A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.
I kept a steady rhythm as my feet continued to pound as I ran on the treadmill. Taking calm and controlled breaths, I glanced up from the moving feet to look into the mirror wall in front of me. I was as my skin refused to glisten with sweat, no matter how hard or how long I run. Hearing the door to the training room open, I saw it was Steve as he walked over to me.
"You've been doing this all day. Do you plan on stopping?" he asked before I simmered down to stop and turned off the machine. Taking a drink and collecting my things into a bag, I walked past him when he called after me "You can't keep ignoring me"
"I want to be left alone" I replied before turning the corner. It's a simple request.
After the heated argument outside the cafeteria with the Soldier, I don't want to be near anyone right now. So far I'd skipped Wanda's teaching lessons and remained in my room for all meals and spare time. I don't want any more arguments. I don't want any more conversation. I don't even have to be followed anymore. I'd argued that it was impractical and they'd allowed me to roam by myself so long as I wear the tracking bracelet.
Turning into a familiar section of the building, I made my way into my room. Placing down the duffel bag on my bed, I collected a few items of clothing before walking into the adjoining bathroom. I zoned out focus as I turned on the shower. My mind drifted back to the Facility. Even when I remembered my time there so clearly, I feel as if there's always something missing. I don't know what it is and I don't want to ask anybody. For any reason, I don't want to be taken back to the medical bay.
Stripping myself and stepping into the warm spray, I closed the blue curtain that covered my modesty. Leaning against the wall with my hands, I let the steaming water run down the length of my body. Sighing in content, I always find this moment to be comforting as I enjoyed the feeling and solitary.
After washing and turning off the tap, I felt the remaining droplets of water slide down as I stepped out to face the mirror. Wiping away the fog, I couldn't help but stare at myself. I never realised how many scars I have, or where exactly they all came from. We never had mirror in the Facility. Starting at my shoulder, my eyes wandered down as I looked at the mark marring my body; some faint and others distinguishable. Tracing my fingers against my ribs, I felt the rigid line of flesh – I remember the Soldier gave me this.
An abrupt knock from my door quickly snapped me out of my trance as I tucked the cream towel to cover myself "Katya? It's me, Wanda. Can I come in?" I made my way over to the door and jarred it a little ways open.
"Oh" she said in shock "I'm sorry. I can come back later"
"No" I quickly ushered "Please. I just need a moment" opening the door wider, Wanda stepped in after me and sat down on the bed. Getting dressed in the bathroom, I came back out and stood waiting. Wanda didn't talk as she looked down at her shoes "Is there something you need?"
She looked up and shook her hand a little "I was just going to see if you wanted to take a walk with me. Get some fresh air. I know it can get restless here – always being inside" I looked her over, Wanda's gaze flickered to me and then back to the floor.
I admit, I feel guilty for avoiding Wanda as much as I have. I've always felt a connection of sorts with the Sokovian and I enjoyed her company. I mustered a smile and nodded "That would be nice" giving me a smile, I could tell that she's happy I accepted her offer.
Getting up from the bed, Wanda gestured and opened the door "Shall we?"
Nodding my head, we walked beside each other until we ended up in the centre garden of the complex. Looking down, I stared at the green grass and various array of exotic flowers. They look much different in real life than the pictures I'd seen in books. Breathing in the scented air, I found my spirits slowly lifting. Everything around me is so – beautiful.
As we walked, Wanda and I talked about several things. Everything from her old life in Sokovia to finding her new family with the Avengers and Vision. I'm sure what made Wanda so different from the others. Maybe it's because she's easy to talk to and she's a woman. But whatever it may be, I always find it easier to confide in her when I speak. Although we don't talk about all the things that have happened in my life, I do tell her a great deal more than I would any other person.
"Will I be able to leave soon?" I asked, diverging from our previous conversation.
Wanda stopped and relieved a small sigh before sitting down at a bench. Patting the spot beside her, I sat and we looked out over the garden and green grass "I don't know when you'll be able to leave. The decision isn't mine to make. But despite what you may think, we do care about you Katya. Not just me, but Steve and James as well. We only want what's best for you and right now, it's to stay here"
My brows furrowed "James?" I questioned.
Wanda gave me a brief look of confusion before explaining "The Soldier. His real name is James Barnes" I looked away from her and gripped the edge of my seat a little "What's wrong?"
I shook my head lightly "We were never told his name" I replied even though something deep inside me kept saying the name is somehow familiar. I took a second to collect myself "It makes him sound – human" I blinked as my eyes trained onto the thick grass beneath my shoes.
"That's because he is" Wanda said softly "I know what happened back there. I know it must be difficult to see him so, differently"
Yes, it is.
I've never known the Soldier to be this normal or vulnerable. He isn't how I remembered and even though I don't want to admit it out loud, I'm afraid. How could someone like him be the person he is now? What could have possibly have made him change? There's time when I still wonder if maybe this is all just a dream, but a dream could never feel this real.
Sitting down on my bed, I spooned in a mouthful of carrot and parsnip. Tonight is roast night as I'd been informed by several people in the cafeteria. Apparently it's a very popular food as everyone I seem to encounter enjoys the meal very much. So far, it isn't terrible and over the past few weeks I'd gradually managed to eat more. After all, I need to keep up my strength if I'm going to keep running so many miles a day.
Looking from my food and up to the small rectangle television built into the wall, I watched as the film I had chosen payed across the screen in black and white. Historical and educational, it's about a person called Martin Luther King; a man responsible for the African-American Civil Rights Movement. With a trained eye and observation, I memorised the man and his good deeds. I found it unfortunate to hear that he'd been assassinated because of things he'd accomplished.
Switching off the television, I got up and grabbed the leftover food tray before opening the door. Pausing, I watched as the Soldier swiped his card across the hallway in order to get into his room. I didn't make a sound as I saw water drip from his damp brown hair and onto the towel that draped around his neck. The Soldier must have sensed that I was there as he looked over his shoulder and eyed me up and down. Turning back around, he went into his room before slamming the door behind him.
I heaved a heavy sigh. I have the distinct feeling that the Soldier won't be talking to me for a few days, maybe weeks. After taking my tray back to the cafeteria, I slowly walked down the hall as I looked out the large glass panel windows. It's nice and dark outside with stars and dense shrouded jungle. Squinting, the moonlight caught the large statue of a black panther; its jaw wide open in a fierce roar.
"Are you enjoying the view?" I turned to see a man standing in a long sleeved black shirt and jeans. With dark skin and short black hair, he holds an aura of authority but friendliness. The man introduced himself "We haven't officially met. My names T'Challa"
Holding out his hand, I shook it as is the custom "It's a pleasure to meet you, your grace"
"Please" spoke with a faint smile "Titles and formalities aren't necessary" I nodded my head in understanding. He turned to look out the window "A magnificent creature, such strength. I admire it all the time" T'Challa glanced toward me "I hope your comfortable here. Forgive me for not finding you sooner"
"The apology isn't needed. I know you must be quite busy with your duties" I replied "And thank you for allowing me to stay here" standing all by ourselves, it went quiet for a moment as neither of us spoke.
"It's late to be wandering the halls. Were you not able to sleep?" he questioned while clasping his hands behind his back.
"There's too many things on my mind"
T'Challa nodded "I've heard of the tension between you and the others that reside here. Some are not quite as accepting of your presence. I understand that you might find it difficult to adapt in social circumstances, but rest assured, it happens to all of us"
"I don't feel as if I belong. I know it"
"Do you wish to leave?" he asked.
I sighed "Where would I go?"
"Anywhere your heart desires" he replied "You can start over and recreate yourself to be who you wish to be. Your life is your choice now"
"The only real option I have is to start over, but I can't do that when my past still haunts me. I can see the gaps. I can feel the emptiness. There's so much missing" I sighed "In truth, I feel lost without the purpose that I had before. I don't know what to cling onto beside the confused emotions I have for the last person there is that means anything"
"I give you words of advice, that revenge isn't the answer" he said "I once led a similar path. It will only cause you more pain and suffering, perhaps even regret"
"I don't want revenge" I replied "I only seek my redemption and liberation, wherever or however that many be"