I woke up the next morning with the biggest grin on my face. I could feel Bray's arms around me and his beard against my shoulder. Everything actually felt right in the world and Bray had the most content smile on his face. I closed my eyes again and started back asleep. I felt the air starting to escape my chest and I let out a whine.
"Bray no!" I cried out feeling his hands around my neck again as I struggled to catch my breath.
"Did you think I changed? No… I'll never change" He growled as I tried to struggle and pull away.

"Nicolette! It's okay… I'm here" I heard as my eyes shot open and I looked around. It was the dream that I had for the first nights after he left. It had came back for the first time since the week before he had left.
"Are you okay?" Bray asked looking concerned. He tried to pull me close and I pushed his arms away.
"I… Yeah… I had a nightmare" I said looking around and scooting away from Bray.
"Come on, let's get some sleep" he said as I shook my head. I didn't want to go back to sleep because I knew that dream would come again.
"Okay, do you want to talk?" Bray asked confused as to why I was acting the way I was.
"No, I… I need to go" I said getting out of the bed and grabbing my jeans & shirt from the floor where it had landed the night before.
"Wait, what's wrong. I… I thought…" he started to say as I turned to face him. I didn't want to say what I was about to say because I loved him. I wanted to be with him and be a family but that dream just reminded me how scared I actually was of him.
"Bray last night was a mistake. We… we shouldn't have done what we did" I said as I looked at the floor. I didn't want to see his face
"But… I love you. We love each other and we…" He started to say before I cut him off again.
"I don't love you Bray, I'm afraid of you. We had drunk sex and it meant absolutely nothing to me" I said before rushing out of the room with tears in my eyes. I went into the guest room and laid on the bed trying to keep my crying as quiet as possible but I knew I couldn't stop myself from sobbing. I heard a knock and I tried to block out everything. I didn't move, I just cried until I heard his knock get quiet then eventually stop.
"Please! Please open the door angel. I… I.." I heard Bray start to say as his voice cracked.
"I never meant to scare you. I know I haven't proved myself to you but please give me a chance. I… I know I can make you happy, please angel. You and Maverick are my world, you are all I have. You are the reason I wanted to get better." I heard the desperation in his voice and wanted more than anything to just tell him I loved him but I couldn't help but feel the fear I had of him.
"I.. I love you and even if you don't love me… I will always love you" he said quietly as I heard him start to walk away. I felt my hands shaking not knowing what to do or why I lied to him. I knew that we wouldn't go back to how we were and things were now going to change for sure.

The next few days were hard for both of us. I knew Bray was depressed and so was I. Bray and I said maybe a handful of words to each other, a most of them being about Maverick. He may have hated me but he was still an amazing father to our son and for that I was thankful. Maverick loved Bray and watching his eyes light up when he saw his dad made me certain that I could never harm their relationship. That's what made it hard right now, Bray had left a couple days ago to go to Raw and I was left with a fussy baby who was looking for their dad.
"I know Maverick, Daddy will be home soon I promise" I said rocking the baby in my arms as I breastfed him. I watched the rain fall down and instantly I started to miss Bray. I was scared and I knew I had made a mistake but I didn't know how I should tell him. Right now, all I knew was that I just needed to hear his voice.
"Should we call Daddy?" I asked as Maverick smiled and kicked his feet. I finished feeding him quickly before grabbing my phone from the nightstand and calling Bray on FaceTime. He didn't answer and instantly I felt my heart break a little.
"Don't worry Mav… Daddy is probably driving" I said as I started rocking the baby in my arms again. It didn't take him too long to fall asleep leaving me wide awake while it rained outside. I couldn't stop thinking about Bray and how I wanted to say to him. I wanted more than anything to pour my heart out to him and tell him that I didn't mean anything I said. I laid Maverick in the crib carefully before walking into what was once mine and Bray's bedroom. I sat on the bed and instantly laid down holding on to his pillow. It didn't take me long to fall asleep. I felt hands slide under me and I shook awake before looking up to see Bray picking me up.

"I'm sorry, I just thought…" Bray started to say as I just looked into his eyes.
"Bray, I fucked up… I fucked up really bad" I said with tears in my eyes his eyes softened.
"What happened?" he whispered as I tried to take a few breaths to calm down but it didn't help.
"I lied to you. I lied and fucked everything up" I cried out as Bray let out a loud sigh.
"You didn't fuck everything up" he said as I shook my head quickly.
"I did… I fucked it all up and you… you" I started to say as Bray sat me down on the bed and touched my cheek gently.
"Why did you lie?" he asked as I wiped my eyes and took a deep breath to calm myself.
"I lied because I was scared. I love you Bray, I love you so much but I'm scared She…. She… that...it..I'm so sorry" I started to stammer as Bray shook his head. He was silent for a minute as I could tell he was trying to figure out his next move.
"Why didn't you just tell me you were scared?" He asked as I looked him in the eyes and instantly teared up more.
"I didn't want to admit it to myself. I thought I was pushing through and that I was over… what happened" I whispered as he
"So you thought it was better to say you didn't love me? That us making love was a mistake?" He asked as I felt my hands start to shake.
"Bray...I…" I started to say but not even knowing where to begin to start.
"You what? Say what you are thinking? Don't spare my feelings because you want to look…. More righteous. You didn't do that before. " he said as I looked down embarrassed of what I had done to him.
"I don't know why I did what I did okay? I made a mistake, I lied. I'm owning up to me lying to you. I never wanted to hurt you but I was panicking. I had a flashback to being almost murdered and I didn't know what the hell to do" I said as Bray's eyes softened.
"Do you think that there will be a time when that doesn't happen? When you aren't afraid?"
"I.. I don't know Bray" I said quietly as he just nodded walking back to his things.
"I'm going to Braun's" he said grabbing his bags that he had just walked in with.
"Bray! Wait!" I called out as he looked back at me.
"Nicolette, why are we trying to make this work? You can't constantly be in fear of me now. We have a son and as much as I love you, I won't let myself be the reason you are constantly thinking I'll hurt you. You told me you didn't love me and you made a mistake by having sex with me. We are just hurting each other more we try to make this work." he said as I watched him walk out the door. I waited for a second thinking about everything before rushing out after him as quick as I could. I didn't want us to be over, more than anything I needed him in my life. Even taking Maverick out of the equation, I loved Bray and I wasn't about to lose him over something that I wanted to work on.
"Bray!" I called out trying to catch up to him. I didn't know if he would stop or if I was going to have to get him to come home. We were halfway across the yard when he turned around and our eyes met.
"I don't want you to leave…. I...I love you Bray and I want to work on everything. I think we haven't given this a fair shot again" I said as he smiled.
"You have to trust me Angel, you can't…." he started to say as I shook my head.
"I won't hold it over your head. I promise you I won't. I just… I need you" I said as Bray smirked and wrapped his arms around me.
"We start as fresh as we can and from this moment, the past is the past. We will work through this" he said as I nodded against his chest.