ElixerTrickster (EL) set up a Memo
ElixerTrickster added DailySpelunker (DS), SlipperyGough (SG), SporaticSlither (SS), BaptisingLilac (BL), ReeferApartheid (RF), and NotoriousCaptain (NC) to the memo
EL: fina-FUCKING-ly
EL: this stupid piece of SHIT program makes me want to FUCKING hang myself
SS: Oh sssssshit, look who it issssss
EL: god DAMNIT carthus shut the FUCK up
NC: I hop[- you ar[- not causing probl[-ms Hys[-[-s
EL: the only problem I have is that piece of SHIT lowblood speaking to me
SS: Hysssssseessssss, I sssssswear to whatever religion you hold dear, I will usssssse my telepathy to make you sssssslap the sssssshit out of yoursssssself
EL: FUCK you you can't do anything
EL: you son of a FUCKING BITCH you made me slap myself
EL: I'm gonna kick the SHIT outta you
SS: I'd like to ssssssee you try
SG: plEasE do not fight!
SG: we nEEd to work TogEThEr!
SS: Yeah, sssssso sssssshut your gaping bulge holessssss and let me lead
EL: lead
EL: who the FUCK gave you permission to do that
DS: I don't know, he's doing alright so far
SS: Glad at leasssssst Matt sssssseessssss the big picture
RF: yaeh dude jus roll wit it
EL: FUCK you stoner stay the FUCK outta this
DS: God damnit I don't know who everyone new is
DS: Someone give us a quick rundown
RF: I ned som clerefacation as wel
DS: I have no idea what you just said
SS: Sssssshut up for a ssssssecond
SS: Here'ssssss the lowdown:
SS: EL issssss Hysssssseessssss, and sssssshe capitalissssssessssss every sssssswear word sssssshe ssssssayssssss
DS: Yes, I met her
EL: FUCK you too
DS: I didn't say anything
EL: but you were going to
DS: Go to hell
SS: Sssssshut the hell up
SS: Or I'll telepathically sssssslap the sssssshit out of both of you
SS: NC issssss Jaloon, and he ussssssessssss [- insssssstead of E
SS: And RF issssss Pially, and sssssshe issssssn't ussssssing her FUCKING QUIRK
RF: ley of man
RF: don't git on my cas abut dis
SS: Sssssshe ussssssually typessssss like thissssss
SS: RF: Yo homies, what is the for realsies dealsies in this hizzhouse
SS: I don't know which I hate more
SS: DSsssss issssss Matt, one of the humanssssss
SS: And lasssssstly BL issssss Tara, the other human who'ssssss throwing ssssssome kind of hissssssy fit becausssssse of her change in belief
SS: Sssssso who knowssssss when we'll hear from her again
SG: thErE, wE'rE aLL caught up!
DS: And this may not be a good time, but Tarlia has something to say
DS: But she really needs to tell you
DS: Now
SG: i…
SG: i SuPPoSe now is as gOOd a time as EvEr ]:/
SG: this is hard to teLL you guys
SG: but i'm caLLing oFF aLL my relatIonShIpS with you guys
EL: what
EL: but why
SG: i talked to maTT about it, and we DEciDED ThaT if i want to sTarT any sort of real relatIonshIp with sOmEOnE, i've got to stop with you guys
EL: I FUCKING knew it
EL: I FUCKING knew you were in a matespritship with that SHITlord
EL: you're dead you piece of SHIT
DS: No, we're not a matesprit, whatever the hell that is
DS: She's talking about BL
EL: fine I'll kick her ASS as well
EL: but she'll have to wait until I'm done with you
RF: chil hysees its not a big dael
NC: I must admit, I am not surpris[-d
NC: It was bound to happ[-n
EL: oh I know
EL: but I was just hoping that it wouldn't happen this FUCKING soon
SG: my SincErESt apOlOgies!
SG: I'LL stiLL hold you dear in my heart! 3
EL: sigh
EL: 3
SG: ]:D
DS: Yeah, friendship
DS: So cool
DS: Anyway, sprite's bothering me
DS: brb
Matt turned away from his laptop, knocking his sprite's hand away and stopping it from poking him. He had recently entered his second gate, which took him all the way to Tara's house, though she was nowhere to be seen. As he'd made his way through his planet in search of the second gate, he'd made a habit of learning more about his quest from the lands inhabitants; a species of small monkeys, just half his size. They'd told him about his denizen, Hephaestus, and a lot of vague nonsense.
"What do you want?" he asked impatiently. When he'd finally met up with his sprite again on Tara's planet, he'd found out that it'd been prototyped a second time. But not with another video game, or even some useless other object, but with an alternate doomed timeline version of himself. Now the thing looked like a militarised version of Matt himself, complete with military uniform and all. Apparently he'd come back in order to steal the ending from Tarlia, who'd done that in his own doomed timeline. God knows how that even happened.
Mattsprite pointed a thumb behind him, "There's someone here."
"So?"
"So you need to deal with them."
Matt sighed, "Why can't you?"
His sprite shrugged, "Maybe 'cause I don't want to. You got to deal with this yourself, bro."
Matt spitefully got up, glaring a look of anger at his sprite, but eventually went to investigate. He made his way through Tara's house, passing innumerable Jesus Christ: Superstar posters, many of which seemed to be torn up and destroyed, to the door leading to a balcony on the second floor of her house. When he opened the door, he was greeted to a gust of smoke that entered through the doorway, making Matt hack unstoppably. Eventually, the smoke cleared, and Matt could identify the five figures scattered around the small balcony. Oh dear god.
"You guys were here the whole time!?" Matt asked hastily, letting a small layer of smoke settle between him and the five trolls that were around the balcony. While normally the balcony would've overlooked a beautiful ocean back on Earth, in the Land of Dark and Slate, a large rock facing was directly against the edge of the balcony and covering the top, allowing the smoke to simply linger around, not spreading out and dissipating.
"Sup dude?" one of the trolls asked, one he hadn't met before. She was the source of the smoke, with a blunt in her right hand which she occasionally took drags from. She was significantly different to the others, who consisted of Tarlia, Hysees, one troll Matt assumed was Carthus, and another unknown troll. The first mentioned troll, the source of the smoke, was a smaller troll, the smallest of the lot, and wore extremely flashy clothes and jewellery, consisting of a sleeveless top, a long skirt the length of her legs, and several pieces of jewellery, including ear piercings, a lip piercing, and a large necklace. Her features were identical to the other trolls, save for her long, chest length curly hair, thin, lengthy horns, purple outlines around her eyes, and a pair of fins protruding from the sides of her head.
Matt coughed another couple of times, waving his hand in front of his face, before the troll he had identified as Carthus stepped forward, "Yessssss, I'm afraid. Much to my DISSSSSSLIKING, IF I MAY SAY!" He specifically glared at Hysees, who now wore baggy denim jeans and a loose shirt that she only let cover one of her shoulders, who then proceeded to flip off Carthus.
"Fuck you, low-blood," she scolded him, smirking.
"You're going to accept me assssss your leader ssssssometime, becausssssse it'ssssss not changing." He turned back to Matt, taking off his flat cap and bowing. "It'ssssss nice to finally meet you after all thesssssse weekssssss."
Matt gave a short and clumsy bow back, "Good to meet you too, Carthus. I see you actually speak like that in real life, huh?"
Carthus stared at Matt for a few seconds, before replying, "Fuck. You."
"Touchy subject?"
"Touchy fucking ssssssubject." Carthus went back to his original position, leaning up against the rock wall at the edge of the balcony.
"Nice!" Hysees complimented, walking up and slapping Matt's back. "You hurt his feelings! Classic Carthus, always sulking about every single shitty thing."
Matt pushed away Hysees, "I didn't mean to insult him, because unlike you, I have a moral code."
"Moral code? Who gives a shit about morals! This is Sgrub, anything goes! Don't tell me you're as much of a wussy as Cathus!"
"Fuck you, I'm ten times the troll you are, and I ain't even a troll!"
Hysees pushed Matt back, "Then prove it! Hundred push-ups, right here, right now! Whoever can't do it has to admit to being the piece of shit that they are!"
"You're on, loser!" The two dropped to their hands and feet, and Matt looked up towards Carthus, "Count for me, man!"
Carthus waved his hands and shook his head, "Keep me out of whatever bulge meassssssuring contesssssst thissssss issssss."
The two didn't listen to his reply, as they both began doing push-ups, both counting quietly under their breaths. Carthus sighed, and looked to the others, in hope of someone doing something, but no-one stepped forward.
Eventually Matt broke the silence, speaking as he did push-ups, "So, mind… telling me… who these two… are?"
Tarlia stood there, confused as to who he meant, but realised he was talking about the two remaining trolls he hadn't met yet. "Oh! Well, the lovely lady quote-unquote "chilling" on the bench there is Pially, a Fuchsia blood, and also the highest caste in the troll hemospectrum! As much as she may not look it, she happens to be the former heir to our planets throne!"
She then gestured to the final troll, a burly and gruff looking guy, a little taller than Hysees and the same height as Matt. He wore casual clothes; a button up shirt and a pair of shorts, and a pair of rectangular glasses. His short hair was messy, and a pair of horns sat straight on his head, bent forward about half-way up.
"And this is Jaloon, a fellow cerulean blood.!"
"It's a pleasure to meet a human," he said in a rough, deep voice.
"Oh," Tarlia continued, "I suppose it wouldn't hurt to mention that Hysees here is just a plain old Purple blood, the third highest caste!"
"Hah!" Matt chuckled, "Fucking nerd!"
"I'll show you how much of a nerd I am when I show you up and devastate your shitty manhood!" Hysees replied.
Carthus stepped up to the two, crouching down, "You guyssssss realize thissssss issssssn't proving anything?"
Matt did one last push-up, jumping to his feet, "It proved that I just did a hundred fucking push-up!"
Hysees followed suit, "Same here, bulgebag!"
The two were obviously winded, and Carthus sighed, "Are you finisssssshed?"
Matt looked over to Hysees, and stretched out his arms, looking to the left of the balcony and at a small glowing tree in the distance. "I don't know. Yo clown, how far you reckon that tree is?"
Hysees looked in the same direction, placing an arm on Matt's shoulder. "In your human distance? A few miles."
"How about this: last one to the tree has to still admit to being a piece of shit."
"Deal." The two didn't wait for anything, already bolting off and through Tara's built up house in an effort to be the first to the tree. The land around them was coated in pitch blackness, so they had to hope nothing terrible lurked there.
Tarlia looked desperately through the doorway they left through, sighing sadly, "Man, they really dislike each other, don't they?"
Jaloon went over and stood beside her, leaning on the doorframe, "Yeah, I know. They're totally going to mate soon."
Tarlia looked over with confusion, "What? Why?"
Jaloon gave a small smile. "Because it's a classic case of a Kismesissitude. I wouldn't expect you to know, Tarlia. It's almost as if you're incapable of having a relationship like that. But the two of them, it's painfully obvious, to me at least, that they're going to consummate sooner or later. You see, a Kismesissitude is only formed through a mutual hatred, but also mutual respect and sexual attraction. If it were just platonic hate, they wouldn't be competing to see who's better, challenging each other. And it definitely isn't bad enough to become an Auspisticism, thank god. So yes, I believe that it'll happen eventually. Maybe not tomorrow, but eventually."
Tarlia shrugged, "Well, I'll trust your judgement. You do have a knack for romance, after all."
"Eh, it's a blessing."
Carthus moaned loudly, "Great! Another bullsssssshit teenage romance, ssssssolved! Patssssss on the back all round!" He made his way through the door. "Let'ssssss go make ssssssure thosssssse two don't get their headssssss ssssssmasssssshed in by sssssssome Ogre, or, even worsssssse, sssssstart mating under that sssssstupid tree. Ssssssomeone grab a bucket, won't you?" Jaloon followed suit, but Tarlia looked over her shoulder to Pially.
"You coming?"
Carthus leaned his head back through the door, "No, sssssshe sssssstayssssss here. Jusssssst keep ssssssmoking your high-blood plantssssss."
Pially let out a cloud of smoke from her mouth, "That's a plan I can get behind, dude!"
Eventually, the trio of Carthus, Jaloon, and Tarlia made their way through almost pitch black darkness, only being able to navigate via the planets inhabitants, a series of neon coloured cat creatures that stood half the height of Jaloon. It was a winding road, and the three almost would've certainly fallen down into the large crevices if not for the creatures lighting up their way. They strolled up to the tree, which glowed quite brightly from its numerous fruits, and saw Matt and Hysees laid on the ground, huffing and puffing.
Carthus crossed his arms hunched over the pair, "Thissssss prove anything that the other competition didn't?"
"Yeah, I… lost… by a… fucking hair..." Matt huffed, starting to crawl up to a large wall of slate.
"You still… lost…" Hysees said smugly, crawling up as well. The two set themselves up against the walls, sitting next to each other.
"Yeah, and I… honoured… my promise…" Matt replied.
"Ha… Ha… yeah… you did…" She scooted over to Matt. "But I think… I kind of… want to… take a… few minutes… to rest…"
She placed her head on Matt's shoulder, closing her eyes. "Sure…" Matt said, "But when… we… get up… I want… a rematch…"
Hysees only gave a grunt in reply, and Matt subsequently placed his own head on hers, avoiding her horns and closing his eyes as well. The two were quick to sleep, Matt snoring quietly and Hysees remaining completely silent, save for her chest moving up and down.
Tarlia squealed quietly, clasping her hands together, and whispering, "Oh my gosh, you might be right Jaloon! They're freaking adorable when they're not insulting each other!"
Carthus sighed, "You know what? Assssss long assssss it keepssssss them from trouble, I don't care. Hell, maybe thissssss'll make Hysssssseessssss finally sssssstop bugging me and lissssssten to my orderssssss."
Tarlia sat down, looking up at the stars and focusing on eight distant planets among them, which she guessed were the groups'. Carthus sat beside her, while Jaloon decided to head back to the house.
"Hey Tarlia," Carthus asked, "I've been meaning to assssssk ssssssomething ssssssince the group converssssssation, but it'ssssss kind of a sssssstupid quesssssstion."
Tarlia smiled back at him, leaning backwards on her arms, "Shoot!"
Carthus took off his flat cap, and ruffled his messy black hair, "Well, I jusssssst want to assssssk: why did you sssssstart a ssssssexual relationsssssship with everyone but me?"
Tarlia giggled, placing her hand on his shoulder. "Because you're my Moirail, silly! You aren't supposed to do that sort of thing with a Moirail!"
"Moirail? You… actually conssssssider me your Moirail?"
"Of course! How could you never realize this?"
Carthus sighed, "I jusssssst though that I could never be friendssssss with you, let alone Moirailssssss. I mean, you're thissssss ssssssophissssssticated, cute, and ssssssmart blue blood, and I'm jusssssst… me."
"But that's why I like you! You wear these cool clothes, you can bring people together to solve problems, but on top of that you're almost ten times smarter than anyone I know! Where's this coming from, Carthus?"
"Hysssssseessssss. Every time sssssshe callssssss me a low-blood, it remindssssss me of my sssssshortcomingssssss, you know?"
"Are you kidding? You've got these awesome telepathic and telekinetic powers because of your blood! I'd kill for powers like that."
"Well, I-"
Tarlia interrupted the troll, wrapping her arm around him. "No, no 'well.' You're amazing Carthus, and it doesn't matter what Hysees says, the rest of us-me, Pially, Jaloon, Matt, and I'm sure Tara if she were here- all think you're an amazing leader, despite you're tendency to be a little mean! Hysees, as much as I wish to not say, will just have to suck it up and follow your lead. And through everything, I'll always be by your side; you know, with moral support!"
Carthus glanced down, before chuckling, "You're too good for anyone, Tarlia. Although we may have to deal with your weird necrophiliac tendenciessssss before you can sssssstart a Matesssssspritsssssship with Tara, hmm?"
The two turned back to the sky, and Tarlia said, "Already one step ahead there. You'll find I've cut off all the romantic relationships with them as well."
"Ew. But that'ssssss good." The two were silent for a few moments, before Carthus continued, "Love you platonically, Tarlia."
"Love you platonically too, Carthus."