….. Chapter 54 …..
Beth looked on as Daryl finally picked an exit, relieved more than she could say to be leaving the disparaging stretch of highway behind. They had been traveling on it for what felt like forever, a distance that would've normally taken an hour now dragging out to half a day. The sheer amount of abandoned vehicles blocking their path had made it so. Rusted and ruined, they were strewn all over the road and were an unnerving testament to what the turn had left behind. Each one presented a potential risk that Daryl chose to bypass carefully so not to draw unwanted attention to themselves.
They had left the house in Butler earlier that morning, right after Daryl had set fire to it as promised. Using what little gasoline he could siphon from the tank of the LTD, he had doused both the home and the pool with it before tossing what was left onto the car itself. A couple of lit matches and it had all had gone up in flames. The two of them had just watched it do so from next to the motorcycle, neither of them saying a word. Unlike the moonshine house, there was no feeling of catharsis … no tentative hope for the future… just a mutual need to leave the whole damn place behind like the unfortunate memory it was destined to be.
The bike had been packed with anything that had been salvageable, most of it shoved into a backpack found by Beth in the spare bedroom closet. In it went clothes and what little food had been left along with some toiletries and a few medical supplies. Daryl had dug around until he found what was left of his bolts so they were now locked back on the Horton where they belonged. The weapon was so much a part of him that he had probably felt incomplete and bereft without them. What was left of the gasoline had gone into the Triumph and they had taken off soon after, the crossbow safely attached to a mount Merle had fabricated on the bikes handlebars.
It had been two days since his brother had left and Daryl still hadn't really talked about it. He had come up to her room just as she knew he would... laying down beside her to draw deep within himself. She had chosen to leave the subject alone, realizing how unfair it would be to push him on it. Instead, she had just moved over to make room for his much larger frame and had curled herself protectively around him, falling asleep that way to wake up the next morning alone.
Without the enormity of Merle's presence around, the house itself had felt like even more of an empty shell. If Daryl was still struggling to come to terms with his absence, he went out of his way to make sure she'd be the last one to know it. On one hand he had reconciled with his brother... which was far more than he expected considering that he never planned upon seeing him again. On the other was the sheer amount of pride swallowing effort it had taken for him to get to that point, effort that had likely lodged in his throat like a bitter pill when Merle had taken off again without so much as a backwards glance.
Despite his somber mood, Daryl had still insisted on staying at the house for a couple more days. He wanted to give her the time she needed to recover while they were in a somewhat safe enough place for her to do so. While the sentiment had been appreciated, Beth had personally wished they were leaving. Stuck in bed for days on end, it went without saying that she was beyond sick of it. Lacking anything else better to do, her mind kept dwelling on what had happened with Billy in the forest. The recollection kept coming back to haunt her far more often than it should. With the guilt that came with it trying its damndest to take root, it had made her feel like a prisoner... one who was stuck as the four walls of the room closed the memory in around her like a cage there was no escaping from.
As observant as Daryl tended to be, he could sense that something was wrong. He had hesitantly broached the subject of what happened with her last night while he had been changing her bandages. Out of the blue, he had told her that he knew what she had done… that Joe had inexplicably felt the need to tell him of it before he died… and he wanted to see how she was feeling about it now that the incident was over and it was just the two of them alone.
She had just sat there stunned for a moment before quickly shutting him down, not ready to talk about it and preferring to take the whole sordid ordeal to the grave rather than to have him worry about her for a moment more than he was already doing. Soothing it over with him as much as she could, she had blamed her muted demeanor on her injury and nothing more. By then Daryl had been so uncomfortable with the conversation that he hadn't known what to think. His gaze had narrowed pointedly but he had chosen not to push her for an answer that she didn't have to give. For her part she had been more than grateful for it, kissing him for caring before saying that she was tired.
That had been the end of it... or so she had thought. After a fitful nights sleep, she had been woken up this morning to him telling her that they were leaving. With the sun rising in the distance and the rain holding off for a few days now, he reckoned the house and everything that came with it was now dry enough to burn. She had felt nothing but an overwhelming sense of relief and didn't care to speculate on what had caused him to change his mind. She just knew that she had been on the verge of drastic measures for being cooped up in the room for so long, feeling so hemmed in by it she could scream.
Daryl gruffly told her to get together what she needed and to meet him downstairs in ten, making it clear that he intended them to be on the road soon after.
She had pushed herself eagerly from the bed to get fully dressed for the first time in days. Taking a few moments to brush her teeth and sweep her hair from her face, she had paused to look at herself in the bathroom mirror. Other than the paleness in her cheeks and the dark circles under her eyes, there was no outward appearance of the injury that was still doing its best to heal itself. That suited her just fine. She was barely able to feel the wound anymore and was done with dealing with it.
Leaving the bathroom for the last time, she had excitedly thrown the few items she had collected in the backpack and had ran down the stairs, stepping outside just as he was pushing the bike out from around the side of the house.
''Where are we going?'' She had rushed to ask, reveling in the cool morning breeze as it had swept into her hair. ''Are we going to Terminus?''
Daryl stopped to regard her for a moment, the sharp intuition of his gaze missing nothing. He heeled down the bikes kick stand and let it lilt over onto its own weight.
''Nah, not yet.'' He said carefully in return, ''Way I figure, it ain't going nowhere so I reckon it can wait for one more day. We're gonna make a pit stop first.''
Confused, her brows had drawn. ''A pit stop?''
''Nothin' dangerous,'' He assured, ''… jus' somewhere other than here. We're both in strung out shape. Whatever it is we're walkin' into tomorrow, I want us ta be ready for it an' I ain't much carin' what kind'a sanctuary it's sayin' it is. Ya need a good nights rest an' this place ain't cuttin' it anymore. That bein' said, I got somewhere else in mind. That a'right with you?''
She had just smiled and nodded... so happy to be going anywhere that she honestly didn't care where it was.
Climbing onto the back of the bike, she had waited while he took care of his business, setting everything on fire as he seemed hell bent and determined to do. She didn't think to ask him why it had been so important. When Daryl chose to do something there was little that could be said or done to dissuade him of it. Instead, she had watched the house burn from a safe distance and hadn't felt the slightest bit sorry to see it go.
With the roof noisily falling in on itself, he had come back over to strap a roll of blankets and some other provisions to the back of the Triumph before getting on it himself and starting the engine. She had wrapped her arms around him, holding on tight as he had sped out of the cul-de-sac in a hail of gravel. Of the two of them, only she had the fortitude to look back… sparing the place a final glance as if the fire could somehow purge her of all the nightmares she had acquired there.
They had gotten on the highway to ride it for miles, leading them to where they were now. Daryl had managed to avoid not only the clusters of cars in their way but also the multiple walkers that were trapped between them as well. The trek itself was harrowing but he seemed completely unphased by it. He had just weaved the bike around the chaos like the experienced rider she knew him to be.
Very tired and with her shoulder aching something fierce, Beth laid her head against him and had closed her eyes. Daryl would sometimes let his hand rest upon her knee, the fleeting touches letting her know without words that he was thinking of her.
In the heat of the moment, she had told him that she loved him and she was determined not find it within herself to regret it. An openhearted person by nature, the love she had for him burned within her like a beacon... one that had only gained traction over time. For his part, Daryl had chosen not to acknowledge it despite there being several occasions over the last week where he could've easily done so. Focused solely on recovering, she had ultimately decided to accept his silence rather than to have hurt feelings about it. Daryl was Daryl after all and he kept his emotions hidden under the best of circumstances. Not one for grand declarations, she realized that she wouldn't want him to be. She loved him for who he was and as far as she was concerned, his actions spoke louder than words.
With her feelings for him prevailing over the more disparaging ones she was desperate to leave behind, Beth had fallen asleep at his back like she had never slept before. Waking up a short time later, she saw that he was finally pulling off of the highway. She wanted to ask him where they were going but didn't dare take the chance, not wanting to distract him in case they ran into any kind of trouble. They eventually ended up on a heavily wooded back road of some kind, one that was clear of any impediments that could make things difficult. It indicated that it was nowhere near anything of importance even though the exit they had taken to reach it had no sign to say so one way or the other.
The long stretch of asphalt looked vaguely familiar but it wasn't until they cleared the dense tree line that she was finally able to figure out why. Acres upon acres of untilled farmlands came into view, each of them sprawling for as far as the eye could see. She looked around in surprise, barely believing that they were back on the road to Piedmont. Did he purposely mean to bring them here?
The last time they had seen the unforgiving stretch of asphalt was the night of the store incident, when the two of them had been stuck walking it for miles. The neglected plots of land it ran between had flourished since then, the recent rain causing each one to flower into a spectrum of unhindered color that went on to the horizon. They shimmered and swayed ethereally as the afternoon breeze swept over them in waves.
Beth felt her heart lighten for seeing it, finding the sight to be beautiful. The depleted wastelands of that fateful night had mirrored her broken mentality but like her, they had weathered the storm to come out the other side stronger and far more resilient. Feeling better than she had in days she pushed her hair from her eyes and wondered just where it was Daryl was taking her. The mortuary had been destroyed by the fire, was it possible that he knew of somewhere else in Piedmont that would suffice? Her question was soon answered when he pulled off to the side of the road, the tires of the Triumph sinking heavily into the gravel. There… sitting in the distance, was the old barn the two of them had slept in that night so long ago. Her eyes widened for looking at it, having not thought in a million years that here was where he wanted to go.
He cut the engine off and gave her a cursory glance over his shoulder, probably to gage her reaction.
''The barn?'' She smiled in disbelief, ''This is where you had in mind?''
''I said nothin' dangerous...'' He smirked, holding the bike steady between his legs so she could climb stiffly off its back, ''Don't know 'bout you but I ain't seen a walker for miles.''
Unlatching the Horton from the handlebars, he handed it over to her so he could push the bike to the barns entrance on foot. Utilizing a dirt path that led from the road, he made sure to do so as quietly as possible, looking around the whole time for anything unusual. The land the barn sat on was completely overgrown, making it look so much different than their first time here. The tall grass obscured the dead animal carcasses that still lay rotting out in its midst while also hiding any other potential issues as well. As they walked, she made sure to stay alert for any movement out of the ordinary.
Beth held the crossbow at the ready and trailed behind Daryl without saying a word. Treading carefully in his wake, she felt happier and more excited than she knew she had a right to be. What had initially stuck her as a surprising choice of destinations had quickly become an appealing one. The barn was as far away from reality as anything could hope to be, making it secluded and private. The two of them would be all alone... cut off from the world and the harshness that came with it, at least for the night.
Hearing the sound of the river nearby, she suddenly realized why Daryl had chosen to bring her here. He had known how awful she'd been feeling… known it despite everything she had done to try and hide it from him. Remembering how much the bath she had taken here had helped her before, he was likely hoping that it might do so again.
Beth could feel her heart swell that he would think to do such a thing, touched by it more than she could say. The alluring sound of the water called out to her, much as it had done that fateful night. The thought of washing away all that had happened back to her at the house became almost overwhelming. She could barely wait to get in, if only to cleanse herself of the memory once and for all.
Daryl stopped just outside of the barns main entrance and glanced around before letting the bike tilt over silently on its kickstand. He took the crossbow back and went over to the door, putting his ear against it before banging on it hard with flat open hand. Hearing nothing amiss, he went to go inside only to pause for a moment and turn back around...
His gaze narrowed in on her.
Looking as though he had a serious bone to pick, he indicated for her to come over to him with a determined crook of his finger. Confused, Beth warily did as instructed… fully expecting to be told something she didn't want to hear once she got there. As soon as she got near him, he pulled her in close... his mouth finding hers to kiss her hard.
Caught completely off guard, Beth gasped against him as the excitement she was already feeling instantly bloomed into something more. It set her pulse to racing as she closed her eyes, surging up onto her toes to pull him to her by the frayed edge of his jacket. She had no idea how far he planned on taking the kiss and at this point she really didn't care. Her lips parted willingly to invite him inside.
His tongue delved in to engage with hers, probing and insistent for having received the response that he wanted. The crossbow hung forgotten at his side as he saw his intentions through and it wasn't until he was done that she felt as though she could breathe again, the dizzying aspect of the brief interaction leaving her yearning.
She could only stare up at him, panting for air as the confusion that had been there before came rushing back in spades. ''What… was that… for?''
Daryl reached up to graze his thumb softly across her lower lip, soothing the area for having left it slightly swollen.
''Ya once told me a while ago that you'd do what I asked if I jus' asked ya nicely." Was all he said. "Well, this is me nicely askin' ya ta stay your ass here… jus' in case ya were, I dunno… feelin' differently about it.''
She didn't even get a chance to respond before he was gone, disappearing inside the darken interior of the barn to sweep through the entire thing in less than five minutes flat. The man could clear a building faster than anyone she knew. Beth looked back out again to the nearby river while he was gone, feeling slightly guilty for reveling in the moment so much. With the sun glistening on the waters surface and the feel of his lips still lingering on her own, she'd be lying if she said she wasn't looking forward to the rest of the night and whatever might come along with it.
Daryl came back out to say that the structure was clear before prying the door open wider so she could slip under his arm.
''Looks like nothings changed, least not since tha last time we were here.'' He muttered, waving a hand against the floating hay particles that had been kicked up by his steps. ''Place is still dusty as shit but I reckon it'll do for whatever we're needin' it for.''
''Hmmm, is that right... and what might that be?'' She teased, her lower lip snagging on a smile when he just turned around to stare at her in disbelief.
The innuendo she was not so subtlety alluding to caused an immediate flush of color to sear across his face. The way she figured he really only had himself to blame. She hadn't asked him to kiss her but seeing that he had, it had only served to remind her of that particularly stirring aspect to their relationship. The feel of his body against hers had turned her on, despite it not being what he had probably intended. With the two of them now enticingly alone with each other, the reaction had caused everything sexual within her to jump alluringly back on point. The long dormant awareness had excited her beyond belief.
''Stop,'' Daryl groused, not unkindly. ''I didn't bring ya here for that.''
She smiled reassuringly, realizing in hindsight that he might not have known she was teasing, ''I know. I just appreciate the fact that you brought me here anyway, even if it's only for one night. You have no idea how much I wanted to leave that house.''
Daryl dropped his gaze to his feet, a guilty look crossing over his face.
''Yeah, well… this place ain't much ta look at but it's tha only thing I could think of that's quiet an' out of the way.'' He looked back up to regard her seriously before pulling a hesitant breath, ''Listen… since ya brought it up... I know that what happened to ya back there has been weighin' on ya hard an' ya don't need ta talk 'bout it if ya ain't feelin' inclined to. I jus' want ya ta know that it weren't my intentions ta keep you stuck in that bed dwellin' on it for days on end... I jus' wanted ta give ya some time ta recover, is all.''
Beth just stood there with her heart pounding, not quite sure that she was ready to discuss the matter further. The explanation he deserved was stuck in her throat, making her eyes water. It gradually loosened somewhat for seeing the supportive look he was giving her and she swallowed hard at it, realizing that it might be best to be truthful with him so she could move past it herself.
''I swear, I'm not purposely trying to keep things from you. I… I'm just having a hard time dealing with the fact that I killed someone… a person who was living and breathing like me. Despite all the things that I've done, I've never had to resort to that and… and I guess I'm still struggling with it. The guilt is making it difficult for me to convince myself that I did the right thing and staying in that house was only making it worse. I'm trying to come to terms with it and figure it out… it's just taking some time...''
Beth was left staring up at him apprehensively, hoping that he understood what she was trying her best to say. The last thing she'd ever want was for him to feel sorry for her… especially seeing of how far the two of them had come. This was her own burden to bear and she would rather bear it alone for all eternity than to see an ounce of pity reflected in his eyes. She felt her shoulders brace down upon her slim frame as she prepared herself for his response.
''Did he hurt ya?'' He asked quietly, needing to know without pushing too hard for details.
Her gaze dropped down to the scattered hay at their feet. ''No more than I hurt him. It doesn't matter now anyway, it's over. He's dead and nothings going to change that.''
Daryl came over to where she was standing, the dust in the air swirling in his wake. He swept his finger into her hair to tuck it gently behind her ear, a gesture that was becoming more and more endearing to her each time he did it. Beth leaned into his hand, unable to help herself as she unknowingly looked for his reassurance.
''We ain't gonna talk about it again, not unless ya want to,'' He said down to her, ''Jus' remember, ya said you could handle ya self and ya did. Sometimes that has ta be consolation enough. It ain't easy but ya gotta learn to live with it. Ya survived an' that's what matters. Except for that whole-steppin' in front of a bolt an' scaring tha shit outta me-thing, that's about all ya can do.''
She smiled against the hand that was lingering on her face, making the corner of his mouth notch up as well. The teasing reminder was a lighthearted way to ease the heavy pall that had fallen over the conversation. By the time his fingers dropped away, Beth felt a lot better for having talked to him about it. Thinking back on it now, she should've known that she would.
Daryl stepped back, seemingly relieved himself for finally being clued in. ''C'mon, let's go see what kind 'a state that beds in while it's still light enough ta do so. I'm gonna head out afterwards an' find somethin' ta kill for dinner… maybe another rabbit as long as they ain't all hidin' out. While I'm gone, why don't ya head down ta tha river an' go swim… take a little time ta ya self.''
''I knew you brought me here so I could take a bath!''
''So we both could.'' He said matter of factly, slinging the Horton over his shoulder so he could head up the ladder that led up to the loft. ''Way I reckon, I'm long overdue. Jus' because I've got an aversion ta soap an' water don't mean I wanna continue stewin' in my own filth.''
Beth laughed and followed him up to the top level to see that he hadn't been lying… everything did look the same. The floor was still covered in hay, most of it blown all over the place. Without loft doors, the winds of the storm had free reign to do as they pleased. The warm sun was the only thing streaming in now though and if Beth was being honest with herself, she found everything about it to be appealing.
''Think ya can reassemble this on ya own?'' Daryl asked, the broad set of his shoulders relaxing for the first time that day. ''There's only a few hours left of sunlight an' if I'm huntin', it's best that I get on with it…''
When Beth nodded, he reached into the waistline of his pants and produced Joe's handgun. ''Here, take this jus' in case. I ain't goin' so far where I won't hear it. There's blankets an' clean towels on tha back of tha bike, jus' leave me one down by tha river an' I'll use it when I get back.''
With that said he was gone, climbing back down the ladder to leave her standing in the empty loft by herself.
Beth looked around, more excited than she could say to get started. Her mind instantly began to prioritize the things she wanted to do in the order that she wanted to do them. First things first, she quickly made the bed... working up a sweat as she kicked and shoved the hay into a pile that would suffice. Flattening it out, the blankets went on top to make it much more comfortable than sleeping on the bare hay itself.
Next came setting up camp outside. Daryl hadn't specifically asked her to do such a thing but the way she figured, she might as well seeing that she had the time. Having a fire ready to go just meant that they could both eat that much sooner and being as hungry as she was, that was a good thing. Beth gathered sticks and twigs and anything else that would burn and put them all in the fire pit he had created from before. While she did so, she recalled doing the same thing a long time ago, back when they had eaten the mudsnake before going to the country club. Her and Daryl's relationship had changed so much since then, it was almost unbelievable.
With the bike unpacked and everything set, Beth finally got around to doing the one thing she'd been looking forward to the whole time she had been working.
Grabbing the gun, the towels and the few toiletries they had managed to bring with them, she went down to the water to find it cloudy but calm despite the recent storms. Taking a moment to search through the nearby brush, she located the pile of old clothes she had left there from before. Buried in the sand beneath them was the travel kit she had accidentally left behind as well. Ecstatic for finding it, she opened up the water proof case to see her toothbrush, some toothpaste, a razor, a comb and what was left of the shampoo and conditioner she had used.
Taking the items down to the waters edge, she set them all on a fallen log that lay caught up on the river bed. The gun Daryl gave her was placed there as well as she stiffly got undressed.
All of the constant movement of the last hour had her shoulder throbbing painfully and it had decided to finally make itself known. Beth gingerly peeled her bra off, wincing for having to reach behind her back for the clasp. The rest of her clothes had been scavenged from the box in the closet but this was the only one she had, she wanted to wash it while she could. Left standing there in nothing but a bandage and her underwear, she shivered against the cold as the frigid temperature of the water nipped repeatedly at her toes.
In the process of trying to comb the tangles from her hair, she heard a faint noise from behind her.
Beth instantly froze but didn't turn around, holding her breath in an effort to make sure her ears weren't playing tricks on her. The muted snapping happened once more and she immediately went for the gun. Flashbacks of Billy sneaking up on her from behind seared to the forefront of her memory as she spun around... not knowing what to expect but fully prepared to rid herself of it once and for all.
The sights of the gun lined up perfectly as her finger tightened on the trigger… a dark cloud of fear, anger and guilt descending heavily as the recollection of his hands around her throat obscured her vision and choked her breathing. It wasn't until the very last second that she was finally able to see through the stifling haze to realize that it wasn't some ghostly apparition she was about to shoot...
It was Daryl.
….
I apologize that this chapter is being posted a little later than usual but I have been writing non stop and wanted to take advantage of it. Unfortunately, another set back came when I had just finished writing chapter 60 and saw that my computer had erased chapter 57 for reasons unknown (actually, not so unknown… I use both a iPad and a Macbook when I write and things like that happen when you save on one device but not on the other) After throwing a mini temper tantrum where I cursed both extensively, I figured I'd better rewrite the dang thing while I still had it somewhat fresh enough in my head to do so. Sigh… these things take time.
To make it up to you, I promise that I will post again within the week!
Thank you as always for sticking with 'What Still Lies Ahead' through all these ups and downs! Hope everyone had a great holiday and please leave a review!