Chapter Two

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

August 8th, 2004

Olivia sat down at her desk and rested her head on the stack of folders in front of her. It was only eight in the morning and she was already exhausted. They had been called in at three a.m. to a crime scene on the Upper East Side; a 19 year old girl had been assaulted and left for dead in her penthouse apartment earlier that night. Her boyfriend had found her and by the time SVU arrived he was in hysterics. Olivia had been dealt the task of calming him down and taking his statement, nothing she hadn't done before, except when she asked him if Emily, the victim, had any other men in her life he became irate. When it got to the point when she didn't think she could keep him pinned against the wall any longer, she'd reluctantly called Elliot over.

For the past two months their partnership had been extremely strained and their friendship was nonexistent. The shift in their dynamic had thrown the squad for a loop, but after Munch nearly got his head bit off when he asked Elliot what was going on, no one asked anymore questions. She glanced at the man sitting across from her and for the millionth time wished she hadn't stayed that night. If she had just gone home then they would still be best friends, she wouldn't be so completely hurt by his actions that night, and he would still be oblivious to her love for him.

But then there were times when she wished for the opposite. She wished that she had stayed and let him explain, she wished that when she went home ten messages from him were waiting on her answering machine. Most of all she wished that when they went back to work that Monday instead of completely ignoring her attempts to talk to him, he would have told her that she wasn't just his rebound, that she really meant as much to him as he did to her. None of those things happened though and she took his unwillingness to talk as a sign that her initial accusations were correct; she was nothing but a way to get over his wife.

However, every so often, when they would be in the middle of one of their frequent arguments, she would doubt her instincts for a fraction of a second. For instance, once when she had said something especially hateful, he had looked at her with this horribly hurt expression and his eyes, God his eyes, they looked straight into her soul and she could swear he was trying to tell her she was wrong. But he never said anything out loud and if he wasn't willing to try than she wouldn't either.

"Olivia, Elliot, need to see you." She looked up just as Cragen turned and walked back into his office.

Sighing inwardly she got up and followed her partner, shutting the door behind them before Cragen had to ask.

"I was just informed that our victim's boyfriend is the Chief of D's nephew so we are going to have to keep a low profile and close this as quickly and efficiently as possible." He said moving a few papers around on his desk before looking back up at them. "I called you in here because for that to happen you two need to be at your best."

"Cap we're-"

"No you're not Elliot." He interrupted. "You two haven't been anywhere near your best in weeks. I'm not going to ask what happened, but whatever it is you two need to move past it. I don't want to have to split you up."

Her eyes widened and her stomach was in knots, "You wouldn't..."

"Oh yes I would." He paused, looking them both over, "If you care so much about staying together then you'll make an effort to talk through whatever the hell you two can't seem to get over."

Olivia looked over at Elliot and their eyes locked. She held his gaze for what seemed like an eternity, it had been so long since she had really looked at him. He seemed just as torn up as she did which made her feel slightly better, but she wouldn't forgive him until they really talked. It wasn't a conversation she was looking forward to, but even after everything she still wasn't willing to let Cragen split them up.

Elliot looked away first and nodded at their boss, "Alright, we got it Captain, we'll figure it out."

"Good." The older man breathed a sigh of relief. "There's a witness waiting in Interrogation 2, said he saw Emily and a man walk in the building last night, see if you can get a description out of him."

They both nodded and headed down the hall. Olivia glanced at their witness through the observation window; he was dirty and had on several tattered articles of mismatched clothing. Elliot walked in the room first and she followed, only to be hit full force with the most awful stench she'd ever smelled. She had interviewed homeless witnesses before, but none of them had been this bad, the man could not have bathed in years. Her stomach churned and she fleetingly hoped her cereal wouldn't be making a second appearance.

She stayed as far away as she could, leaning against the mirror as Elliot started the interview. She tried breathing through her mouth, but it only seemed to worsen the sick feeling in her stomach as she could now taste the odor that radiated off the man. Her partner didn't seem fazed by it; he'd taken a seat right in front of the man and was jotting down notes every few seconds.

"Yeah, the guy was real tall, had a nice coat on, never left the lady's side. 'Cept to open the door for her." He chuckled, "I never would 'a opened the door for such a snotty woman."

"Can you tell me anything else about the man? Height, eye color?" Elliot prompted.

"Well he...um is she alright?"

Olivia now had her hand over her mouth and was taking deep breaths. Elliot turned around and shot her a worried look.

"Are you-?" She shook her head before he could finish.

He got up from his chair and walked over to her, bringing a whiff of that God awful smell with him. Her stomach lurched and she left the room, walking hastily to the bathroom. She made it to a toilet mere seconds before her breakfast came back up. She hated throwing up; the hot all over feeling and consequent chills were the worst part.

"Olivia?" There was a knock on the stall door that she hadn't even bothered to lock.

"El I-" her stomach lurched again and she turned back to the toilet, heaving the remaining contents of her stomach into it.

When she was done she felt his hand on her back, stroking her soothingly. "Here this should help."

He handed her a damp paper towel and she held it against her forehead, relishing in the cool feeling that flooded her body. "Thanks."

He leaned over her and flushed the toilet. "You're welcome. Be back in a second."

She leaned her head against the stall and closed her eyes, breathing in through her nose and out through her mouth. She slowly started to feel normal again and when Elliot came back a few moments later with a small cup of water she was grateful. She rinsed out her mouth and spit into the toilet before taking a few small sips of the cool liquid.

"Captain told me to tell you that you're home for the rest of the day." She started to protest but he cut her off. "He also said that arguing wouldn't do you any good."

She sighed running a hand through her hair, "Fine."

"You wanna ride home?" He asked as he helped her up.

"No, thanks. I'll just take a cab." She replied as he followed her out of the bathroom to the elevators.

"Alright, well you'll call me if you need anything?" He asked as the doors dinged before opening.

They moved to let a few people out then she stepped inside, holding the one of the doors so it wouldn't shut. "Yeah."

"Bye Li-Olivia." Things are so messed up he can't even call me Liv, she thought as he started to walk away.

"El, wait." He stopped and turned back around. "Cragen was right, we need to talk. If I'm feeling better and he lets you off at a decent time, would you- I mean, can you come over?"

He smiled, it didn't go all the way to his eyes, but it was the first time he'd smiled at her in weeks. "Yeah, I'll call before I leave."

"Okay. Bye." She smiled back and stepped into the elevator, he didn't leave until the doors closed, and for some reason it kept the smile on her face until she exited the elevator downstairs.

Later that afternoon found Olivia dozing on the cold tile of her bathroom floor. After she arrived home a few hours ago, her stomach had seemed to be settled and it was like she had never thrown up at all. She made herself a small lunch of cracker and cheese sandwiches, each with a dollop of peanut butter on it and though the odd combo tasted well on the way down it most certainly didn't taste at all appetizing on the third time back up.

She spent a few more minutes absorbing the cool feeling that the tile provided her before trudging over to her medicine cabinet. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and grimaced, she looked like she had been hit by a bus. Shaking her head she opened the cabinet door and rummaged around until she found the Pepto-Bismol. Olivia took a swig of the pink liquid before plunking it back in the cabinet, but before she could close the door a box fell into the sink.

She grabbed the box of tampons and stared at them, they were unopened, but they shouldn't have been. She bought them last week because she should've been starting soon, but she hadn't. Eyes wide she looked through the cabinet and sure enough there was the other box she'd gotten for the previous month. Two missed periods, throwing up and feeling completely normal half an hour later, eating weird food then throwing up again, and overacting to a smelly witness in interrogation."

"Shit." Olivia whispered.

She hurriedly put both boxes back in the medicine cabinet and left the bathroom to find her phone. It was sitting on the coffee table in the living room and in her haste to grab it she ended it up knocking it onto the floor. Sighing she knelt down and started pawing around for it, she couldn't find it anywhere and she had no idea how panicked she really was until her vision began to blur from the tears that were now running down her face. How the hell had she let this happen?

You weren't exactly thinking that night, you even told him you wouldn't.

It wasn't supposed to happen like this. She was supposed to be in love with the father of the child that now grew inside her, she wasn't supposed to hate him. Olivia wiped her running nose on her sleeve; well maybe hate wasn't the right word. She didn't hate Elliot, she hated the situation he had put her in, but when it came to their relationship that was almost the exact same thing.

She leaned her head against the couch cushions and took a few shaky breaths. When she had calmed down and wiped the tears from her eyes she searched for her cell phone again, and quickly found it under the couch. She found his name in her contacts list but before she could hit the call button she started crying again, she was scared and overwhelmed and she had absolutely no idea how he was going to react.

Olivia didn't bother waiting out the tears; she hit the call button and was almost hoping the call was going to go to voicemail when he finally picked up. "Stabler."

"Hey...um it's me." She greeted, trying and failing to cover a sob with a cough.

"Liv? What's wrong?" The concern in his voice comforted her.

"I need you to do something for me on your way to my apartment." She said trying to get the tears under control.

"What do you need?" She smiled at his willingness to do anything she asked just because she sounded upset; it was like the past two months had been erased.

Taking a deep breath she spoke quietly into the receiver, "I need you get me a pregnancy test."

A/N: Duh, duh, duh...Were any of you suspecting that? If so-darn, if not-win for me! I apologize for not replying to any of the reviews yet. Pretty much all of them asked me to get this next chapter out ASAP so that's what my priority was this week. I will reply to all of the signed review now that this is up and the unsigned reviews will be answered following this. Alrighty, well thanks for reading, please review!

Monica: Nope, you've got the wrong author but it's cool :) I'm glad you like it and thanks for the review!

Amanda: Haha, thanks, glad you're enjoying it!