It was finally my due date and I was depressed at the thought of what was going to happen. I didn't know if I could do this alone and wanted more than anything for Bray to burst in the door before our son was born. I knew it wasn't going to happen though. I needed to prepare to do this alone and my goal was just to get the baby out. I laid in the bed with my hands on my belly wondering what I was even waiting for. I was having contractions for days now, each day they were getting stronger. He would eventually be out on his own soon. Katie wanted me up and trying to get him out but I was just too tired and in too much pain to even try.

"Happy Due Date!" Katie called out as she walked in with her newborn son in the baby carrier. She had given birth to her & Erick's son Remington just a couple weeks earlier. She was entirely too cheery for someone who had just given birth 2 weeks ago.
"Hey" I said depressed as she sighed. Lately, this was all I wanted to do. I didn't want to do anything but lay in this bed with his pillow.
"Come on! You gotta get up. We are gonna get this baby out of you" She said opening the curtains to allow for the sun to come in.
"I've been having contractions" I said quietly as Katie raised her eyebrows.
"Have you? Have you been timing them?" she asked as I nodded.
"About 7 minutes" I said before I winced feeling a strong one. They had gradually been getting stronger.
"Alright Remi, I gotta check Auntie. We gotta get your cousin out" She said happily as she took the baby out of the carrier and laid him in the swing that was in the room.
"His hair is getting redder" I said as Katie laughed looking at the baby in the swing.
"I knew Erick's genes were strong but jeez that kid looks like him" She said with a laugh as I stripped out of my leggings and felt her gloved hand checking me. I winched uncomfortable from her touching me but also the contraction that was starting to die down.
"Well good news is that you are dilating. I think you should be quick" She said as I nodded. I put my leggings back on and walked into the living room where my workout ball was. I sat on the ball and looked around at the open space. My birthing pool would be in the living room because I refused to have it in Bray's bedroom. It had a lot more room in there but I couldn't have our child be born in that room. I looked over at Katie who was holding Remi and looking at the space.
"I know you don't want to…" she started as I cut her off.
"No… I don't want to be in that room" I said adamantly as I bit my lip. I knew it would be better in there but I still couldn't do it.
"I'm only saying it because you would have to make the walk from here to your bedroom. I'm trying to make things better for you when I have to cut the cord" She said with annoyance in her voice as I rolled my eyes.
"Katie I can't do it in there… I can't" I said as my heart started to race.
"Yes you can, he didn't do anything to you in that bedroom. You made love the night before and that's YOUR words. You had the house cleaned multiple times and you aren't going to want to be on that uncomfortable ass bed after you give birth. You need to get over it if you are going to make this easy on you." She said bluntly as I stared back at her.
"Fine" I said not knowing what else I could say to her. I knew she was right in a way. My shit was making this harder on me, I could have a big room with a big comfortable bed. The room was spotless after Katie had finished with it when she was nesting.
"I'm sorry to be like that with you but I'm trying to help you and make this birth as easy as possible and these stupid ass things of not going in a room because of him isn't making it easy. I know you are scared and I know you want him but it's gonna get scarier. You have to be strong" she said hugging me as I started to tear up.
"I'll walk in there with you right now and we will see how you feel. It maybe better for you" She said as I nodded walking with her. I walked past the wall I was pushed into and instantly felt a shudder down my spine. She opened the door and instead of the room I dreaded, it was the room I first saw when I moved here. It smelt like Bray still, everything was the way it needed to be.
"See, look at all the room, plus it's close to the bathroom" She said as we walked in and I instantly teared up. On Bray's nightstand was the picture of us together and the ring box from when he gave me my ring. I walked over to my side and saw the engagement ring on the nightstand. I could've gotten rid of this but knew in my heart I couldn't.
"I want to do it in here" I said quietly not knowing what lead me to the choice but knowing that I felt him in here made it feel right.

3 hours later, I was hanging on the ball on the floor as Katie, Erick, Luke, and Braun were talking about getting the birthing pool blown up. I was trying to focus everything I could through the contraction without screaming.
"Oww" I groaned out as Braun walked over and let me hold his hand.
"I know this is scary as shit but you are doing so well. We are all so proud of you" He said as I nodded and let out another cry.
"Katie… something feels weird" I said as Braun let go of my hand and she walked over with her gloves on.
"Maybe your water broke?" She said as she reached down and there was blood on her hands.
"Alright, so we are having a baby soon for sure" She said laughing as I nodded and Braun looked wide-eyed.
"Uh.. that's a lot of blood" He said as Katie laughed
"It's called a bloody show, your…. Mucus plug falls out with some blood. It means the baby is coming" Katie said as I took a deep breath. I was so happy she was there because she was instantly taking charge.
"Luke, I need you to strip the bed down to the sheets and put these on" She said handing him the sheets we bought that we didn't mind getting dirty.
"Braun, I need you to use the pump and blow up the birthing pool" She ordered as Erick looked over.
"I need you to get the hose ready like I had it. I'll feed the baby and then we'll be ready" she said as Erick just nodded. Everyone scattered as I walked into the bathroom and started to clean myself up. I looked at all of the blood and instantly started to get scared. I needed Bray here to help me. I hurried to clean up and walked out seeing Erick with the hose getting ready to get everything set up with the water. I sat on the bed with the newly changed sheets as Luke let out a sigh.
"Promise me you will say nothing" Luke said as I looked at him strangely.
"What are you talking about?" I asked him as he handed me Erick's phone. It was unlocked and right there on the screen was a text from Bray. It plain as day said Bray.
"He….. He" I started to say as I read the last message.
"I don't know what I'm doing, I want to be there for this. I can't miss my child's birth but Abigail, I don't know if she's gone and I can't hurt her" I read as my hands shook.
"Bray, it's Y/N…. I found Erick's phone and I need you. I need you so much and I want you here. I'm terrified and I can't do this alone. I'm not strong enough and he needs me to be strong. Maverick… he needs his dad. You are the only one who knows his first name right now other than me. Please… come home" I typed before quickly pressing send and holding the phone in my hands. I felt a vibrate and saw text that made my heart drop.
"My angel, I can't. I know you want me there and I know you need me but I don't want to put you or Maverick in danger. Please… just understand why I need to do this. I will be back, I promise you, I just can't tell you when. I need you to be a good mama to our son. I need you to protect him and make sure he safely comes into the world. I think about you everyday and I love you more than this world. Please my little lamb, just understand for me. I'm thinking about you and I know you can do this. You are so strong, you are the light who fights all of the darkness. I love you" I read as I had tears in my eyes. I set the phone down on the nightstand and didn't look at it again. I was truly in this alone and I had to make it through.
"Thank you" I whispered to Luke as he just nodded walking by. I watched Katie walk in breastfeeding Remi as she looked everything over.
"Everything looks great" She said as Erick walked in with the hose and started filling the tub up. I knew he was going to see the text message and I really didn't care. She handed Remi to Erick once the hose was going and Braun was now watching the temperature.
"Alright, I need to check everything" She said putting two medical sheets down as I took off my pants. I knew the guys were going to see everything so I didn't really care at this point. It wasn't in a sexual way and more than likely they would be grossed out by what they saw. She turned on the heart monitor and listened in as we could hear his heart beating as normal but this time he was a lot lower than usual.
"He's moving down there just like he needs to" She said with a smile as I nodded before a contraction hit me.
"Oh god" I cried out as I held the side of the bed and instantly Katie had my hands in hers with the gloves off.
"That's it, breathe" She said as I tried to focus on breathing and not thinking about Bray.
"You are doing so well" She said quietly as I nodded. I didn't feel like I was doing well at all, it felt like I was in so much pain and getting him out was the worst feeling in the world.
"I think it's at 99" Braun said as Katie smiled up at him
"See, the tub is ready to go. You will feel so much better once you are in there" she said happily as I felt the contraction starting to die down. When I felt steady enough to talk over, I got in the tub with only my black bralette on and let out a sigh feeling the heat starting to relax my muscles.
"Oh god it's already better" I groaned as Katie smiled over at Braun who was looking away.
"It's okay Braun, if you stay in here you will eventually see something" I said as
"If anything, you will never have a child though" Katie added as she handed Luke a couple washcloths.
"Can you wet these with cool water? We are going to keep her body temperature down some" Katie said as Luke nodded walking into the bathroom. I watched Braun move over and take my hand in his as I leaned against the side of the tub.
"I know he would want to be here if he could…" Braun said quietly as I felt the tears roll down my cheeks.
"I hope so" I whispered as I felt another contraction and let out a loud groan squeezing Braun's hand as Luke put a cool washcloth on my neck.
"That's it, you are doing good, breathe" Katie said as she grabbed the heart monitor and a new set of gloves. She turned it on and checked the heartbeat as I took a deep breath trying to breathe through everything.

2 hours later…

I felt exhausted already and I knew I was getting close. Braun had turned on my stereo trying to relax me as Luke was now holding my hand. I could feel Katie check the heartbeat again and she was so low she was almost inside me.
"Alright, it shouldn't be too much longer. Remember when we are doing this, you need to let gravity work with you so if you feel like it move yourself up" She said as I watched her get the towel ready and everything else she needed. It wasn't much longer and I would have Baby Maverick in my arms. I was letting out loud groans and whines as I felt him moving down.
"I need him out" I cried as Katie nodded and smiled up at me.
"I know, I know. You are almost there. I promise" She said as I let out another loud scream of pain. I leaned against the pool and grabbed Luke's hand as I let out another scream of pain.
"Okay, that's it. Do what feels natural" Katie said as I instantly started to push just to get it over with but it was worse.
"Give me your hands" Katie said as I let go of Luke's and balanced myself enough to let Katie's hands guide me down. I felt him there and I pulled him up to my chest with tears in my eyes. I had done it, I gave birth. Katie started rubbing him with the towel as I just looked down at him. He had a lot of dark curls, a chubby little face, and porcelain skin. He looked almost identical to Bray other than my lips and ears.
"Oh my god" I cried as I felt him to my chest and heard him let out a loud cry. I looked up seeing Erick check his phone before taking a picture. I didn't care if he saw the text or anything else. I had Maverick in my arms safely and he was all that mattered in the world.
"You are so perfect" I said as he cracked open his eyes and it was like Bray's were looking back at me. I let out a sob as Katie looked down at him with tears in her eyes.
"You look just like your daddy, he would love you so much" She whispered as I nodded still sobbing. I held him to my chest as Katie started checking his vitals and smiled over at me.
"He's perfect in every way" She said happily as she put his little gray and white beanie on his head matting down his dark curls.
"Alright, I'm going to cut the cord" She said as she cut the cord. He was finally free from me.
"What's his name?" Braun asked as I looked down at him lovingly. I had his first name but I couldn't decide on his middle name. I knew in that moment what it would be though.
"Maverick Bray Wyatt" I said as Katie nodded before starting to take action again.
"Alright, let's move her to the bed" she said as Braun and Luke looked at her like she was insane.
"Erick can you help me?" She asked slightly frustrated that he was just looking at his phone and not helping out.
"Yeah" He said getting up and helping me out of the tub to make sure that I wouldn't fall over. We had towels and a medical sheet on the bed. I laid on the bed and Katie walked over
"Why don't you try breastfeeding him?" She said as I nodded, I pulled down my bralette and he instantly latched on satisfied that it was finally there. I covered myself up but looked down at Maverick who opened his eyes again as he sucked.
"Mommy's right here… angel. My angel" I said proudly as Erick walked in the other room to check on Remi leaving Katie, Braun, and Luke.
"He looks so much like Bray" Braun said as I nodded looking down at him as he still sucked.
"Are you okay?" Luke asked as I shook my head.
"Physically yes, emotionally no" I said as I held Maverick's tiny fingers in my hand.

Braun and Luke left shortly after leaving Katie, Erick, and I there. I was holding Maverick against my chest as Katie was starting to clean everything up.
"I saw the text you sent" Erick said as I looked up at him not knowing what he was going to do.
"I had to try to something, he shouldn't have missed this. This is our son and he missed this" I quietly as Erick grit his teeth.
"You are truly that stupid then. He almost killed you… he's protecting you and you don't care" he said as I was taken back by what he had said to me.
"Don't text him again, he doesn't want to talk to you" Erick said as I looked down at Maverick.
"Yes, he does…He loves Maverick and I" I said as Erick shook his head.
"He doesn't want to talk to you, you aren't helping him" He repeated as I looked over as Erick got up and walked out. I was alone in the room and I did the only thing I could think of, I cried. After everything was cleaned up, Katie left saying she would check in on me through the night. I was exhausted and I knew that I now was alone with this baby. I laid in the guest room again because I didn't want to be in the room anymore. Giving birth in there was enough for me. I looked over at Maverick who was asleep next to me in a light blue sleeper. I heard my phone beep and looked over seeing a voice memo from an email address that I didn't know. I didn't know if it was someone trying to spam me but I then opened it.
"This is like when we first got together isn't it Angel? I remember you used to play these to sleep at night until you had me by your side. I'm sorry I wasn't there today, I wanted to be and believe me I feel like a jerk because of it. What I did to you… I will never forgive myself and I don't know how you could ever forgive me. I never wanted to disappoint you and I know today I did…. Along with the last 9 months but today didn't just affect us. I love you little lamb and I love Maverick. I'm walking around without my heart right now. Abigail is gone forever but… I need to be sure of that before I risk anything. I dream about what happened to you and I need to get past this all. Please… just give me time and I promise I will make this up to you if you let me" he said as I started to cry.
"I love you Bray, please come home. I… We need you" I whispered into a voice memo before pressing send and having it come back that it didn't exist anymore. I listened to what Bray had sent again before crying myself to sleep.