Carol spent most of the next few days with Lori, who was having a hard time with her third trimester. Her small frame struggled to carry the weight of the baby, and any exertion seemed to wear her completely out. She'd recently started having Braxton-Hicks contractions, and she constantly worried that the baby would come too early. Carol tried to keep her company so she could keep her mind off her worries.
"You're sweet to spend all this time with me," Lori said, reaching for Carol's hand.
"Oh, honey, it's not like I have a job to go to or a. . ." She trailed off. She'd nearly said she didn't have a family. Sometimes it hit her like a brick. For so long she'd thought of herself only as Sophia's mother, and now she had to get used to just being Carol.
Lori gave her a small smile. "You mean so much to us, Carol," she said. "To Rick and me, I mean. I know he's gotten kind of. . . hard or. . . or cold. . ."
"No, he's – he's got so much on his mind, Lori. He feels responsible for everyone. It's a heavy burden to bear."
Lori nodded, tears pooling in her eyes. "It's all he thinks about, you know. Keeping everyone safe. He doesn't—" She closed her mouth quickly, shaking her head.
"He doesn't what?"
"Oh, Carol." Lori looked up, letting the tears fall. "I don't think he loves me anymore. He's never going to forgive me."
Lori had never talked to Carol about what happened between her and Rick and Shane. Everyone in the group knew, and Carol had often wondered if Rick or Shane were the baby's father, but she would never have brought it up to Lori. She hoped Rick and Lori could put all that behind them.
"Lori, he will come around," she said firmly. "Of course he will. In this hell of a world we've got, he has his wife, his son, and a new baby on the way. He has to know how blessed he is. And if he doesn't, he'll realize it when he sees that baby's face. Trust me."
Lori nodded, wiping her tears away and attempting a smile. "I hope you're right. You know, he used to look at me the way Daryl looks at you."
Carol laughed. "And how exactly does Daryl look at me?"
"Oh, honey. Like he wants to eat you alive."
As the group stacked more and more days without walker sightings, they all became a little happier, a little lighter. They talked about the future with something resembling hope. They knew that their luck could change any day, that the chances of never seeing another walker were slim to none, but at times they almost believed they could make this neighborhood their permanent home. It was T-Dogg who came up with the idea for the wall.
"Why don't we make this place as safe as we can?" he asked one evening when they were all gathered together for dinner.
"How so?" Rick asked.
"Remember that hardware store we passed about fifteen miles east of here?" T-Dogg asked. "I bet there's lumber there, maybe some tools, building supplies. And there would be more stuff in garages and woodsheds around here. Hell, we could even tear down houses for lumber."
"What exactly are you planning here?" Hershel asked. T-Dogg had everyone's attention now.
"A wall," he answered, looking at Rick. "We build a wall around our houses, and we keep those motherfuckers out."
Rick shook his head. "No. If a herd comes, then we're trapped in."
"It's our wall," T-Dogg said. "We can build it however we want. We make a gate we can drive through if we need an out, maybe two gates. We just need a wall big enough to keep stray walkers on the outside and maybe a perch we can sit on to keep watch. It'll take a long time, but what else are we doing here?" He looked around. "Anybody have some kinda big plans I don't know about?"
Rick chewed his bottom lip, staring at the ground, mulling it over. Daryl stayed silent, his eyes narrowed. Some of the others were nodding and smiling, pleased with the idea.
"I think it's a great idea, T-Dogg," Carol said. "I mean, why not try it?"
"It's a lot of work for nothing if it ends up not protecting us," Rick said.
"Or it keeps us safe and we can stay here as long as we want," said T-Dogg. "We make that gate so we can go out for runs, so we can escape if we need to. It sure won't make us any less safe than we are now, and it might keep those fuckers out. What have we got to lose?"
"We have everything to lose." Andrea was standing now, shaking her head at T-Dogg and glancing at Rick. "This is a pipedream. I'm sorry, T-Dogg, it's a nice idea, but it's a waste of time. What, you're going to have Daryl hammering nails instead of hunting? Rick, you're going to put up boards instead of being on watch? This thing would take years to finish, and what do any of us know about construction? Do you all really think we're going to live here forever?"
After a long pause, Rick said, "We're not going to live anywhere forever, Andrea. The next day, hell, the next minute isn't promised to us. And we'll still be on watch, Daryl will still hunt, everything will be just like before. But we can work on this wall, see how it goes. We'll run out tomorrow and start looking for supplies."
"What do you think about this idea?" Carol asked Daryl as soon as they were in their bedroom alone.
"The wall?" He shrugged. "Could be good, could be a waste of time. Hard to say."
"That's it? You don't have more to say about it?"
"Maybe tomorrow," he said, taking her hand. "Right now I'm tired and I'm dirty and I want to take a bath with you."
"A bath? Won't the water be freezing?"
"They've still got the fire goin' in the fireplace downstairs. I'll run down and heat some water," he said.
When they'd mixed the very hot water with some cold water from the tap and had just the right temperature, Daryl stripped off his clothes and got in the tub. Carol took a moment to just look at him lying there waiting for her. His hand reached out for her, but his eyes were nearly closed, his head laid back. He was beautiful. She took off her clothes and climbed in, sitting between his legs and settling back against him. His cock immediately hardened and pressed into her back. "Whoa," she said, turning around a little. "Put that thing away," she giggled.
Daryl laughed too. "Can't help it," he muttered, pulling her closer.
"This is nice," she said. "I've never taken a bath with someone before. Well, besides when Sophia was little and I had to get in with her when she was scared of the water for a while. I mean, with a man."
"Yeah, I haven't done this either," he said, reaching for the soap. "Hell, everything about you is new to me."
She turned her head to face him. "What do you mean?"
He worked the soap into a lather between his hands. "You're just different from any other woman I've ever known."
She turned back around and leaned against him again. "How so?"
"You're. . . I don't know. Delicate, or something." He used his hands to rub the soap into her shoulders and arms.
"Weak, you mean."
"No," he said quickly. "No, I don't mean that. I didn't say fragile. I said delicate."
"Like, feminine?"
"Yeah," he said, "definitely feminine." He covered her breasts with his hands, using the rough skin of his palms to tease her nipples, which he knew she loved. "All the girls I knew before were. . .you know. . ."
"Slutty? Skanky?"
Daryl laughed. "Somethin' like that."
She turned to face him again, biting her lip. "I like being a little slutty with you, though."
"Yeah, but that's what makes it fun. I know you're not really like that. You're not, like, throwin' yourself at any man around."
"Who, Hershel?" she laughed.
"Yeah, I know. Not a lot of men around. But you wouldn't anyway, if things were normal. If the world was back like it used to be." He went back to soaping up her skin, reaching down to move his hands over her legs.
"You think it ever will be?" she asked. "Like it used to be?"
His hands stopped. "No. I don't."
"So our days are numbered."
"Yeah," he answered, wrapping his arms around her and resting his head on top of hers. "But we don't have to talk about that."
After a long silence, Carol said quietly, "I hope I go before you."
"Carol, stop—"
"No, I mean it. I can't lose you. I don't think I would survive it."
He reached one arm all the way around her and held the opposite shoulder, just as he'd held her when she'd seen her daughter coming out of that barn on Hershel's farm. "You survived after Sophia," he said, his voice cracking a little on the little girl's name.
"I had time to adjust, though," she said. "All that time you were looking for her, I had faith that you could find her but I prepared myself for the worst too. But losing you, now that we have this, now that you're. . . with me like this. . ."
"I know what you're sayin.' I don't think we should talk about it." He went back to stroking her skin. "Maybe we'll live to be Hershel's age."
She chuckled. "You'll still have your crossbow and I'll have my machete. . ."
"But arthritis'll keep us from usin' em."
Carol laughed loudly. "I don't think Hershel has arthritis, but that's pretty funny." She sank back against him, reveling in the feeling of his hands on her body and the joy of this moment with him. "God, you make me so happy, Daryl. Do you know that?"
He gently turned her to face him, pulling her closer for a kiss. "This water is gettin' cold. Let's go to bed."
A/N: Sorry, no cliffhanger and no smut in this chapter. But they are going to bed at the end of the chapter, so you can probably imagine how the next chapter will start! Something major is about to happen in the next chapter or two, so I'm hoping I'll find some time this weekend to write it all out. Thanks again for all the reviews and love – keep them coming, please!