Seeking Help & Blaze's Words of Wisdom

Hospital – Outside Sam's ER Room

Jim pulled out his phone and hoped like hell Blaze could answer.

When it picked up Jim rushed out the words "Blaze, Blondie needs help. The kid was colossally stupid today. I'm not sure what to do. The emotional stuff is out of my realm."

Then Jim rambled out what happened in the locker room and all his references to Sam were as Blondie.

[Blaze sat up on his cot as he heard the tone of Jim's voice.

The unit had just gotten back to the remote base and dropped into their beds, exhausted beyond belief. He had turned on his phone only a moment ago to see if he had any messages from Blondie on how his first week back at SRU went. It rang just after he turned it on and it was Jim.

Blaze listened and his gut twisted. "Whoa slow down. Can you repeat that Jim?"

Winds turned his head and saw the concerned look on Blaze's face. He sat up and said "Put it on speaker Blaze."

Blaze shook his head.

Winds looked around the room. If Blaze did not put it on speaker then it was something he did not want the other guys knowing. That could mean only one thing. It was related to Blondie. He got up and sat next to Blaze.

A quick look at Winds and Blaze moved the phone so Winds could listen in too.]

Jim repeated everything again but slower and taking breaths in between sentences this time.

Then Jim said "Blaze I'm worried that some SRU shrink is going to wrongly interpret his actions as suicidal rather than his desire to do his job and protect others. People that don't know him like we do might just get that impression. That would be bad. What are we going to do?"

[Blaze shared a look with Winds. He slammed his fist on the cot a few times. He was afraid finding out about Matt's sister would have Blondie going off the deep end and acting reckless. He was both angry at and understanding of Ed's actions. Blondie could be a lot to handle. It took finesse to get him to make the right choices when he was hurting.

The first time Blaze experienced reckless Blondie was after Gary died in the explosion. The kid took enormous risks and it took a lot to dial him back to reasonable. With the help of Matt, mostly Matt, Blaze had come to understand that when Blondie lost someone it kicked his protective nature into high gear.

Any attempts at dialing him back by holding him back were met with disastrous results. Much like this PICC line incident.

But before he could deal with Blondie, Blaze needed to help resettle Jim. The emotional shit always threw Jim for a loop. So Blaze asked a question Jim could answer and which would refocus him "Is Blondie going to be okay physically Jim?"]

Jim stopped rambling and his mind settled a bit as it mentally worked through everything physically. After a few moments he answered "Yeah. The procedure is not without risk but it is minimal. From what we found out so far, no air got in. There are no clots either. But they will need to keep him here a day or two to observe for infection and other complications. That might be tough with his state of mind."

[In a calm and reassuring voice Blaze said "Leave that to me. I'll make sure Blondie complies and gets his head sorted out."]

"Thanks Blaze. I didn't know who else to call. Wordy would have been the one to go to but he's dealing with his emotions because he was the one that accidentally pulled it out when Sam pushed him when Wordy was trying to stop Sam" Jim said as he leaned against the wall feeling a bit of relief.

[Blaze heard the calming of Jim's voice but mostly he knew Jim was doing better because he switched back to calling Blondie, Sam. He said "Thanks for calling Jim. I'll take care of the emotional stuff. Thanks for being there to take care of the physical."

They spoke for a few minutes longer then Blaze hung up and looked at Winds. He needed to think and then make some calls.]

Heather found Jim outside Sam's room. He looked like he needed a hug. She wrapped him in her arms and whispered "I've got him. I'll be there. I'll take care of Sam."

Jim clung to his wife and soaked in the comfort she gave him. Her words had a familiar ring to them. Then it hit him that was more or less the same thing Heather had said to him when they took Sam in to the OR when he was shot in the chest.

He kissed her and pulled back to look at Heather's beautiful caring face "What would I ever do without out you darling?"

Heather cupped one side of Jim's face "You don't have to contemplate that because I'm right here and never planning on going anywhere."

Jim asked "Who is doing the procedure?"

"Dr. Markson. Sam's in good hands" Heather responded. Then she asked "Can you pick up Brianna from the sitter today. I want to stay with Sam until I know he is stable and I clue in the new nurse, Betty, on the tenth floor to all Sam's little tricks. Room 1030 is available so his team can help keep him from signing out AMA."

Jim liked the idea that 1030 was available. It was a larger room and there were standing orders that if it was available Sam would end up there. He was glad Heather always took such good care of Sam and made sure any new nurse was brought up to speed on the challenges of caring for Sam in a hospital.

Then he grinned as he thought of his beautiful infant daughter Brianna. She looked just like her mom. "Yes I can. A little daddy and daughter time is always good. Thanks for looking out for Sam."

Heather kissed Jim once more then turned to head into Sam's ER treatment room to get the pass downs needed for Dr. Markson from Dr. Fraser and Clare.

Wordy's Home – Kitchen

Wordy sat at the kitchen table watching four year old Holly and three year old Allie coloring. Lilly was five now and in kindergarten. Shel had been surprised when he walked him. He probably should have called her and given her a heads up. But he'd been distracted enough driving without adding holding a phone to the list of distractions.

Shel set a mug of coffee down in front of Kevin and asked "Do you want to talk about it?"

Wordy glanced at his daughters then said "Probably shouldn't right now."

Shel turned to the girls and said "Who wants to watch Beauty and the Beast?"

Holly's and Allie's eyes opened wide and both started happily yelling "Me. Me. Me."

Shel gave Wordy a swift glance and said "Be back in a moment."

Then Shel headed out to settle the girls in front to the TV. Normally she did not use the TV to babysit the girls. But Kevin really looked like he needed to talk and he would not do it while the girls could overhear.

After Shel got the girls all set up she returned to the kitchen. She grabbed her coffee mug and sat at the table next to Kevin but where she could see the girls too. "Okay, what brought you home unexpectedly today?"

Wordy's eyes closed as the incident replayed in his head. He twisted his wedding ring round and round making his finger red. He felt Shel's hands on his effectively stopping his motion.

He looked at Shel with sad eyes and said "I nearly killed Sam today. My wedding ring caught his on his PICC line and ripped it out."

Shel squeezed Kevin's hand offering comfort "It was an accident honey. You would never do anything to hurt him intentionally."

"I know. I tried to stop Sam from pulling it out himself but ended up doing it for him. Jim said he could have died." Wordy went on to tell Shel the whole sordid tale.

Shel listened and carefully controlled her own reaction. Ed and Sam were quite a pair. Two men that were so much alike that it caused them to butt heads like two crazed bulls. Shel wished both of them would use their words more often. From things Wordy had shared with her over the time Sam had been with the team, it sounded like both Ed's and Sam's lack of words and explanations of actions was at the root of many of their arguments.

"You know Kev, if only they would talk to one another, things like this could be avoided. Did Ed ever explain to Sam why he was keeping him in the truck? I mean a simple 'I'm worried about your PICC line being pulled out because then you would have to get an IV. An IV means needles and I don't want you to have to go through that' from Ed would have eased Sam's frustration level" Shel remarked.

Wordy gave Shel a wry smile. "No he didn't and yeah that might have changed things."

He sighed and continued "But Ed doesn't tend to explain things. He states his decisions and expects everyone to abide by them. Ed hates being contradicted about his decisions and the way he does things. That works for most of us. But Sam is from a unique mold. I've never known anyone even remotely like Sam. Ed needs to change how he deals with Sam, standards don't fit him."

Shel nodded then added "Sam needs to change too. It is not a one way street. I assume Sam probably didn't tell Ed why being in the truck frustrates him."

"Not that I'm aware of. Sam is usually very tight lipped about his feelings. Rarely does Sam open up and share feelings. A few times he has called me late at night and lets a small glimpse of the pain he carries show" Wordy said.

He twisted his hand so he was holding Shel's and squeezed gently "I fear for Sam. He has never forgiven himself for Matt's death. Heck, I don't think he really has forgiven himself for Sara's death either. Neither of which are his fault. We all do the guilt thing."

Wordy gave a short half-laugh then said "But Sam is the undisputed champion of carrying guilt for things that are not his fault. I don't think he really knows how to let that go. Sam just pushes it down and ignores it. That scares me."

Shel nodded. She had seen as much when Sam stayed with them that first Christmas. Sam hid his pain deep. Shel leaned forward and kissed Kevin's cheek.

Then Shel said "Do not use Sam as a role model there honey. What he does is not healthy. I'm not sure anyone can change how he deals with things. But you are capable of change."

Squeezing Kevin's hand Shel continued "What happened today was not your fault Kev. Release the guilt and the pain you are carrying from that. It was an accident, one prompted by Sam's and Ed's actions, not yours. You were only trying to help Sam, to stop him from doing something dangerous and ill advised."

"Once you release the guilt you feel you will free your heart and mind from a burden that is not yours to carry. Once freed, you will be able to think rationally and possibly help both Ed and Sam. They both need to flex a bit. You can help them with that" Shel advised softly.

Wordy released Shel's hand and pulled her into a hug. Shel always had the right words to help him. She was his rock and he would be lost without her. Wordy held her for a long time enjoying just being close to her and drawing comfort that allowed him to begin to put her words into action as the guilt slowly trickled out of his heart and mind.

It was two little girls giggling that had Wordy finally pulling back. He kissed Shel gently and then smiled "Looks like I get some quality time with my girls today."

Shel smiled as she saw the light coming back into Kevin's eyes. She stood up and said "And we get to spend time with our prince charming."

Wordy laughed "Nah, that's Sam."

As they headed into the family room Wordy knew that soon he would be able to think straight and perhaps, just perhaps find a way to help both Sam and Ed.

Lou's Apartment

Lou unlocked the door, entered, closed the door and then slid down the inside of his entry door. He knew Spike would not be here, he saw Spike's car was gone from the parking lot. Jules probably called him and he drove to the hospital.

He had a short reprieve before he would have to confess to Spike the atrocious thing he had done to Sam.

Lou just sat there on the floor of his apartment against his door for a long time. He kept repeating in his head the words he had flung at Sam in anger.

Why? Why did he do that?

Spike was gonna be pissed at him. But more importantly Lou was pissed at himself. He had thrown barbed words at a friend in the heat of anger. That wasn't him. Lou didn't do that.

So why? Why did he do that?

Lou banged his head against his door when no answer came. He stopped when he finally felt the throbbing pain he was creating in his head. Pulling himself up from the ground Lou wandering into his kitchen and opened the fridge. He was tempted to grab a beer.

But it was only nine am. Drinking was not the solution. He slammed the door of the fridge.

He looked around his kitchen feeling frustrated and uneasy.

Why? Why did he intentionally hurt Sam?

That was not the man he was today, not the man he worked so hard to be. The man he was today was one of calm reason who carefully protected the feelings of those he cared about. He did not deliberately hurt those he cared about.

But he had this morning. His unkind and untrue words had hurt Sam.

Lou's eyes landed on his sombrero. It was identical to the ones that both Spike and Sam had. That night they had all gotten so damned drunk. Paid for it big time when Ed found out they were hung over for shift the next day.

For some reason Lou grabbed the sombrero and put it on his head. He opened the fridge again and did grab a beer. Lou opened it and took a swig then headed to the sofa.

He plopped down and took another long draw of beer. It might not be five o'clock here but it was five o'clock somewhere Lou justified.

Lou leaned back on the sofa and let his mind replay this morning. He didn't like what he saw. Not at all.

The team had all turned a blind eye to the arguments that Sam and Ed had on a routine basis. They all adopted a 'they will work it out' attitude. But the fact was that they were not working it out.

Taking another long draw Lou thought that they all played a part in what occurred this morning. If only one of the team had taken the time to sit Ed and Sam down and make them work out a way of communicating then none of this morning would have happened.

Lou became restless sitting and stood. He paced back and forth as his words 'Spike got shot because of you' taunted him.

Those words were mean and callous. Anger at himself welled up and Lou hurled the beer bottle at his fridge. The glass shattered and beer and glass fragments showered his kitchen.

Low stood there as wave after wave of self-loathing tried to drown him.

That was not the man Lou wanted to be. He had worked too damned hard not to be a man like that. A callous, ruthless, man bent on hurting others.

The gang had been like that. No one really had anyone's back. It was every man for himself and you had to be hard, ruthless and uncaring if you wanted to survive. You had to watch your back and attack first verbally or physically.

By the grace of God he had gotten out of that life. He had found a different person to be and a better place to belong. The church had been his salvation. His parents, once he got his head on straight, were a source of strength, not the tyrants he had thought they were when he was mixed up with the gang.

Lou wondered if he would still be alive today if he had stayed with the gang. Probably not. If he had managed to stay alive Lou knew without a doubt he would not like the man he would have been and knew that he would probably be in jail too.

So his mean and callous words to Sam really hurt. Lou needed to understand why he said them. But no answers were coming.

What made him lash out at a friend? One that was probably already hurting inside.

Spike had shared with him that Sam had experienced nightmares. He had told him it was really hard to hear Sam cry out at night for Matt. Lou could see Spike had grown a lot closer to Sam after the time they spent together.

Christ could it be as simple and hateful as jealousy or fear? Did he lash out at Sam because he feared losing his best friend to Sam? He couldn't be that immature could he?

Maybe it was at a subconscious level. Consciously Lou knew that he and Spike would always be best friends. But unconsciously he might have feared that Sam was taking Spike from him.

But Spike was capable of having more than one best friend. He was just like that. It was one thing that drew him to Spike. Jules was Spike's best friend too. The three of them enjoyed hanging out together.

There was room for one more. Spike could definitely use all the best friends he could gather to support him since Spike's father was so dead set against Spike's job choice.

His thinking crystallized as the true reason for his words hit him. Crap. He had almost lost Spike on that ski trip and that made him lash out at Sam in fear.

Not fear of losing Spike as a friend to Sam. No that would never happen. Not with Spike.

The truth was simply ugly. He lashed out at Sam because part of him did blame Sam for Spike being shot. It was so wrong. So very wrong. It was not Sam's fault.

He may have just shattered a friendship like he shattered the beer bottle.

Lou looked at the shattered fragments of glass reflecting the morning light that came in his kitchen window. Shattered pieces. That's what the team felt like right now to Lou.

As Lou went to get the broom and dustpan to begin to clean up his mess he wondered if the team and his friendship with Sam was shattered beyond repair. Or could they glue the pieces back together?

Would it ever be the same? Could Lou repair his friendship with Sam?

He knew he could never unsay the words, just like he could never unbreak the beer bottle strewn around his kitchen.

Lou set to work cleaning up his mess. When he was done he surveyed his kitchen. It had taken effort to clean up his mess. But it was pristine again. It was like no beer bottle had been thrown. No one would ever know one had been thrown unless they saw the broken pieces in the waste bin.

He wondered if human relationships could be cleaned up in the same way. Would the parties involved see the restored condition of the relationship or would they forever see the broken fragments?

Opening the fridge again Lou took out a can of Spike's favorite root beer. Last night he had made root beer floats for the both of them. Spike's zeal for life always helped keep him grounded.

Lou popped the top and leaned against his counter as he looked around the kitchen again. Pristine as if nothing had happened rolled through his head. God, he wished it would be as easy to repair the damage to his relationship with Sam as it was to clean up a broken beer bottle.

He took off the sombrero and put it back on top of the fridge. It might not be easy but he sure the hell was gonna try. With any luck both he and Sam could look beyond the broken pieces.

As he turned, Lou's eyes landed on Spike's meds. He glanced at the clock. Damn, Spike was due for them and he left without them.

Lou chugged the root beer then grabbed Spike's meds and headed out the door.

Time to face the music so to speak. Spike would not be happy with him, but then Lou was not happy with himself either. He had a lot to answer for and hard work ahead to repair his relationships with both Sam and Spike.

As Lou locked his door he realized that human relationships were not exactly like glass. Yes they were fragile and needed care like glass. But humans had the capacity to forgive whereas glass had no such capacity. Relationships could be mended and strengthen through adversity.

Lou just had to find the right words to begin that process with Sam. Perhaps Spike could help him with that. Spike had gotten to know more about Sam. Lou knew without a doubt that he could count on Spike to help him repair his friendship with Sam.

Remote Base Camp – Afghanistan

Blaze was still thinking about the call with Jim. He could tell Winds was too. Blaze watched Winds closely for several moment and saw the storm brewing. Blaze finally said "Okay let it out before it gets to a category five."

Winds stood and paced a few steps then turned and let loose "I want to punch Ed's lights out for being such an ass to Blondie. He should know Blondie well enough by now. I mean for fucking sakes did he not learn anything from his previous screw ups with Blondie?"

Blaze stood and put a hand on Winds' shoulder. This was one of the shortest storms he had seen Winds have. But in reality there wasn't much more to say and he agreed whole-heartedly with everything Winds said. Ed should have learned by now. Blaze felt like landing a few punches to Ed's jaw too.

But what would that solve? Nothing!

Blaze needed to think on this a bit. He knew he could not call Blondie yet. He'd call later when Blondie was out of surgery. Blondie had some questions to answer too. The kid needed an attitude adjustment in the worst way. Blaze knew how to do that. He had a whole hell of a lot of experience with that.

Winds' was blown out and said "What are you going to do? It's not like we can show up and help out right now. We're half way around the world. Shit, I feel like the General must have felt every time he could not be with Blondie. This sucks. I wish we didn't have to head out on a mission in the morning. Part of me wants to go AWOL and hop a flight to Blondie."

Blaze said quietly "Get some rest Winds. Let me think on this a bit."

Nodding Winds sat down on his cot feeling useless and wanting to be there to help Blondie. That kid had it rough. Would his life ever get any easier?

Winds thought with the SRU things would be looking up for Blondie. But Winds' had learned how rough it was at first with the team. Then things got better before all hell broke loose when Blondie was kidnapped by the dirty cops after Jules broke it off with him.

Things had been calm and looking good again for Blondie with minor hiccups since then. Then the ski trip from hell occurred and Blondie had to deal all over again with Matt's death. Winds never quite knew how Blondie held it together so often and so well.

Winds often thought that these infrequent outbursts were cries for help. Blondie became reckless when things overwhelmed him. Winds looked up at Blaze and saw the serious contemplation face on. He could see the wheels turning. Winds trusted Blaze to figure out something. So he laid down on his cot and closed his eyes.

He needed rest before tomorrow. Things had been in chaos lately with unit after unit getting hit. Getting suckered into ambushes by wrong intel. Their unit had been run ragged going on rescue mission and in looking for intel on the cell causing all the problems. Their unit was tagged for that often since Blaze was one of the few unit soldiers with a level five security clearance.

Blaze stepped out of the tent to allow the others to rest. He needed to make a few calls. He walked a short ways away from the tent then settled himself down with his back against a large rock. He set his assault rifle at the ready and took a moment to look up at the stars.

He sent up a silent plea to let Blondie find some peace. The man he considered a son had so much pain in his life. He pulled his phone out and chose a contact he had not talked to on the phone since the night Ed had called needing help in dealing with Blondie when Blondie went catatonic after getting the news on his lungs.

Blaze took a deep breath and held it a moment as the phone rang. It got to the fifth ring before it was answered with a slightly gruff hello.

He let the breath out in a rush and said "Ed we need to talk."

[Ed was sitting in the locker room staring at where Sam had been laying. He had gone after the heavy bag with a vengeance, then showered and dressed. But he could not bring himself to leave. His eyes were stuck on that spot.

"I'm not in the mood to talk" Ed responded. He had almost let the call go to voicemail.]

"Then listen. I know you can do that. You SRU are all about listening" Blaze said with a little sarcasm in his voice. As much as he had tried to keep it out it seeped in.

["You know I could just hang up" Ed said gruffly.]

Blaze blew out another breath "I'm sorry Ed, I'm trying not to … I'm calling to try and help you with Blondie. He can be a challenge at times."

["Ya think?" Ed bit back with sarcasm of his own.]

"Ed just listen, please. I'm trying to help you here. Jim called. I know all that transpired. I know what Blondie tried to do was so totally wrong. But you need to understand why he did it. You cannot deal with Blondie like you deal with others" Blaze said calmly.

[Ed pinched the bridge of his nose and tore his eyes off the spot and stared at his own locker. "I know that. Christ I know that. What I don't know is how to … Sam has no sense of self-preservation. He jumps from one unacceptable risk to another. It is never ending. How do I solve a problem like Sam?"]

Blaze chuckled.

["Why the hell are you laughing?" Ed said as his ire rose. The anger was right below the surface and ready to erupt again.]

"Sorry" Blaze said. He chuckled again and asked "Ever watch Sound of Music?"

["Yeah sure, Sophie made me watch it with her one night. Why?" Ed asked wondering where Blaze was going with that.]

Blaze leaned his head back and looked at the star he had picked out for Matt and smiled "Well you know Matt was into music. When Blondie and Matt were new to the unit I found myself at my wits ends many, many times with Blondie."

"One night Matt found me outside our barracks after Blondie pulled a stupid stunt that resulted in him saving Ripsaw but getting himself knifed. Luckily it was minor for Blondie. But all I could see is that Blondie disregarded his own safety to protect Ripsaw."

"I said much the same thing to Matt, how do I solve a problem like Blondie. Well Matt broke into laughter and then promptly pulled out his music player and pulled up the song from the Sound of Music, the one that has the nuns singing how do you solve a problem like Maria."

[Ed chuckled in spite of his anger. He breathed deep and blew it out "So how do you solve a problem like Blondie aka Sam?"]

Blaze could hear the change in Ed's voice. He was listening now. So humor worked with Ed like it worked with Blondie. That tidbit got filed away for future use. Blaze responded "You don't."

["You don't. That is not much of an answer Blaze" Ed said.]

"What I mean is that Blondie is not a problem to be solved. He is a unique man Ed. Put him in the right environment and there is no problem. Much like Maria would never be a good nun but a great mother for those kids. There was no problem with Maria, she was just being judged by the wrong criteria" Blaze shared.

[Ed shook his head. Not a problem to be solved. Like hell Sam wasn't "I'm waiting for your words of wisdom Blaze. You commanded him for six years."]

Blaze could hear the resistance in Ed's voice. So stubborn like Blondie. Ed believed something until he didn't. It was that simple.

He sighed "I know Ed. They are coming. Be patient. Actually that is one of them. Be patient with Blondie. When things go haywire in his life his natural tendencies, his instinctive behaviors come to the forefront. Let me ask you something Ed. Who is Blondie, at the core I mean?"

[Ed thought a moment, actually several moments as he reviewed all he knew about Sam regardless of what opinions he had previously formed. Ed finally answered "At the core he is a protector. He sees someone in need or in harm's way and takes action. He is not a bystander."]

"That right. Now, think back to times when you think Blondie had no self-preservation or takes unacceptable risk. Got a few?" Blaze asked knowing that would be an easy list to create.

["More than a few" Ed responded drily.]

Blaze considered his words carefully then said "Now think about what might have been going on in Blondie's life at the time. Can you correlate something stressful? Like someone he cares about hurt or in danger?"

[Ed was nodding. He could correlate a few of them to things like that. Maybe more if he could just read Sam. So, Ed answered "Yeah some of them I can."]

"Now, this might be hard for you to do. It often is for people that have not been in a war zone. But I need you to consider that Blondie had been trained in skills normal people, police officers included, are never trained in. Those skills have been honed to a fine point so that he can see, assess and react to multiple inputs in the heat of battle. His life and the lives of his brothers in arms depend on those skills being razor sharp. Now imagine that he has had six years to develop those skills and put them into practical use on an almost daily basis."

"Got that? Can you see that Ed?" Blaze asked.

[Ed nodded at first. Yeah they all knew he was a soldier. That day in the Royal York when it came out that Sam spent six straight years in the field fighting for his country and in some cases for his very life from those who were supposed to have his back was hard to forget.

He realized Blaze could not see him so Ed answered "I got that."]

"Good. Okay. So he is highly trained and has had more practice than any one man should ever have" Blaze said as a guilt tried to creep into him for not realizing that it was Plouffe who was manipulating and using Blondie all those years and not the General.

Clamping down hard on his own guilt Blaze continued "Now let's consider risk. Given what you now understand are Blondie's skills, can you see that you and he measure risk differently. What you see as unacceptable risk, Blondie has calculated with a completely different set of criteria and deemed it a necessary risk."

[Ed interjected "But Sam is not in a war zone any more. He needs to see that those risks are unacceptable here and now."]

Blaze thought he had been getting through, but he realized that Ed was just as stubborn as Blondie. He took several moments to consider his response before just blurting something out. A skill he had developed to deal with Blondie.

He then said "Ed, I know that will always be difficult for you to accept but changing Blondie's set of risk assessment criteria is as unlikely as you changing yours. It is too deeply embedded in both of you. You both are strong hardheaded men."

Blaze stopped a moment to let Ed process his words.

[Ed was listening. He knew damned well he and Sam were both hard headed. They went head to head often enough to know that. Both strong willed. Both thought they were right. He just did not understand Sam's criteria.

Sure he knew Sam was a soldier and that they took more risks. They had too, it was war, kill or be killed. Action was valued more than words because actions kept you and your buddies alive. He had heard enough stories from soldiers in the support group he and Greg went to sometimes to know that.

"So what do I do with that information? It is my responsibility to keep my team safe and make sure they go home safe each night. How can I do that when Sam insists on using criteria that is unacceptable here? How do I keep him safe?" Ed asked as his eyes drifted back to where Sam had been lying only a few hours ago.]

Blaze sighed "It takes a strong man to command Blondie. It is no easy task. I know that for sure. Like I said, Blondie is a unique man, born and bred to be a protector."

"He needs a commander who is willing to see beyond the surface Blondie projects to the world. He needs someone who is willing to try a different tact and to be patient with him. Blondie has the capacity to change but it will be a very, very slow process because it is so ingrained in him."

"Confronting him head-on only results in things like what happened in the locker room."

"Blondie can and does bend to authority. That was bred into him too. I know you know what I mean, just think of direct orders. He follows them even when he does not agree with them. But you cannot order him not to be himself. That just does not work."

Blaze's voice held a note of concern as he said "If he is pushed too far and too hard and it conflicts with the core of his being then Blondie snaps. It is never pretty when he snaps because that is when he really does stupid shit that is likely to get himself killed."

"I know from experience. I've pushed too hard and too far too. It nearly cost Blondie his life when I did. I had to learn and adapt and recognize I was pushing too far or hard and then get creative in how I dealt with Blondie."

Rubbing the back of his neck to release tension, Blaze stated "So my best advice is that you need to be patient and get creative with how you deal with Blondie."

"Humor works, deflection or distraction work sometimes too. Giving him something else to do or focus on that is not trivial, he can see through that, can sometimes be used. But you have to keep in mind who he is at the core, a protector. If you prevent him from doing that, then you create the environment that will drive Blondie to snap."

"The best way I can describe it is if you put a bloody man in with a hungry lion and tell the lion not to eat the man or you have to shoot him. You cannot expect the lion to just sit there and do nothing. That just is not gonna happen."

"The lion is hungry and he sees the man as food. He's gonna eat the man no matter what you say because he is a lion. He will always be a lion, caged or not."

"Blondie will always be a protector. He will always protect, caged or not. And just like the lion if he is presented with something that hits on a primal instinct he will react accordingly. You take that away he will lash out in unexpected ways that can get him killed."

Stopping a moment thinking he was rambling now, Blaze concluded "One last thing, remember I told you that his eyes always tell the truth. You need to look beyond the external façade to see the real man underneath. That real man hurts and is vulnerable even though he rarely shows it to the world. Learning about Vanessa hurt him very deeply and most likely brought back thoughts of killing Matt. Tread lightly Ed. Tread lightly."

[Ed listened to everything Blaze said. He let it roll around his mind. Sam was not a problem to be solved. Sam was not a problem. Sam was unique. Ed needed to truly accept that Sam was a different animal and he had to adapt in order to lead a man like Sam.

He could see the analogy with the lion clearly in last week's calls. Things were okay in the beginning of the week. But as the week wore on they encountered several very tense calls. Those calls he would have normally had Sam covering them.

Now that he thought on that he could hear the tension in Sam's voice as he had called out to him asking if he should grab his Remi and head to high ground. He realized Sam could hear the two times when the subjects had actually gotten off a shot.

Once it hit Greg in the vest dead center in the chest. The second time it missed Jules by mere inches. Both times Sam had nearly come unglued in debrief as he explained how he could have prevented that if he was just allowed to do his job instead of sitting in the damned truck.

The only problem Ed saw now was wondering if he was up to that challenge. He was a stubborn man with ingrained habits himself. But if he could adapt a little for Sam, Ed thought that he might be able to help Sam adapt a little too.

It was certainly a challenge. One he had never been presented with in all his years as a team leader.

Ed sighed as his anger towards Sam began to ebb away. Ed said sincerely "Thanks for sharing your insights Blaze. I'll think on all you said."]

"Thanks for listening Ed. By the way, I know you are up for the challenge of Blondie. You can do this" Blaze said with a smile knowing by Ed's voice that he had gotten through.

["How the hell did you know what I was thinking?" Ed asked with astonishment.]

Blaze chuckled "Remember we are a lot alike too Ed. I asked myself that question a hundred times over the years I was Blondie's CO. You are a good TL Ed. Both you and Blondie are good and intelligent men. Be patient and creative and you two will work it out. I'm very sure of that."

The two spoke a bit longer then both hung up.

Looking up at Matt's star, Blaze softly said "Thanks for all the help with Blondie, Matt. Ed could sure use you right about now. You saved me from making huge mistakes with Blondie so many times. I never got a chance to thank you for that. So thank you. Rest in peace brother. Rest in peace."

Blaze checked his watch and decided he needed to get some shut eye. He would try to call Blondie before the unit had to leave in the morning.

He whispered to the night sky again "Stay strong son. Be patient with Ed. Remember he is doing the best he can. You are both human, forgive him his mistakes and forgive yourself yours too."

Blaze stood and headed into the tent, weary beyond belief.

He may not be Blondie's CO anymore but that did not stop him from worrying about the kid. He would always worry. Blaze wished he could go to him right now. But duty called, terrorism did not take breaks.

The one thing Blaze knew that gave him some comfort was that he trusted Blondie's SRU team to take care of him. Blondie had claimed them as family much like he had the unit. And the team had claim Blondie too. They would protect him.

It was that final thought that eased his mind enough that Blaze could fall asleep.

.

AN: Thanks Purpwithapen for some dialog for Shel. I pulled it from your review :)

FYI for my dedicated readers: Minor continuity change to The Swim. In The Swim I indicate Heather is four months pregnant. I've changed it to Brianna being a baby and born after doing a complete outline of everyone's ages. She has to be born for Matt to be the right age in AI-V.