Hey everyone! Long time no see. To anyone still reading this fic, THANK YOU! I know it's been forever since I updated, but hopefully despite school starting again I can begin uploading things more frequently. I'm not at that point yet, but in a couple of chapters I might have to go on a temporary hiatus as I try to work out plot for this story. In the meantime, please check out a poll I put up to let me know which fanfiction you'd like to see from me next! I have a better plan for writing and updating stories on a regular basis now, so hopefully school won't get in the way of that too much. ALSO, I would strongly suggest rereading this fic from chapter one, as a lot has been added and some plot points have been changed and fleshed out for a (hopefully) more immersive read. My focus has been horrible lately, so please forgive any errors throughout the story as far as word repetition/general clumsiness goes. I'll be reading over everything with a fresh eye in the next few weeks in case there's any errors that need to be fixed. Until next time, please review and tell me what you think! I'd love to hear from everyone after such a long break. By the way, if anyone is curious about where I am between updates, feel free to check out my new YouTube channel "Carlisle Grimm". I uploaded a video about my "Dream Eating Monochrome Baku" collection and figured anyone reading this might be interested in that. If anyone's curious I'll release my twitter username as well, but I generally just post life stuff there and it tends to be more of a diary of my daily adventures which I'm sure is quite boring. Though at this point it may be the best way to communicate and keep everyone in the loop with my writing progress when I've seemingly disappeared without a trace, so let me know if you'd like that! Thanks!
~xxx~
Len arrived back at the institute feeling disheveled and flighty, his head crowded with thoughts he had neither the time or patience to quiet down. He glanced down at the rose still tightly clutched in his hand since he left Miku's room. Occasionally an image of the girl lying crumpled and sobbing on the floor of her room would flit across his mind, but he tried to ignore the thoughts for now. Slipping the bloom into his breast pocket, Len paused as he reached for one of the heavy double doors and grimaced as he noted his visibly trembling hands. He inhaled deeply and closed his eyes for a moment, trying to allow the scent of the rose to calm his nerves with little success. Opening his eyes, the baku gripped the knob and pulled the door open, greeted by the familiar halls made of the same dark polished wood as the doors.
Aside from the echo of the door closing behind him, Len seemed to be entirely alone, though he knew to not be fooled by the sense of solitude he felt. While bakus were undoubtedly still out for the night, the varying time zones made for a constant stream of workers milling about the grounds. He felt his heart pound as he began briskly walking down the halls, each rapid click of his shoes reminding him to fight back the urge to run. He hated feeling nervous and wanted to shake it as soon as possible. The sensations of his stomach prickling and his head filling with dread made him feel vulnerable, which would only make the sensation heighten and add more agony to the emotion. After all the full moons he'd endured, he knew the sensation should die down, but it only got worse with each passing month. It didn't help that his experience with Miku had been… unconventional, to say the least, and he'd been going mad as he waited to see what would come of it. Another flash of Miku's face, stained in the teal gushing from her eyes came to his mind unbidden and made his stomach drop. He grimaced, unaccustomed to feeling remorse for actions directed towards his prey. This wasn't the first person Len had done this to, though he always hoped it was the last. A dangerous emotion he'd learned to suppress. Underneath his anxiety, he hated to admit that he always felt a sense of hope, even stronger than usual tonight, which would only make the consequential disappointment more difficult to work through. Still, he couldn't give up, not now, when his hands were stained red with his sins, not when he was so close. He couldn't reverse what he'd done, not with all the progress he'd made.
He only hoped that when it was all over she'd understand.
Len was ripped back into reality as he felt himself stumble over his own feet. He was breathless, unaware of how quickly he'd been moving since he'd gotten lost in his thoughts. With a scowl, he begrudgingly slowed his pace. Despite his relaxed appearance, his head was spinning as he meandered down the familiar corridors, adrenaline heightening his nervousness even more as he got closer to his quarters. Another baku would occasionally pass him in the hall, but would quickly be on their way after a word of greeting or a nod in Len's direction.
While it was convenient for the other bakus, Len had always hated living in the dormitories at the institute. As gorgeous and expansive as they were, he preferred to be reserved about his life and valued his privacy. It didn't help that he had to remain inconspicuous or risk getting found out, all his efforts wasted by one wrong move. Still, despite his concerns of privacy, gaining freedoms like his unlimited access to the human world meant working for the institute had its benefits.
He turned a corner and tried to stop himself from scowling when he caught a glimpse of a brown and pink haired pair.
"Damn," he hissed, eying the familiar women as they continued their animated conversation. He straightened when they turned to the sound of someone walking down the hall. The bakus waved Len down as he approached and he begrudgingly managed a cordial smile.
"Well, well, well, if it isn't Len!" the short brown haired baku called, resting a hand on her hip as she eyed the boy.
"Meiko. Luka." Len replied as he nodded to them both in greeting.
The pink haired baku, Luka, smiled at the boy and tucked a long lock of hair behind her ear. "I haven't seen you around lately. Have you been busy?"
"Very. And how are you both on this lovely evening?" Len replied coolly.
"Can't complain," Meiko laughed.
"What a pretty flower," Luka commented, her face brightening as she pointed at the rose still grasped in the boy's hand.
Meiko grinned mischievously. "A pretty girl must've given it to him."
He glanced down at the rose as if he'd forgotten it was there, then shot the women a coquettish look. "I suppose you could say that," he smiled with an obviously feigned innocence.
Meiko laughed and elbowed him gently. "Ugh, Len, I'm so jealous. I want gifts from my contractees, too!" Meiko laughed.
Luka placed a finger to her cheek as she pondered the comment. "Now that you mention it, I can't recall the last time a human has given me a present."
"Len just gets all the good humans I guess. Maybe you can send a few my way?" Meiko teased with a snicker.
Len laughed. "I can't promise you anything, I'm quite efficient with my clients."
"Aren't we all," Luka yawned knowingly. "I'm sorry to leave so quickly but if you two will excuse me, I'm going to get some rest." Luka reached for a nearby door, the air around the knob sparkling pink for a few seconds before the door clicked open. The woman waved goodnight as she slipped into her chamber.
Meiko leaned in confidentially. "She's been out making new contracts almost every night," she explained in hushed tones. "She might be trying to expand her ward."
Len raised his eyebrows and looked at the door leading to Luka's room. "Impressive."
The brown haired woman sighed. "I feel tired just looking at her! I think I need a break, too..." She shot Len a smile. "I should probably get going. Where you headed?"
"Oh, I'm not sure," Len waved vaguely down the direction of the hall. "Though I could use some rest myself…"
"I understand. I'll talk to you later then, yeah?"
Len nodded in agreement and smiled as Meiko passed him and walked down the hall.
She turned and grinned. "And don't forget to save some of the cute ones for the rest of us!"
"We'll see!" Len laughed and watched the girl retreat, his smile dropping once he was sure the baku was gone. He waited a moment more, and headed in the opposite direction of Meiko, praying he didn't run into any more acquaintances searching for a chat.
Just looking at him, he was certain they couldn't have possibly been able to tell that anything was wrong. His clothes were neat, his hair well kempt, same as every other day he passed them in the halls and stopped for a chat. As always, everything about him seemed entirely flawless and unassuming, though he was still amazed they couldn't hear his heart practically beating out of his chest or somehow see just how panicked and desperate he was feeling when they talked with him. He shook his head and tried to calm himself. Of course they couldn't tell. He'd never allow himself to make such a foolish mistake. He couldn't imagine what would happen if he did and another baku discovered what he'd been up to, and he certainly wasn't about to find out. Still, small talk had never been more painful and each second of the conversation had been agony, only serving to make him more tense than ever after the discussion. Even if he played it off, talking about work never failed to make him feel antsy and Luka noticing the rose didn't help his fraying nerves.
His ever aching jaw pounded in protest with the new tension, and he tried to refrain from grinding his teeth as his mind turning once more to Miku of all people.
Of course, he thought irritably. She'd grown on him in the past few weeks whether he wanted to admit it or not. He'd almost felt bad for her when he'd ripped the color from those pretty little eyes, but he knew she wasn't worth the trouble and he couldn't feel bad about it. Not when he had to save the real her. It didn't matter how similar Miku was, she wasn't her, but Len was still troubled by how far he'd let himself go with Miku. No, that wasn't it. He was more than accustomed to using his body to get what he wanted. Rather, it was the amount of emotion he'd almost unconsciously poured into the girl, and now after it was all said and done, it was the reason he was still even bothering to think about her. All that love, the trust and adoration she displayed for him, even in the end, disgusted him. He hated her for being so blind, so naive to what he really was. More than anything he hated her for making him prove her wrong.
Len arrived at his door with no more interruptions, his heart beating and his head light. He wasted no time in bursting through the door. After making sure it was firmly shut behind him, he walked straight through his parlour, pausing before a long curtain that hung on the wall. He pulled it away, and instead of the typical window one would assume lay hidden behind the fabric, there was instead a door. He pulled a key from a pocket inside his suit, an uncommon object in the world of bakus who used custom magical wards to keep others out of their spaces. Of course the key was enchanted so nobody else could use it, just in case he ever did lose it, though as constantly as he made sure it was on his person at all times, he could never imagine anyone else finding it, much less knowing what it was supposed to be for.
Len slid the key into the lock and turned the knob, greeted by the scent of roses in full bloom the moment he opened the door. What would in any other room be a private area for a baku to rest in lay bare of any furnishings aside from a dimly lit chandelier and a large brown coffin, filled to the brim with blooming crimson red roses. Inside lay a girl, wraith-like, aside from her cheeks glowing pale pink. Her green hair framed soft features and billowed around her, a sharp contrast to the bed of blood red roses that grew around and over her from every side. If not for the coffin being used as a makeshift bed, she could have been mistaken for having simply fallen into a peaceful, deep sleep. Unfortunately, this was not the case.
Len reached out to place the newest rose into the girl's coffin, and paused, unable to bring himself to drop it in. His hand was trembling and his stomach turned in anticipation as he looked down at the girl. She seemed even more alive than ever before, her breathing deep and rhythmic, her complexion warm and rosy.
"Gumi," he whispered pleadingly. He cursed the tremor in his voice, how readily tears sprung to his eyes when he so much as spoke her name aloud. As always, his plea was met with silence.
Averting his gaze, Len collected himself as quickly as possible. If he allowed his emotions to get the best of him now, he knew he couldn't handle whatever was about to come. He relaxed for a moment and stopped fighting, allowing his thoughts to finally wander to where they'd been trying go all night- Miku. He wondered how she'd managed to enter Gumi's dreamworld and if it meant she was truly regaining consciousness again. Was she finally waking up, or had Miku simply been special, an odd fluke that would never amount to anything more? He couldn't allow himself to believe that it was only coincidental. They were painfully similar, so much that Len wasn't sure if his heart would shatter on the spot or stop beating the moment he left Miku's side. Could that have had something to do with Gumi's odd appearance?
Regardless of how he felt for Miku now, her interaction with the girl had comforted him greatly, but also opened up new uncertainties he'd never needed to address before. At least one thing was certain; he could finally rest easy knowing that she wasn't in pain and was dreaming quite sweetly thanks to his tireless efforts. Perhaps his sins hadn't been committed in vain.
Still, this new change was concerning. With the girl's emergence of consciousness came a flood of new questions and few hints that would lead to real answers.
Surely Miku's interaction with her couldn't possibly be some sick accident, he couldn't allow himself to believe it. And if she was finally able to communicate in the dreamworld with others, how long would it be until she'd finally come to? More than anything else that question festered within him and endlessly haunted his thoughts. He could handle any other obstacle this task threw at him, but the most important question still persisted, hopeful, yet terrifying; was she to wake soon, or would she continue to be out of his reach, so close yet so painfully, impossibly far?
With his hand stretched out over the coffin, he felt more alone than ever before. Would he finally be able to once again be with the person he loved more than anything else in the world, or would he be filled with even more despair and disappointment with this failure? He wasn't sure if he wanted to know, or if he could handle the truth of what was just a drop of a rose away from the answer.
He clenched the stem tighter in his hand, feeling the thorns test the leather of his glove with a dull ache that all but disappeared as he struggled to force his thoughts into submission. The situation at hand grew distant as he grappled with the sudden wave of remembrance taking hold of his mind.
~x~
Four years earlier
~x~
It was an empty, cloudless night, with not even a sliver of light from the moon to brighten up the darkness, let alone the baku's horrible mood as he wandered the lonely streets. While Len usually enjoyed time to himself in the human world, he'd been feeling restless and uneasy as of late, and the walk was doing nothing to fix his sour mood. Not that it mattered, really. The stroll wasn't entirely for leisure, they never were. He was a baku, after all, and bakus preferred to find themselves walking amongst humans only when they were hunting for a meal. They'd never admit it, though. They preferred to believe they were doing it because of the inherent goodness their kind held within them, that they actually benefitted in other ways when they helped humans get over their petty nightmares. The baku sneered at the thought of his colleagues bothering to help such a weak and pitiful species out of the goodness of their hearts. Once his training had been complete, Len had quickly stopped believing that bakus truly helped humans out of benevolence and nothing more. As far as Len was concerned, humans stopped being anything more than a source of sustenance a long time ago. He was never told how thankless and exhausting his job could be in training, but over time he quickly discovered just how tedious it could be. After proving his abilities as a baku, he was assigned a ward to watch over. Within those borders, he was free to roam in search of troubled humans in need of a good night's rest. And so, on many nights Len would wander the streets, more for personal enjoyment than in search of humans who required his assistance. He wasn't too concerned with seeking them out. He'd know when a suffering human was close by the scent, and after a contract was made he'd be at their service until the nightmares went away.
This never took very long, though. He was good at what he did, which meant most of his contractees didn't know him for more than a few nights. And while most bakus tried to help as many humans as possible in the shortest amount of time, Len preferred quality over quantity, as he saw it. The most common type of human he would work with were those with recurrent nightmares. It gave him a more concentrated meal and eliminated lots of the "paperwork" that came with the job. Not all humans were bad, of course. Once in a blue moon there would be an exception. If he wasn't too hungry and the human was interesting enough, he'd stick around for a short while and scare off the bad dreams a bit more slowly. Inevitably he'd grow bored, take away their nightmares for good, and be on his way. He didn't think he was wrong for wanting a little change of pace now and again. After working for a while, he began to notice patterns. Eventually, humans became more and more similar, until they were all the same. He quickly grew used to sensing their discomfort and soon after being met with fear and distrust when he revealed himself and offered to help them, only to make a contract and be on his way, sometimes without even a 'thank you'. He'd stopped bothering to even look into their nightmares, all caused by stress or other trivial matters. As far as he was concerned, humans were only a food source for higher beings, his contracts an annoying necessity that got in the way of what he desired. Pathetic, frail, and needy creatures, Len pitied them for their helplessness and accepted that working with them was a necessary annoyance, reasoning that everyone has to eat, after all.
Len turned a corner and paused, suddenly still and alert. He begrudgingly adjusted his direction and began following a familiar scent, his curiosity getting the better of him. He reached his destination, admiring the architecture of the elegant white home that reached into the night sky. Stone steps flanked by towering columns lead to a spacious porch and a heavy looking door. Light, airy curtains covering soaring windows prevented the baku from peeking into the pristine home. On the second story a large window on either side of the home, accompanied by a large balcony, jutted out into the open air. Sensing the nightmares were coming from a room on the second floor, Len quickly appeared onto the balcony that led into the accompanying space. Before he entered the bedroom he stopped for a moment. Under the scent of nightmares was the gentle aroma of blooming roses carried on a light breeze. Though there was no moon in the sky, the sound of crickets' calls and wind passing through the trees made the night feel alive and peaceful. The balcony was spacious enough for a few people to stand on it at a time, a perfect place to relax, Len realized, and watch the stars if one so desired. Though he longed for nothing more than to lounge on the rails of the balcony and enjoy the suddenly pleasant night, the scent of nightmares lingered and were too provocative and mouth watering for the baku to pass up. With a flourish of his hand Len cast a sleeping spell over the home, a measure to prevent anyone aside from his potential contractee to wake up, and approached the double doors leading into the bedroom. While the doors were mostly large panes of glass, the same white, airy curtains from downstairs had been tied back, and allowed Len to see clearly into the room.
The space matched the exterior perfectly, everything the same shade of pristine white. He was unsure if the color made the house feel open and clean or lifelessly sterile. From his position he could see a large bed in the back right corner of the room. Whoever was in it was obscured slightly by a canopy draped over each bedpost. A nightstand stood beside it, the window above the table subtly illuminating parts of the room. Along the right wall was a large wardrobe and a full length mirror, both carved with ornate, flourishing patterns. On the left side of the room along the farthest wall was a towering bookcase filled with an array of colorful books and toys. He could make out a chest pressed against the wall and closer to his left was a round table and a few chairs, perfect for having tea.
Tired of standing around, Len pulled away from the window. Snapping his fingers, the doors opened soundlessly before him. His shoes met with a plush, springy carpet as he stepped into the room. He was greeted with quiet, halting sobs the moment he entered the space. Len approached the bed quietly and found the source of the crying. A young girl, no older than seventeen years old. She was deathly pale, her bright green hair dramatically enhanced against the white of her skin, nightdress, and sheets. Already alarmingly thin, curled up tightly in such a large bed made her look even smaller. Len fought back the urge to reach for the trembling girl and console her. Before he could speak, she turned towards him.
He felt his breath catch in his throat as she looked at him, piercing green eyes still wet with tears cemented his gaze to hers.
A moment of dizzying silence passed between them, the quiet broken suddenly by her voice.
"I'm sorry," she whispered hoarsely. Wiping her eyes with a sniff, she straightened and smiled sheepishly at the baku.
Len said nothing, only staring at the strange girl before him as she struggled for words.
"I didn't know anyone was there," she began to explain. "I'm so sorry you had to see me that way-"
"You're not afraid of me?" he ventured suspiciously.
The girl shook her head adamantly, the longer front strands of her hair whipping against her shoulders and face with comical insistence.
He felt strangely puzzled, unusually surprised by the girl's response to his arrival. By this time his potential contractees were already screaming, running out of the room, or throwing things at him. He was more accustomed to that type of behavior, expected it, really. Even he understood that hysterics were an understandable response to a stranger materializing unannounced into their room while they slept.
The girl watched him through her tears, more curious than shocked or afraid. Len took a slow step forward, his body tense as he approached.
"Why aren't you afraid of me?" he hissed.
"Because I can tell you're a good person!" the girl insisted, her eyes widened with the boy's sudden change in demeanor.
"You don't find it unsettling that there's a stranger in your room?" he demanded more adamantly.
The girl tilted her head and furrowed her brow curiously. "Shouldn't my guardian angel always know where I am?"
Len buried his face in his hands, a stupefied chuckle escaping his lips.
"My dear," he began, lifting his face from his hands with another laugh, "you have me utterly bewildered."
"What do you mean?" she ventured hesitantly.
"I can't tell if you're clueless or the most utterly stupid human I've ever met."
"Excuse me?!" she demanded defensively. "What do you mean by that?!"
"I simply mean that someone who believes in guardian angels is horrifically misinformed."
The baku laughed as the girl's face turned bright red, but paused when he noticed her lip beginning to tremble.
"Young lady," Len stuttered falteringly when the girl's eyes began to well with tears, "I believe we've gotten off to a poor start."
The girl sniffled and nodded, but avoided the baku's gaze.
Len huffed in exasperation, but carried on. "You see, I simply found the idea of you mistaking me for an angel to be a bit…" he hesitated for a moment.
"What?" she demanded with a pout.
"... well, absurd." Len tried to stifle a laugh, but regained his composure when her eyes flicked towards him. When she looked away he cleared his throat.
"Why?" she replied shortly, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Well, you see, most people see me as the exact opposite."
The girl finally looked at the boy again, curiosity filling her eyes. "What? Why?!"
He shrugged lightly. "I'm called a baku. We can be referred to as 'demons', but some of us prefer 'dream eaters'."
"I see…" she responded thoughtfully, though Len couldn't imagine that was truly the case.
"So… you're here to eat my dreams?" she ventured excitedly.
"Well… yes…" the baku replied. "Your nightmares, rather. If you make a contract with me, I'll take all those horrible dreams away from you."
"Really?! That's amazing!" she responded excitedly. "And then you eat them?"
"Precisely," the baku responded with a grin.
"Okay, deal!" the girl exclaimed, extending her hand towards the boy.
Len blankly stared at her outstretched pinky finger. When he didn't respond to the girl's insistent hand wiggling she sighed.
"What?" Len asked suspiciously.
"It's a pinky promise," she explained incredulously. "You know, to seal the deal?"
"I've never heard of that," he responded.
"Well what do you normally do?"
"... I simply make the contract."
"That's no fun," the girl responded with a laugh. "Can't we do it this way?"
"I suppose," Len sighed and goodnaturedly extended his own hand.
After the two linked fingers, the girl pulled away with a smile.
"So when will the nightmares go away?" she wondered aloud.
The baku shrugged. "It depends on the person. If the dreams are reoccurring a stronger contract will be in order, but it never takes longer than a full moon."
"That's not long at all!" she replied in awe.
Len shrugged. "We're very good at our jobs."
"I can tell," the girl replied and yawned. "Pardon me."
"I don't mind," he responded. "Though it's best for you to get back to sleep now."
She nodded with a smile and Len looked away, trying to stop the urge to tuck her into bed. Once she was comfortably under her sheets, Len waved his hand over her eyes. Flickers of gold and purple light twinkled over the girl's head. The only predictable part of the night, her eyes began to droop. Len sighed in relief and turned to leave.
"Wait!" she called back to the boy.
He turned, wondering what she possibly had to say now. "Yes, young lady?"
"You keep calling me that, but what can I call you? What's your name?"
He hesitated, unsure if he should tell her. Nobody asked, and he preferred not to say, but the insistently curious look in her eyes made him crumble.
"My name is Len," he finally replied.
"I'm pleased to meet you, Len!" the girl smiled brightly.
He felt his stomach flutter as she said his name. "The pleasure's all mine, young lady."
"You said it again!" she teased with a laugh. "My name's Gumi. I'll see you around!"
"Yes, you will," he responded absently. He turned and opened the balcony doors. Once he was sure they were firmly shut, he looked up at the sky, now many shades brighter as the sun began to make its daily ascent. He closed his eyes, feeling the last cool traces of night caress his face as he breathed in deeply.
"Goodnight, Gumi."