You Did WHAT?, Level 9 Lie & Team Talks

Hospital – Waiting Room

Jules and Spike had returned to the waiting room after getting coffee and a snack. They saw Sarge sitting there.

Spike asked "Any word yet?"

Greg looked up and shook his head no. He noted that Spike was looking much better. With any luck he would be back on the team in a few weeks. He asked "How are you feeling today Spike?"

"Okay" Spike stated. Then he sat down and looked at Greg. His voice held a note of annoyance "Just what the hell happened? Why did Ed treat Sam like that? Putting Sam in the truck when he was cleared must have seemed like a punishment. One he didn't deserve."

Greg sighed "Come on Spike, think on it. Ed was just trying to look out for Sam."

"I know that but I don't think Sam got it. Did Ed explain it to him or did he just order it?" Spike asked already ninety-nine percent sure he knew the answer.

Jules answered "No he didn't. Those two need to learn to communicate better. You'd think being in SRU they would understand the value of words."

Rubbing his head a few times Greg said "I should have sat the two of them down and had them find a way to communicate long ago. This is partly my fault too."

Jules sighed "We all own a part of this. I saw Sam was really agitated after you took one in the vest. And he nearly came unglued in debrief when that subject nearly shot me the next day."

Spike stared at them "No one told me that happened. Christ, no wonder Sam went off the deep end."

He was beginning to feel ticked off at the team. No one was treating Sam right. It was like they forgot who he was and how he reacted to things. Putting Sam in the truck was like caging an animal. Sam would definitely see it as a form of punishment.

Spike asked not wanting to know the answer "Do you blame Sam for me being shot? Does Ed? Is that why Ed banished him to the truck?"

Greg shook his head "No, no. No one blames Sam for you being shot."

Lou walked up in time to hear that portion of the conversation. It pierced him deeply. He had to set the record straight "Part of me did" Lou stated with unhappiness in his voice.

Spike's head whipped to Lou. But before he could say anything Greg said "I sent you home. I told all of you Sam needed time to cool off. What are you doing here?"

Lou held out Spike's meds "He left without his meds."

Spike was still reeling with what Lou said but he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small plastic bag "I brought what I needed with me. What did you mean?"

Lou shoved the meds back into his pocket. Why didn't he realize Spike would have brought what he needed with him? Now he would have to confess in front of Jules and the Boss too. Maybe it was for the best. Perhaps they could help him find a way to make amends to Sam too. More heads the better.

His eyes downcast and his posture slouching Lou confessed "After everyone left the locker room I hurled barbed words at Sam. I told him it was his fault Spike got shot."

Spike shot out of his seat his voice incredulous as he shouted "You did WHAT?"

Lou looked up at Spike "I'm not proud of it. I spoke in anger. The look on Wordy's face when Jim said Sam could have died with the PICC line being pulled out like that … well … it. It made me angry … at Sam. I didn't realize that part of me unjustly felt he was responsible for you getting shot. The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them."

So many emotions plundered through Spike's mind. Anger at Lou, how could he say that? Worry for Wordy, it was not his fault but Wordy would feel guilt. Hurt for Sam, he would take those words to heart. Sam already felt the guilt that was not his to feel over this.

Spike dropped into the chair. This morning had been a disaster of epic portions for the team. He looked at Lou and his voice was dead "I don't want to talk to you or see you for a while. I'm too angry with you right now and I might say something I'll regret. You need to leave."

Lou looked at Greg and Jules then back to Spike. The sorrow he felt over his actions was clearly written on his face. "Spike?"

Putting a hand up Spike said "No."

Jules put a hand on Spike's knee to stop it from bouncing. She looked at the Boss and said "I have Spike."

Greg stood and walked to Lou then said "Come with me."

Lou hesitated he needed to talk to Spike. The Boss tugged on his arm and he turned to face the boss. "I need to talk."

"I know. Come talk with me for now. Give Spike a moment, give him some space" Greg said softly.

The two were starting to head out when Dr. Fraser came into the room. He headed straight for the group.

Dr. Fraser spoke to Greg "Sam is out of surgery. He is in the recovery room and will be moved to 1030 in a bit. Dr. Markson said the procedure went smoothly, no problems. However, Sam was in extreme pain. Heather said he was at a level nine. Which is worrisome since the pain should not be that high. But we know he is truthful with his levels so Dr. Markson upped his pain meds and added a light sedative so Sam will be asleep for several hours."

Greg asked "Did they put in a new PICC line?"

"No. That is not advisable. I know where you are going with that. Sam has an IV in now. He will get his doses of antibiotic via that while he is here. I have consulted our infectious diseases expert and he suggested that we test Sam once more. If his culture comes back clean for a third time we will discontinue the treatments. So unless it comes back showing any infection Sam will not have to deal with needles" Dr. Fraser explained.

Jules let out the breath she was holding "That's good. You say he is sleeping?"

"Yes. He will be for several hours. Any more questions?" Dr. Fraser asked.

When they all shook their heads Dr. Fraser headed out.

Jules turned to Greg and said "The team needs to talk before anyone goes and sees Sam."

Greg nodded. This whole situation had gotten ugly. "My house in an hour. I'll call Ed and Wordy."

Spike, Jules and Lou all nodded. Greg and Lou headed out leaving a very upset Spike in Jules' care.

Hospital – Sam's Room

Sam looked around the room groggily. They had planned to keep him in a twilight sleep during the procedure to remove the broken piece of the PICC line. He recalled Heather being there when they started and when she asked his pain level he had outright lied and said nine. Immediately she asked the anesthesiologist to up the sedation; which he had done.

That was exactly what he wanted. Actually it was not an outright lie. Heather hadn't clarified physical or emotional pain. Physical pain was a three, emotional pain however was through the roof. He had needed to escape from it and knew if he answered nine that they would put him out. It would give him a small break from the barrage of emotions he was feeling.

His room was quiet and vacant except for himself. That was good. He was not ready to face any of the team. He had heard Jim speaking to Blaze down in the ER. It was kind of hard not too since he was standing right outside his treatment room when he made the call.

Sam felt bad for sending Jim off the deep end, yet again. He was glad that Blaze was able to calm Jim down. But something Jim said to Blaze was lodged in his head. Would the SRU shrink really think he was suicidal? He wasn't. At least not now.

When he had joined SRU that was a whole different ball of wax. Then he was most definitely suicidal. So many nights he spent with the colt in his hand. But it was this team that got him through that. It wasn't easy at first, but then something changed and he found a new place to belong.

No right now he was just grieving the loss of Matt once again. It never got easier. The holes in his heart that were created the day he killed Matt would never heal. They could never be sutured closed. Yes they scabbed over and did not weep as much. But finding out about Vanessa had ripped the scabs off.

His mom's words had comforted him a bit. But no one truly understood how he felt. They all expected him to deal with it and move on. But he couldn't. Matt was dead at his hand. Nothing anyone could say would change that fact.

Matt would have loved to know he had a sister. But he never got that chance. Matt also never got the chance to start his own family. Matt never got to find his one true love. The woman he wanted to spend a lifetime with. Matt never got the chance to father a child and name him Ben or her Samantha. Matt never got to do that because he killed him.

That hurt. It hurt so very much. Matt would have been a great dad. He would have been a great husband to some lucky woman too.

He had killed Matt before any of that could happen. And now he had nearly done the same thing to Spike. It was his fault Spike got shot. Lou was right. It was his fault.

Spike almost didn't get a chance to meet the woman of his dreams and have kids too. Sam nearly robbed him of that too.

He was a piss poor protector. So many people he cared about died when he should have protected them. Sara, Gary, Unicorn, Ripsaw, Buzz, Dutch, Yankee, Shy, Aaron, and the list continued to grow. Jules almost made it to that list too. He left her unprotected and she nearly died.

Sam wondered just how many people he would get killed or hurt. He could add one more. Wordy.

God the look on Wordy's face when he saw the PICC line was torn out and then when Jim explained what could have happened. Sam knew he hurt Wordy. His actions again hurt someone he cared for.

If only Ed had let him do his damned job. He should have been out there protecting them. The Boss would not have taken one in the vest last week.

Sam closed his eyes. It was too much and it hurt so badly. Why did those around him that he cared about continue to get hurt?

Maybe it was time to become a hermit. Go far away and live alone. He knew how to be alone. If he was alone then no one he cared about would get hurt.

Sam faded back into sleep thinking that being alone hurt only him. He could do that. He was so tired of hurting those he cared about.

Greg's Home

The team gathered in the family room. It was a somber group. The tension was extremely high. Spike refused to sit anywhere near Lou and picked the furthest location from Lou that he could. Wordy felt the same way about Ed.

So it ended up that Spike and Wordy were aligned on one side of the room while Ed and Lou were on the other. Greg and Jules found themselves sitting between the two camps.

Jules thought for a moment it looked like she and the Boss were arbitrators negotiating a peace treaty with the looks that Spike and Wordy were throwing at Ed and Lou. Jules was upset at Lou for his words to Sam but she had also seen Wordy's face and understood that Lou might have lost it and lashed out.

Greg looked at the team. Team was not a word he would use to describe them right now. On one side were Lou and Ed. Both looked regretful for their words and actions. On the other side was Spike and Wordy. Both looked upset and not ready to forgive.

He looked across at Jules and was thankful to see a second face that was balanced and reasonable. He could use the help. Greg began "The events of this morning have put a strain on this team. Several have been hurt by today's events. But we all share a part in what transpired. We need to resolve our differences and move forward. I want us to talk it out without judgement and accusations."

Greg looked at Ed and said "Ed why don't you begin."

Ed looked at Greg and took a deep breath then started "I was trying to prevent Sam from having to deal with needles."

Wordy interrupted "Then you should have told him that was the reason."

"Yeah, he probably thought you were pissed off at him. Like Lou is. It was not Sam's fault I was shot" Spike bit out.

"Spike" Greg said softly trying to remind him of no accusations.

Spike glared at Lou and did not stop "Lou told Sam it was his fault."

Wordy turned his shocked eyes to Lou "You didn't! You did! Why? Why would you do something like that?"

Ed turned to Lou who was seated next to him. He could not wrap his head around less-lethal Lou intentionally causing hurt.

Lou looked around the room then tried to explain "I didn't know at first. The words were out before I could stop them. The only reason I can come up with is that part of me did blame Sam. Rationally I know it was not his fault. But that irrational part of me that saw my best friend bleeding out on that surgery floor blamed Sam. If not for his leg wound, none of them would have been in that hospital. The Barton's would have frozen to death in that police cruiser and Spike would not have been shot."

"I was angry that Sam hurt Wordy. So I let that irrational thought out to intentionally cause Sam pain. To strike back so to speak for what he had done to Wordy" Lou confessed.

Wordy shook his head. What Lou said made him very sad.

Spike stood up and yelled "HOW COULD YOU LOU? I told you how much pain Sam was in. About his nightmares. How I heard him crying silently at night thinking we were all asleep."

Then he rounded on Ed "And YOU! You put him in the truck. Made him feel like he was being punished for something since that is how you have dealt with him in the past when you two disagreed. When will you ever learn to talk to Sam and explain your reasons? Sam is not like us. Don't you guys see he is hurting?"

Spike felt a twinge of pain in his side and gasped as he sat down.

Lou raced over, concern oozing with each word "Buddy are you okay?"

Spike glared at Lou "I'm fine. Too bad you couldn't show a little of that concern for Sam."

Jules interjected "Spike that is not fair. Lou cares about both of you."

"Yeah, Lou sure showed Sam how much he cared didn't he?" Spike ground out, each word dripping with sarcasm, as he moved out of range of Lou again.

Lou looked at Jules "I deserved that."

Jules shook her head "No, no you didn't. What you said was not right but Spike doing the same thing to you is just as not right." Turning to Spike she added "Don't you see? Spike in your anger you are behaving like Lou did. You are lashing out. That isn't gonna help us or Sam."

Greg listened with pride as Jules continued to talk to Spike and Lou. It took a while but she got Spike to calm down and to listen to Lou as he explained his feelings and expressed needing Spike's help to fix things with Sam.

He watched Wordy and Ed while the other three were talking. They were listening but not intruding into the conversation. Greg could see the wheels turning in Ed's head. It was clear he was thinking things through.

Spike allowed Lou to pat his shoulder; a hug was not yet in him. He could sort of see why Lou lashed out but it would take some time to truly forgive Lou. Mostly the forgiveness would depend on the how this affected Sam.

Lou softly asked "Are we good now?"

Spike nodded slightly "I don't like what you did but I can see how you might lash out. You will need to apologize to Sam."

"I know. I'm afraid an apology won't be enough. I need some way to show him" Lou stated.

Wordy sat forward. He had been listening. Wordy turned to Greg and said "I know you said Sam needed time to cool down and for us to give him that time. But I'm afraid that if we are not there for him when he wakes up that he will get the wrong impression. It will lend credence to Lou's words. I think we all should go to the hospital now."

Ed shook his head "I don't think Sam would want to see me right about now."

Greg thought on Wordy's words "I think you are right Wordy. We need to show him that we do not blame him. Even you Ed. Maybe especially you. None of us really know what he is thinking right now."

Jules added "Whatever he might or might not be thinking, if we are all there that will show him that he is important to us."

"That we will not abandon him even if he does something foolhardy" Spike stated.

Ed looked at each one "You really think I should be there? I don't want to send him off the deep end again."

Wordy toyed with his wedding band as he commented "Well if he does then I'll just dive right in again and pull his ass to the shallow end. Or at least try too without drowning him."

Then Wordy stopped toying with his ring and looked at Ed directly "But it is high time you learned to communicate with Sam. Your methods need to be adjusted. We all know Sam is not like us."

"I know. I spoke with Blaze, CO to TL. Sam and I both need to change and I'm working on some ideas on how to achieve that. I cannot promise things will change overnight but I want you all to know I am working on it" Ed stated.

Greg grinned "So shall we go check on Sam now?"

Everyone nodded. As they headed out Greg held Jules back and whispered "You did good with Spike and Lou. You are a first class negotiator."

Jules patted Greg's back and gave him a smile "I was trained by the best."

Greg grinned but remained silent at that compliment. He could really see handing this team over to Jules at some point in the future. She truly was the heart of this team.

As Spike walked to his car his foot slipped on a small patch of ice. He started to fall. Lou caught him before he could fall far. He let go only when spike was steady on his feet again.

Spike looked at Lou. It still was not right what he said to Sam. But he gave Lou a small nod and said "Thanks buddy. Falling would not feel too good right now."

"Anytime brother" Lou responded and then walked closely to Spike as Spike made his way to his car. Before Spike got in Lou offered "How about you ride with me to the hospital? You looked a bit bushed right now. You could rest on the way."

Spike considered the offer for a moment then said "Sure." He headed for Lou's car.

Wordy turned to Ed and said "Good to see that friendship was not shattered."

Ed said "What about us? We good?"

Wordy nodded "Yeah we're good. Just make sure you start talking to Sam okay. You two might find some common ground and avoid crap like this if you two just talk."

Ed nodded "Understood."