A/N: I will stop saying what things are going to happen in the next chapter. I always fail to comply and it is sort of embarrassing.

Thanks for the comments!

Militares Sintéticos

Capítulo 15 – Eu não quero morrer

The Allen Walker pretender had been an annoyance, yes. He had been bringing up memories Nea would rather not dwell on, making the world reminisce and proclaim things the Noah couldn't ignore. But in the end, if Nea controlled himself properly, he could remove his focus from this mystery person's exploits and have them as nothing more than ignorable background noise in the very corner of his mind.

This, however, was too much.

It had been just a few days ago. A certain city had suffered an invasion by an exorcist. That by itself was relevant enough, but the specific city was what truly bothered him. It had been one of those important enough in his life and that of Allen's, so he had felt like checking the situation, and why not? He had certainly been in there enough times as to be able to easily open a door to it.

Stepping in tall, uncared for grass just a few seconds after making his decision, he stared at the area around him – buildings in decadence, streets barely visible and wild nature everywhere, that didn't hold any of the freshness inherent to most greenery, exhaling instead something very alike musty, old decay. It was funny, the effect Mana's disgusting creations could have in an area even years after touching it.

And still, he was ever so fond of the area. Was it cruel of him to care for a place that had been the home of torment and suffering to his young charge so long ago?

The rogue exorcist hadn't even managed to enter, his source said, but he still felt an itch. Years ago, in a bout of sentimentality, Nea had left one of his most prized possessions inside this very grove. It had been long ago, and felt somehow right. Allen had been so terribly fond of the playful little golem, he remembered. Actually, it had been one of the important keys in the development of their… relationship.

Nea had always meant to leave it to Allen, but then the boy died and there was no known grave. No matter what he did, Nea could never find the place where the body had been put to rest, and eventually he did what he thought as substitute for going to Allen's grave – he left the golem dormant at a place that had been part of the starting point of Allen's story.

With the recent invasion and the subsequent paranoia that threatened a whole investigation in the place, including this very grove, Nea finally understood how foolish his action had been. He would be damned if he allowed one of his first creations to be taken by the Order of all people. That would actually be a great insult to Allen's memory – allowing the boy's nemesis to get their hands into the small thing he had declared his friend.

Entering the tent but paying it no mind, as he had enough recollections for hopefully a long time, he went towards the box he had once closed himself, ready to take the golden golem from the middle of the fabrics he had carefully nested it in.

When he saw not only the box open, but the fabrics, now old and dusty, strewn aside, he knew something had gone very wrong.

Calm now gone, he immediately tore the box apart but, as he had suspected, there was nothing left but old circus rubbish. He then proceeded to inspect the whole tent, but it was for naught. Timcanpy was nowhere to be found, and the place had clearly been messed with recently. It had to be so; Tim would never wake up from the programmed slumber if not touched by one of his masters.

"Fuck," he cursed uncharacteristically, kicking a large ball nearby. He heard the rogue exorcist never managed to enter, but that was clearly not the case. Who was he? Who was this person playing Allen so well to the point of knowing this place, of knowing Timcanpy?

"Marian… curse you, if you are messing with me…" he threatened the redhead, but knew it couldn't be Cross. The man had no time nor reason to do any such thing.

Nea let out a tired breath. Forget it. He had wanted to ignore the impostor, but that had been far too much. He'd discover who it was – not Allen, he hadn't grown desperate enough to believe that – and understand exactly how and why he had so much knowledge, before the Noah would put an end to him.

·÷±‡±±‡±÷·

Having enough data to calculate a route through which Order caravans would hardly pass, they finally left their spot in the forest, this time going East. Leaving the forest near the city meant also the near end of their uncomfortable food restrictions. The fact that Kanda had fought in an attempt to infiltrate the walls and had revealed himself as an exorcist only served to make their travel hasty, creating distance between themselves and the place of the battle hurriedly.

They had told the others they had, during Allen's fatidic 'stroll', decided to invade the city all of a sudden. Though the story had been improvised the moment they were asked, it wasn't nonsensical; in their world, they would frequently choose to take an action when an opportunity arose, lest it didn't appear again. It was also believable considering Allen's backpack, filled with useful goods as it was, and since invading a city was exceedingly difficult it made sense Kanda would some day fail in stealth and engage in combat. His clothes certainly reaffirmed his tale.

They now travelled in a line, Allen guiding them and Kanda right behind. The rabbit was the third of their procession, but was so silent it was the same as if he wasn't there. All the better, though Kanda irritably. These past days, he had been absolutely intolerant of any of the idiot's drivel.

It was the third day of their journey and there had been five encounters with Akuma – and Allen, for some reason, had insisted on killing them all by himself. The sky started darkening and their pace slowed. The white haired boy eventually stopped, thus interrupting their walk.

"It is good if we stop here, don't you think?" asked he, but it didn't seem like a question as he had already started to set things down. "The point is high enough that we can easily see any sizeable forces approaching, but the greenery does a decent job of hiding us. It is a full moon and the climate is quite decent, so I doubt we will need to light a fire, too."

"Let's light one anyway. It will attract Akuma and we'll do a cleaning in the area."

"No way, Lavi," protested Laboun. "We are all tired. Nothing of that today."

Lenalee, Kanda and Allen weren't truly tired, she because of activating her Innocence whenever travel was needed in order to work as an scout and also preserve physical strength. Kanda and Allen had improved bodies, and Lavi was just strange. The others, however, were exhausted because of their pace.

Kanda observed the exorcists as they readied their sleeping places, some not even bothering to set tents. He also paid close attention to Allen, who had merely picked a square of terrain to call his own and had his backpack, now lighter, readied on his back once more. His eyes narrowed. Ever since the incident, he hadn't left Allen truly alone even for a moment, only keeping a short distance when the boy needed privacy. How could he leave the Allen by himself, when the younger looking exorcist could simply decide to wander off at a whim, uncaring of promises and his own safety?

The worst thing was also Allen's reaction to the whole affair. Allen seemed somewhat pressured by Kanda's admittedly overbearing surveillance, but he hadn't truly complained even once, his objections voiced as nothing more than feeble, halfhearted protests. Kanda could still remember wanting to beat the boy up back in that riverbank, so infuriated he now could admit he had been a risk to Allen's wellbeing, too.

After Allen had disappeared, Kanda had been an absolute mess out there. It took him only a few seconds of staring at the walls uselessly before he started freaking out. Allen's invasion of a city would hardly trouble him in a normal occasion, but the white haired exorcist was clearly out of his mind. Kanda could remember his uncharacteristically uncertain walking, his confused turns and mumblings to himself, not to mention the unusual lies. For all he had known, Allen had gone and walked to the guards without a care, and the many possible scenarios troubled him in more ways than he could admit.

So he had decided to enter the city, too. And, in retrospect, he should have known his attempt had been doomed to be a failure, but how could he have known Allen would return, unharmed and merry, just the other day?

An infiltration was a careful plan composed of previous data gathered about the city, close observation some days prior and a drawn schedule. He hadn't even managed to step inside the damned borders before sorcerers and Order exorcists rained upon him, starting a battle that, for a moment, he thought he wouldn't be able to leave alive. The other problem was that he didn't want to actually flee, considering Allen was still there, and thus avoided most of the chances he had. It was only after realizing the situation was too much even for him that Kanda drew back, running in an mortifying escapade from his pursuers. Deep wounds took long to heal, and he was eventually found in the border once more by a scouting team, the ensuing fight resulting in his victory but also the pitiful state in which an unscathed Allen found him. And to think the boy had the gall to be surprised at his furious reaction!

But that was it – that surprise. It was genuine, not a pretense to calm him down. Kanda wasn't perceptive of other people's emotions and wishes, nor was he interested to be, but if there was one thing he knew, it was when Allen was being genuine. That was because of the time when they were children, he was sure. Allen had grown, but he had always carried a part of the young boy he had been back then… and because Allen was always sincere to Kanda, the Japanese had taken that for granted. But when Allen lied or tried to hide things from him, it was as if that… cleaner part of his nature disappeared. After Allen woke up, for a minute or so, it had been as if it had completely disappeared, though he hadn't been able to identify that back then.

Allen remained like that even as he smiled and reassured everyone, and that was why Kanda insisted in following him and see what was happening. But in the river, when they met once again… Allen all but shone with his usual self. And Kanda was still angry, still wanted to beat him to a sorry pulp… but also felt some relief.

Allen hadn't changed back to that disturbing, slightly unhinged behavior of before, ever since then. But Kanda still watched him closely, even to the point of unpracticalness. One could perhaps question his decision but, when it was all said and done, Kanda had joined the group so he could help Allen out.

And if he had to babysit the beansprout through his temporary insanity, thought he as the object of his thoughts suspiciously distanced himself from the group, then so be it.

·÷±‡±±‡±÷·

"Let's stop here, it is a good place to rest. I'll just take a bath nearby," declared Allen with what hopefully passed as a convincing smile, as he slowly distanced himself from the others, "but I will be back soon."

"Don't worry," said Yuu with a large and slightly psychotic smile. "I'll make sure you do."

"I… see."

The others, having gotten used to this sort of interaction, respectfully refrained from commenting. Allen made his way to the waterfall close by, Yuu resuming his surveillance and watching Allen very closely, as he'd been doing lately.

All the time.

All. The. Time.

"You can't really mean to keep staring at me like that as I… as I…"

Yuu's eyes narrowed, dark gaze displaying no hint of mercy. "I can, and I will. There's nothing there I haven't seen before, anyway. On with it!"

"But it's creepy to have a bath with you glaring at me as if wanting me dead!" exclaimed Allen in embarrassment. Should he just return to the others and deal with the fact that he'd need to bask in his own filth from now on?

Yuu grumbled something unintelligible before leaning against a tree, his back to Allen and the cascade of water. "Fine, you don't need to worry for your chastity. Just don't wander, understood? I can hear you, and if you even think about leaving –"

"I won't!" exclaimed Allen, wanting just to bury himself and die. Yuu had been so horribly mad and paranoid ever since Allen left, scrutinizing the boy's every movement as one would while guarding a particularly treacherous prisoner. Just yesterday, Allen had been watching the twilight and Yuu acerbically asked whether he was planning his next escape route, and don't let him even mention when night came and Allen mentioned that perhaps they should remain sleeping in different barracks.

Allen loved Yuu. Deeply.

But this was getting to be a bit too much.

…and worse yet, Allen couldn't really blame him.

He started undressing, piling the clothes neatly in the waterside and entering the water. Delighted at the freshness after a long travel, he picked his bathroom utensils and started scrubbing. A new bar of soap was one of his newly bought items, and he happily indulged in the luxury of taking a semi proper bath. Washing his hair and rinsing, he took note of Yuu's unmoving figure, still with his back to him as promised. A small smiled curved Allen's mouth, the first sincere one of the day. Yes, Yuu was being overbearing, but… Allen didn't know how he would deal with being alone. Yes, his friend didn't know what was happening, but having the constant watch did make him feel a little better, because he needed it right now. Yuu was there to make sure he would be fine. He glanced once more at his companion with affection, hoping the problems would be over soon and he would be able to thank him properly.

Something shifted in his peripheral vision and he tensed, carefully keeping his movements normal as to not alert whoever it was… it if was a person, that is. Allen knew it couldn't be Akuma, since his eye would have detected it, but people could be as dangerous as the demons, sometimes.

To his surprise, however, the movement was coming from his backpack, and he had two seconds to wonder whether it was a squirrel or some other animal looking for food, when he remembered what that meant and his heart sank.

The golem.

Allen had tied it down, tried to cut it from transmitting signals, but he should've known better than to just forget to check it eventually. It was as if he had hoped for an ignored problem to disappear, and that was incredibly foolish of him. He watched, tense, as the backpack moved once more. Perhaps it would stay there. Perhaps it would…

It left the bag, surprisingly silent. Stretching cramped looking wings and baring its teeth at him, the thing proceeded to fly away, and Allen wanted to just ignore it and let it go...

But he couldn't. The golem could have recorded many things about him already. There were only two choices, keep it or destroy it, and the latter option still bothered him intensely. He stared at Yuu, who had yet to see a thing. No way… he couldn't let him know. The taller man was pretty pragmatic, and wouldn't allow Allen to risk their safety by keeping a communication device of unknown origins. And that would be absolutely reasonable of him, too, which meant there would be no arguing against it. Worst yet, Yuu would be horribly mad when he discovered Allen had been hiding the golem from him. And considering how incensed the Japanese had already been this whole time… no, that wouldn't do at all.

Yuu's back was turned to him. Surely if he slowly left the water and left stealthily enough, the man would be none the wiser? Allen had many faults, but he could be very sneaky when it was needed, and the waterfall's noise would mask his own.

Making up his mind even as a part of him screamed idiot, idiot with insistence in his mind, he left the water without making much noise, slowly put on his underwear and trousers and started making his way to the golem that had already disappeared in the greenery.

He felt very much like a child guiltily trying to correct his mistakes before they were known by his caretaker, he realized in embarrassment as he picked the pace up after being far away enough so as not be heard by Yuu. Now where was the golem? If it vanished, Allen would have to pursue it no matter what, and he couldn't disappear once more without being sliced in neat, tiny meat cubes by a certain samurai who could express his care in very… unorthodox ways.

After a minute of looking for the golem, Allen stopped, shoulders sagging with resignation. That was it – he had messed up. The golem would be long gone and impossible to find, and he had to return very soon or Yuu would realize his bath was taking far too long. He wouldn't make the mistake of before and disappear for hours, no matter how important the golem was. Perhaps he should explain his foolish mistake to everyone, or at the very least Yuu, so he could have some help in the search even if the prospects were dire. Just as he was ready to turn back, however, he saw a flash of gold.

To his surprise, the golem was quite close to him – hiding behind one of the trees, it seemed to lighten up at seeing Allen and quickly floated in his direction, but just out of his hand's reach. It then started flying away once more.

Was it… taunting him?

"No way," grumbled Allen, decided to end this for once and all. He was not in the mood to play. Allen was agile and precise; now that the golem had been seen, it had no chance. And it was with this overconfidence that he performed an impressive jump, quickly closing the distance between them and grabbed the golem with his white hand.

"OUCH!" He screamed, blood dripping from the little ball's vicious bite. He stared incredulously at it and readied himself to use his Innocence, but then it floated to a rock in front of him, settling itself atop of it and opening its impressively large, fang-filled mouth.

For a short, silly moment, Allen expected some sort of mortal bean of destruction to fire and obliterate him. Instead of that, however, light shone from the mouth like it would from a flashlight, before it settled in the air as if hitting an invisible wall and condensed into the form of a person.

Any thoughts of capturing the golem flew from his mind, and Allen fell to his knees before the projection in front of him.

·÷±‡±±‡±÷·

Kanda waited as the seconds passed. Once upon a time, he didn't like being still. The lack of activity made him think, and there were few good things to think about, and many unpleasant ones. Allen had taught him to be a somewhat patient person, however. Ever since they found each other, Kanda would sit in silence and sip from the cheap, trashy tea Allen liked to prepare and describe as excellent beverage. He would listen to the tales of the many things the boy had done, at first alone and then with his companions that he found one by one all by himself. Kanda then would tell about his own, like Allen liked to say, 'adventures', and with these pieces of information they shared at every opportunity they grew to overcome the barrier time had created, understanding the changes life had forced in each of them.

Then the method of finding and studying memories started, the process of trying to find his past self. He still remembered Allen's strong reluctance at teaching him, but there was nothing but positive things coming from then on. Kanda didn't care if he had a tragic past. It probably was, considering the Order bothered to keep him alive. So he was surprised to find good things, pleasant even, in the patches of the large fabric that composed his history. He performed the process whenever life allowed it, and started building enough as to truly fuel his desire to unravel it all. Allen had his mission from the past to guide him, and Kanda also wanted to continue from wherever he stopped who knows how many years ago.

So, basically, it all brought him a healthy habit of meditation and patience, even if he didn't care to apply the results in his interactions with the other exorcists. That's why he was calm and silent as he waited for Allen to finish his bath. The boy had been the only one to fight in the travel, so it was natural he would want to freshen up, and he had been behaving normally enough that Kanda could, perhaps, loosen the leash he had on him, as the saying goes.

Still, the boy was taking a damn long time, and he worried.

"Are you hurt?" he finally asked. He had gotten used to the fact that Allen basically didn't have a seal anymore, only an ugly tattoo made of bad memories. "Because you sure are taking damn long."

The waterfall's noise was the only answer he got, and he frowned, thoughts of peace and tolerance and other diplomatic gibberish quickly banishing from his mind. "Allen?"

Nothing.

"Oh no. Oh, no, you didn't," he whispered threateningly, before turning to the water and realizing that yes, Allen did.

I will catch you, he swore to himself, to Allen and to whatever gods were watching him now, break your legs, tie you to a stretcher, then drag you around. The others shouldn't care, as long as you are alive.

This must be how the parents of an impossible child must feel, he thought furiously. This enormous desire to strangle and protect at the same time, and why not do both? Where in the world could Allen be? Had he disappeared as soon as Kanda turned his back, or just a while ago? Was he planning on invading a city yet again, for some unknown, unexplainable reason?

Following the direction of wet footsteps that disappeared as grass started, he readied his body for a harsh, long travel. Allen could sure disappear when he wanted to; why, if he followed the same pattern of before, he could be anywhere by now – who knew if the boy even knew what he was doing. Kanda doubted it severely.

So it was to his immense surprise that it didn't take long for his search to stop, short as it was since he found Allen only three minutes after leaving. The boy was kneeling by a rock, his back to him, hair still wet by the interrupted bath, and Kanda's righteous fury deflated as soon as he noticed his shaking form.

"Allen?" he called in a tone softer than he expected to ever manage. The boy flinched, before turning to him in a movement so fast he stumbled and had to put a hand in the ground to steady himself. He then raised his eyes, wide and filled with fear, and Kanda ran towards him, kneeling in front of the white haired exorcist and holding one of his shoulders, the other hand running through the colorless strands. "What happened?" he prodded tentatively.

Allen was bare waist up, and his hands clenched something yellow between them. The normal hand was bloodied, skin torn in a bite mark.

"What is it?" asked Kanda, trying to pluck it from Allen's hand and hoping it would be a clue to whatever in the world was happening. Allen winced instead, grabbing the thing closer and clutching it to his chest, not allowing the other exorcist even a peek. Kanda was extremely disturbed by now, but tried to hide it.

Showing his own anxiety wouldn't help Allen, who was clearly unwell.

"What is it?" he urged gently once again, and the whole scene reminded him so much of Allen's first weeks as a scared, hurt child unable of proper speech that it hurt. "What is bothering you?"

Allen took shaky breaths, and Kanda knew better than to urge. They were alone. They had time, even if he felt the urge to rip every ounce of truth from the boy immediately. He would wait.

Turns out it didn't take so long, however, before Allen looked up at him once more, desperation now more subdued into sorrow.

"He is…" whispered Allen, getting Kanda's attention immediately, "he is going to kill me," he said finally, as if imparting a secret he had been holding for a very, very long time.

Perhaps he had been.

"Who?" demanded Kanda, because he didn't care who it was, he would end him. The samurai didn't even consider that someone dangerous enough as to put Allen in such a worrisome state of mind must be incredibly powerful; he would find this source of Allen's problems and destroy him, whoever it was. "Tell me," he growled. "Who is it?"

Allen opened his mouth and the name left it with equal amounts of fear and certainty, "Allen Walker."

·÷±‡±±‡±÷·