... Chapter 55 ….
Looking down the cold barrel of the gun, Daryl slowly held up his hands.
''S' jus' me…'' He said as calmly as possible, not wanting to chance that she might not actually know it.
Beth was just staring at him, the gun held unnervingly steady in her hand. He had seen that look before, more times than he cared to recall… that post traumatic dead-eyed stare that was all too familiar since the turn. Detached from reality, it came from snuffing out a life and was something that never truly went away. Instead it just faded over time as it did for all of them, the accumulated horrors dulling its impact until it became like second nature.
He distinctly remembered the girl looking at him that way before, right after he had pulled her out from under Harley's dead fat ass. She had stared right through him much like she was doing right now... her eyes glazed over as though trapped in a hell that there was no escaping from. That unnervingly vacant look was partially the reason why he had brought her here despite the fact that it was nowhere near where they needed to be. The bath she had taken had done wonders for her then and he was hoping against all hopes that it would do the same for her now.
He had known that something was wrong back at the house, something that had nothing to do with her injury... but he just hadn't known how to confront her about it. While Merle was around it had been easier for them both to ignore. His brother's dominant nature and over-the-top personality had all but encompassed any conversation that could've been had about it. She had seemed fine… happy even... until Merle had bailed and it was just the two of them alone. It was then that he had watched her steadily decline.
The silence left in his brothers wake had been deafening. Stuck in her room with no choice but to dwell on it, the ramifications of what had happened in the woods had come back to haunt her. Even when he had tried to talk to her about it, she had resisted his efforts… to the point where he had finally decided that he'd had about enough.
The house they were in had become a problem.
What he saw as a safe haven, Beth only saw as a prison and he was beyond done with it. His need to protect her was just causing her to be miserable and he couldn't do it… not anymore, not when the guilt of her injury still weighed on him enough to keep him awake at night. He'd been struggling to come to terms with it long before his brother had left and he was still doing so now. To see her looking so unhappy hadn't helped matters. The sadness in her eyes was more than he could take so it was then that he had decided it was time for them to leave as well. When informed of his decision, Beth had looked downright relieved... so much so that he had felt like an asshole for forcing her to stay for so long. As much as he wanted to say it was for her own good, it had really been for his own and deep down he knew it.
He had packed up the bike sure of one thing - if the two of them were to go straight to Terminus in the shit poor sorry state they were in, they would undoubtedly get themselves killed. Injured and exhausted, they had both been wrung through an ordeal that had them looking bad and feeling worse. They needed to hole up somewhere... somewhere safe... at least for the night.
It was then that the barn had come to mind. To him it made perfect sense. He knew where it was and more importantly, that it was clear of anything that could pose any kind of threat. The damn thing was so far off the beaten path that it could barely be said to exist at all. She could take her bath while he pulled his shit together, leading them both to hopefully get the good nights rest that they were long overdue.
Reckoning it to be as good of a plan as any, he had set out to see it done, purposely choosing not to inform Beth of the destination until she could see it for herself. Initially, he had worried that she'd be disappointed but she had brightened almost immediately, confirming that he had done something right for the first time in what felt like days.
Seeing that spark again only made him realize how much he had missed her, even though she had been barely out of his sight. To him, it just wasn't the same. On the surface she seemed fine, the two of them getting along much as they always had... but deep down something was missing and it was bothering the hell out of him that he couldn't figure it out. It was like the light that was inside of her had been extinguished.
With the girl laid up recovering from her injuries and him with nothing much better to do, he had been left dwelling on it for days. Was it because she had told him she loved him and he hadn't said it back? She hadn't indicated as much and had never pushed him for an answer. He reckoned it was because she knew he'd do nothing but fuck it up by even attempting it with any degree of sincerity. Believing it of himself, all the things he wanted to say had faltered in his throat, the diminished expectations that came with them keeping each one lodged there unyieldingly. Flowery words intended to relay his true feelings had never been his strong suit so he had ended up doing what he did best and keeping his mouth shut.
It wasn't until they had gotten to the barn that she had finally opened up on her own, doing so with the merest of encouragement on his part. At first, he had just been relieved to know that he hadn't been the problem... but then he got to really listening to what she was trying her best to say. She had quietly told him how the guilt that came from killing someone had been riding her hard, that she had never taken a life before... at least not a human one. What meant survival to others had meant something else for her… the total loss of a part of herself that there was no coming back from. As someone who still believed in the inherent goodness of people, it had been a devastating burden to bear and she had been struggling to bear it ever since.
He had stood there trying to wrap his brain around the concept like it was some new fangled idea he had only just heard about. Since the turn, he had killed so many people that his memory could barely differentiate between the humans and the walkers anymore. His first kill was nothing now but a vague recollection of the person on the other end of the Horton having deserved it. At this point he was so mind numbingly desensitized to it that the mere notion of having a guilty conscious had never once crossed his thoughts.
She didn't have his experience though so he guessed it was understandable that she'd have a much tougher time. It would eventually get easier much like it did for all of them. The best way to come to terms with the guilt was by buckling down and taking it. Relaying that sentiment the best he could, he had pointed out that she had survived and that was all that really mattered. She had been put in a bad situation though no fault of her own and had lived to see its other side. None of the other participants could say that. Ultimately, it was all either of them could hope for.
She had seemed happier for talking about it, much like he had been for knowing. That alone had been worth bringing her here. The girl was strong… a lot fucking stronger than she gave herself credit for. After reminding her of it, he left her to her own devices and had headed out into the fields, his focus shifting to hunting and finding them something for dinner.
The reassuring feel of the Horton at his cheek had helped center him immediately, proving yet again why coming here had been one of his better ideas. The hard line of tension held tight in his shoulders for days gradually eased off, calming his storm enough to give him back some of his endurance. He was going to need it if he planned on having his shit on point by tomorrow.
With two dead jack rabbits finally in hand, he made his way down to the waters edge knowing that she'd most likely be there by now. He had purposely taken his time so to give her as much as she needed. Rounding the path, he had thought he'd made enough noise to precursor his arrival but in the end it hadn't mattered. One minute she had been standing there completely lost in thought as she ran a comb through her hair and the next he had the business end of the Beretta pointing at him dead square in the chest.
His presence finally seemed to register and she suddenly snapped to, gasping in shock as the gun dropped down to her side.
''Daryl! Oh my god... I… I swear, I don't know what just happened…''
She looked stunned, almost as though she had expected something different to come from pointing a loaded gun at someone. Daryl reached over to take it from her grasp, figuring it best to not take any chances.
''Jesus… yeah, well… let's not do that again.'' He muttered in return, keeping it breezy as he shoved the weapon into his waistband. ''Guessin' I should've made a hell of a lot more noise comin' down here. Promise it weren't my intention ta, y'know... creep up on ya like that…''
''No, that was all my fault..." She breathed, her shoulders slumping visibly for the unexpected pressure being released, "I'm so sorry... my mind was playing tricks on me. When I was alone in the forest, Billy snuck up on me from behind, he… he grabbed me and pushed me down into the dirt. I was caught up in remembering it and then I heard a noise…''
Standing there wringing her hands together, the girl was pleading her case as if to somehow trying to convince him that she hadn't really intended to shoot him. She had clearly forgotten that she was doing so in nothing but a thin pair of white underwear. Daryl drew from his reserve and tried his damndest to forget it as well. Her skin was glowing in the dying sunlight, it's creamy softness not detracted from at all by the bandage still wrapped around her shoulder. The cold water at her toes had her breasts high and tight, causing the rigid nipples at their peaks to part insistently through her hair. Christ, that bullet to the chest was starting to sound fucking good right now. Had it really been that long?
Feeling his dick stir to life in his pants, Daryl forced himself back to the moment and the situation at hand. ''It's jus' shellshock,'' He made himself say, ''It makes ya edgy as shit but it'll pass.''
''I hope so. I just didn't expect to… oh my god!'' She looked down to see what he was seeing and immediately tried to cover herself with her hands, ''I'm naked! Why in the world didn't you say something!''
Daryl shrugged with a false indifference and hoped that the gesture came across as a given.
''Thought ya knew. Ain't that what usually happens when ya take ya clothes off?'' Upon seeing the concept still fail to register, he felt the need to add with an amused smirk, ''It's a lil' late for that...''
With her arms now somewhat sufficiently wrapped around herself, Beth pursed her lips in embarrassment.
''Aren't you supposed to be hunting or something?!" She groused, trying hard not to smile now herself, "… or were you just purposely trying to sneak down here and scare the hell out of me?''
Daryl couldn't help but find the bloom of color flaring across her cheeks as appealing as he always did, the natural reaction being something that was distinctly hers.
''I done told ya it weren't my intention. Trust me when I say that I've had enough guns pointed in my direction ta last me a lifetime an' then some. I caught these...'' He held up the two all but forgotten dead animals in his hand, ''Jus' figured I come down here first an' see if ya needed some… I dunno, some help takin' ya bandage off or somethin' before I got ta skinning 'em.''
To her credit, Beth completely ignored the words tripping out of his mouth as she twirled around in the sand gracefully, moving her hair out of the way to give him unfettered access to the bandage in question. Daryl dropped the rabbits to the ground and unwrapped it from around the curve of her shoulder, mentally cursing himself the entire time he did so. He really was a glutton for his own punishment and had no one to blame but himself. He had come down to the river on purpose, much like he knew he would. He had hoped to see her floating without a care on the waters surface just like she had done before. The image of that moment had burned itself into his memory like a polaroid picture, one he couldn't dislodge… and it gave him peace in a lifetime worth of chaos.
Getting a view of more skin than he bargained for, he reckoned he couldn't complain. Seeing her in her half naked splendor had only served to remind him of just what it was he was painfully missing out on. While they were at the house, he had slept on the spare bed in her room on purpose, wanting to be close but not that damn close. Of course, she hadn't liked it one bit and had gone out of her way to make sure that he knew it. At the time he had thought it for the best. She was hurt and he didn't want to chance something happening between them that neither one of them was ready for. The hindrance of her injury was gone now but the quandary it left behind still remained… was she really ready to pick back up where they had left off?
With the bandage removed Daryl checked over her wound, his fingers lingering on her skin longer than needed to see the job done. After convincing himself that it was healing well, he swallowed hard and stepped away, not trusting himself to be near her much longer. He rolled up the used bandage in his hand, feeling awkward and exposed for reasons he couldn't quite explain.
Beth turned to face him, seeming to sense his reticence.
''You could… always get in with me.'' She said shyly.
He pulled a deep breath, the temptation of the offer requiring it. ''I can't… not this time. Someone's gotta keep watch an' I wanna get these on tha fire before nightfall.''
When she looked disappointed by the response, he notched up her chin with the crook of his finger. ''I meant what I said 'bout not bringin' ya here for that but know that I ain't taking it off tha table either. Even if it was my intention, tha way ya lookin' right now would be enough ta change my mind about it...'' He leaned down and kissed away what could possibly be seen as rejection before pulling back to say adamantly, ''I ain't takin' a chance with ya safety again, not after what happened... so go on now, go take ya bath before I regret what I'm sayin' an' change it anyways. I'ma take care of this meat…''
He spanked her lightly on the ass to get her moving, making her yelp in surprise. With the kiss and his words being enough, she turned back around to the water happily, seemingly more than content to get in for whatever reasons would make her willing to brave its frigid temperature. Daryl hung around for a moment before leaving it at that, wondering predictably if he had made the right decision.
With no way to know, he picked up the dead rabbits and tucked them into his belt. He had meant what he said about not being complacent again and keeping that determination firmly in mind, he pulled the Horton from his back as he went back to the barn, not even daring to glance over his shoulder as he disappeared around its side.
Coming back to where the bike was parked, he found the camp was already set up so he got a fire started and wearily sat down. Visions of the girl began to consume his thoughts, much like they always did when he was trying his damndest to concentrate on anything else. From the way the sun had played over her curves to the feel of her skin as it gave softly beneath his fingers - there wasn't a single thing about her that didn't speak to him on a sexual level and the last ten minutes of his life had only served to remind him why.
The sight of her nakedness had set him hard on edge, filling his head with erotically charged memories that he didn't particularly need right now. It made it borderline painful to continue sitting there like he didn't have a fucking care in the world. If his game plan was for for them both to get a good nights rest, he seriously needed to get his shit together or else he'd be in for hours of this self induced torture.
Realizing it, Daryl skinned one of the rabbits with more force than was necessary to tear the fir from its flesh, not much caring when its blood splattered disgustingly into the dirt by his boot. To him, the effort it was taking was worth it… anything to stop himself from thinking about the ardent parts of his body sinking deep into hers until he could rid himself of the ache that was waiting for her.
…..
As promised, another chapter within a week as a thank you for your patience! I hope you enjoyed it!
Thank you as always for sticking with this story. It truly is a labor of love as I just recently pointed out to one of my readers. Please leave me a comment or a review or a musing in general. I really appreciate them!