I've been in this BnB room for weeks I go out for food and to walk only so the old women that owns the place will not get suspicions I could spend every minute of the day reading from Anna's journal.

I'm more than half way through the book, I have read over 2 thousand pages and most things I understand but there are things that I assume were just random phrases

'you will be brave and scared but assume position, feel the current run through you, guide it to your hands and push, eliminate your enemies'

I had no idea what she was talking about but I continued to read, and through out I learned more about what I am, and the things I can and will be able to do, the more I read the more depressed I got, all my life I would be a walking weapon, people would try to use me for their greed and they would kill me to prevent me using them against them.

I would never be able to live a normal life like humans, Moroi or Dhampir's as I was not anything like them, I had been pretending to be human a few months ago but that was before I found out what I am to become.

There was one page in the book that almost convinced me not to fight, or to try any more.

'this is the one thing in this whole book that brings tears to my eyes as a write, I lost my child many years ago and have soon found out that, most shadow-kissed will lose many children in their life time, our bodies are to complicated to handle, however it is not impossible, and is we do manage to bare a child, it will have no such affects that we have it will be born completely healthy and normal.

But the chances of this are so high that if you do not handle heart break easily then I suggest you do not try to have young'

I had felt my heart falter when reading this passage, my eyes were burning and I felt weak.

Now I knew while Anna had never tried again to have a baby with Vlad I thought it was because she couldn't bring her self to do it after the loss of her child but now I knew she could not bring herself to lose a child.

I may be brave and strong, and can handle most things but I had seen the look on Anna's face when she had talked about losing her son and I saw the hurt and pain. Then I remembered the look on Viki's and Christians face when Rosalie wasn't breathing when she was born and they had screamed and sobbed as I tried to revive her, I do not think I could go through that my heart would brake and my spirit would be lost.

I had not read any more that night I had cried until I feel into a comforting blackness and slept.

Since that night I have still felt a emptiness inside me but I have continued I vowed to myself that if I could not have my own child I would protect other's from the evils in the world.

I had learned more about my gifts and how to controls them once they came, Anna said she gained a new gift every few years but some how when I remembered Mason's words 'your advancing quicker than her' I new I would be facing new gifts soon.

I had read about the one I got a few weeks before, when I was fighting the Strigoi and I had felt a new rush of energy run though my body and I was stronger, faster and more dangerous, I had been pulling the darkness from them and using it to defect them.

It was kinda like what I used to do with Lisa, I would pull the darkness from her but before it had made me angry and lash out. But my body and mind had found a new way to use it, I pushed it into my body and it helped me fight better. The more darkness I pulled into myself the more dangerous I was and when fighting a group of Strigoi it came in useful.

It was 3 weeks after, I found the book I discovered a new one, my body could bend and stretch in different ways then should be possible.

I was fighting a Strigoi, and he caught me of guard and his fist was about to hit me straight in the nose when my body leaned back my head was touching the floor, then I straightened up and staked him, he had been so confused my spine should have snapped like a twig with that bend but I felt, strong and it felt natural to bend that way.

I had visited Anna and she had just laughed, Vlad had smirked "now that's a gift I can remember, the way she used to bend..." and he trailed of into his memories, Anna had blushed and wouldn't meet my eyes, I had burst out laughing startling them both "that could come in handy" I giggled in-between gasps.

Anna and Vlad have been so happy since Adam came home, he has his own room its pale blue with race cars every were, you could see the light in their eyes now and the love in their eyes when they look at him, when I visited last he was not the same child he was maybe 2 or 3 years old running around the garden whilst Vlad chased him, I was shocked and confused

Anna smiled "he felt unhappy when he didn't have his mum or dad, so he stayed the same small baby, but now we are reunited he will grow and change until he is happy with a certain age, which I think he will wont to stay young" I nodded even though I was still confused and shocked.

He was beautiful he looked so much like Vlad but with Anna's eyes, his dark brown hair fell in curls around his face and he had an adorable smile.

The women who owned the BnB was getting a bit weird with me, so I decided it was time to leave, I packed my things and headed off, I didn't know or care where I was going as long as it was somewhere warm, and with a bed.

I didn't go far just across the river and a few miles away some were called Seaham, I got off the bus at the coast, it was beautiful, there was a little cove, surrounded by rocks and rocky banks, the sand was mainly small pebbles and the sea was dark and ice cold but sitting the watching the sun set was so relaxing.

I had been sitting the for hours just reading, when I felt my stomach churn and my palms get sweaty, there was 6 behind me, just watching, I put my book away and stood up, they were edging towards me thinking I was human but soon realised I wasn't when the first tried to grab me and my stake was resting in his chest. Then the battle began, but I was put off, my body was shaking and I felt hot, it was running through my body making me shake, the I remembered her words

'you will be brave and scared but assume position, feel the current run through you, guide it to your hands and push, eliminate your enemies'

This was it, what she was talking about, I concentrated on the current running through me and felt as if I could grab it and drag it around, I smiled when it reached my hands, they were burning a bright red, it looked as if my hands had been stripped of their skin, I looked up and to see their faces they were confused and yet they stood their instead of running, I turned so that I was facing them, all 5 stood together waiting for my attack but they didn't see it coming, I pulled my arms apart then slammed them together whilst a blood curdling scream escaped my body, the red current exploded from my body and ran out in front of me, they were knocked on their asses, I fell to my knees gasping for air, my lungs were tight and the air wasn't coming quick enough, the bodies in front of me were wriggling and crying in pain, I felt sorry for them, they were burning from the inside and it was my fault but they are evil creatures and they needed to be stopped.

Their bodies burned into ash while I was on the ground, I rolled onto my back still weak from this new gift, I was worried Anna said she got a new gift every couple of years I had gotten 3 new gifts in less then a year, I needed help

"Mason" I whispered but nothing happened

"Mason" I called a little louder

but the man that appeared in front of me was not Mason, it was Vlad he was smiling he came to sit beside me

"Vlad, what's happening to me ?" I whispered, I didn't have the breath or energy to talk above a whisper, he sighed

"not sure, my dear, Anna is worried but she has faith in you that you will be fine, she thinks that maybe you advancing quicker, as you are more open to the idea of what you are, you are stronger then she was at you age" she smiled I just nodded

"that was strange" I muttered, then I heard the most childish giggle that ever came from a grown man's mouth

"you were amazing, the first time Anna did that, I ran a bloody mile, I thought she had died but she was lying in a field, laughing"

I smiled he just sat with me not talking just watching the night sky take over the bright colours of the day. If I was going to be getting a new gift every few months many be it was better that I was away from my family and friends I could be a danger to them.

When he left he didn't say anything just smiled and kissed my forehead, then I was alone sitting on a beach in the cold night air.

I found a small BnB not far from the beach paid for 3 nights then went to my room, it was maybe 10 minutes before I fell asleep. My mind and body were physically running on dust, I need sleep more than I thought.

When I woke up I looked at my phone, I had slept for 2 hole days.

I got showered got dressed and went out, I walked around the streets just enjoying the fresh air, I found a little cafe down by the sea side it was small and quite, Perfect, I sat down and got a mug of tea.

I was sitting enjoying the quite when the last person I would have ever expected to walk in did so, she had not changed since I saw her last still beautiful and shy, but now she seemed as if she was alone, he had bags under her eyes and her hair looked unhealthy.

She did not see me, she ordered some tea and sat at one of the table's, she sipped her tea by herself I wondered where her guardians were, but they were outside, she should have had a near guard who sat with her at all time yet they stood outside talking, my hearing was great but hers was better and I could here them whispering to each other so she must have been able to

"she's is such a bitch" one muttered to another

"I hear she used to be an amazing person, kind, sweet and loving when she was younger, but not now" a second chimed in

"no wonder she has no one" the first smiled

I looked over to Lisa, tears were running down her face, as much as I disliked her I did not like seeing her this upset and to think that it was her guardians that were making her feel this way

"she used to have the best of us as her guardian, what's her name Janine's daughter ?"

"Rose Hathaway"

"that's her but she pushed her away until she left as her guardian"

"I heard she slept with the love of Rose's life"

"dirty fucking Moroi"

they stood laughing with each other, they must know that she can hear them, maybe not or if they did they were doing it to hurt her.

I looked over at her again, she was looking down at her hands, her body was tense and slumped over.

Again I felt sorry for her, she had no family, none of her friends talked to her, or so I hear, she is treated like royalty but behind her back people disliked her, this was never the Lisa I knew she was sweet, kind and every one loved her, either they liked her or not they had to admit she was a good person.

My eyes focussed and I could see the darkness swelling around her she must be using spirit more these days or maybe it was because I wasn't there to take it from her any more that just kept building up she had no way of realising it.

That's it, my mind suddenly put the pieces together, she was a bitch due to the darkness, or maybe she was just a bitch, I knew I should want to punch her face in but my heart still remembered the little blonde haired girl, that used to play dolls with me, and climb tree's even though she didn't like to, she did it to make me happy.

Her guardians were still outside laughing at her, they were pissing me off but I controlled it until one said something I could not ignore

"she's such a stupid whore I wonder if her family killed themselves to get away from her" they were laughing at this like it was funny.

I stood and walked out side, I tapped the one who had said this on his shoulder when he turned to face me, my fist smashed in to his face, he fell to the floor and the other's went to grab me, each facing their own hit and lying next to their friend

"You should be fucking ashamed, call your self guardians, I have met Strigoi with more sense of honour and duty they the 3 of you, you worthless pieces of shit, I ever hear about you talking about a charge you are protecting like that again I will rip you into pieces" I kept my voice low so the humans around us did not hear

they looked shocked but once was smiling he had a fucking nerve and he was pissing me off more as every second past

"yeah, you and what army, you stupid little blood whore" he whispered so low I could have missed it, to bad for him I did not, I grabbed is throat and cut his air supply officially

"I don't need no fucking army, I've killed more then you could fucking dream, you will be a fucking ant under my boot" I snapped, I pushed him back onto the ground I stood up and looked at the other's

"who is you boss ?" I muttered

"Guardian Smith, at the court, 3 miles from here" one answered seeing that I could harm them, they were willing to act friendly and tell me what I wish

"I will be returning to court and I will be seeing Smith and telling them of this incident, I assure you there will be consequences, you should be grateful I am allowing you so face punishment from them instead of me"

As I turned to enter the cafe, one grabbed my wrist, but when I turned and looked at his fingers around my wrist, he held his hands up to show he meant no harm

"what is your name ?" I looked ashamed so I answered

"Rose Hathaway" I smiled

with that they all stood up and bowed fast so that no human could have seen it

"forgive us, Guardian Hathaway, what we did was unacceptable"

I could not stand their and fight with them over this, I walked in the cafe grabbed my bag, with one last look at Lisa, she looked surprised to see me, but mouthed 'thank you' before I turned and left.

I was back at my room within 5 minutes and an extra 10 minutes everything was packed into my holdall and I was leaving, I got a cab and asked to be dropped of a mile from the court, it looked like a large school, with a fence running around it, no human would question it they would just walk on by.

I walked up to the main gate and the Guardian looked at me and smiled

"name miss ?"

"Rose Hathaway, I'm just dropping by need to speak with Guardian Smith" I smiled, it wouldn't hurt to be polite.

He nodded and allowed me to pass, this court was smaller them most and looked old, but it still had it's beauty.

I walked to the Guardian's dorm, and waited.

I tall Guardian walked over to me, he was thin, with dark hair but the odd grey hair was growing through, he was in his late 30's maybe, and looked like he had a hard life. There was a long thick scar along his left check, it looked sore but it was healed over.

" I hear you are looking for me, I'm Guardian Smith" he held out his hand, and I took it

"Rose Hathaway" I smiled, he looked taken back

"it's a honour to meet you, you are a legend among our kind, I hope you don't take this wrong but most were starting to wonder if you were a myth" he laughed I couldn't help but laugh also

"We've heard stories of you kills and your amazing fighting skills, its a honour just to be known as your kind" he smiled

"ok, Smith, I know you mean well but I kinda don't deal well with people giving me honour for killing, in my eyes its still killing" I spoke softly so not to show my anger, he nodded

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you" he looked ashamed I placed my hand on his shoulder

"I came here to report a few of you Guardians" I whispered low so no one else would hear

"is there some were more private we could talk" he nodded and lead me into a small room with a desk and 2 chairs, I sat and began to explain

" I was in a cafe when the Princess Lisa came in" I mentally slapped my self for using that name instead of her royal name but I continued

"she was sitting in a cafe alone, her guardians were outside, if I am mistaken one should have been with her in the cafe" I waited he nodded and looked down in thought

"I'm so sorry, I will guarantee her Guardians are punished, he looked at me and smiled but what I said next whipped that smile away

"that's not the worst of it" I muttered

"they were standing outside the cafe referring to her in such insulting ways, they even went as far as to call her a bitch and make fun of her families death, their exact words were 'maybe they killed themselves to get away from her', I do not assume to know what your guardians are taught here but I knew for a fact they learn about Moroi intense hearing, so if I could hear them then they must have known that she could" I took a deep breath he was about speak but I continued

"I regret to tell you I could not control my anger and shame at them, they are lowing the standards of our kind by being to disrespectful. I may have cause them some injuries not major one's but still, I have also made it known that in my mind they are not worthy of being guardians, and if not for the case of killing I would have strung them up myself" I wait for him to deal with what I have just told him.

"I feel ashamed that you have had to see that" he muttered

I was about to protest but he held his hand up and continued

"no, you can be kind and not judge but they are my men, they should have shown the princess more respect then that, I will be dealing with them myself, I hope you do not find me out of line by asking but the last I heard you hated the princess why would you stick up for her ?"

I laughed but it is a humourless laugh Smith see this and looked down ashamed that he asked

"I do not care for the princess personally no but that does not mean she should be treated like you men have treated her, she is Moroi, a royal and should be respected and protected it is the job we choice to do, and I take pride in my work, your men should now better, do not let person emotions get in the way of out job" I stand to leave

"Guardian Smith I will be leaving but I ensure you if I hear of this type of behaviour again I will come for you head, you are their leader so lead them" he does not say anything else he knows it is not the time to talk, so I leave.

I found a empty room, and slept my dream was plain and calm.

I woke up early the next day, it was ringing outside as usual, I was becoming used to the weather in England it was either raining, strong winds, thunderstorms, ice, snow or worse, there was very hardly a nice day but when they do have a nice day, it amazing and people make the most of them as it could be weeks or months before they see their next.

I got dressed and went to get some food, I found the cafeteria and got some food while eating, guardians would walk past and nod, I assume they have learned of my name as they always should respect to me.

Lisa walked in and stood in front of me till I looked at her

"Princess" I bowed in respect

"Guardian Hathaway, I wish to thank you for yesterday, you did not need to do that but you did and I am grateful" she smiled and waited for me to reply but I did not I just continued eating, when I did not reply she left with out another word.

I finished my food and went back to my room, I opened Anna's journal to the chapter about Bond mates then started reading about the Darkness

'your bond mate will experience darkness, when using spirit however they will grow shadows even when they do not. We had the ability to take the darkness and shadows from them, if we do not the darkness changes tum into a different person.

If you block the bond, or leave the shadows will continue to grow until they eventually kill you bond mate.

I left Vlad for over 2 years once and when I saw him again he was mean, angry and alone. But it was not him, it was the darkness, after I took it from him, he was weak and slept for many days but when he woke he was the same old Vlad'

So maybe it was the darkness I saw in Lisa yesterday that had made her into such a bitch, maybe she would still be the old Lisa if I had been around to take the darkness.

As much as I hated the idea I knew I had to, if there was some way to make her the old Lisa then maybe I should try after all she had saved my life. Even though I hate her with a deep passion I had to try.

I walked to her room and knocked I stood there waiting, she opened the door and I saw a moment of happiness flash through her then it was gone

"What do you want ?"she snapped, I almost turned and walked away, I did not understand why I was even trying when she was such a bitch but I still stood there

"we need to talk" I stated with no emotion behind it

"look just because you stood up for me, does not mean I like you, your still a fucking blood whore" she smiled

this made my anger break I grabbed her throat and pushed her into the room, slamming the door behind me

"just so were clear I hate your fucking guts and wish for nothing more then to drain the life from you myself" I snapped then dropped her to the floor

"but since you saved my life when we were younger I will return the favour by helping you and then we are even and I can fuck off and leave you to your pathetic life, which is alone and bitch I find that fucking great" is smiled a horrid grin and then walked over to her door locking it

"so what you gorna fucking kill me, well do it I don't care"

I turned and looked down at her she meant it she actually wanted to die, how low her life must be for her to wish that

"I'm not going to kill you, but if you don't shut up I will break both you legs" she pulled herself onto the couch and sat watching me, I sat in font of her looking into her eyes

"look you don't want to do this but you need to stop blocking me from the bond" I muttered she laughed

"why the fuck would I do that ?"

"so I can take the fucking darkness from you, now do it" I snapped, fear crossed her face and she nodded

I leaned back and for the first time in over 4 years I went into a part of my mind that I hadn't touched, I felt my mind resist and try to pull back but I pushed. It was like trying to move your legs after years of not using them, but after may be 20 minutes I felt it start to feel the old tingle in my mind, I just hoped after this I could put my walls back up.

Soon I could feel her again, I was over whelmed with her emotions, hatred, love, fear, confusion, scared, anger, panic and more, each was her and yet half of them seemed out of place, then I heard her

'I'm scared, why can't they see me, I'M HERE' she was screaming in her head, it was the real Lisa, she was stuck in there screaming at the world, I felt a tear run down my check, I opened my eyes and looked at her, her skin was pale and she looked tired

"what the fuck are you looking at ?" she snapped, I shock my head and closed my eyes again.

I waited another 5 minutes until I was fully inside her head, I could feel the darkness in there fighting against her conciseness, she was strong but it was stronger it was taking her from the inside and she could not fight it.

I stood and walked over to her, I looked into her eyes

"Lisa, I know you weak and want to rest but I swear to god you leave this body and I will come to the next life and drag you back kick and fucking screaming bitch so fight" I whispered the eyes that starred back were not hers and I could not trust her words so I listened inside for her

"Rose...Rose...Rose" she just kept repeating my name over and over again

"Lisa you need to push it, push it from you ok, I will take it" I smiled

I closed my eyes and grabbed her shoulders I could feel her trying to struggle to pull free but it was no use

"FIGHT" I screamed

and then I felt it, the cold feeling spreading into my body, and pulling at my skin, it made me feel sick there was so much of it and it continued to come, how the hell had she managed to stay in their with all this darkness, it was angry and fighting but I continued to pull it into myself.

I listened in her head her voice was getting stronger and she was making more sense, she was more aware of her surroundings, and she was fighting harder to be free.

Then it stopped and her body fell back against the couch, and her eyes closed.

My body was itching and was burning, I knew how to get rid of it, and I needed to soon or I would be fighting some poor guardians.

I closed my eyes and thought of a bright light, burning strong and filling my body, I slowly felt the darkness fade and I no longer needed to fight.

Once I was sure it was gone, I opened my eyes, Lisa lay their breathing she looked more like herself her skin had more colour and for a Moroi that wasn't much, the dark shadows under her eyes had gone and she looked peaceful.

I lifted her from the couch and placed her on her bed, pulling the sheets over her, I sat watching her sleep.

I knew it was darkness that made her such a bitch I knew that but I just couldn't forgive her for sleeping with Dimitri, maybe she had known what she was doing but maybe she hadn't.

I know I was selfish and petty for not being able to forgive her but I just couldn't. I couldn't be here to help her through this I need to be away.

Dear Lisa

I have taken the darkness from you, you should be ok now.

I'm sorry for not staying but it is to hard and I need time to think.

Maybe I will see you again

Rose

And after that, I went to my room picked up my things and left. My life just seemed to be getting so much more complicated as each day passed, it was making me dread waking up in the morning I was to worried about what the day would bring ...