…. Chapter 48 …..
Out of breath and completely disorientated, Beth slowed her momentum until she ground to a disparaging halt. She had been running for what felt like forever... through trees, bushes and all manner of rain soaked storm debris. It had her ankle throbbing something fierce, to the point where it felt as though it was about to give out on her. Panting heavily, she slumped against a fallen log, wincing in pain as she gingerly pressed upon it despite her better judgement.
Shoving her damp hair from her face, she glanced up only to see the same intricate rock formation that she had already encountered twice before. Her shoulders slumped in dismay for looking at it. The damn thing all but confirmed what she was already beginning to suspect. She was doing nothing but run around in useless circles.
Panic descended almost immediately, shrouding all other thoughts in its way. How was that even possible? She'd been so sure she had picked the right path this time!
Forcing herself to draw a calming breath, she took time that she didn't necessarily have to give in order to weigh the few options available to her. The forest itself was immense and sprawling, so much so that everything within it had begun looking the same. Noted landmarks had started to repeat themselves, making her question if they were indeed the same thing she had seen before or something entirely new. With so much riding on the line, it went without saying that she found it all disheartenly frustrating.
She had left the ramshackle campsite feeling so sure that she could find her way back. After all, how difficult could it be? She had left a trail of clues for Daryl to follow... how hard was it to just follow it herself? It didn't take long before the overwhelming scope of the endeavor had quickly dissuaded her of that foolish notion. Between the pouring rain and the sheer magnitude of trees, she was lost long before she had even stepped foot out of the clearing.
The rain eventually abated to leave behind a thin layer of foggy precipitation that wasn't helping matters any. The hazy mist blanketed the forest floor, distorting the terrain while giving it a surreally ghost like appearance. It obscured the few tracks she was able to find while making everything else she was doing that much more difficult. Refusing to let it deter her, Beth pulled herself together and pressed on, disappearing back into the woods again in what she could only hope was the right direction this time.
Finding herself in the same confounded predicament an hour or so later, she was about to slump down in the mud and cry when somewhere in the distance, she heard a succession of gun shots render sharply into the air. The sound they made reverberated throughout the forest, echoing between the trees to ring noisily in her ears. Her nerves instantly jumped on point as her stomach bottomed out. Who was that shooting and more importantly, at what?
Needing an answer, she decided to head towards the area where the shots were fired rather than away from it. What other choice did she have? Despite the obvious danger she knew they represented, she was desperate enough at this point to take that chance. She had started to believe that she had been left out there alone to die... at least now she knew that someone else was out there with her. Besides, maybe Daryl had heard them too and was thinking the same thing...
Spurred on by the prospect, Beth rushed blindly into the nearby foliage only to be grabbed from behind as soon as she emerged from the other side. A large hand immediately clapped over her mouth, effectively silencing any sound she could've possibly made. Immediately regretting having lowered her guard, she flailed against the unknown assailant for all she was worth, clawing at anything she could dig her nails into. Her inattentiveness had allowed someone to creep up on her unexpectedly and she was now about to pay the price...
Fighting like a wildcat, she made her mark… tearing into the fleshy part of an arm until she was released with a vindictive shove.
A sharp expletive was spat out from behind her, its distinctive drawl telling her that it was neither Daryl or Len she was about to turn around and face. Bracing herself accordingly, Beth spun around to face her attacker anyway, her shoulders locked and set in a combative position.
''Damn girl! Why'd you go an' do that for?'' Billy spat derisively, cradling his bleeding arm as if doing so could erase the sting her nails had left behind.
He seemed genuinely put out, like it was her fault that he chose to assault her. The belligerent look on his face sent Beth on the immediate offensive, sick to death of being manhandled by these people and ready to tell someone so. ''What?! You attacked me!''
Frowning, Billy took a moment to process the accusation, seemingly confused by both it and the meaning behind its connotations. Beth watched him cautiously as he did so, making sure to stay well out of arms reach. The minimal interactions they'd had at the house had never let her get a good look at him before and doing so now, she could see why he had been so forgettable. He was young… probably about the same age as her… with sandy brown hair and painfully nondescript features. The combination made him as colorless and unreadable as he was plain and ordinary. It was no surprise that he had all but faded into the background to become practically invisible amongst the more dominant personalities around him.
''Attacked?'' He repeated stupidly, wiping the blood on his arm away on the leg of his pants, ''Whaddya mean 'attacked'?! If anything I was just trying to keep you quiet! A handful of biters came through this way not but a few minutes ago, last thing I need is you drawing 'em back by screamin' your head off like a dumb girl!''
Even though he was a teenager much like herself, he still towered over her by a good ten inches. It gave him a daunting advantage that she chose not to focus on. Instead, the disgustingly crude comments he had made to her the night before came searing back to the forefront of her memory, reminding her yet again that despite how young he was, he was still undoubtedly a threat.
She had woken up at some point during the night to find him lurking in her bedroom, a tray full of food in one hand and the pilfered key in the other. What had started out as somewhat friendly banter had quickly digressed into something else… something that had her skin crawling like she had been physically assailed. Luckily for her, Merle had appeared from out of nowhere to grab the kid by the back of his neck, forcibly removing him from her presence to send him packing back downstairs.
When the elder Dixon had lingered in her doorway, she had stubbornly crossed her arms and turned away, refusing to thank him for his timely intervention. He had given her a look to indicate that he hadn't really expected her to and then had left the room himself, relocking the door firmly behind him.
Finding Billy's implied innuendos as repulsive now as she did then, Beth said with a much bravado as she could muster, ''I couldn't care less about whatever it is you think you need! Get the hell out of my way!''
''Look... the two of us? We don't need to be hostile to each other,'' He implied creepily, gesturing between them like it was a given, ''All I wanted was just a chance to get to know you. Maybe I went about it the wrong way before and I'm real sorry 'bout that. I mean... look at us… we're about the same age, right? What's wrong with the two of us gettin' a lil' better acquainted?''
She stared at him in disbelief. Was he for real? ''I can think of a million things wrong with it.''
He smirked at the testily spoken response, using the time she had taken to give it to start slowly circling around her. ''You know… I can't remember the last time I saw someone 'round here my age. Shit, I was starting to believe that I was the youngest person left walking the face of the planet… that was at least until you showed up.''
Refusing to allow him access to her back again, Beth turned on her heel to follow the path he was taking, the wet leaves under her boots digging into the terrain as she shifted around.
''What are you talking about? All the girls in the pool are our age.'' She accused.
Billy shrugged for knowing it, caught in a lie of his own making. ''What can I say… you got me there. Difference between you and them though is that they all came here used goods, only to get run through even further by everyone else in the house. Being the lowest man on the totem pole... well, I was always last in line. Hell, you don't wanna know what kind of state those girls were in by the time they got to me. By then they were practically beggin' to jump in that damn pool…''
As he spoke, he either didn't know or didn't care that this girl in particular was watching him warily, doing so now in state of pure unmitigated disgust.
''...but you? Well, you're different. It's like you're... I dunno... fresh meat.'' His cold gaze came back over to collide with hers. ''Ain't no one had a chance to get a crack at you yet. If Joe hadn't promised me that I'd get just as much of a chance as anyone else, shit… the two of us wouldn't even be talking right now. I reckon it was just meant to be that we would find each other first.''
Beth was barely listening to him at this point, using the time he was taking instead to try and desperately think of some kind of deterrent that wouldn't lead to her getting killed or worse. Unable to do so past her fear, she was left standing there with her stomach full of rocks and a tangible lump of dread lodged in her throat.
An annoyingly smug look came over his face, one that caused her resolve to harden instantly. Her eyes narrowed pointedly for it. No matter how things played out, there was no way in hell that she was going down without a fight… not now… not ever again! She was done with being the pawn in this game, so sick of it she could scream! Daryl could be out there shot somewhere, laying injured or dead with no one to know. This guy and the hinderance he created was just preventing her from finding him and she was ready to be finished with both it and him right now!
''So what are you gonna do, huh? Shoot me?'' She sneered, ''If that's your plan, you best just do it now and be done with it... because I swear to god, you try and touch me again, it'll be the last damn thing you touch.''
''Whoa, whoa, whoa... slow your roll there sweetheart… relax. It ain't gonna come to that,'' He placatingly held up one hand while easing his gun from its holster with the other, holding it up by its handle unthreateningly, ''I already said that I just want a chance to get to know you… and here... I'll prove it.''
For reasons beyond comprehension, he casually tossed the gun away, doing so as though it wasn't necessary in order for him to achieve his objective. Confused by the tactic, Beth watched in a trance as it flew through the air, her gaze following the weapons trajectory until it landed with a lead plated thud in the foggy precipitation at their feet. It immediately disappeared within the haze, removing itself from the harrowing equation and everything that came with it.
She blinked to bring herself back to the moment, forcing her gaze to meet his. Her heartbeat was racing in her ears so loudly that it all but drowned out the ambient noises coming from the forest around them. Feeling much like a rabbit caught in a bear trap, she briefly wondered what he could possibly gain from doing such a stupid thing. It didn't take long for her to decide that she didn't want to know.
Breathing heavily, Billy just stood there and watched as the connotations of that decision flickered across her face. His features were shadowed as he bided his time, patiently waiting for her to take the opportunity he had just provided to run.
Not one to disappoint, Beth spun around and took off, knowing deep down inside that the desperate measure was going to fail miserably. He was on her almost immediately, seeming to have wanted the chase. The sheer weight of his body knocked her roughly down to the ground. Now shoved in the dirt, she tried to finagle her way out from under him, her legs kicking at him frantically as she cried out in pure indignation. Billy wrestled her onto her back, straddling her resistive body with a grunt to pin her hands above her head…
Using his size and strength against her in the worst possible way, he buried his face into the dampness at her neck, inhaling at her deeply to say, ''Damn, you smell so good…''
Beth fought against him with every fiber of her being, wanting nothing more than for him to get the hell off of her. Flashbacks from the store incident began inundating her mind almost immediately, blooming within her subconscious to bring with them a level of panic she didn't necessarily need right now. With the memory trying its best to overwhelm her she stood her ground, refusing to succumb to it or to any damn thing that would force her back into that scared hopeless mentality she had before.
Using that resolved determination, she brought a knee up to sharply kick him where it counted, Daryl's training and the anger held dormant inside of her urging her on. Billy wheezed in pain when she made direct contact, falling heavily off to her side to cup himself in the fetal position.
Relieved of his weight, Beth scrambled to reach into her boot, pulling out the bolt she had kept there this whole time like it meant the difference between life and death. She had been holding onto the thing since the auto parts store with the full intention of giving it back to Daryl but between then and the kidnapping she had never gotten the chance. Now, as her fingers tightened around its thin shaft, she was never more grateful that she had kept it with her for safe keeping.
Billy groaned from next to her, the guttural sound of it intensifying until it became an angry roar. The throbbing agony in his groin subsided enough for him to surge back onto her, the veins under his skin ticking into infuriated overdrive as he wrapped his hands around her neck. He began to choke her like the bastard he was, staring down at her in a blind rage while she pushed in desperation at his chest...
''Goddamn bitch!'' He seethed, tightening his grip, ''You've got some fuckin' nerve! You think you're so fuckin' special but you're just like the rest, nothin' but a goddamn cock tease! Here I was trying to be nice to you but I guess that ain't what you wanted! I hope you're ready for what you're gonna get instead!''
Feeling herself falter from where she was beneath him, Beth scraped together what was left of her fortitude and her courage to gasp out, ''Are you?''
She brought the sharp end of the bolt up to stab him in the neck with it, gouging it in as deep as she could until his blood gushed down her arm. For a heart stopping moment, nothing changed… his hands remained like an iron locked vice around her throat. He glared down at her resentfully, the two of them now locked in a battle of wills. It was just a matter of time to see who would succumb first.
Still pinned under him, Beth fought to stay above the darkened cloud of unconsciousness that was beginning to obscure her vision. Deprived of oxygen for what now seemed like an eternity, she could feel herself begin to drift…
Don't ya even think about it...
Daryl's voice cut through the enveloping darkness to reach her, just as it always did when her life was disparagingly on the line. She found herself resisting its pull, the guilt that came with possibly failing almost too much for her to bear.
C'mon now goddamn it, keep fightin'… see it through…
She squeezed her eyes shut, feeling as though he was asking the impossible. What was there left to see through? She was losing and that was it, end of story.
Nah, you're wrong an' ya know it. You're strong an' ya know what needs ta be done. Remember, everyone's allowed ta get scared… we all do now an' then. It's how ya handle it after tha fact that counts…
With that he was gone and Beth could've cried for not having the comfort of his presence in her thoughts anymore.
She was scared, that much was true… but she also knew that she couldn't give in to that fear, not when she had fought so damn hard to make it this far. If Daryl was still alive out there, he'd be fighting to find her for all he was worth. Was she going to just lay there and let him do so without giving anywhere close to the same?
From the vindictive haze that had consumed him, Billy watched as her eyes opened decisively. His blood gurgled noisily in his throat as he gritted his teeth in frustration, applying more pressure in his last ditch effort to see the matter done. Yanking the bolt free, Beth brought it up to shove it forcibly under his chin, piercing the roof of his mouth to send it straight into his brain. Her gaze remained unyieldingly and cold as his own had snuffed out, the lock of his grip easing immediately as he released her.
With his body now a dead weight, Beth crawled out from under him, swallowing hard as she coughed desperately for the air that she needed.
Collapsing in a heap nearby, the tears came almost immediately and curling up on her side, she let them... not much caring about anyone or anything else for the brief moment while she took it. She had never killed a person before... not anyone who had been alive and breathing… and was now left reeling in the severity of its wake. She had consciously taken a life of another human being and in doing so, had passed a detrimental turning point of which there was no going back. Born and raised a Christian, she found it a heavy burden to bear. Would her parents ever forgive her? Until she met them again she may never know…
Pulling herself together enough to let her head lilt over, her teary gaze fell on the young man laying there dead amongst the leaves. The puddle he was in did its best to wash away the blood that was pooling steadily under his head, cleansing his face free of it to leave him looking even more youthful than he had before. In another lifetime the two of them may have been friends. They might have seen each other at a high school football game or had known other teenagers in the same social circles. There was no way to know what paths their lives might have taken before the turn. She only knew that the ones they had taken after had lead them to this.
With the feel of his hands still ghosting eerily at her neck, Beth wiped away the tears. It could've easily been her that was laying there dead instead of him… very easily. The fight between them could've gone either way. She had fought tooth and nail for her life and through no fault of her own, had been forced to do what was necessary to ensure her own survival. The guilt of it may never leave her but she could find a way to live with it. Accepting it as such, she let go of her remorse, having been given little choice in the matter and not wanting to dwell on it.
A walker groan noisily in the distance, the discordant sound it made bringing her back to her predicament. She vaguely remembered Billy telling her that there were more somewhere in the area, that a horde had just come through. Not wanting to be caught unawares by them, she pushed herself to her feet, sweeping the dead leaves from her jeans before looking down at the dead body once more.
In a fight to the death she had done what she needed to do… she had survived… she had seen it through.
Now all she had to do was find Daryl to make sure that he did the same.
…..
Well, our girl came through at least one of the challenges she'll face in this endeavor, managing to pull from her own inner strength and survive what probably seemed for a moment there to be an almost near unsurvivable situation. Beth has really grown into her own over the course of this story and I hope I've been able to show that. She still gets scared and will sometimes doubt herself but she is showing herself to be a true match for Daryl in every way. I really enjoy writing her journey for you and would love to hear your thoughts.
Thank you for readings as always!