Chapter Thirteen
Decisions
October 22nd, 2004
"Hey El?" Olivia called from the kitchen, drawing Elliot's attention away from the Sunday night football game on the television in front of him.
"Yeah?" He answered, getting up from his chair and walking into the kitchen where she was busy cooking dinner.
It was still an odd thing to see, her cooking that is, but in the time she'd spent away from the job it was one of the few hobbies she'd picked up and since she had yet to set anything on fire he was enjoying it.
"Could you run down and grab the mail? I'm still waiting for that dumb phone bill to show up so I can pay the damn thing already." She explained while stirring something in a pot that had his mouth watering just from the smell.
"Depends, what ah...what are ya making over there?" He asked, leaning his shoulder against the doorway.
She looked over her shoulder at him, grinning proudly, "Hmm, I'm not really sure, but it's one of your favorites and it will be ready by the time you get back with the mail."
He groaned, "Fine, be right back."
He heard her laugh as he left the room and chuckled himself as he was walking out of the apartment, she always did know how to get him to do something. He walked quickly down the stairs, realizing how hungry he actually was, and easily located and opened their mail box. Inside was the expected stack of bills and junk mail, but on top of the paper post was a small box addressed to him. He looked at the return address and was surprised to see his mother's name.
Elliot hadn't spoken with her in a while; she called every Christmas to talk to him and the kids, and he always got a card from her on his birthday, but never a gift. He tucked the rest of the mail under his arm and ripped the packaging tape off the small box with his other hand. He pulled the top back and his eyes immediately went wide when inside he saw the little black velvet jewelry box that had sat on his mother's dresser since he was a little boy. He knew exactly what lay hidden in the box and it suddenly made him lose his appetite.
He swallowed thickly and gently tucked the top of the box back in, exchanging it for the mail under his arm. After closing their mail slot he hurried back upstairs, knowing he'd already taken more time than was necessary to grab the mail. Olivia was putting their plates of food on the table when he walked back into the apartment and he did his best to keep the package tucked out of sight.
"See, I told you it would be ready." She smirked, reaching for the mail in his hand.
"Yep." He answered, doing his best to compose himself. "I'll be right back, gotta use the bathroom."
"Okay." She smiled, walking back into the kitchen.
Elliot hurried down the hallway and once inside their bedroom shoved the offending box in the back corner of his nightstand. He planned to look at it again after dinner and was hoping upon further inspection he would find a note from his mother with some sort of an explanation as to why she was sending this to him now. He walked into their bathroom to wash his hands so it at least sounded like he had done what he had told her and took a deep breath before walking back out to the kitchen.
Olivia had indeed fixed one of his favorites, steak and baked potatoes and as they were eating he asked her what the special occasion was.
"I know you enjoyed your birthday party on Friday, but I don't remember you eating anything because either you were talking to someone or you were too busy fuming about Tucker. So I thought I would make you a re-do birthday dinner to make up for it." She explained taking a sip of her wine.
"Thanks." He smiled appreciatively and continued to eat, but at the mention of Tucker he grew a bit angry, effectively taking his mind off the package in his nightstand.
Olivia sighed, obviously sensing his frustration and grabbed his hand, "Elliot, please don't. I know that you're angry at him just as much as I am, but at this point we can't do anything about it."
"I know." He huffed looking over at her concerned brown-eyes, "I just hate him for putting us in this position. It's Sunday and we've yet to hear anything from the Captain or Internal Affairs-"
"Which could be a good thing." She pointed out, interrupting his worried train of thought.
"Maybe." He muttered, pushing a piece of meat lazily around his plate.
"El." There was suddenly an odd tone to her voice and he looked up concerned.
"Yeah?"
"Would it be the worst thing? If we were separated I mean." She said hesitantly. "It would be different if we didn't have this, didn't have us, but we do and I honestly don't think it would be that bad. It would be an adjustment, but it would make everything easier and maybe-"
He could tell she was beginning to ramble and he squeezed her hand, "Hey, Liv?"
"Hmm?" She looked nervous and he smiled at her before he continued.
"Don't look so scared, okay?" He asked, causing her to chuckle, and then he paused for a moment. "I'm not sure that I would like being given a new partner or knowing that I wouldn't be the one to have your back, but I think you have point."
He heard her let out a sigh of relief. "We don't have to do it right away. I'm not actually too keen on the idea, I just know its probably the best thing for our careers and our relationship." She replied letting go of his hand so she could carry both of their plates into the kitchen.
He followed her with their glasses, still trying to process what they'd just agreed upon. "That's true, but that doesn't mean it won't be weird. I've grown pretty attached to my partner and I'm not sure I'll be able to give her up so easily."
"Really? What's so special about this partner of yours, might I ask?" Olivia asked smirking as she began rinsing and scrubbing their plates clean in the sink.
"Well," he began setting their glasses down on the counter before leaning against it so he could watch her face as he continued, "she is the toughest cop I've ever met. She can take any perp down, man or woman, like it was the easiest thing in the world. Sometimes she doesn't even have to use physical force, she can just get them with her cold, hard stare."
She smiled, glancing at him out of the corner of her eye, "She sounds interesting, but that can't be all."
"Oh no, I was just getting started." He grinned. "Now, even though she can be pretty tough, she also has a soft side. She can talk to victims like I've never been able to and whenever a child is involved in a case she is amazing with them. I believe that one day she will make an amazing mother, because even with everything life has dealt her I still believe that it will happen for her."
He could see a tear wind it's way out of the corner of her eye and down her cheek and he quickly brushed it away. "She always has my back and I know she always will, no matter if she is my partner in the job sense or just in life. She is beautiful on the inside and out, and her pretty brown eyes are my favorite part about her. They are so inquisitive, passionate, fiery, and loving all at once and when I look into them I am privileged to be able to see who she truly is."
Elliot pushed a piece of hair that had fallen in front of her face behind her ear, catching her attention and causing her to look at him fully as he finished. "Most of all, I am completely in love with my partner and I couldn't ever picture a day in my life that didn't have her in it."
When he was done speaking he was taken a little by surprise as she placed her hands on either side of his face and kissed him fervently. He recovered quickly from his shock and responded by kissing her hungrily and picking her up so he could carry her back to the bedroom. Their lips didn't part on the walk down the hallway but once and only for air. It was obvious to both of them that their decision made that night wasn't going to be an easy one to follow through with and making up for lost time would most likely involve the bedroom if their post-dinner-conversation activities were any inclination.
Later that night after making love not once, but twice, Elliot lay wide awake in bed as Olivia slept peacefully beside him. He studied her calm face, her soft hair, her beautiful curves, and he knew without a shadow of a doubt that the words he had spoken to her earlier were definitely true. She was the light of his life and he most certainly wouldn't be able to give her up too easily, even if he did get to have her like this. As he continued to observe her, his mind wandered back to the last thing he'd said to her, about how he could no longer picture a day in his life that didn't have her in it. It was true, absolutely true, but it also made him think about the box that was sitting in the drawer of his nightstand.
He stayed in bed a few more minutes to make sure she wasn't going to wake up any time soon, and then carefully slid out from under the covers. He slipped on his boxers and t-shirt that had been previously discarded on the floor and quietly opened the drawer beside his bed. It was dark even with the light streaming in from the windows and it took him a few minutes to locate the box in the back of the drawer. He pulled it out gingerly and crept silently out of the bedroom.
Once in the living room he sat down on the couch and placed the box on the coffee table in front of him. When he opened it he was once again met with the familiar little black box and he took it out, holding it for a moment before deciding he wasn't ready to look inside it yet and set it aside. He reached back into the bigger package and was happy when his fingers met with a folded up piece of paper. He took it out, finding his name on the front written in his mother's familiar scrawl and without wasting any time he unfolded it and began to read.
Elliot,
Happy birthday son. I am hoping this will get to you on your birthday, but I'm guessing it won't so I hope you had a wonderful day.
Now I know you're probably wondering why I've sent you your Grandmother's ring, but before we get to that I've got some questions for you young man.
When were you planning on telling me about you and your partner? I am happy for you, but as your mother I really do deserve to hear these things from you and not your daughters. The girls were over the other day to visit as you probably know, and all they could talk about was how much happier you have been since you two got together and I was embarrassed to tell them I had no idea what they were talking about. They then proceeded to tell me everything that has happened between you two in the past few months and Elliot I love my granddaughters, but when they all talk at once they can be pretty hard to understand.
Elliot laughed, knowing exactly what his mother was talking about and hoped his girls had painted the right picture about he and Olivia.
After I got them to talk one at a time they explained everything about your relationship and one particular thing made me understand why you didn't have time to call or just forgot. Elliot, I'm very, very sorry about the baby. I cannot imagine what it must have felt like to lose a child. Maureen told me that Olivia took it pretty hard, but that she is getting better now and I hope that is true.
Now from the rest of what the girls told me, I have been able to come up with some understanding of how close the two of you are and this brings us back to the subject of the ring. I know that you were always angry with me for not giving it to you when you proposed to Kathy, but if this year's events are anything to go by I think I made the right decision in keeping it. I am giving it to you now, however, because I think you've finally found the right one Elliot. She sounds amazing and if your kids love her as much as they say they do, then I'm sure I will too.
And, yes, that does mean I would like to meet her in the immediate future.
Elliot chuckled again, wiping away the tears that had fallen down his face when his mother had mentioned and been so sincere about the baby. He did hope she would be meeting Olivia in the near future, but with all the bad memories that had piled up from his childhood, he wasn't sure if it was such a good idea.
I know that you are probably not to excited about that idea, but I do want you to know that I have finally given in to what you and your brothers and sisters have been nagging me about for years. I'm seeing a psychiatrist and I'm on medication. My life has really started to level out, however late in coming that is, and I would really like to try to be more involved in your life. I know the trust will not come easily and rebuilding our relationship will take some time, but I hope you will consider letting me in. I haven't spoken to your siblings yet; I was hoping, if you agreed to it, that you might be the 'tester' so they could see I was being serious about all of this and might be willing to more readily accept everything. Obviously you can say no, and I would completely understand, but I'm hoping you won't.
Alright, I believe I have covered everything, so I'm going to wrap this letter up. I love you Elliot, and I wish the best for you and Olivia and the kids.
Hope to see you soon.
Love,
Mom
Elliot laid the letter down on the table and rested his elbows on his knees, propping his chin on his folded hands. A plea for forgiveness and the fact that she was asking him, out of all his brothers and sisters, to be the first one to try this thing out was a little overwhelming. He wanted his mother to be in his life, he had always wanted that, but like she had said, it wasn't going to be easy.
He pushed these thoughts to the back of his mind for the time being and turned his attention toward the little black jewelry box. He picked it up and opened the lid. Seeing the ring made him think back to the first memory he had of it, which was also one of the few happy memories he had of his mother.
"Elliot, come here I want to show you something." His mother's voice was coming from her bedroom and he followed it.
"What Mama?" He asked once he was standing in the doorway.
"Come here." She was sitting on the bed and she patted the spot beside her with one hand.
Elliot walked around the bed and with some help from his mother he was able to climb up onto the bed. Once he was settled she handed him a small black box.
"Open it." She whispered, smiling brightly at him.
He did as he was told and opened the box and inside he saw the most beautiful ring his little five year old eyes had ever seen. "Wow."
His mother laughed, "Yep. Do you know what that is Ellie?"
He looked up at her and then down to her left hand, pointing to it he said, "It's like the ring Daddy gave you when you got married."
"That's right, very good." She kissed his head and took the ring out of the box, holding it out in front of him. "We call these rings engagement rings, it's the gift you give to a girl who is very special to you when you ask her if she'll marry you. This was your grandmother's engagement ring, and before she went to heaven she asked me to take it and keep it for you."
"Grandma Lucy?" He asked his eyes wide.
"Yes, Grandma Lucy." She smiled. "She asked me if I could take it and keep it for you until you found the girl you wanted to marry and then you could give it to her."
"Really?" He asked, grinning his wide toothy grin at her.
"Mhmm. Do you think that sounds like a good idea?" She questioned.
"Yeah!" He answered, looking back at the shiny ring.
His mother put it carefully back in its box and reached over to set it on her dresser. "I'm going to keep it right there for you, Elliot and when you think you've found the right girl you tell me and I'll give it to you, okay?"
"Okay."
Elliot smiled, it was one of the only childhood memories he was fond of and it was an odd feeling that he was holding and looking at the very same ring. The piece of jewelry was proof that back in his grandmother's day, things had been made right. The quality of the craftsmanship of this ring had left it un-aged, even after thirty plus years of being stuck in a box. The gold band still shined like new and the blue diamond in the middle of the circle of smaller white diamonds, sparkled beautifully in the moonlight. He remembered his mother once telling him that the reason his grandmother had asked her to keep the ring for him was because the diamond was the same color blue as his eyes. He stared at the ring a while longer, but his thoughts had now shifted to the woman sleeping down the hall.
Was he ready to ask her? Did he want to dive back into this marriage thing again only a few months after his divorce? He didn't have an answer to either of those questions at the moment, but he promised himself he would figure it out soon. Regardless of his readiness he did know how he felt for her and he was planning on keeping her in his life forever, however long that may be.
A/N: Hey all! So that was a pretty fluffy chapter, but I liked it and I hope you did too.
So I've decided that I am going to set a strict every two weeks update schedule because trying to get a chapter cranked out every week isn't always possible and I always feel bad when I keep you guys waiting. This way I will have more time to write and hopefully this story will progress faster.
Alright, well thank you all for reading, reviews are greatly appreciated!
Thanks,
Katie