"Stop it already." I scold Nathan, who continues to snap pictures of me despite my warnings.
"Lighten up." he rolls his eyes, taking a chomp out of his burger as Kim finally sits with us. "And where were you?" He asks, his eyes twinkling. Kim huffs at him, because we all know she was stuck in Biology class poking at dead frogs for the last hour.
"Shove it up your-" Kim is about to say but is cut off when Paul comes over to our table, his big form casting a shadow over us. It was like he was tree. Like I could open up a book and relax in the shade of his giant body.
I meet his eyes, and he just stares at me for a minute, as if he doesn't know what to do, or say. "Nice face." He finally says, and moves on his way to his table of hooligans.
"Honestly," Nathan is saying, though my eyes linger too long after Paul, "I don't know why you didn't just come out and tell the truth."
"I couldn't do that his reputation is everything." I say, and as I say it I realize it's true. Without his reputation, who was he? Just another kid. Did he even have any real friends? Ones that knew everything about him? Did he really know any of them? Did he really know anyone? "Besides, who would believe the truth?" I roll my eyes. Paul was insufferable. He made me want to rip my hair out, and give out condoms to every girl in the school as a precaution, but at the same time I sort of pitied him, I suppose. The curse of being a girl, I'm sure. Damn hormones.
"Ah."
My head snaps to Nathan who's head is bent over his food, his thumbs pressing into his eyes. This was happening a lot with him lately. Hot flashes, head aches, dizziness. I tried pin pointing it to one thing in specific, but all I could come up with was puberty, which he seemed to be zooming through. He was sprouting right up, becoming buffer, his features turning sharper right before my eyes. I had to keep lending him my dad's old clothes because he couldn't fit into his own anymore, and he was more distant lately too. He used to be the happiest person I knew. Making silly faces to make you smile, bringing me all sorts of food and movies when I was having a bad night, and knowing exactly what to say. Now he seemed wise beyond his years, less friendly towards other people. He was still happy and funny around us though, so I guess it wasn't such a big deal. But it was really creeping me out, honestly.
Kim is rubbing small circles in his back, and I realize that I should be doing the same, but instead I sit across the table from him and watch his large form shudder. "I need some air." He blurts through gritted teeth and rushes out the doors.
It's not until eighth period that I realize he's not coming back. I should bring him something like he used to do for me, I think. My parents were going to be away tonight anyway, so I might as well spend the night at his, right? I didn't actually have to be anywhere. But what if he was sick? Like really sick? I don't know how I would handle his vomiting and moaning. Well, I conclude, it never stopped him. I would have to go.
"Nah." Kim says, when I ask if she wants to join us. She'd rather sit home and stalk Jared online then actually hang out with us. Nothing was really as it was. I wasn't as close to them as I had been, but I still had them, so that would have to be enough.
I try to wait until eight before I knock at Nathan's door, but it's barely seven when I arrive. He doesn't even answer right away, it takes ten minutes of me waiting in the cold until he finally opens up and I can push myself inside. I go straight for the living room, shivering. "Ugh, it's freezing out. Anyway, I bought those hot wings you like, how're you feeling?" I say all at once, tossing the bag onto the couch, and unwrapping the scarf from my neck to go with it.
When he doesn't answer, I turn and press my hand to his head. Only then do I see the two men standing behind him. Jared sits on his step, shaking and looking bewildered. Nathan looks the same. Before I can ask what's wrong, what's going on, what the hell is happening, and why the hell Jared is in his house, the other man interrupts. He says his name is Sam, but that's as far as he gets before Nathan jumps in.
"Get out." He says to me, quickly. He sounds scared. Like he was being held hostage and if I stayed I'd get hurt as well. "Get out, we can't be friends anymore." He says again, more angry this time. His face turns red and he advances a few steps on me, making me stumble back towards his door.
"What? Nathan, you-" I find my voice, but he shots me down quickly.
"I have new friends now." He says, sounding strong and forceful and mad. Before I can think of anything to say, I'm standing outside and the door is being shut in my face.