For several moments, Atlantis just closed her eyes, exhaling deeply in relief. Warmth radiated through her body from Matthew's closeness and she buried her face in his neck, listening to his heartbeat.
His hair brushed against her cheek as he tightened his hold on her. He could feel her warm breath on his neck and his lips gently kissed her hair. That simple touch caused Atlantis to move in his embrace. He leaned down, searching for her lips and she willingly accepted it, her right palm caressing his neck. His lips felt heavenly on her lips and she silently moaned, getting lost in his love for her.
"I missed you so much", she managed to whisper as his lips caressed the soft skin of her neck.
As he kissed the line of her jaw, her eyelids fluttered and she whispered his name "Matthew…", only to be interrupted by another kiss and she pulled him closer to her, needing to feel his touch. Her lips slowly opened and she nearly lost her balance, moaning in passion as his tongue lovingly explored her mouth. Her legs shivered and she would have fallen if he hadn't been holding her tightly in his embrace.
Having a life of their own, her hands roamed down his shirt and within a few seconds her trembling fingers sneaked under the material. As her palms touched his warm skin, their kiss broke for a moment because of his silent, heated moan. His eyes turned into dark blue as she looked up at him, their minds clouded with a passion.
"I love you," she heard him whisper as her fingertips caressed his bare back.
She knew that they had to stop before this got too far, but she didn't know whether she had the strength to do that. Not when he was kissing her like this, her breath mixed with his.
"I love you too," she barely finished the sentence when his lips kissed hers again. She could feel his fingers slowly caressing her back, then her shoulders and then he stopped…pulled away from her, both of them breathing heavily. She knew it, he knew it – they had to stop. But, they didn't want that.
"I'm sorry," after few moments, his quiet voice was heard as he leaned his forehead against her forehead.
Atlantis let out few short, quick breaths.
"Don't be, Matthew. I want this too…But…" She looked in his eyes and received a gentle smile from the man she loved unconditionally.
"We should stop," he finished for her and she smiled at him.
Feeling his lips gently kissing her brow, Atlantis closed her eyes. Then she allowed Matthew to pull her against his side, and as she laid her face on his shoulder, they left the barn.
The day was sunny, a bit cold but still pleasant. The sun was shining from the cloudless sky and it looked like it would be a nice day although it was December.
Atlantis was up early. The trial was starting tomorrow, but somehow she was calmer about it now. The vision quest had definitely helped her. She accepted what had happened. Still, it hurt like a hell, but she found the strength to live with it every day.
It isn't easy when you found out that your whole life has been a lie. Atlantis was well aware of that. In the pieces of her memory, she tried to remember the earliest days of her childhood. It was all so very foggy. She could neither remember her real parents nor whether she had siblings or not.
For how far her memory went back she remembered only the life with the circus and how people treated her because of her webbed fingers. She remembered how many times Heart had tried to assure her that she was special because she was different. That was another lie, she knew that now. She hadn't been of any use to Heart if her hands were normal. She was a freak show, as Heart told Dr Mike, and that brought money. People paid to see strange people and strange things. That was what Heart had been going for. She brought her money with her ugliness – that's why she was special to Heart.
Taking a deep breath in, Atlantis continued to do the laundry, looking behind the homestead to the road that led to the forest. The wind was picking up slowly and a few strays of her long brown hair were falling on her face. Smiling, she pushed them away. The past was past. If she wanted to stay sane, she had to close this part of her life, put a full stop on her life with Heart and try to look forward to tomorrow.
Now, that was possible.
"Mummy!"
Her smile widened as she heard her son's happy voice. She turned around and kneeled down as her beloved baby boy ran into her arms.
"My baby," she whispered as her child clung to her. "Oh, honey, I missed you so much!" She kissed his soft hair as the tears of happiness rolled down her cheeks.
When she came home last night, her son was already fast asleep and she didn't want to wake him. Instead, she just sat on the edge of his bed and let her tears roll down her cheeks at the sight of her little sleeping angel.
Her fingers gently caressed the sleeping child's hair, careful so as to not wake him up.
"Don't worry, he was fine," she heard Matthew's whisper. "We went fishing, riding horses, feeding chickens. Tried to keep him busy. In the evening he was so tired that he would fall asleep while I was carrying him to the bed. That way he didn't have time to cry. Still, we talked about you a lot."
Atlantis swallowed hard, looking at Matthew. "Thank you," her voice came out as a whisper and those two simple words held so much more than just a thank to Matthew for watching over her son while she was gone. She knew that without Matthew, her little darling would never recover. His scars were way too deep and she wished that she could take each of them on herself so that her baby didn't have to have the awful memories about his childhood spent with his biological father and Heart.
She caressed her son's hair, pulling away and before she kissed his cheek.
"Let me look at you", she said, the smile never leaving her lips. "Where did you get that hat?" she chuckled.
"Matthew bought it for me. He and Mr. Bray tried so many different hats on me, Mummy, it was so funny, they were all huge!"giggled little Matthew, his laughter echoing in Atlantis' heart as the most beautiful song.
She laughed as well and the little boy hugged her again. She closed her eyes, inhaling the scent of the baby shampoo from her son's hair.
"Are you all right now, Mummy? You won't leave again?"
Hearing such an obvious fear in her son's voice created a lump in Atlantis' throat. "Sweetheart, Mummy will never leave you again."
As a response to that, little Matthew hugged her even more and Atlantis held her little son tightly.
Matthew was watching this scene from the stairs, smiling. He didn't want to break this moment so he just leaned against the wall and waited. His heart warmed up to the scene in front of him. Atlantis was such a wonderful mother; her son worshiped the ground she walked on.
'How time flies!' he thought as he went downstairs toward the two of them. He still remembered Atlantis when he saw her for the first time. A young girl, a performer in a circus, but still so unsure of herself. Closed out because of her difference, yet able to love somebody…to love him. A girl who never knew how it was like when someone makes you feel special… A girl whose smile shone like a thousand stars on the evening sky as he talked to her before the show…
"Listen, um, if I said or did anything…"
"You didn't do anything. It was just my own mixed up way of thinking."
" Well, I just wanted to say if I wasn't, you know, engaged I would truly be honored to have someone as special as you to like me."
And he watched her now; a grown up woman, a caring mother to her son - a son that she'd named after him - and a woman who showed him that he could still be happy in this life. She had pulled him out of the bottomless hole he was falling in, a hole of sadness that Ingrid had left behind her and a hole of emptiness that Emma had deepened.
Atlantis had sneaked inside of his heart and he hadn't even notice it. She had healed every part of it with her loving smile and the deep care for him. She was the only person in his life he confided in about Ethan. She was the only person that talked with him about Ingrid whom he hadn't snapped at. She was the only one who made him feel like he could live without pain again.
She was the only one who could make him walk on the wires of life, no matter how high and dangerous they were.
"Ready to go?" he called out, smiling as he saw little Matthew happily nod and Atlantis' confused face.
"Go where?" she asked and he went toward her. Encircling her shoulders with his hand, he showed her the fishing tool and smiled, "Fishing."
Atlantis looked up at him. Her world became so simple and good when he was around her.
"I'd like that very much", she said smiling happily.
He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead and she closed her eyes sending a prayer of thanks to God for bringing Matthew back into her life. She was ready to face all the evils of this world as long as he was beside her.