets today. She could stay in my bed as long as she wanted. I wasn't usually one for cuddling, but holding her like that made me feel something I hadn't felt in a really long time. Safe.

She scrunched up her nose a bit and turned her face to the side so that if her eyes were open she would have been looking right up at me.

What would she have thought if she had caught me cuddling into her like this with such a dopey grin on my face? I decided I better unwrap myself from her.

But not before I gave her a kiss on her forehead. I couldn't resist. The way the light was shining on her from the window made her the prettiest thing I'd ever seen.

"Mmm.."

Shit.

Her eyes fluttered open, and she just looked up at me with a smile that made my whole body shiver.

How could someone look so stunning that early in the morning?

I gave her a shy smile in return, a little embarrassed she had caught me kissing her forehead with my arm still laying over her stomach and holding her hand in mine.

"You're beautiful when you just wake up," she whispered so quietly I could barely hear.

"Not as beautiful as you, ba- QB," I stuttered.

I really wanted to call her baby instead of that stupid nickname.

She looked at me curiously. "You ever going to tell me what that stands for, San?" she yawned as she stretched her arms out over her head.

Jesus. Talk about forgetting how to breathe. That button up shirt she was wearing somehow managed to get a little less buttoned in her sleep. Though, I don't know how. I definitely would have remembered if I had been the one doing the unbuttoning.

She might as well have just been naked with the expression I was giving her- mouth open and eyes wide.

Oh, Quinn naked. That's something I had seen because of cheerleading, but thinking of her naked in my bed was a new thought that had never occurred to me until right then.

"S?" she waved a hand in front of my face. "You there?"

"What? Yeah, I'm totally here. In bed. With you," I mumbled.

She giggled before another yawn escaped her lips.

Why did she have to make this so torturous for me? So wonderfully torturous.

I'm sure she thought this was just something friends do, but for me it was so much more.

"So, are you going to tell me what it means?" she asked again as she closed her eyes and pulled me more into her.

Maybe it was safe to tell her. I had been considering telling her over the past three weeks. If I just told her then I wouldn't have to worry about it anymore. She'd probably just laugh it off, and that would be the end of it. Perhaps my feelings for her would go away after I said it out loud.

"Um, Quinn…" I began.

"Yes."

"The Q stands for Quinn."

She opened her eyes and started to sit up. "Makes sense. That's a good sign. I was kind of hoping QB didn't stand for quarter back or something," she laughed. "What's the rest of it stand for?"

"You remember that time on my roof?" I asked.

"Which time on your roof? There were many times on your roof. Some of them drunken others of them…" she trailed off and looked down.

I knew she remembered that night. The night after Coach Sue wouldn't stop yelling at me for messing up at cheer practice. Quinn was the only person that knew why I was messing up, why I was too distracted to try and focus on a cheer routine.

The previous night my father had gotten really drunk after work. He got drunk almost every day after work, but no one really knew except for me, my mami, and Quinn. My father was an angry drunk. The kind that yelled and hit walls. I understood that the pressures of being a doctor and having people's lives in your hands must have been tremendous, but I didn't think it gave him permission to be such an asshole.

That night he spent ten minutes yelling slurred obscenities at my mother before he threw his fist in the air and let it land down hard on my mother's cheek. He raised his fist again before I ran in front of my mother to block his punch.

I proceeded to tell him to fuck off.

He could say all he wanted to me. He could tell me my dreams of being on stage were ridiculous. He could tell me Glee club was pointless and that it would get me nowhere in life. He could even tell me he hated me for liking girls, but I wouldn't let him lay another hand on my mother. I'd rather he beat me, and he did.

He pushed me so hard into the kitchen counter that I fell to the floor. He added an extra few kicks to my stomach to show just how much he didn't care about my opinion before walking off into his study to pour himself another glass of scotch.

There's a reason I never drank scotch. It could create a devil.

I ended up with some pretty narly bruises on my hip and on the side of my ribs. I was thankful no one had noticed all day until Quinn ran up to me after class and gave me an over the top hug that left me wincing. She had immediately pulled back and asked if I was alright, concern filling her eyes.

I tried to play everything off like I was fine, but she dragged me into the locker rooms and demanded I tell her what was going on. It wasn't long before I caved in and told her what happened. She always had a way of breaking down any walls I tried to put up.

My father had never laid a hand on either of us before that night.

I had never seen so much anger flash over Quinn's face. I assured her I wasn't going to let him hurt my mother again, but she was more worried about me.

I still went to practice after school. I had a pretty good tolerance for pain, but Coach wasn't going easy on me. I didn't have the patience to go through the same routine a hundred times over. It didn't take long before I lost focus and began replaying the image of my mother getting hit over and over again in my head.

"The night you found me on my roof after all of that stuff went down with my father," I started.

She nodded to tell me to continue.

"Remember how you just held me? It, um, it made me feel things. You just let me get everything out." I took a deep breath. "Being in that house always felt more like a prison than a home."

Her eyes started to glaze over a bit, and crying was the last thing I wanted to make her do.

"No, no, you made everything better." I assured her and grabbed her hand. "You made me forget that my father was in his study getting drunk again. You made me forget about Coach being a bitch. For the first time you made me feel like everything wasn't so bad. You just let me look at the stars, and feel safe in your arms. Quinn, you made me feel safe."

A single tear fell from her left eye. I wiped it away before it even got to the side of her nose.

"It was silly, but when I finally was able to say something to you, to thank you, I almost called you baby," I chuckled trying to lighten the mood.

"But I knew you'd probably think I was weird for calling you that so I settled on a nickname instead. QB. B for baby." Saying it out loud really did sound kind of ridiculous, but what was I to do about that?

"Quinn, no one has ever been able to make me feel so comfortable in their arms to the point where no worries existed. I haven't felt safe since then except for this morning when you scrunched up your nose like a cute little-"

I didn't even have a chance to finish my sentence before she pushed her lips onto mine.

God, was it the most glorious thing I had ever felt. Her lips against mine were like all of the stars in the world were igniting inside my brain, and I was feeling the aftershocks all through my body. She may have just kissed me on my lips, but I felt her everywhere.

She must have taken my shock and lack of movement as me not wanting to kiss her back. She slowly moved away and let space fill between our faces before I realized that I was giving her the wrong impression.

All I wanted to do was kiss Quinn.

I lifted my hand up to her cheek and gave her a quick smile before bringing her lips back into mine.

The kiss was soft and passionate at first. I really wanted to show her how comfortable and safe she made me feel. She needed to know. I needed her to know.

She grabbed onto my neck and pulled me in closer, deepening the kiss. She was absolutely delicious. I let my hands drift down to her sides, hugging onto her hips as she traced her tongue over my bottom lip.

I parted my lips and let her tongue find its way to mine.

She leaned over until she pulled herself on top of me, straddling me, hastening the kiss.

I could barely breathe. Quinn's lips on my lips. Her body on mine. My hands touching her smooth skin. My mind was racing with her intoxication. I had to stop before I let myself go crazy and fully lost myself in everything that was Quinn Fabray.

I slowed the kiss down as a few whimpers escaped Quinn's mouth.

God, that wonderful sound did not help my breathing at all.

I gave her a few more soft kisses until I opened my eyes up at her, and she was breathing heavily against my lips.

"Quinn," I started.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that," she breathed out, apparently as out of breath as I was.

"What?" I asked a little confused.

A nervous smile appeared on her face.

What just happened?

I just kissed Quinn. Quinn just kissed me. But wasn't Quinn straight? She said I had no idea how long she wanted to kiss me. I really didn't. I didn't know anything except that kissing Quinn was my new favorite thing.

All of the sudden, Quinn jumped off of me. A panic rose inside of me.

"I, um, I have to go. I need to talk to one of my professors," Quinn lied. "I'll be back later."

And with that she ran out of the room. I heard the front door close a few moments later.

Shit. What did I just do? What the fuck just happened? Why did Quinn just run off?

I couldn't move, still in shock from the taste of Quinn on my lips and her abruptly leaving me with a million thoughts and questions running through my mind.

Quinn shut the door to their apartment and let herself slide down onto the floor in the hallway.

She didn't even think about what she was doing when she went to kiss Santana. All of the things that Santana had said about Quinn making her feel safe made her heart explode. Enough to the point where the only way she could show her she felt the same was with touch, a kiss.

It was overwhelming having a dream turned into reality. Never did Quinn think that she would ever kiss Santana, let alone have Santana kiss her back.

For a moment, Quinn thought she had made the wrong decision when Santana didn't make any movement when she pressed her lips against hers, and Quinn backed away before she could make a bigger fool of herself. But to her surprise, Santana smiled and pulled her back into the kiss.

The kiss was more than anything Quinn could have imagined. Santana was gentle, but full of fire. The way her hands found their way to Quinn's hips and held onto them made it seem like she was holding on for dear life.

Quinn wanted more. She needed to feel more of Santana, all of her, but as quick as the kiss had started, it seemed like it was over and there they were, Quinn on top of Santana, both of them gasping for air as if they had just run a marathon.

Quinn surprised herself when she admitted how long she had wanted to kiss Santana.

The look on Santana's face scared Quinn to her core.

Santana didn't look afraid, shocked, or even nervous, simply curious.

It was then that it hit Quinn exactly what she had just done. That she had completely changed their relationship. She could never take that kiss back or the acknowledgment of her feelings.

She needed to get out of there, out of Santana's bed and embrace. She needed to think about what all of that meant.

So, Quinn did what Quinn did best. She ran.

She ran away from her feelings. She ran away from the moment she had dreamt about for years. She ran away from the one person she wanted to run towards.

She needed to talk to someone about this. Kurt was her best and only option.

She got up from her sitting position, thankful she grabbed her phone in her rush to get away from the internal chaos that Santana's lips caused.

Quinn fumbled with her fingers before she was able to type out an intelligible text message.

QUINN: NEED TO TALK NOW. Rachel isn't home, is she?

Quinn made her way down the stairs and towards her destination when her phone vibrated in her pocket.

KURT: Oh, geez. What happened? No, she's on a brunch date with Brody. Get over here.

It didn't take long before Quinn ended up at Kurt and Rachel's apartment. She didn't even have a chance to knock before Kurt flung the door open and pulled her inside.

"Oh, honey, what happened?" Kurt asked as he put his arms around her in a tight hug.

She didn't even realize she was crying until she saw the wet splotches on Kurt's shirt.

"We- I- in her bed and-" Quinn tried to get out between sobs.

"Bed?" Kurt asked with a slightly higher pitch than usual, which only made Quinn cry more intensely. "Here, sit down. I'll get you a glass of water." He motioned for her to take a seat on the sofa, and then made his way into the kitchen.

He came back to a still crying Quinn and handed her the glass of water.

She drank the whole glass before attempting to speak again.

"Start from the beginning. What happened?" Kurt put his hand on Quinn's shoulder in a comforting manner and gave her a sincere smile.

"I spilled Orange Fanta all over my bed last night."

She didn't make any attempt to continue so Kurt nodded on. "And that made you really sad?" Obviously not buying that a soda would make her this upset.

"I ended up sleeping in Santana's bed. I woke up, and she was cuddled into me."

Kurt laughed at the image. Never in a million years would he have pictured Santana cuddling, but apparently it was possible.

"Shut up," she laughed back. Her crying had stopped, and she had finally started to calm down. "I tried to fall back asleep, but I couldn't. I didn't want to let go of her holding onto me. Then she kissed my forehead. I think I surprised her when she realized I was awake."

A smile started forming on Quinn's face remembering how sweet Santana was.

"Continue. I want to know how you got from cute forehead kisses to you looking like a hot crying mess, no offense," Kurt remarked.

"She started talking to me about how I made her feel safe, and it took everything in me to pay attention to what she was saying without pouncing on her."

"Little too much information on that last bit, Quinn."

"Sorry, anyways, she was being incredibly sweet with everything she was saying, and it was this perfect moment. I didn't know how to articulate how I felt with words so I just sort of took a chance and kissed her."

"What?!" Kurt shrieked. "Finally! Took you long enough," he hopped up and down on the sofa in excitement.

Quinn chuckled. "It was incredible. It was better than anything I've ever felt. Seriously, words cannot describe how connected I felt to her, how beautiful she was in that moment, how much I never wanted to let go, how much I just wanted to show her how much I love her in every way possible," Quinn gushed.

"As happy as I am for you, now I have the picture of you trying to jump Santana's bones roaming around in my head, and it's an awful thing for me to imagine."

"Kurt! I can't help it. She's everything, and you know how much I care about her."

"I guess this has been years in the making," he shrugged. "If you ladies kissed and it was magical and all, I don't understand why you were crying."

Quinn's faced dropped, and she felt tears starting to form in her eyes.

"I freaked out. I didn't know what to do. I had imagined it for so long that when it actually happened, I didn't know what to think. Everything in my body felt like it was on fire, and everything in my mind became an instant mess," she paused. "I left."

Kurt's jaw dropped.

"I left and came here. It probably wasn't the best thing to do."

"No, I don't think that was the smartest idea you've ever had, but I can understand why you did it," Kurt sympathized.

"Kurt, I love her. What if I just ruined everything? Not because we kissed because she kissed me right back just as much as I kissed her. But because I ran out. I have no idea what she's thinking right now. She probably hates me," Quinn placed her head in her hands and slunk even further into the sofa.

Kurt took a breath and thought about his response.

"You kissed her, but you didn't tell her that you love her, did you?" he asked.

She shook her head.

He sighed. "She's probably just as confused as you. Quinn, I've told you before, and I'll tell you again. From the way she looks at you, anyone can tell she has some sort of feelings for you. You need to figure out what they are, and you need to tell her how you really feel. You can't half ass it with a kiss and run away. I don't care how scared you are. You know you can't run away from her. You've never been able to."

Quinn let what Kurt said soak in. He was right. She couldn't run away this time.