Chapter Three
And A Baby Makes Three
August 8th, 2004
Elliot stared up at Olivia's apartment building and scrubbed a hand over his face before walking up to the front door. He took a few measured breaths to calm down and then pressed the call button by her apartment number.
"Liv, it's me." She buzzed him in without responding.
Once inside he headed towards the stairs, she lived on the fourth floor and for once he was grateful for the long walk, he hadn't had any time to wrap his head around this...whatever this was. When she had called, he was afraid she was going to tell him not to come over, but a pregnancy test, that was the last thing he expected her to ask for. He knew they hadn't been careful but he never would've imagined that he would get his partner pregnant.
You don't know that she is yet, he thought, but then he remembered how upset she had sounded on the phone and he knew that something must have been convincing enough to make her believe that she was. God, the way her voice had sounded, he'd known for some time how much she wanted children and now that she might have one it seemed like it was the last thing she wanted and it was all his fault. Everything was his fault.
Elliot didn't blame her for thinking she was just a way for him to get over his ex-wife, he hadn't handled that well at all, but her assumption was anything but true. He had been completely blind-sided by her admission and hadn't been able to come up with a response and she had interpreted his silence the wrong way. After Olivia left all he could think about the rest of the day was that she was in love with him, and that she had been for some time. Part of him still didn't want to believe her because the night before he had come to the same conclusion about her.
When they had made love, it was like he was seeing her, all of her, for the first time since they'd met, and not just literally. She had let him look inside her, in her eyes he could see her soul, he could see the hurt, passion and love, he could see everything, and in that instant, before their bodies became one, he knew. He was in love with her, and it scared the hell out of him. He could have told her the next morning when she admitted her love for him, but he was just beginning to understand it himself and to already know she loved him back was too much at once.
Two months later Elliot was still trying to figure it out, but when she had asked him to come over so they could talk he was prepared to lay everything out on the line. He had respected her initial wishes; he hadn't called, he didn't bring that night up once. But now he was done pretending nothing had happened and letting their ignorance take its toll on their partnership.
His plans were ruined, however, because he couldn't very well tell her he loved her now. She wouldn't believe him, she would say it was only because he'd gotten her pregnant and felt obligated, she might even bring up Kathy and their rushed marriage. He would tell her though, no matter how long or how hard he had to convince her he meant it, she would eventually believe that he loved her. But for now they had to handle this baby thing, so Elliot knocked on the door to her apartment and buried all his feelings deep within the recesses of his heart.
She opened the door a few seconds later in a pair of sweats and a NYPD t-shirt. His gaze traveled up to her face and saw her eyes were red from crying and she looked exhausted.
"Hey." It was the only thing he could think of and it sounded odd coming out of his mouth. "I got off as soon as I could and I-"
Elliot was interrupted when she suddenly hugged him, grasping onto the back of his shirt like she was hanging on for dear life. He gently picked her up and moved them inside her apartment, closing the door behind him. He both felt and saw her shoulders and chest begin to shake as she sobbed into his shoulder.
He kissed the top of her head lightly, "Shhh, Liv I'm here. Everything is going to be fine, I promise."
He stroked her back as her crying slowly quieted enough for her to speak, "Are y-you sure?"
"Yeah I am." He answered confidently, when she had stopped crying he pulled back and gave her a small smile. "But why don't you go take the test before we worry ourselves anymore, okay?"
"Okay." She nodded her head and he handed her the pregnancy test, following her back to her bedroom.
He waited on her bed while she was in the bathroom. When he heard the faucet turn on and then off a few minutes later, he knocked on the door. She unlocked it and he entered to find her sitting on the floor opposite the sink where the test rested. He slid down beside her and took her hand, squeezing it gently.
"Longest two minutes of your life, or so I've heard." They both knew he'd been through this many times, but his joke still brought a smile to her face.
She leaned her head against his shoulder, "What're we going to do if it's positive?"
He sighed, "Well, I guess for starters we should fix things between us. Actually we should do that if it's negative too."
"I'm sorry El. I shouldn't have said what I said and then stormed out like that, you obviously didn't and don't feel the same way and I shouldn't have expected you to." Her words made him want to admit everything right then, but now was neither the time nor the place.
"And I'm sorry for not telling you that I had just finalized the divorce and that I pressured you into staying." He apologized, even though he wasn't completely sorry she had stayed that night.
"So apologies accepted and we can get back to being friends again?" She asked hesitantly.
"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea." He smiled down at her and she returned it easily.
Olivia glanced at her watch then looked up at the test, "We've got thirty seconds."
He stood, back facing the sink, and held out a hand to help her up, "Promise me one thing?"
"What?" She asked confused.
"If that test is positive you will let me help you. You'll let me be there as your friend and as this child's father." His request was not an outrageous one and she would not argue with him, but she silently wished for him to be so much more.
"I promise El, I wouldn't expect anything less from you." She smiled and once again squeezed his hand. "You ready?"
"Yeah, you?" He questioned.
She nodded her head, "On three we'll look okay?" He gave her a nod and she took a deep breath still undecided on what she was hoping the test would tell them. "One, two, three."
He turned around and they both took a step towards the sink. Two little pink lines stared up at her and, even though they were in a very screwed up situation and she had no idea how they were going to make this work, she was happy. She was going to have a baby, Elliot's baby, she looked over at him and for the first time in the past two months she felt that pang in her heart again. She still loved him, she'd been trying not to because of how angry she had been with him, but she now realized it was a failed attempt.
She tucked the revelation away to re-examine later and turned her head towards him, "So, how do you feel about this?"
"Having a kid with my partner? Not something I ever pictured but I think we can handle it." He gave her a reassuring smile and leaned against the sink.
"What are we going to tell Cragen, and the squad-God I completely forgot about IAB, if they find out we could both loose our jobs and-" he cut her off by grabbing her arm gently, but firm enough to get her attention.
"I was thinking about that earlier and I thought of a plan but if you don't like it then we can figure out something else." She worried that he was going to suggest one of them transfer precincts, but she let him continue anyways. "Tomorrow we go in and talk to Cragen. We tell him that what happened, happened and we have moved past it and it won't interfere with our partnership anymore. We will tell him that the baby is mine and we know that IAB will have a problem with it, but if I know Cragen well enough he will not want to lose his two best detectives as much as we don't want to go, so then we will suggest that he tell them a different story."
"Alright, I'm following you so far, and I agree that he will not want to lose us, but what is this story?" She asked not sure where he was going with this.
"Okay well, and only if you're okay with it, I'm suggesting we tell him to tell IAB that you have no idea who the baby's father is, that it was just a one night stand and you didn't get his name. I know you're not that kind of person, but I thought it would be the easiest story to sell." When he finished he looked at her nervously and after mulling over his idea she slowly nodded her head.
"That sounds...okay." She gave him a small smile. "Now we just have to convince Cragen."
"Alright let's just go over this one more time." Cragen said running a hand over his face. "You slept together, which is why you've been acting so weird these past two months, and now she's pregnant and you made up, but you're just friends and you want me to tell IAB, if and when they ask, that she doesn't know who the father is."
Elliot and Olivia glanced and each other and then back at their Captain, "Yes."
He was quiet for a few minutes and Olivia began to worry that he was going to split them up or worse tell IAB the truth and get them both fired. She wrung her hands nervously, glad that she had opted for a couple of crackers for breakfast since her stomach was now in knots.
"You're damn lucky I like you both so much." Cragen finally broke the silence and she let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. "As long as you don't let this interfere with work I will do my best to keep them out of the loop."
"Thank you Captain." Elliot said sounding relieved.
"Yes, thank you." She repeated.
"You're both welcome." He turned to Olivia with a stern look in his eyes. "You are on desk duty; field work is too dangerous even if you're only two months. You can do interrogations for now, but once you're showing you are only allowed to observe, got it?"
"Understood." She was a little bristled at being ordered around but was still grateful he had agreed to their plan so she ignored it. "I have my first doctor's appointment next week, but I should only need the afternoon off."
"I assume you'll be going as well?" He asked looking at Elliot.
"Actually I'm not. We figured IAB would catch on if I went to every appointment so I'm only going to go for the most important ones." He answered.
Olivia tried to keep the disappointment out of her features. They had indeed agreed upon this the night before, but she was still upset that he wouldn't be there all the time.
"Alright." He started moving some things around on his desk, a sign that the conversation was coming to an end. "I'll do the paperwork on your assignment to desk duty and deal with any questions they have about the father."
"Thank you again Captain." Olivia said as they stood to leave.
"Yep." Just before they were all the way out the door he spoke again. "I didn't say it before, but congratulations guys."
They both smiled, "Thanks."
Olivia closed the door and they headed back to their desks, "That went easier than I thought it would."
Elliot leaned back in his chair, his hands clasped behind his head, "Yeah, glad he's got our backs, not that I ever doubted he did."
She turned on her computer then looked back at him, "When should I tell Fin and Munch, and are we telling them the truth or...?"
"I mean, they're trustworthy enough, but right now I think the less people that know the better." He replied glancing across the squad room at the two men in question.
"Yeah, I agree." She started sorting through her emails but stopped, looking up at him again. "Hey El?"
"Hmm?" He looked back over at her.
"Thank you." She didn't have to specify what for, especially because there were a lot of things she was thankful for.
"Of course Liv. We're partners, for better or worse."
A/N: Hey all! Sorry for the late update. I hope you all had a wonderful holiday and I hope your New Year is good as well! Thanks for reading, reviews are greatly appreciated!
Jane: I'm not sure if you reviewed twice because I was taking so long or if there are two Janes but I hope that you didn't chew your fingers off and that you enjoyed this chapter :)
sexiibiatch: I am working as fast as I can! Thanks for the review and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!