…. Chapter 57 …..
A cool breeze swept in through the lofts open doorway, drawing Daryl from his thoughts as it rustled at the loose hay scattered along the floorboards.
He had been awake for a while now, smoking through the few cigarettes he had laying nearby as he watched the sun rise over the hills in the distance. The light that came with it slowly bled into the space, filtering across the blankets to tell him that he should be getting his ass up. He had shit to do after all and not a whole lot of time to do it in. The only reason he was procrastinating was because he was too damn comfortable to move. The bed was warm, the naked girl sleeping peacefully at his side ensuring that it stayed that way. Removing himself from both it and from her just seemed like a cold and unnecessary precursor to what was undoubtedly going to be a harrowing day.
Realizing that no amount of rushing around was likely going to change that, Daryl lit another smoke and shoved his free arm under his head to pull a drag from it. Terminus and all the potentially troubling aspects that could come with it had been pressing on his mind for hours now, making more sleep for himself nothing but a wishful pipe dream. As much as he wanted to find Rick and the others alive, he could honestly say that he wasn't particularly looking forward to going there. Merle had made the place sound like a damn near impenetrable fortress, one that was likely going to be a bitch to get into. With neither himself or Beth in the best of fighting shape, tackling it was going to be dangerous to say the least. He could only hope that they both had enough left within themselves to handle it.
With the tip of his cigarette burning away unheeded, he glanced down as Beth shifted in her sleep against him. Her arm was draped across his chest and she hummed in contentment before moving no more. Daryl released a troubled sigh from under his breath, unable to help himself. She was the other reason why he'd been laying there awake stewing about shit he'd been more than happy to put off thinking about. For months now the two of them had been on a path that there was no coming back from and he was finally being honest with himself enough to admit it. What was going to happen to them if Rick and the others actually were at Terminus? How was he going to handle that? What would they think about the two of them being together? Why the fuck did he care?
With his mind firing away on all cylinders about it, Daryl carefully eased himself out from under the tangle of her limbs, reckoning that he had lain there long enough in an effort to postpone the inevitable. He pushed himself from the bed and took a moment to stretch out the kinks before getting himself dressed. Slinging the Horton over his shoulder, he looked back over to where Beth was still curled up asleep under the covers. If his game plan was for her to make it through the day in one piece, she was probably going to need all the rest he could give her. Besides, there was no reason why they should both be up and worrying about everything, not when he was doing a fine job of it all on his own.
Daryl swung himself down the barn ladder and determinedly went outside. Breathing deeply at the cool morning air, he couldn't help but feel a hell of a lot better for being removed from his own stagnant mentality.
Fuck it… any problems that could come up at Terminus were going to happen one way or the other… with or without him pointlessly giving himself an ulcer about them. He could try and anticipate the outcome all he wanted, but he knew better than anyone that the unnecessary stress he was putting himself under wasn't likely to change a goddamn thing. Him and Beth were just going to have to get it done, preferably as quickly and as quietly as possible. They'd scope the place out, go in by the numbers and hope that it wasn't remotely as bad as his brother made it out to be.
If the others were there… well, he'd just have to cross that troubling bridge when he came to it. He had never been one to give much credence to other peoples opinions anyway so why start now. What he had with Beth was his business and he owed it to both himself and to her to hold true to it as such. Yeah, Rick was going to have plenty to say about it, Maggie even more so… but the way he figured, that was their problem to deal with, not his. Beth belonged to him and anyone who tried to tell him differently was going to have a fucking issue on their hands.
Feeling more resolved about it than he had all morning, Daryl instantly felt the gut instincts he needed to rely upon fire up under his skin. They eased the turmoil of his thoughts while giving him back his determination to see these matters through. The natural tendencies were quick to remind him of just who it was that all these people were about to be fucking with. He just may be beat up, but that didn't mean that he didn't know what he was doing. Having been through hell since leaving the prison, he reckoned that nothing waiting for him at Terminus could possibly be any worse.
The broad set of his shoulders locked down on his frame accordingly and he pulled the crossbow from his back to head out into the nearest field. With all of his senses recalibrating back on point, he decided to take advantage of it by hunting something down for breakfast. Helping immensely was the fact that he had slept like the dead, at least for the few hours he had managed to get in. The sex he'd had with Beth had depleted what was left of his reserve enough to demand it, physically draining him to the point where he could barely move. His body needing the release, it went without saying that he didn't regret a single damn thing about it. If anything, the events of the night had only served to remind him of just what it was he was willing to try and fight for - a slim chance at happiness that he had never deemed himself worthy of.
Daryl thought back on their time together as he traipsed across the terrain, able to actually do so now that he had cleared his own mind enough to allow such a thing to happen.
It hadn't been his plan to make love to her a second time but the allure she had presented had put the matter beyond his control. The naked expanses of her skin had seared against his own and he had woken up with his body on fire, the insistent need to be inside her again spurring him on like a damn near tangible force. Figuring that it might be the last time the two of them would be alone together for a while, he had been quick to take advantage of it... purposely dragging his tongue between her shoulder blades until it induced the breathtaking reaction that he was looking for.
Beth had responded just as he knew she would, waking up to not question his motives as she pressed herself to him eagerly. Taking the time that the fervency of their initial encounter hadn't allowed for, he had stroked her all over… his mouth purposely following his fingers as both trailed a heated path down her body. He had explored every curve until it was all but etched into his memory, using the light of the moon to guide his way. Whispering his intentions against her skin, it wasn't until she was writhing beneath him that he finally locked himself snugly to her, marveling yet again that it was him of all people that actually got to do so.
The notion being far more than he had ever dared to dream for himself, he had found himself faltering accordingly. He distinctly remembered feeling equal parts amazed and somewhat terrified as his heart had lurched painfully in his chest. By this point the girl should've realized what she had gotten herself into and had concluded that he wasn't worth the effort... God knows less inclined people had done so with a hell of a lot more incentive from him to work with. An emotionally stunted asshole with the social skills to match, why she would want to be with the likes of him was suddenly beyond comprehension. It just didn't make sense…
Lost in a depreciating sea of self doubt, he had looked down to see her staring up at him unwaveringly, the soft hold of her gaze lucid and clear. As if knowing his mind, she had surged up against him… whispering words of love at his ear that had reassuringly drawn him back to her shore.
Grateful more than he could begin to say to hear them, he had pressed her into the blankets, doing so as if somehow needing her to prove it. With her legs wrapping tightly around his waist, he had ridden her hard… immersing himself deep within her in more ways than just physically. She had panted heavily from beneath him but hadn't held back, urging him on until she reached her cusp all by herself. With all that was left of it still clenching at him in spasms, he had quickly pulled out… grunting in determination as he finished himself all over the flat plain of her belly. The indent of her hip had collected the remnants as he had collapsed down at her side, dizzy and out of breath yet again from the intrinsic effort the endeavor required.
After a quick clean up they had both fallen back asleep, nothing more being said between them for fear of breaking the quiet moment. It was almost like they both knew that their time here was coming to an end and they wanted to extract as much from it as they could. He had settled himself behind her to bury his face in her hair, his arm tucking itself around her like it was its sole purpose in life. She had sighed contentedly against him and that had been the end of it... at least until he woken up this morning with his mind spinning out of control for no damn good reason.
A rabbit suddenly darted across Daryl's path to bring him back to the moment and he set the Horton against his cheek to take it down easily enough. Skinning it right then and there, he took it back to the barn, the grumbling of his belly reminding him that he hadn't actually eaten much last night. He restarted the fire and put the meat on the spit, letting it cook there while he prepped the bike and the few weapons that they had between them for the trip ahead. His mind clear about it, he did so methodically, ready to get on with the endeavor so he could see just what the hell it was the two of them were dealing with and if it would be worth the risk they'd need to take in the end.
The barn door creaked open and he glanced up to see Beth venturing outside. Stifling a yawn, she squinted against the morning sun before holding a hand up to her eyes so she could look around for him. Even from the other side of camp he could see that she was dressed in a pair of faded blue jeans that fit her like a glove and a long sleeved grey t-shirt. The contrast of the dark fabric to the wispy pale length of her hair caught his attention and wouldn't let go, even when she dropped her gaze self consciously under the intense weight of his regard. Upon realizing the he was staring like a fucking idiot, Daryl got back to dutifully turning the meat, not daring to look up again even when she purposely sat down next to him. Christ sakes, this ain't high school… get ya shit together.
''I think I have hay stuck in places I don't want to think about.'' She said shyly, completely aware of the awkwardness of the brief interaction due to his own inherent inability to hide it.
Daryl found himself mumbling something unintelligible for lack of anything else better to say and he pressed a finger to the fattest piece of meat to check if it was done. As the grease sizzled into the flames beneath it Beth sniffed back a laugh, seemingly unable to help herself. He looked over at the sound of it, feeling exposed enough for his frame to lock down defensively on itself for reasons he couldn't quite explain.
''What?'' He asked, his brows drawn.
''You, that's what.'' She smiled. ''Do you think at some point we could maybe wake up the next day and not have it feel like we just disappointed our parents? Seriously Daryl, you can barely look at me sideways!''
Coming to the resigned conclusion that he might not be so hard to decipher after all, Daryl just pulled a piece of the rabbit from the fire and blew on it before holding it out to her. ''Only thing I've been doin' since I got here is look at ya, jus' tryin' not ta make it so damn obvious, is all. 'Sides, don't see why it matters much anyways… ain't like neither one of us has got parents left ta disappoint. Hell, even if we did, fairly sure mine wouldn't give much of a shit. Ya dad on tha other hand...''
He let the connotation linger on the air, not wanting to speculate on what Hershel would think. If the man had been in a grave somewhere, he'd likely be rolling in it knowing what the two of them were up to.
''You'd think that but who can really say. You wouldn't know it but my daddy changed a lot after the farm fell… I think it opened his eyes to how life outside our fences really was.'' With the meat between her fingertips still too hot to handle, she blew on it herself, seemingly unphased by the heavy topic of the conversation. ''After my mom died, he had blinders on to the world. I don't fault him for that. He probably would've preferred to stay that way, at least until you and the rest of the group came along.''
''Yeah… well, that's us," Daryl sniffed regrettably, "… a walkin' dose of reality that no one fuckin' asks for. Everywhere we go, shit happens an' it ain't never a matter of 'if', it's more like 'when'. Tha camp in Atlanta, ya farm... tha prison… hell, probably this Terminus place if we hang 'round it long enough. It never takes long before shit blows up in our faces an' we're left barely makin' it out alive. Maybe us showing up on ya doorstep was jus' tha start of that, who knows... maybe ya dad would still be alive right now if we hadn't come traipsing up ya driveway.''
Daryl glanced over to see her staring down at the fire lost in thought about it, kind of wishing in hindsight that he hadn't gotten so uncharacteristically speculative. It wasn't usually in his nature to wax on such things, mostly because the people around him tended to do plenty of that all by themselves. It was the uneasy feeling he still had about Terminus that had compelled him to say it, if only because its potential for disaster was still weighing upon him more so than he personally wanted to admit.
Beth pulled an introspective breath and wrapped her arms around her knees. "You know what? I don't regret any of you coming to our farm that day… even after everything thats happened since. My dad wouldn't either. He was on a downward spiral and something needed to pull him out of it. Rick… Lori… Andrea… all of you became like family to us… a family we hadn't even known that we needed. We wouldn't have made it off the farm without you."
Daryl just shrugged as though what was being said was of little consolation. Upon realizing how dour the action seemed, he schooled his features and sighed. "Don't mind me. Ever since tha prison, it's jus' easier ta assume tha worst. Least that way when it happens, ya not disappointed."
With an understanding smile, she held him softly in her gaze. "I wouldn't be disappointed either way, even with things as uncertain as they are. You can only do what you can do and hope for the best. I'm saying that as someone who had to learn that lesson the hard way. If anything, I'm proud of how far I've come since the prison fell… I have you to thank for that."
"… and Rick." Daryl amended gruffly, the unexpected gratitude causing him to shift around in his seat uncomfortably.
"No… just you. You could have left me behind when the prison got overrun but you stayed despite the fact that you probably didn't want to. You taught me everything I know. Believe me, it hasn't always easy… with you nothing is… but I wouldn't change a single thing about it." She looked back over at him to add sincerely, "Because of you I know more about myself now than I ever thought I could. That's why I don't regret your group coming to our farm that day… because you came with them."
Left staring at her, Daryl swallowed hard at his own uncertainty as he wondered yet again how it was possible that she always knew the right thing to say. His chest tightened accordingly, bringing him back to the moment as it constricted against his ribs. It was then that he realized that he could handle Terminus and any other damn thing that came his way, just as long as she was right there facing it with him. Finding a safe haven so long ago hadn't been the only thing that had made going to the Greene farm that day worthwhile for him.
He leaned in to kiss her, his mouth finding hers before he even knew he intended it on doing so. Beth sighed appreciatively against him as her lips molded themselves softly to his. Lingering there for a moment, he drew away to leave the girl staring at him wide-eyed. He smirked in recognition of it, reckoning that the impromptu gesture had probably just shocked the hell out of her.
"What?" It was her turn to ask in confusion.
"Nothin'," He chuckled, standing up so he could kick some dirt over the fire in front of them. "Jus' nice ta see that I'm not tha only one that can get thrown off 'round here. Maybe If I kissed ya more often, ya wouldn't always look so damn stunned by it."
A stain of color flushed her cheeks. "You can kiss me whenever you want. Just don't be surprised if you get the same reaction because I think I'm starting to like it way too much."
Smiling, Daryl let the subject drop and went over to where the bike was parked nearby. He pulled a small bundle from the saddlebag strapped to its rear, unwrapping it carefully before coming back over to hand its content to her.
Beth gasped as she reached up to take her knife from him. "Oh my god! I thought it was lost forever! Where'd you find it?"
"In Len's room while I was digging 'round lookin' for my bolts." He said, shoving the rag into his pocket, "Bastard left it sitting on his side table. Forgot I had it until right now. Anyways, figured ya might want it… ya know… before we head out today."
Upon being reminded of the dangerous aspect of the endeavor ahead of them, Beth nodded resignedly in recognition of it. It hadn't been his intention to bring the reality of the situation back so abruptly but it couldn't be helped. They had already stayed here longer than he planned. As if sensing that their time here was coming to a close, she stood up to situate the knife holster firmly at her hip.
"How are we doing this?" She asked determinedly.
Daryl looked over, appreciating her willful tenacity. The girl never ceased to surprise him.
Reaching down to where the Horton was still propped against the bale of hay they had just vacated, he picked it up and situated it over his shoulder. "Not sure… least not yet anyways. We'll scope tha place out an' figure it out from there. If we're lucky, we'll get a clear view of jus' what it is we're dealin' with so we know what to expect. I ain't planning on takin' a chance with ya safety or my own jus' because tha sign on tha door says it's a sanctuary an' we should knock for a warm reception. Goin' in under tha radar is tha only way we're goin' in."
Beth glanced over at him, "What if Rick and the others are there?"
"We give 'em what they need to bust out an' then help 'em do so… if they're there that is." He shrugged, his tone unwittingly dubious.
She put her hand reassuringly on his arm. "They are. You just gotta have a little faith."
Daryl just nodded solemnly before saying that it was time to go. He was all about having faith but he reckoned that the chances of them finding anyone at Terminus alive were practically slim to none. It had been months after all and Merle made the place sound like it was a death trap that lured people to its front gates under the ruse of being a haven of some kind only to never have them be seen again. Truth be told he almost hoped that Rick and the others weren't there, if only so he could continue believing that they were hunkered down somewhere else a hell of a lot safer. It also went without saying that not finding anyone there would also mean that neither him or Beth would have to risk their lives unnecessarily. There'd be no reason for them to break into Terminus if there wasn't a damn single person there even remotely worth rescuing.
After packing away the blankets and the last of the things they used back on the bike, both of them sat themselves upon it and looked back over at the barn.
"Is it wrong that I wish we could stay here?" Beth said wistfully, laying her cheek against the embroidered wings on his vest. "Just you and me…"
Worrying at his lower lip, Daryl didn't respond. He knew no good could come from such wishful thinking. As much as their time here meant something to him, it also made him realize that they both deserved more… a life more substantial than the threadbare one they were living. It was only at this moment that he was daring to acknowledge it. The two of them couldn't go on like this, not indefinitely anyways… barely scraping by… always on the run. If they were going to have a chance, he needed to find them a safer place to live, somewhere they could actually do so rather than to just continue on with this mindless surviving.
Giving the hand she had at his waist a reassuring squeeze, Daryl started the Triumph up… revving the engine a few times to get it warmed up. As far as he was concerned, the situation at Terminus was a last shot deal for them. If Rick and the others weren't there, he was going to try and convince Beth to come away with him, somewhere up in the Blue Ridge Mountains. The high altitude was enough to keep the walkers at bay and at least there he could carve a life out for the two of them far away from all of this madness. It would mean leaving thoughts of her sister behind but to him it was worth it.
They couldn't continue doing this anymore.
…..
Thank you for your ongoing support of this story, as always I appreciate it more than I can say.
I had a great response for Chapter 56 so thanks to all that dropped me a note about it. Writing a sex scene that's intimate but still stays true to the characters is fairly hard so I'm fortunate that I really like the challenge of doing it and my readers seem to really love them. It's all been worth it! I am currently working on Chapter 61 and am (don't freak out!) steadily working towards what may be the end of this story. I still have a lot to do before that point so no need to worry about it just yet. "What Still Lies Ahead" still has a lot left to offer and I have yet to figure out all the things that I want to resolve first (trust me, I know what they are!). I'm hoping to hit a lot more reviews before all that happens so keep them coming and thanks again for reading!