"Where were you?" My mom assaults me as I step through the beck door and into our kitchen. In retrospect, I probably should have been quieter, or at least tried to be sneaky about it.
"I was out with Kim." I shrug, which isn't really a lie, because I WAS out with her, just not recently. She's already ignoring me though, elbow deep in a huge bowl of cupcake batter. She owned a catering business, and she had people to do all the cooking for her, but for some reason she always took care of the baked goods section herself. I went to school for eight years to become a pastry chef, she would say, I'm not about to waste it on account of that man. By that man, she meant my father. He went to the same college, only he went for business school. He opened the catering company with my mother a couple years back and now they traveled around most of the time, going out of the state for conventions, and to cater weddings.
I liked it this way though, too much of someone got annoying, and with their busy schedule, I got a good dose of them for a few days each week.
"Come grab a spoon." She says, running her hand across her forehead and smudging flour there. I refuse though, and say I'm tired instead, before heading up to my room. Baking was my mother's therapy. Maybe it could be mine too, but I never really tried it, so instead I just strip off my clothes and curl up under the covers of my bed.
I picture Paul, sprawled out on the cliff, his eyes closed, palm facing the sky. Then I picture him standing up, walking towards the path down the hill, but he's walking to wrong way, and suddenly, he loses his balance and goes tumbling down into the darkness of the splashing waves. I shake my head of these thoughts. Why should I care anyway?
Anger surges through me when I think of Damien. He'd lied to me about the dinner, and I actually believed him. I showed up and oh God, how embarrassing. I felt my cheeks flush at the thought. They didn't seem right to me. Something was off about them. They were hiding something, I could tell. So was Nathan. What if he was dead? What if they'd gone after Jared? What if they'd killed him? What if they were trying to bury the body?
Suddenly, my skin crawls, and I feel like I'm being watched again, in the darkness of this room. When I wake the next morning, goose bumps erupt on my skin. I head to the bathroom like usual, and stare at myself in the mirror as I brush my teeth. My eyes seemed puffier than usual from sleep, my hair looked healthier today though, so I pulled it out of the pony tail and shook my head until it framed my face. Spitting out the toothpaste, I rush down the steps to my father sitting at the table. He was weird looking next to my mother. Bespectacled, and thin, and light skinned, where my mother stands reading an invitation we received in the mail, her skin dark, her body plump with too many baked goods, and her messy mop of black hair.
"Going to school in your pajamas?" My mother asks, and it takes me a minute to figure out what she's saying. She's saying I should be getting ready because I should leave for school now. She means that I don't get to use her car today, and that I will be walking. I don't argue with her though, and istead just turn back up the steps. I had too much on my mind to fight over small things. The walk would do me good anyway, I needed to stretch my legs.
I throw on a simple blue dress, because I'm feeling too lazy to struggle into jeans and pick out a nice shirt. I go out the front door now, so that I don't have to see my parents again. Like I said, I could only handle them in small doses. I start down the road towards the school. It wasn't a far one, but it was a good ten blocks that I just didn't feel like walking. I'm about three blocks into my hike when a row of cars zooms by me, the morning rush of people. I glance over at every car, wondering if I'll see Kim and catch a ride.
"Get on." A rough voice calls and I glance behind me to see Damien riding along on a motorcycle. It's not as beaten up as most of the ones around here, but it doesn't look particularly safe either. "Don't make me get off and walk all the way there with you." He urges me.
I feel my eyebrows shoot up and try to smooth out my face. "Am I going to be too heavy?" I worry, eyeing the bike.
"I've had lots of girls on here before, and nothing's ever happened to them." He says, like it's no big deal. And I wasn't a big deal, so why was I thinking he was being anything other than nice? Because you barely know him, a voice yelled at me, but I slid my leg over the seat anyway and took the helmet he offered me.
"Isn't fraternizing with the students against the rules or something?" I grin, though he can't see it. I look at his back, trying to figure out where exactly I should put my hands. He laughs out loud, and it's such a great sound that I wasn't expecting it at all. He reaches back and takes my hands, wrapping them tightly around his waist.
"Just don't let go." He says, and revs up the bike. He speeds down the road and I take a minute to think how I feel about all this. I didn't feel anything. I didn't feel giddy or butterflies or anything. Here I was, my body pressed up against this older boy's body, my hands gripping at his chest, and I didn't feel anything weird. And although I knew he was doing all this just to get a blush, or a rise out of me, it wasn't really doing anything.
I realize with a blush that I felt more girly and excited last night just laying next to Paul on the cliffs. "Chase?" Damien's voice snaps me out of my thoughts. He coughs awkwardly, and my cheeks swarm with red when I realize we've stopped yet my arms were still locked around my waist. "Not in public, Hun." He winks at me, standing up and helping me off the bike. He wears the janitor's suit the same way he wore it yesterday, and offered me one of his lollipops before popping one in his mouth.
"Thanks." I say, taking a pop, though I doubt I'll eat it. "Where's Matt?" I ask, and he frowns at me, glancing around us.
"He stayed home today we had some…things to take care of. But Tyler's here." He says with a smile, knowing I won't like that very much.
"I want to come over tonight." I say abruptly, catching his arm as he's walking away. He turns to me with one brown raised, and gives me a once over.
"Are you trying to hit on me?" He seems amused, like it would be hilarious if I was. I narrow my eyes because I most definitely am NOT hitting on ANYbody. "I don't think that's such a good idea." He says eventually, his face darkening.
"Why not?" I press. What was he hiding? What were they keeping from me? And if it was Jared's dead body, well, I should call the cops, right? But I should make sure that's the case first.
"You're a little young to be hanging around a bunch of twenty one year olds, aren't you? People will get suspicious." He tries to play the kid card, but I can tell that's not the real reason. He really needed to work on his excuses.
"Go out with me." I blurt quickly, though it's technically illegal because I wasn't eighteen yet, and I was starting to really dislike him. He found this hilarious apparently, and when his laughter died down, he met my eyes in a way that said I was too much.
"Tell you what, you and Tyler can go get dinner." He grins at my frown.
"I'll bring cupcakes over tonight." I say blandly, and push past him into the school. He follows behind me, and doesn't argue. I guess my mom's cooking finally comes in handy, especially when I remember being at their house the other day, and them having no food in the house.