Chapter Twelve- Brotherly Love

*Cory's POV*

I had been up all night contemplating everything. Why, how and where? I couldn't understand it no matter how hard I tried. Maybe it was part of my brain purposely shutting off that function, I didn't know, but I did know I couldn't focus on anything except that subject and it was driving me bonkers. I sat on my bed and stared out my window, thoughts flooding relentlessly. Shawn might has well have been my brother. There was no way around that. And to know he was to a point where he felt like even I couldn't help him was a hard fact to deal with.

I'll admit, I've never exactly handled stressful situations the right way but my intentions are always good and my heart was always in the right place. Which is why I think me and Shawn's friendship had lasted as long as it did. I wasn't sure how to be Cory without my other half. And don't get me wrong when I say that, I loved Topanga more then anything in the world; which I know is cliche at such a young age but I knew what I felt was real and no one was about to change that, and she was a very large part of me, but in a different kind of way.

Eric came into the room, threw his books onto his bed and then headed into the washroom, humming an unrecognizable tune. If I knew what a whore house smelt like, I was sure Eric came close to it. Our bedroom often reeked of multiple colones and tooth paste and mouthwash. So much that I didn't even notice it half the time. Sad, right? From the time I could walk until that moment, Eric had always loved the ladies and had always been obsessed with smelling "good". I mean, I guess it was better then him being poor in his hygiene and smelling like dirty old gym socks but the constant head ache due to the overload of toxic smells was a bit much some days, regardless of being used to it. Within minutes, he came out and was on his way to do Lord only knows what. He said nothing to me, like often and disappeared out the door. Typical Eric. I had always wondered how he, how anyone really, could be so carefree and not have a worry in the world. I was only 15 but it seemed like I had the whole world on my shoulders. And nothing seemed to go right.

Letting out a sigh, I stood up and made my way downstairs. My mom was standing behind the counter in the kitchen and was cutting up some carrots while my little sister, Morgan, sat at the kitchen table colouring what appeared to be a rabbit.

"Since when are rabbits purple?" I asked her.

"Since when did boys get a brain?" She replied with an upright attitude.

I let out a chuckle. Mom seemed pretty amused as well but did her best to hide it. I grabbed the phone off of the wall and began to dial Topanga's number but not before Morgan coloured in the last bit that she was satisfied with and slipped into the living room to play with whatever. It rang a few times before she answered.

"Hello?" Her voice was so sweet and pure. I could have listened to her just say hello for hours. Yeah, yeah I know, enough with the sap. I couldn't help it though. Once you're hooked, you're sunk.

"Hey Topanga, it's Cory. Listen, uh, I was just wondering if you wanted to go to Chubbie's and get a late burger or something?" I sounded more hopeful then I intended.

There was a pause for a second and I could practically hear her perfect smile. "I'm sorry, Cory. Normally I'd love to but I'm swamped with all this math homework. I'm already so behind as it is." She said.

I gave a small nod. "It's okay. I understand. I'll see you at school tomorrow." And at that, I hung up, slipped on my runners, grabbed my jacket and headed for the door.

"Something wrong, Cory?" My mom's voice came.

I took a silent deep breath and shot her a fake smile. "Everything is fine." I lied. "I'll be back in a bit."

It took me half the time it normally did to get to Chubbie's and when I reached it, it was like what it always was, over crowded and fuming of grease. I enjoyed it though. Not like you do when the lawn is freshly cut or it has just rained, or even when you're sitting in your parents car and it's newly filled with gasoline, it wasn't quite like that. It was a familiar smell, there for a comforting smell, so that was why I liked it. On a normal day, or night rather, I would have gone up to the counter and order my usual but right then, I wasn't exactly up to a 'normal' night. To be truthful, I wasn't even sure why I was there. Maybe it was in hopes that Shawn might have been lurking around, or that someone we mutually knew saw him somewhere, anywhere, close by. Or maybe it was because it was the only other place I actually enjoyed being besides next to Topanga. I didn't really know.

I took an unoccupied seat near the back and looked around miserably. That place had so many memories built inside of it, way more good then bad and to think not even any of them could bring some sort of light into my gloomy mind disturbed me a bit. I let out a sigh and got up to do the last thing on Earth I ever thought possible... I was going to ask Eric for advice.

When I first entered, his loud laugh was one of the first thing my ears registered. And he was exactly where I figured the sound was coming from; at the pool table surrounded by a bunch of hopeless looking girls, Jason not far away. Though he looked less cheerful then normal, which was strange for him. Jason was usually happy to be the side kick that girls tended to settle with when Eric was too busy for their attention. But right then, sitting practically slumped in a wooden chair, it didn't appear to be that way at all. I stood in the door frame and waited for a minute or so. Being alive for 15 years was a miracle in itself, pissing off Eric when he was in his "groove" and trying to impress a bunch of hot high school chicks was not something I wanted to do to risk or compromise that.

A leggy brunette had her arm draped around his waist and he skillfully pulled his cue back and shot in two striped balls. With a smirk on his face, he soaked in the claps and coos from all around. Show off. To this day, I still wonder how people who share practically the same DNA, could be so different in every way possible. It was then or it was never. I moved forward and tapped him lightly on the arm. He turned and raised an eyebrow at me. "Do I know you?" he asked through nearly gritted teeth. Right, I forgot about the deal we made. He didn't have a little brother around girls he was trying to impress.

"Uh, no, you don't. But I've heard that you're super popular and know a lot of things and I could really use some advice." I said, nearly gagging on the compliment I choked out.

"I'm kind of busy right now," his eyes darted to his pretty companion. "Maybe another time."

"No Eric, I need you now."

Eric let out a sigh and then flashed his charming set of pearly whites at her and then at the rest of them. "Be back in a second." He then tilted her chin up tenderly gave her a sweet kiss on the cheek and walked off with me out of their sight. You'd swear by the way he acted, he was a leader in a high end mob. Might has well of been in my opinion.

"This better be good, Cor. That chick is really into me and I'm really into what could be under her shirt."

I rolled my eyes. "You really are a pig, Eric."

"Naturally." he said proudly. "Now what is it?" He was getting more irritated by the second.

"I'm worried about Shawn. I found out he had been staying at Sarah's and when I confronted him about it, he took off and now I have no idea where he is. I'm scared, okay? What do I do?" And for once, I really was. It wasn't the kind of scared everyone feels while watching a scary movie or being startled by someone who enjoyed the thrill of seeing you almost wet yourself; it was the kind of scared I never wanted to feel again. My stomach was in knots and it had become impossible to even think about anything else. Topanga could have walked in completely naked, wanting me and I probably wouldn't have even noticed. Well...maybe that example is a bad one to use for obvious reasons but I think it gets the point across in general. Shawn was a tough kid and could get through pretty well anything. If I had learned anything about him, it was that fact. The streets of Philadelphia at night were a completely different story however.

Eric's attitude completely changed over and his voice became softer. "Look, I can't tell you what to do because I'm not in your shoes. Not that they would fit me anyways, you have always been smaller then me," he rambled. "Anyways, the only thing I can really tell you is trust him, Cor. Shawn's a smart kid. He'll figure this out. He always does. And if you're really worried, just put yourself in his position for a minute or two. Where would you go? What would you do?"

Jason rounded the corner. "Eric, it's your turn. Melissa is eagerly waiting for you." He said with a sarcastic tone.

"Okay. Be there in a sec."

Jason gave us a nod and then disappeared once more. I was actually shocked that he gave me good advice that made me feel a bit better. I had to give it to him; he was dumber then a bag of rocks most days with an appetite of everything female, but when I actually needed him, he was a good brother and most often didn't let me down.

"Good luck little bro." Eric began to walk away, hands jammed in his pockets before I stopped him.

"Hey, Eric?"

He turned back around. "Yeah?"

"Thank you."

Eric did a half smile and then nodded his head at me. "No problem." He was soon was out of sight and I was left to be on my own again. I thought for a bit. Shawn didn't exactly have a lot of 'happy' places. Or places he felt safe or bound to for that matter. So where could he have possibly gone that I hadn't searched?

That's when it hit me. It was a long shot. But it was worth a try. I ran until I was gasping for air but didn't stop until I reached my destination. Which was my backyard. I could see my mom in the kitchen through the window. My dad had just gotten off of work it appeared and was at the table, drinking a cup of his regular coffee and she was against the counter, hands flailing, clearly trying to make a point about something. I quickly ignored it and then bolted up the pieces of wood that were made to be steps to my tree house. I hadn't been in it for seemingly forever so the height was a bit scary at first. Not going to lie. I made it to the entrance with speed though, fear driven or not, at least I was there and not I the ground with a broken neck. I got inside and sure enough, Shawn was there, curled up in the corner.

"How did you find me?"

I gave him a warm smile and moved beside him, taking off my jacket and handing it to him. "Do you remember when we we're six? I was jumping around pretending to slay dragons and ended up almost falling out. You grabbed me before I did and that's when we made a pact to be friends forever. I figured it was a long shot but here you are." I explained.

Shawn chuckled lightly and took my jacket without any objection. "Yeah, it's about the only place I feel safe now."

"You are safe, Shawn." I corrected.

"I don't want to be trailer trash anymore, Cor. I want parents who care. I don't want to eat off a damn car grill anymore. I want to be someone.. like you."

I gave him another smile. "You know what you are?"

"What's that?"

"You're my best friend. That's what you are, Shawn Hunter. And I know it may seem like they don't care and frankly I can see why, but I know deep down they do. Everyone likes you just the way you are. You are no different then anyone, despite everything you may think. Please believe that at least."

"Do you really think I should go back?" His eyes were filled with hurt and confusion but had a hint of relief as realty to them as well.

"I think you know what you should do but I'm willing to help you no matter what your choice is." I told him. And I meant it. Our relationship had always been like that. I'd hide the dead body he had trouble disposing of without question. And I knew he would have done the same for me in the blink of an eye.

"I think," he said slowly. "I think I'm going to go home now." He stood up and I anxiously followed. All of the worry and stomach knots went away in an instant and I felt like I could breathe again. Not because he finally listened to me, but because I knew where he was going to be and although he had his very real problems, I knew he was going to be safe. Shawn gave me a small smile. "I'll see you at school tomorrow?"

"I'll be there. I'll always be here."

"I know, Cor."

And that was that. Shawn left the tree house and I sat at the entrance of it, my feet dangling, watching as he walked away into the distance with a proud grin on my face. Mr. Feeny was in his garden watering the many colourful flowers that sprouted up and nearly over the fence, as usual. I saw him more during the night then I did at school and that was a very sad, or scary fact. I hadn't decided which one yet.

"Good night Mr. Matthews?"he called up to me after taking a quick glance my way.

"Yeah, Mr. Feeny. It was. Best one in 15 years."

And it really was.