Chapter 13

It was somewhere around 8 p.m. and Atlantis was tucking her son in the bed, silently singing a lullaby. The little boy was running around the homestead the whole day, making it impossible for Matthew and his Ma to talk.

Matthew was making some tea in the main room, remembering the day that was slowly fading away. As the sound of Atlantis' soft voice as she put her son to sleep reached his ears, Matthew remembered one particular scene that was saved deep in his heart. Little Matthew asked him to teach him how to ride a horse. Of course, he was more than willing to do so. Assuming that his Mummy will protest at first – like she actually did – the little boy whispered confidentially to Matthew She can't say no when both of us ask! Matthew smiled even now when he remembered those words. The boy was right, though. Matthew took in Atlantis' facial expression as he asked her to let him teach her son how to ride a horse. Her eyes filled with tears and she didn't say anything, just nodded and quickly disappeared inside the house. It was only later, when the little one was catching up on lessons and started to giggle in joy that she stepped out on the porch, watching them. At first, Matthew didn't notice her as he was preoccupied with watching out that the horse didn't get spooked. The child's giggles found a way into his heart and he couldn't help but laugh. Everything that happened to him the last few years caused him to close his heart, to not get attached to people. Too many people left him; some of them never wanted to, but life had different plans. His Mum and Ingrid, they were among those people.

And then there were other people, such as his biological Father. Matthew stopped referring to Ethan as a father a long time ago. He was like a stranger to him, a stranger that he never wanted to get to know better again. Too many tears had been spilled on his pillow in his childhood because of that man. Nobody knew about the pain Ethan had caused him. Matthew never talked about his feelings; he swallowed all tears.

And then there was Emma. She just left. He never said it out loud, but subconsciously, during the first year after she left, Matthew silently wished that she had come back…or at least send a letter to him.

But, it never happened.

Whenever he got too close to people, he would end up disappointed. That's why he was sometimes distant from his own family…And he assured himself that it was for the best. He will live alone and stay alone for the rest of his days. Due to everything that he went through, he thought that was the best decision. That way nobody would get hurt.

But, it all changed when his little sister Katie was born. He couldn't push that adorable baby away. Since the first moment he took that precious little baby in his arms, Matthew felt that something broke inside of him. Very soon, he became Katie's favorite person in the whole wide world. Very often, he looked after her while Dr. Mike and Sully had to work and those were the moments that he treasured dearly. Katie never got tired, she was always full of energy and every new day was a new adventure for her. She and Matthew would play at the homestead one day, cook their own special meal the next day and go for a swim the third day.

And every time when Katie had to go home, Matthew felt a terrible emptiness in his house…and in his soul.

And today…today was something different. Today it felt like the puzzle of his life was complete; it felt like the final pieces finally fell into the right place. Today, he enjoyed teaching little Matthew how to ride and how to brush a horse, how to feed him…Listening to the little boy's happy squealing as a horse took food from his hand, Matthew felt like the wall around his heart cracked a bit.

And it was then when his eyes stopped at the porch of his house. Atlantis stood there and just watched two of them…not saying a thing, not moving at all…

The sight of her took his breath away. Her long brown hair gently hugged her shoulders and upper arms, soft curls lifted up by a gentle breeze that sang around the homestead. Her eyes were resting on his face and as the minutes passed by, they filled with tears, causing her left palm to slightly cover her lips. He saw as she looked down at her feet and, taking a shivering breath, she sat down at the bench on the porch. And even though Matthew looked away from her and went back to the little boy and the riding lessons, he could still feel her eyes on him.

About an hour later, he looked back at the porch, only to notice that she wasn't sitting on the bench anymore. And just as he thought how sad and empty the house looked without her now and went toward the chicken coop with little Matthew in his arms, Atlantis stepped outside, wiping her hands with a kitchen towel. She looked toward the chicken coop and simply called out to them "Supper is ready."

At hearing those words, Matthew held his breath.

Wasn't this what he always wanted? To come back home from his job, to a house full of kids…and to a wife who waited for him with a gentle smile, and then to sit at the table to eat the supper as they recalled the past day…

And as little Matthew chatted about how he enjoyed his day, Matthew couldn't help but to ask himself…

Was it possible to have all that after everything that happened?

"Go wash your hands, young man, you look like a little pig," Atlantis teased her son and the little boy ran toward the sink, giggling. Atlantis turned her head to look at Matthew, "I hope you don't mind that I made us a supper."

"Of course not," replied Matthew, not being able to look away from her brown eyes. "But, you shouldn't have to bother, you should take it easy. I could have fixed us something to eat."

"Oh, it really wasn't a bother at all!" Atlantis smiled nervously. The last thing she wanted was to make him feel uncomfortable. She looked at her feet, cursing herself and thinking that she overreacted with a supper.

Noticing her discomfort, Matthew took off his hat and went toward the stove.

"Smells good," she heard his voice and flinched. Turning around, she saw him leading her son to the table and helping him to sit.

Once again, she felt the tears burning in the back of her eyes as she watched how caring Matthew was with her son…

Pulling the curtain that separated the rooms, Atlantis tiptoed from where her son slept and went toward the table.

"Is he sleeping?" asked Matthew, looking up at her.

"Totally out," Atlantis softly smiled.

"Good," smiled Matthew. Noticing a pain flickering across Atlantis' face, he quickly got up. "Here, let me help you," gently, his hands touched her right shoulder and her waist, helping her to sit down.

She closed her eyes, breathing heavily; her ribs still sore. "You all right?" upon hearing Matthew's concerned voice, Atlantis opened her eyes and tried to smile. "Yeah. It was just an exciting day."

Her eyes rested on his face as he still stood there, beside her, his palm still on her shoulder.

"I made some willow bark tea for you, it should help you," he said, quickly busying himself with a cup on the table.

As his hand put a cup on the table in front of her, Atlantis stared at it, absently shaking her head.

"Atlantis?" Matthew called her name silently.

She blinked fast and shivered at this simple gesture from him, the concern in his voice…these few days had been too much for her to handle.

"Why are you so nice to me?" she silently mumbled, causing Matthew to crease his eyebrows.

"What?!," he softly asked, confusion and disbelief taking over him.

"Heart is right. I don't deserve more than I already have," her voice was barely audible.

"Atlantis, Atlantis, no. Atlantis, listen to me," Matthew said as he sat down beside her and took her hands gently in his palms. "I'm not going to let you believe that, Atlantis. Nobody deserves to go through such a hell like you did. Hey, look at me," he insisted as she turned her head away from him. "Atlantis…remember when I told you how special you are?" at those words, Atlantis looked back at him, tears rolling down her cheeks. He cupped her face with his palms; gently wiping her tears. "I still think that." As she shivered, Matthew moved his chair toward hers and pulled her into his embrace.

That was when Atlantis broke down in tears. As he felt her hiding her face into his chest, Matthew gently caressed her hair "That's it. Let it all out," as her sobs increased, he whispered, "I'm here, Atlantis. I'm here. Everything will be all right. You're safe now."

It was like a dream. A dream that she had so often; him holding her in his arms and telling her that everything will be all right.

"I didn't have a choice, Matthew," he heard her voice, shattered with tears, "I didn't have a choice."

"Tell me," he whispered, still holding her close to him.

"She gave me no choice. When we left Colorado, Heart and I joined another circus, although she said that she would give me a normal life. There was this man, the owner of the circus. I don't know for what, but Heart owed him lots of money. One evening she came to me, completely tearful and broken down, begging me to help her. I didn't know how, I didn't have the smallest bit of the money she owed to him. But, she told me that they had come to an arrangement and he told her that she could pay her debt by giving me to him…I had to marry him, I didn't have a choice," sobs broke Atlantis' voice and Matthew gently rocked her in his arms, not believing what he heard. "I thought that it would be only for a short time, I tried to fool myself that I could love him. He was nice at first and I thought that maybe it wasn't that bad. But, when I got pregnant, he went crazy. I was in my third month when he hit me for the first time," cold shivers ran up and down her spine and Atlantis sobbed, hiding her face into Matthew's chest once again.

"Ssssshhhhh," he tried to soothe her, feeling anger washing over him. How could a man hit a woman that was carrying his child?!

"I didn't want to go for an abortion and when I told him that, all hell broke loose. He kicked me almost every day; he drank more and more. I prayed to God that my baby would survive, it was the only person I could hold on to."

"Where was Heart during all that?" Matthew hated to interrupt her when she finally opened to him, but he had to know. Now he was even more sure that Heart had her fingers in all this.

"She never did anything big to stop that. Sure she tried to defend me when he tried to hit me, but it was only after the birth that she did something to really help. I begged her every day to help me leave him, but it wasn't until he tried to hit my son that she listened to me. But, no matter where we went, he always found us. I don't know how, but he always did." Saying that, Atlantis coughed, grabbing for Matthew's arm, her cough growing stronger and stronger.

Matthew snapped from his trance and quickly took a cup from the table "Try to drink a bit," he whispered, holding a cup in front of Atlantis' lips. She shivered in his arms and he rubbed his hand across her arms. "You should lay down," and without even waiting for her reply, he gently picked her up in his arms and got up from his chair. His eyes caught hers and he heard her whisper, "Please…Don't let me go."

"I won't," he replied, softly, but determined. "We will fight this together, Atlantis, and I promise you that I will get you and Matthew out of all that, but you have to tell me everything," as he spoke, her eyes filled with new tears and she nodded. He tried to smile in order to calm her down.

"I will," she whispered.

"Good. But, enough for tonight. You need to rest," as those words left his mouth, Atlantis leaned her face on his shoulder and Matthew slowly leaned down, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead as he carried her toward the bed.

He gently laid her down on the sheets and after making sure that she was covered well, he whispered, "Sleep now. I'm here. I won't let anybody to hurt you and your son again," his fingers caressed her hair as his other hand held her palm. Squeezing his palm a bit stronger, Atlantis closed her eyes and very soon, sleep came over her senses…

When he was sure that she was asleep, Matthew slowly got up from the bed and went toward his bookshelf. Rubbing his face and taking a deep breath, he took one of his law books from the shelf and went toward the table. Pouring himself a cup of coffee, he opened the book and started to read.