Chapter Seventeen

She

January 28th, 2005

"Hey, El, it's me again." Olivia sighed and looked around the empty exam room as she spoke into the phone at her ear. "I don't know why you aren't here, this was a pretty big appointment...you know finding out the sex and all. You probably just got tied up at work or something, but it would be nice if you would call next time. I'll be by after this is over. Love you."

Olivia hit the end button and stuffed her phone back into the purse on her lap before dropping it on the floor beside the exam table. She ran one hand nervously through her hair while the other one stroked her ever growing belly. She couldn't believe he was going to miss this. It was the most important part of her pregnancy thus far, at least in her opinion, and she was suddenly doubting if she had put enough emphasis on it in the last few days.

Things had been a little more hectic than normal in the past weeks.

After announcing the pregnancy a week after the engagement Elliot's children had been staying over at the apartment more and more, for no reason other than that they wanted to be closer to their father and soon to be stepmother. And even though Olivia loved spending time with his children, it was becoming apparent to both of them that a larger living space was in order and they had begun the trying task of house hunting. However, to the surprise of both of them it had only taken one meeting with their real estate agent and three open houses to find the perfect home.

It was a beautiful, two-story, colonial style house that was the perfect size and wasn't far from Queens, making it the perfect location. Elliot hadn't been as quick to come to this conclusion as she had though.

"I think this is the one, El." Olivia said, looking around the spacious backyard.

They'd been able to tour this house privately and their realtor was currently inside pretending to be busy so she and Elliot could have some time alone to talk about the house.

"I'm not so sure." He had that contemplative wrinkle in the middle of his forehead and she almost rolled her eyes when he crossed one arm over his chest and propped his chin on the other.

"Why not?" She questioned, holding up her hand as she began to tick off the appealing aspects of the house. "There's enough room for the baby, the twins, and Kathleen to have their own rooms...although Kathleen will have to share whenever Maureen comes home from college, but that's not that big of a deal. It's only a twenty minute drive into Queens. It puts us closer to your mother. And, would you just look at this yard? Come on Elliot, what's not to love?"

He sighed and scratched his head, "Maybe you're right, but there's just one thing."

"Hmm?" She asked, snaking an arm behind his back and leaning her head against his shoulder.

"It's a pretty long commute into Manhattan." Elliot explained, looking down at her.

"You're right." She agreed, ignoring the unspoken question in his statement.

"You'd be okay driving almost an hour into work everyday?" He questioned, his gaze very skeptical.

Olivia shook her head, "No, not exactly."

"What do you mean?"

She shrugged, trying to figure out a way to explain and smiled when she suddenly got an idea. "Come here for a second."

She tugged on his arm, pulled him into the middle of the yard, and turned them both around so they were facing the house.

"I never dreamed in a million years that I would want to live this far from the city. That I would fall in love with a big house like this, that had a huge backyard and enough room for five kids." She glanced at him and it was obvious he was still confused so she turned to him and made sure his gaze was focused directly on hers. "What I'm trying to say is that I never thought I would want to do anything but be a cop and live in the city my whole life. Sure I wanted a family, but I never pictured myself living this far away from everything I've ever known."

Olivia paused and was happy to find when she looked into his eyes he seemed to be catching on. "But now I can, Elliot."

A grin broke out on his face as he finally put everything together. "You've decided to take time off from SVU."

"Yes." She confirmed with a smirk. "Nice detective work, Stabler."

He chuckled lightly and pulled her to him so that the only thing between them was her small baby bump. "I agree with you about the house, it's great, but you have to promise me that you're doing this because its what you want."

She placed a hand on the side of his face and gently pulled him down for a kiss. "I promise."

They made an offer on the house that day and it was accepted within the week. The house had been on the market for a while so the owners were quick to make everything go through as fast as possible and they would be moving into the house next week. Which was great, but also meant that any spare time they had at home was focused on the move which left little time for them to talk about anything else. Like this appointment for example.

She was sure he had sounded just as excited as she was when they had talked about it the night before. And even if she had misjudged the importance of this appointment to him she knew it wasn't like him to blow it off for no reason. He had probably caught a big case a work this morning and in all the chaos the appointment had slipped his mind. It wasn't that hard to believe, was it?

Olivia didn't like the feeling she got in the pit of her stomach as she continued to try and convince herself that everything was alright. Thankfully Erin chose that moment to arrive and Olivia's mind became otherwise occupied.

"Good morning, Olivia." She greeted with a smile. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine." She answered, smiling back.

"Good. I'll just take some measurements of your stomach and then we can get to the fun part." Erin said, moving over to the exam table and motioning for Olivia to lay back. "Did you and Elliot decide if you wanted to know the sex?"

Olivia nodded as Erin quickly measured her stomach lengthwise and widthwise and then moved over to the ultrasound machine. "We want to know."

"Where is that fiancé of yours by the way?" She asked while she squirted cold gel on Olivia's abdomen.

"Work." She replied quietly, hoping Erin didn't pick up on the hint of doubt in her voice.

"Well, his loss then." She joked, placing the wand on Olivia's stomach. "Alright little one, where are you..."

Olivia turned her attention to the screen and all worries about Elliot fled her mind as their child came into view. After everything she'd been through in the past year she cherished every single moment she was able to see their baby like this and have its heartbeat be the only thing that filled her ears. She let out a small laugh when the baby moved its hand so it looked like it was waving at her.

"Looks like she's not too camera shy." Erin joked.

Olivia nodded still looking at the screen, but when her doctor's words finally sunk in her eyes flew up to meet Erin's. "She?"

Erin smiled and nodded. "Yep. Congratulations, Olivia."

"Wow." She breathed, looking back at the screen.

Only minutes ago she had been referring to her daughter as an 'it', but already she could picture a little baby girl with big blue eyes and a grin that was just like Elliot's. It was amazing how much had changed in only a few moments, even if it was only in her mind. She couldn't wait to tell Elliot.

Thankfully it appeared Erin could tell that Olivia was anxious to get going and she finished up taking measurements of the baby fairly quick.

"I'll write everything down while you get cleaned up and then we can get you pictures and scheduled for your next appointment." Erin said handing her a handful of towels.

"Thank you." Olivia took them and quickly wiped off before standing up and grabbing her purse off of the floor.

They walked down the hall to the front desk and Olivia set up her next appointment while Erin printed up pictures from the ultrasound. When she came back and handed them to her, Olivia smiled in surprise at the first one on top of the small stack. It was when the baby had been waving, but on top of her head was a little pink bow and beside her hand were the words, "Hi Daddy!"

"How did you do that?" She asked.

Erin just smiled in response. "It's a secret."

"Sure it is." Olivia said sarcastically. "Thank you though, it saves me time trying to come up with some plan on how to tell him."

"You're welcome." She grinned, and gave Olivia's arm a squeeze. "I'll see you next month."

"See ya." Olivia replied, walking back out to the waiting room to retrieve her coat from the rack by the door.

She bundled up and carefully slipped the pictures into the pocket of her coat before she walked out of the building. The winter winds seemed to have died down a bit and it looked like the sun might finally be making its first appearance of the week. It was still pretty cold out so she hurried over to her car and once inside wasted no time in starting up the car to get it warmed up. She threw her purse into the seat beside her and was about to pull out of her spot when her phone started to ring.

She put the car back into park and grabbed the phone out of her bag. "Hello?"

"Olivia?" She recognized the voice as Detective William Hudson, Elliot's new partner.

"Hey, Will. What's up?" She asked.

"It's Elliot." The tone of his voice made her stomach drop to her feet.

"Wh-what do you mean?" She swallowed thickly and fought against the tears she could feel forming behind her eyes.

"He's been-" she shook her head, praying to god the next word wasn't... "shot."

She pulled the phone away from her ear and let out a sob that she quickly muffled with her hand. This couldn't be happening. She took a few deep breaths to help her calm down before putting the phone back up so she could speak.

"Where is he?" She asked, her voice just above a whisper.

"Mount Sinai, near Astoria." He answered. "Are you okay, Olivia?"

"Astoria? What was he doing all the way out there?" She asked, ignoring his question.

"Part of the case, but that doesn't matter right now. Olivia, are you alright?" He repeated, the concern heavy in his voice.

"I'm fine." She lied. "I'm on the Upper East Side, I'll be there in twenty."

"Olivia..."

She hung up the phone before he could finish and dropped it on the seat beside her. She leaned her head against the steering wheel and took a few shaky breaths as the tears she had been willing away began to trickle down her cheeks. Her concerns about him missing the appointment seemed so futile now. He could be seriously hurt, maybe even...

She stopped herself from completing that thought. This was Elliot she was talking about; Mr. Indestructible. Whatever it was couldn't be life threatening. Not now, not when things were finally going well for them. She wouldn't, no she couldn't let this happen.

Olivia sat up and wiped away her tears. After checking that her mascara hadn't run down her face, she pulled out of her spot and left the parking lot, pointing her car towards Long Island. Her mind thankfully went on autopilot when it came to getting her to the hospital and she was there in no time at all.

She was directed up to ICU by a nurse at the front desk and when she stepped out of the elevator a few minutes later she was actually glad to see that Will and Elliot's captain were the only two in the waiting room. Will noticed her almost immediately and hurried over to her.

"Hey, Olivia." He greeted.

"How is he?" She asked, skipping the pleasantries.

"Still in surgery, they gave us an update just a few minutes ago and said he should be done within the next half hour." He answered as they walked over to the waiting area.

Will gestured to two chairs for them to sit in and she only half-listened for the next twenty minutes as he and Elliot's captain explained what had happened to land Elliot in the hospital. She only focused her sole attention on them long enough to find out that Elliot had been shot in the shoulder and that it was because of some type of hostage situation in an abandoned apartment building a few blocks away. After hearing that the wound wasn't fatal she was able to relax a little and no longer paid as close attention to the conversation after that, until something Will said made her ears perk up.

"I told him it was a stupid idea." Will grumbled shaking his head.

"What was a stupid idea?" She asked, hoping they wouldn't be offended that she had tuned them out.

"We got to the building before SWAT or any other kind of back up did." The younger man sighed and ran a hand through his dirty blonde hair. "I told him we should wait, that we didn't know what kind of weapons the guy had on him or if it was just the one guy, but-"

"-he went in anyway." She finished, hurt and anger suddenly building up within her at his stupid and possibly life-threatening decision.

"Yeah, how...?" He asked, sounding surprised.

Olivia just shrugged, "I was his partner for five years; I know him better than anyone."

"Oh, right." He nodded, seeming embarrassed for forgetting.

Olivia opened up her mouth to speak again but was stopped as a doctor walked into the waiting room and headed their direction.

"Are you all here for Elliot Stabler?" He asked.

They all three nodded and Olivia spoke first, "Is he okay?"

"Yes, the bullet went clean through and didn't get close to anything major." He answered with a small smile. "He's been in his room for about fifteen minutes, but we wanted to make sure he would remain stable before giving you all another update."

Olivia let out a sigh of relief and looked at the doctor hopefully. "Can I see him?"

"Of course." He answered and led her out of the waiting room and down the hall he had come from.

"You said he's been in his room a while, is he awake yet?" She asked.

"Yes actually." He glanced over at her with a smirk on his face, " He woke up just before I came to update you and the first word out of his mouth was 'Olivia'. I'm assuming that's you?"

She couldn't help the blush the crept onto her face, "Yeah, the one and only."

He chuckled as they came to a stop on in front of a door on their right. "I'm sure he'll be glad to see you then."

"Maybe at first, " she said crossing her arms over her chest, "but I'm not sure he'll be too fond of me once I give him a piece of my mind about getting himself shot."

He laughed again, "I would tell you not to be too hard on him, but I've learned from my wife not to argue with pregnant women."

"Smart woman." Olivia commented with a smile.

"I'll leave you to it then." He nodded with a grin, walking back in the direction they had come from.

Olivia took a deep breath and slowly opened the door and was washed over with relief when she was finally able to see for herself that he was alright. She closed the door behind her and it was obvious the sound had caught his attention when he immediately looked over at her.

"Liv." He said softly, his eyes following her as she walked closer to his bed.

She avoided his gaze as she slipped off her coat and sat both it and her purse on a chair next to his bed. When she finally met his gaze his blue eyes were filled with concern and it almost deterred her from her plan, but then she caught sight of his bandaged shoulder and it was enough to put her back on course.

"How the hell could you be so stupid?" She questioned, her eyes hard with hurt and anger.

"Liv, I'm-"

"No." She cut him off. "I'm not even close to being done."

He closed his mouth at the harshness of her words and when she felt satisfied he wouldn't interrupt her again she continued.

"I know that this is part of the job. I probably understand better than any other cop's wife ever will, but that doesn't mean I'm ever going to be okay with you putting your life in danger when it's unnecessary." She paused briefly and began to pace between his bed and the chair. "Will said you didn't want to wait for back up and I know that when we were partners there were several times when we did the same thing...but things are different now, Elliot."

She stopped her pacing so she could look him in the eye. "I love you. I love you more than I thought it was possible to ever love someone. You know that whole other half crap that people are always talking about? Well, you're mine now and I want you to be for the rest of my life, but that won't happen if you keep doing stupid stuff like this."

Olivia paused again and this time Elliot held his hand out to her silently and suddenly her need to be near him trumped everything else. She took his hand and after he carefully scooted over on the bed, he pulled her down beside him so they were laying face to face. She buried her face in his neck almost immediately and wasn't surprised when she felt tears begin to stream down her face.

"Pr-promise me that y-you'll stop?" She asked a few minutes later, her voice muffled by his neck.

He kissed her shoulder and smoothed his hand down her hair. "I promise, Olivia. I'm so sorry I made you feel like this."

"Da-damn right you're s-sorry." She hiccuped, annoyed that the serious tone she tried to convey wasn't at all convincing.

Elliot chuckled and the familiar low rumble in his chest was calming. "Does that mean you forgive me?"

"You might want to get back to me on that." She answered glad that her voice had finally evened out and the crying had all but stopped.

Now that she had calmed down Olivia was aware of just exactly how much energy she had used up yelling at her fiancé and she settled in for a much needed nap. She was on the cusp of sleep when Elliot suddenly spoke and she pulled away from him slightly annoyed.

"What?" She groused, his voice had been muffled and she had missed what he had said.

"I said, I think I felt the baby." He answered, his eyes dancing with excitement.

Olivia looked up at him skeptically because she had just met the five month mark a few days ago which was also the beginning of the time frame when the baby's movement could be felt from the outside. Even though this would be his fifth child she suspected this was just wishful thinking on his part.

"Really?" She asked, raising an eyebrow at him. "Where exactly?"

Elliot put his hand on the front of her stomach just above her belly button. "There."

She remained quiet for a few seconds waiting for something to happen and was pleasantly surprised when she felt a kick in the exact spot Elliot had his hand on. "Hmmm, I guess you're right."

"Seriously?" He questioned, a huge grin on his face.

"Yeah, I guess she must have realized how angry I was with you and wanted to give you a good kick to the gut for me." Olivia joked, resting her hand over Elliot's.

"Yeah, I guess she did." He laughed, but stopped suddenly and looked down at her. "Wait, she? You mean...?"

"Mhmm." Olivia smiled. "Found out this morning."

"That's right, the appointment was this morning." He sighed angrily, his gaze apologetic. "I'm sorry I missed it, I know how important it was to you."

"Don't worry about it." She soothed, kissing him softly, "But there is something you could do to make it up to me."

"What?"

"Let me sleep." She replied, snuggling into his uninjured side.

He chuckled lightly and kissed the top of her head. "Deal."

"Love you." She whispered sleepily, smiling when the baby kicked against their hands. "She loves you too."

Olivia was almost asleep when he replied, but was glad when she heard his next words. "Good, cause the feeling is definitely mutual, for both of you. I love you, Liv."

A/N: Hey guys! Long time, no see, right? I do apologize for the very, very, late update. Finals just got the best of me and then for some reason I got into a writing slump. But I'm back now and hopefully since its summer, my posting schedule will be more frequent.

Thanks again to everyone who still continues to read and review!

-Katie