Mud Pit, Best Friends, Happy & It's Sam

Three Weeks Later – SRU HQ – Men's Locker Room

Sam and Spike walked into the locker room soaking wet but smiling and laughing. Today had been a Team One against Team Five training day. Mud could still be seen in their hair and although they had a long water fight with the hoses they had not managed to get most the mud off their boots and uniform. They were a mess.

But then so was everyone else. The obstacle course had been reduced to a veritable mud pit with the rain the past two days. Everyone had crawled through, fallen into or been pushed into the mud pit when Ed declared they were going to have a king of the mud pit competition after training was completed.

It was a free for all and there was laughter, grunts and groans as everyone tried to remain standing. Falling down in the mud pit was how you were declared out. Sam and Spike had formed an alliance of sorts and fought back to back and saved one another from falling several times.

When they were the only two left they turned to each other with huge grins. Sam and Spike went after each other joking the whole time. Both declared the other was going down. They circled, lunged, parried and dodged each other fending off attacks for more than ten minutes.

It took everyone by surprise as Sam got ahold of Spike's lapels and looked to be the winner, but then Spike pulled out a move none of them had ever seen and Sam went down. Spike chortled his win loud and clear to the applause of the rest of the teams. Sam had crawled to the edge of the pit and just smiled as he clapped with everyone else.

Spike was back and he was in damned fine shape.

Sam and Spike stopped at they entered the locker room and saw all the other guys still standing in the locker room full of mud.

"Um, are we missing something? Do we have hot call or something?" Spike asked as he looked at the guys confused.

Ed laughed "Nope. No hot call."

"Then what are you all standing around for?" Sam asked as he gave them a questioning look.

Wordy laughed and said "We figured the last two standing deserved first shot at the showers."

Jules stepped out from behind Greg and said "What they really mean is that they didn't want you to racing for the only empty shower. We know how well that worked out last time. Don't we?"

Spike and Sam turned and looked at each other with a mischievous look. Both raced for the shower stalls as they shouted claims of being the first one there.

Ed dropped his head and pinched his brow but couldn't stop the chuckle.

Greg grinned "Those two will never grow up will they?"

Lou smiled "I hope not."

Jules shook her head as she headed out of the men's locker room as she said "The only difference between men and boys is the price and size of their toys."

SRU HQ – Jules' Locker Room

As Jules showered she let the warm water cascade down her back as she replayed the last few weeks in her head. She was secretly just as pleased as the rest of the team at Sam's and Spike's playfulness today. Both really did seem happy. That was good.

The past few weeks had been difficult for the whole team. There was still some underlying tension, they all felt it. But things were on the mend.

Ed appeared to be taking a somewhat different approach with Sam. It was still rough at times. But their arguments were lessening.

They were all surprised when Sam was put on a week's Administrative leave and made to have several sessions with the psychologist by order of the Chief. The Chief was concerned that Sam might be suicidal when he read the report of what occurred in the locker room. Sam passed the sessions with flying colors and was back at work the next week.

But that worried Jules a bit. Sam could hide what he was really feeling very well.

So she had devised a plan that helped both Sam and Spike. She put Sam in charge of Spike's rehab the week he was off. Once he was back at work she arranged for her, Sam and Lou to all work with Spike after they got off shift. It did a lot to help mend the rift between Spike and Lou. It also gave Lou and opportunity to show Sam that he was truly sorry for his words. All four had grown closer as a result of those weeks helping Spike get back into shape.

Jules sighed as the warm water relaxed her. It was good the team was all back together again. She hated when they were at odds.

She wanted to stay in the shower longer but they were all going to the Goose tonight to celebrate Spike's return. So she turned the water off and proceeded to dry off.

Jules had the towel wrapped around her and was blow drying her hair when she caught a flash in the mirror. She shut of the dryer and said "Sam?"

Sam peeked around the corner "Um sorry I knocked. I'll talk to you later when you are dressed."

Jules said "No wait. Don't go. What do you need?"

Sam cast his eyes down because seeing Jules like that brought back too many memories, good ones. But ones that would not be repeated because Jules was moving on. "I just wanted to say thank you."

Jules moved forward and took Sam's hand and led him to the bench. It was sweet but unnecessary that he cast his eyes down. She gently pushed him down on the bench then sat next to him.

"Sam no thanks are necessary" Jules said.

Sam lifted his eyes and looked into Jules' sable brown ones. "Yes it is necessary. You see. I was in a really bad place. My head was so screwed up. I truly considered leaving the team. Leaving everything."

At Jules intake of breath Sam quickly said "No not like that. Not suicidal. No this was different. I was afraid that just being here would cause you all to get hurt."

Sam half laughed "I thought it would be better if I just became a hermit. Find a cave somewhere and live out my life alone. That way no one could get hurt. Or if they did it wouldn't be because of me."

Jules squeezed Sam's hand "So what made you change your mind?"

"You, the guys. None of you would leave when I yelled at you to leave me the fuck alone. Not a single one of you left my room for two days. It showed me what I already knew but had got twisted up. We are more than a team. We are family" Sam said softly.

Sam looked at Jules and confessed "I lied."

Jules blinked "About what?"

"Well it wasn't so much a lie. No. Yeah, it was lie. When Heather asked for my pain level I told her nine. Physically was only a three" Sam said as he lowered his head.

"Why?" Jules asked as she gently cupped Sam jaw and raised his head.

Sam quietly answered "It hurt too much Jules. I wanted the pain to go away but I didn't want to die. But I needed to escape the pain. So I lied and said it was nine because I knew they would sedate me."

Jules nodded "I can understand that. Matt's death still hurts you doesn't it."

"Yeah, but it is manageable again" Sam stated. Then he added "Thank you for helping Lou and Spike too. I would have felt so bad to be the cause of breaking their friendship. Thanks for helping them restore it."

"Sam, that would not have been your fault. When will you see that not everything is your fault? Things happen, sometimes very bad things, but it is not your fault" Jules stated firmly but compassionately.

"I'm working on that. Blaze chewed my ass good about that when I talked to him" Sam responded.

Jules lightly chuckled "Yeah we all could sort of hear him even from across the room. Man he sounds a lot like Ed when Ed is chewing you out for taking unacceptable risks."

Sam cocked his head to the side and a lopsided grin appeared "You know, yeah they sort of do. But it is different with Blaze. He's more like a father and Ed I guess is more like an annoying big brother. It's easier to take and listen to a set down from a father figure than an annoying older brother."

Jules laughed "Annoying big brother. Yeah that fits Ed sometimes. It fits him well. He kinda reminds me of my brother Brayden, maybe a bit like Keagan too when he gets all gruff."

Sam filed that comment away. Jules rarely ever mentioned her family and he didn't know anything beyond she had four older brothers and a father and they had some sort of falling out. Jules just did not talk about it.

When Jules quit chuckling Sam said sincerely "Thanks for everything Jules. You are a good friend."

Jules grinned and said "No thanks are needed but you are welcome. Anytime you need to talk I'm here to listen. It's what best friends do."

Sam leaned in and gave Jules a light peck on the cheek then stood. "I better get out of here before the guys come looking for me. You still coming to the Goose?"

"Absolutely" Jules said as she rose.

She watched Sam covertly check if the coast was clear then slip out the door. Jules sighed as her heart constricted a bit. Sam used to visit her a lot in this room. A few stolen moments in their work day; a place to check in on one another to ensure they were okay after a bad call.

Jules missed that. She missed so many things about Sam. Jules forcefully closed the door to her heart and locked it to try and keep Sam out. But the empty void it created came with its own pain.

She turned on the blow dryer and set her mind to practical things; like getting started on guest bathroom remodeling project.

The Goose

The team was on their second round. No shift tomorrow so they all were relaxed not having to cut it off at two and leave early. It was nice that Sophie and Shel joined them tonight too.

Wordy sat with his arm over Shel's shoulder and was laughing at the joke that Spike just finished telling. He looked around the table and liked what he saw. The team had worked out their differences, for the most part. He and Ed had apologized and mended their relationship. Spike and Lou and Lou and Sam had done the same.

Sam and Ed was a work in process. Both were trying. Both were set in their ways but they were trying. Whatever Blaze had said to both Ed and Sam seemed to do what none of the team could do. Ed and Sam were now actually using their words. Not always but it seemed to be improving.

In Wordy's mind there was nothing to mend between him and Sam. Sam felt differently though and had called him a few days ago at two in the morning. They talked until they both had to get ready to leave for the barn. That had made for a long shift but it was so worth it. He could see Sam was coping again and he was doing well again.

It made Wordy happy to see the smile on Sam's face. It was a real smile that lit his eyes again. That night in the hospital had been bad. Sam had screamed at them to leave. He had made such a ruckus that nurse Betty almost made them leave.

Jules had explained to Betty that would be the worst thing the team could do. That Sam needed to know that they were here for him whether he wanted them or not. Luckily the nurse allowed them to stay. She had even arranged for a cot to be brought in so Spike could rest more comfortably than a chair.

The next day they spent talking between Sam's drug induced naps. They helped Sam realize he was a part of the team and they were not letting him go. Ed explained to Sam why he wanted to keep him in the truck. Sam explained why being in the truck frustrated him. They didn't see eye to eye on the explanations but at least it was a start.

Wordy noticed the conversation had gotten onto the mud pit as Spike was animatedly retelling how he and Sam managed to knock everyone else out of the game. Wordy had to ask "So Spike, that move you did, the one where Sam had you by the lapels. What was that all about?"

Spike grinned "Oh that. That's just a little move Sam taught me."

Ed raised an eyebrow "Really?"

Spike nodded "Yep, something Ripsaw taught him to use if he was being choked by an ox with mad cow disease." Turning to Sam, Spike grinned and asked "Or was it if I was being choked by a delirious weak kitten?"

Sam was mid swallow of a swig of beer when Spike said that and he ended up snorting his beer through his nose. Roars of laughter erupted around the table. Jules patted Sam's back as he tried to catch his breath between laughs and wipe up beer that he spewed all down his shirt.

Spike's grin just got bigger as he leaned back on his bar stool. He and Sam had a grand time ribbing each other as Sam came through on his promise to show him several moves to get out of choke holds.

It was good to see his buddy laughing. Spike had seen the emotional pain Sam was in for weeks. Spike got the team to see it too. All of them had come together to bring Sam back into the light over the past few weeks.

Joking, laughter, general conversation and such continued for several more hours until one by one the team started heading home. Sam and Spike were the last two at the table just finishing off their sodas having switched from alcohol over an hour ago.

Sam looked at Spike and said "That was some ski trip."

Nodding Spike answered "Yeah it was. Let's not do one quite like that again."

"We check the weather forecast first" Sam chuckled.

Spike added with humor lacing his words "And the last known whereabouts of murdering brothers."

Sam nodded "Make sure we pack satellite phones."

"And trawling sno-bunny repellent" Spike snickered.

Chuckling Sam said "Especially trawling sno-bunny repellent."

When the snickering died down they sat in companionable silence as they both got lost in their private thoughts on the ski trip from hell.

After a bit, Spike asked seriously "Have you decided if you are gonna contact Vanessa?"

Toying with his glass Sam answered "No not yet."

Spike reached out a hand and placed it on Sam's shoulder then waited for Sam to look at him. He said "For what it is worth, I think you should. From the things I know about Matt from what you and your unit buddies have said, I think Matt would want you too. It would probably do you some good too."

Sam inhaled deeply and let it out slowly "Maybe."

The two sat together even after they finished their sodas just enjoying each other's company for another hour. Then both headed to their homes.

Sam's Apartment

Sam opened his door then closed and locked it. He was still too wired to sleep.

Today had been good. Spike was back on the team. Spike had worked really hard and come back in record time. The help that Jules, Lou and he gave Spike probably had a lot to do with it. But Spike's drive to return was a key factor too.

The team had helped him recover too. It wasn't so much a physical recovery as a mental recovery. Spike and Jules would not let him fall into a depression. He had been really mad at the team when they wouldn't leave the hospital. But eventually that ebbed and he could see that they were in his corner. They did not want him to go. They wanted him to stay.

That meant so much to him. They all held onto him. So he could not go. That knowledge helped him sort out his mixed up thoughts and put away his hurts one by one. Not that missing Matt and the guilt he felt would ever go away. But at least now he had it safely tucked back into his fortress where he kept all his pain.

Sam headed to his window and stood looking out at the lights of the city.

Something had changed with Jules too. He felt a deeper connection with her. She had called them best friends tonight. Best friends. Sam liked the sound and feel of that.

He felt more comfortable around her. Slipping into Jules' locker room had been risky. But he had needed to thank her whether she felt it was needed or not. The spark of hope in his heart flickered and grew a tiny bit when she had called them best friends.

Sam wondered if patience might eventually win out.

Looking up at the sky he could not really see the stars because of all the city lights. That was a shame. He missed seeing the sky full of stars. Wow, Sam never thought he'd miss anything about Kandahar. But there, in the dark of a moonless night, he could see billions of stars.

He and Matt used to name the stars. It was a game they played to pass the time. Sam's hand rubbed his chest over his heart as he felt the pang of loss again. He wanted to remember everything about Matt. Matt only lived in his memory now. He needed to keep Matt's memory alive.

That thought struck him. If he died, all his memories of Matt would die with him. He couldn't let that happen.

Sam pulled out his phone and dialed a number he had dialed a hundred times but never hit the call button. This time his finger hovered for only a second over the call button before he finally pushed it.

When it was answered with a slightly sleepy hello Sam said "Hi Vanessa, sorry it's so late. It's Sam. Would you like to hear a story about your brother Matt?"

.

AN: Thus comes to a close another story. I hope you enjoyed the trip. I will be picking Rescue of Master Corporal Sam Braddock back up. Also have a few more ideas brewing for the compilation stories.

If this is the first story you have read of mine and like my style I would point you to my profile page for a list of stories I have written. On the profile you will see a Beauty of Life Series Reference. The first chapter provides you with a chorological listing of each story. The other chapters give you details on characters

Please let me know what you thought of this story. I love to hear from readers.