Before the darkness used to scare me and I would have been terrified to use my gift as they left me physically and emotionally drained and I knew I would be eventually dragged into the darkness but now it was something soothing and familiar to me, I liked the time I spent there as I would clear my mind whilst my body rested.
Before the darkness used to scare me and I would be terrified to use my gifts as they left me physically and emotionally drained and I knew I would be eventually dragged into the darkness but now it was soothing and familiar to me, I liked the time I spend there as I would clear my mind while my body rested.
Some times I would create allusions to keep me entertained, I could visualise myself being in the olden days, going to a grand masquerade ball, it would be held in a large hall with thousands of candles flickering around the room, there would be a grand staircase that the guest would walk down and the others already in the room could admire the couple walking down.
Red and white ribbon tired around the structure, black walls with a grant mirror on one wall, small tables scattered around the outside of the room, there would be an amazing orchestra at one end of the room, playing beautiful music and the couples would be dancing in the centre, whilst others gathered to talk around the edges.
Everyone dressed in amazing dressed and suits, masks worn by everyone in different styles and colours, then men would have a simple mask with less decoration but in their suits they would look equally beautiful to the women at their sides.
I would stand at the top of the staircase watching the crowd below, my dress a tight corset and the the skirt flared out and trailed behind me, it fitted my body perfectly and as always was a blood red and black colour. My mask was the same style of my dress, black with a red pattern around the eyes, a red feather at the side. My hair fall lose around my shoulders, my skin glowing in the candle light as I stood there and waited for my prince charming to come and sweep me off my feet.
As I start to give up hope that he will come for me, his warm hands snake around my waist and his breath tickled the back of my neck
"may I have this dance, my love" he whispers to me, in a husky voice that sends shivers down my spine causing a smile to brake across my face
I hold my hand out to the side of my body accepting his offer and wait for him, his slides under mine and that is when I truly see the beauty of this dream, he is wearing a black suit with a white as snow shirt under it, his waistcoat blood red along with his tie, almost as if he was dressed to match me and me alone.
He wore a black mask with red pattern down the left side, it covered both eyes and the left side of his face, his hand small white diamond shaped jewels around the eyes, from where his brown eyes bore into mine. His lips held the most mouth watering smile upon then as he kissed my hand.
"always" I smile and we started our descent down the staircase and into the crowd of people, everyone's identity secret and the fun was in the game, but would always know my prince no matter what he was dressed in.
We spin around the room with such grace and ease, smiling and laughing, the music was in the background along with everyone else in the room, there was only myself and my prince holding each other and taking in the beauty. Myself and Dimitri.
It was always him in every one of these dreams, it didn't matter which one, lovers in Paris, star-struck lovers in Hollywood, a soldier and a maiden and so many more. It never worried me which dream it was he was always there and that was all I needed.
I could feel myself coming out of the darkness, my body must have recovered or else I wouldn't be waking, I waited and slowly could start and understand the voices around me, I was becoming aware of someone sitting on me laughing
"she's gorna wake up soon, right daddy ?"
"yeah, baby just leave her alone to sleep"
I knew their voices instantly Christian and Rosalie.
"Daddy, Auntie Rose is way bad ass" the little girl sighed
I could hear Christian's laughter as he left the room, but the little girl remained sitting on me
"hey, when you going to wake up ? I've missed you, you've been asleep for ages, you need to wake up" she was whispering in my ear.
The idea that this small child had missed me so much made me want to cry, I had missed so much and yet it felt as if I never left.
She remained with her face really close to mine, I slowly moved my hands without alerting her that I was awake, I kept my breathing steady and waited for my best timing.
I opened my eyes the tiniest bit, she wouldn't have noticed if she had been looking at me be she wasn't, her eyes were closed and her face as inches from mine, she lay on my chest propped up on her elbows, I opened my eyes and starred at her she was really beautiful for a child, her breathing was steady and she was so quite, she opened her eyes and looked straight at me
"BOO" I shouted
I scared the hell out of her and she screamed as loud as her little lungs would allow
she tumbled of the bed on landed on the floor with a thud, I could not control my laughter at this she was panting heavily and remained on the floor, tears were in my eyes from laughing
"Hey Christian, I think I just killed your kid" I laughed, I heard footsteps pounding on the stairs and up the landing until they came to the door, Christian, Dimitri, My mother and my father stood at the door way looking at me.
I was laughing to hard I fell of the other side of the bed, I just lay on the floor laughing, I heard Christian start laughing but he was quite as not to upset his daughter, who by now was standing looking at me with a very displeased scowl on her face, she looked so cute, which only made me laugh more.
I stood up and placed my hands on the bed for support
"I .. think ... I ... just ... popped ... a ... lung" I gasped in-between laughs
"Auntie Rose that was not funny, I nearly wet myself" she snapped, I could see that she was not happy and I tried hard to restrain my laughing
"ok, ok, I'm calm" I muttered
I looked at her and smiled, I held my arms out for her but she didn't budge, I took a step closer and smiled
she must have seen the evil glint in my smile, as she bolted from the door and was down the stairs with me following behind her
"Paul" she screamed as she ran, then as soon as I was in the kitchen where my family was, I was knocked to the ground with a very excited Paul sitting on my legs laughing.
I lay on the ground and pulled him into my arms
"hey Pot, I missed ya" I smiled and kissed his nose
"I knew you would come back" he whispered in my ear and smiled.
"Would I ever lie to you ?" I smiled, he shock his head then he got off me, he expected me to get up myself, but I couldn't be bothered, he had just turned to walk away, not the whole family was in the kitchen
"Hey Pot, ya just gorna leave me down here ? Get your skinny ass over here and get me off this floor" I laughed
He held his hand out for me and pulled with all his strength to get me up, I pretended he did more them what he did but his smile was just an amazing thing to look at.
I sat at the kitchen table every one looking at me, the kids were in the living room eating breakfast, the others had already had theirs, the wonderful smell of bacon was drifting in the room, it was making my mouth water, my mother was about to ask something but I held up my hand
"Paul" I shouted
"yeah Flower ?" he muttered
"you mind sharing your pig with me" I laughed, I smiled when he came in the kitchen and handed me his plate, full with bacon
"love ya Pot" I smiled and kissed his nose
"forever and always, Flower" he muttered then returned into the living room.
I was picking at the bacon, when I felt the smack across the back of my head, I turned to see Yeva glaring at me
"God, Yeva smacking someone who's just been unconscious may not be a good idea" I giggled and saw every one else smirking
"you angel, are a danger to my health, you once said I would be the death of you but I am sure its you that will kill me if you kept running off and then passing-out when you come home".
She tried to look angry but ended up smiling and kissing my forehead
"missed you also" I muttered and continued to eat, every one was watching me like I was going to explode
"For fuck sake, please stop eye fucking me" I snapped, every one looked ashamed apart from my dad that just burst out laughing at my use of words.
"I don't know what you laughing at old man, I get it from you" I smiled, he reached across the table and kissed my check
"you kiddo, were fucking awesome, even better than I've saw when in England"
what ? I didn't know he had seen me fight in England, he had arrived only the day we left, that sneaky old man, he was here a lot longer than that, he smiled when he saw I worked it out.
They let me finish my food without asking any questions I washed my dish and sat back down and smiled then it started
"hunni, what happened to you ?" my mother whispered
"nothing, I just learned a few new tricks" I was confused why they assumed I was not me any more, I was me just a little different.
"so how did you do it ?" Christian muttered, I knew what he was talking about but I looked at him, and raised my eyebrow (yes ladies and gentlemen I have learned to raise one eyebrow, after years of admiring Dimitri do it) he asked again on his question
"how did you do the black ball thing ?"
"I just suck in the darkness and make it, its nothing complicated"
"its fucking amazing" Christian smiled
I could help but laugh, he was the same old Christian who I loved so much.
"it takes a lot out of me that why I tend so sleep for a while after, how long was I out for ?" I smiled
"3 days" my mother whispered
I looked around the table my whole family was here with a few extras Yeva, Olena, My mother and father, Dimitri, my sisters, Christian, the kids were in the other room, Lissa and a few guardians.
I smiled at Lissa
"nice to see you again Lissa" she seemed surprised that I had spoken to her
"you also, I can never thank you for helping me fight back" she muttered.
Her guardian's bowed to me
"Hathaway" they saluted
"I hope you have learned from our last meeting" I warned they nodded as did Lissa, I smiled
"what happened last time you saw them ?" Viki laughed when she saw the look on their faces
"she kicked our asses, we were being disrespectful to the princess and she broke my nose for it" he laughed.
"I take it you already know my family then" I smiled, she nodded and sipped her tea
Paul and Rosalie came in to join us, Paul jumped onto my knee and pulled Rosalie onto his my family sat laughing at this, I had always been extra close to Paul from the moment me and Christian first came to Russia
"so what have I missed, Paul did you finally ask little Lucy out ?" I smiled, he blushed a deep red and nodded
"awesome, she pretty" I kissed his forehead, this must have been news to the family as most of them seemed shocked that he had a girlfriend
"and when did you get a girlfriend little man ?" Yeva laughed
"I liked her for a really long time, so flower got her some flowers" he started laughing and turned to me
"flower got her some flowers" he laughed, "anyway I gave them to her when flower left, she told me I had to man up and be the little dude she loves so much" I kissed his check and smiled
"what about you, princess ?" I nudged Rosalie and smiled
"well I have a boyfriend but he died, so I only see him when I'm asleep" she muttered, now that was fucking confusing Christian looked to me and shrugged
"what you mean ?" Viki muttered, her worry was showing in her voice
"He came with Mason one night, and he asked if he could come back and he does, his name is Adam" he smiled, she was very proud of her self, I was in shock, I mean fuck me my niece was dating Anna and Vlad's died son Adam, and it was Masons fault
"well fuck a duck and see what hatches" I muttered, before getting smacked across the back of the head by Yeva for swearing
"tell Adam aunty Rose says hi, and that I will come see him soon" I smiled, and put both her and Paul on their feet, just in time for Karolina to take them to bed
"Rose, what going on with my daughter ?" Viki whispered
"she dating my nephew Adam, he's Anna and Vlad's little boy, I guess Mason had been watching her still" I smiled at the thought of Mason staying in her life to make sure she is safe.
"oh so perfectly normal than" Christian laughed, but it was a nervous laugh
we continued to talk for sometime but it was getting late, and they started separating so they could go to bed. However after sleeping that long I was not tired at all I sat out side with the blanket and a cup of tea expecting Yeva to join me but it was Lissa who came out tonight, I smiled at her. We were not on the best of terms but we were better then we were before.
"hi" I smiled
"would you mind if I joined you ?" she whispered.
I shock my head and she came to sit beside me.
"Rose, you can not even imagine how grateful I am that you got rid of the shadows, I spend many years just screaming away in my head never being herd" she sighed
"Lissa its ok, you don't have to thank me any more" I smiled
"I know Rose but I do have to explain a few things" she got comfy beside me and continued
"it started after we got back to court after saving Dimitri, I felt the shadows but when I was keeping you out so that I could help Dimitri I was locking them inside my head, they kept building up and before I knew it there was so much of them, I don't think I ever truly knew what I was doing until I had already done it. I will swear to you Rose I did not do it to hurt you, I did truly think I had feelings for him, but I knew he never loved me he had always loved you" a single tear ran down her check
"Lissa, you don't have to do this, its in my past you should just let it go and move one" I pattered her hand but she shock her head and continued
"I was angry and shocked when he refused me, I wanted him and I saw that after everything I did I deserved him, I never loved him I just wanted him as in a possession, its scares me to think about what I was like" she said that she wanted him as in a possession, I remember that, that was how Dimitri had felt about me when he was a Strigoi.
"I am so ashamed to tell you this Rose but you need to know, I have not been able to tell him yet but I will as soon as I tell you, I am so sorry and you may hate me even more after you hear this but I need to tell you" she took a deep breath, she was making me nervous
"I used my gift on him" she muttered, it was so low I was not sure I heard her right, I looked at her and raised my eyebrow
"as in you used compulsion on him ?" I asked
she did not speak she just nodded her head and sobbed, I could help but feel protective of her after all she had been my best friend most of my young life.
"Lissa that is a very horrid thing to do to a person but I know personally that you were not yourself when you did those things" I whispered
"you need to start and forgive yourself" I smiled and stood up
"come on, its been a long day I think we could both use some sleep" she took my hand and we walked into the house, I bid her good night then went to my room, I opened the door and was about to turn on the light, when I noticed him, curled up on the bed he locked like a god, his skin was glowing in the moon light that came through the window
he lifted his head and looked shocked
"Roza, I'm sorry, Yeva told me to take my old room, I will leave" he started to get his things, I shock my head and sat down on the bed.
"Dimitri I think its time we talked" I smiled
He sat beside me and turned so that we could see each other's face.
"Dimitri, Lissa has just told me something I think you need to know" I whispered
I told him about my conversation with Lissa, he looked ashamed and angry, I explained that she was not herself and that I knew that personally from being in her head.
"I'm sorry" he muttered
"Don't be, maybe if we had talked before now, this may have been resolved by now" I smiled
"I don't blame you for not wanting to see or speak to me, what we did was something that can not be forgiven, I can not imagine what you went through" a tear ran from his eye, down his check and fell onto his hand that rested on his leg.
I have not been this uncomfortable around Dimitri for some time, and yet I sat here and my heart felt warm and fuzzy.
"I went looking for you when you left before" he smiled
"why ?"
"I have always loved you and still do, when I read your letter and you told me you loved me my heart was pounding in my chest, I had waited so long to hear if it was still even possible for you to feel any love towards me, but hen when you told me to move and on find someone else and have a baby, it ripped from my chest again, I needed to find you to show you that I was going to fight for you, I travelled every were, I was even in England for some time but I never found you or any trace of you, I have only been back home for maybe 3 months" he smiled
We starred at each other, just looking into each other's eyes, I had missed them so much and yet I saw them every night in my dreams, they were the eyes that always me smile and think of love, it was in these few small moments that I realised I had forgiven him a long time ago, I just needed him to fight for me.
We sat and talked for hours, just talking about our travels he asked about what I did in England, I told him about Lou and the guys and about going to uni, he liked the idea of me learning about vampire's as myths, he laughed.
He told me about, travelling around searching for me, and about meeting new people, but most of all he told me of how much he missed me.
I told him about some of my new gifts and about travelling to the world of the dead, about Anna and Vlad and their little boy.
He was interested in Anna's journal, I told him that one day I might let him read it.
We were sitting in silence just relaxing and enjoying being around each other this way.
"Roza do you think you could ever love me again ?" he whispered into the dark, I smiled to myself
"Comrade I have never stopped loving you, I always have and always will" I felt his hand moved from his leg and cover mine, his finger entwined with mine, it felt right and safe, I smiled.
It had been a long time since I used his nickname, it gave me butterflies to say it, he was the love of my life and I wanted so badly to be with him but we needed to work together to rebuild the trust before we could be truly together.
I slid under his arm and rested my head on his chest
"Roza, I will do anything to prove myself to you, you are my everything" he muttered as he kissed the top of my hair.
"its gorna take time, to gain my trust but we can try" I whispered, he lay down on his back and pulled me down with him, I lay with my head on his chest, it wasn't long before I felt my breath slow into a sleepy pattern, just before I fell asleep I heard Dimitri whisper
"You are my Goddess, I will show you that I worship the ground you walk on, I love you my Roza" he kissed my forehead and then I was sleep