This is the official chapter one of the story. This one is really more on the humor side, and most of it was made up by me. It is also on the shorter side, but that's okay. I personally thought that if anyone would have a family history like this, it would be Danny Williams, just because he seems to... exaggerate things just a bit. But, that is why I love him.

Anyway, enjoy the story!

Chapter One:

The Williams versus The Pineapples

"What could you possibly have against a type of fruit?" Steve asked scoffing at Danny.

"Steven, the hatred of pineapples has been ingrained in the Williams family for years." Danny said moving his hands animatedly to prove his point.

"What?" Steve asked.

"Oh I assure you it is true. For four generations the pineapple has had it against the men of the Williams clan."

"A piece of fruit is not out to destroy your family, Danny." Steve said, slightly intrigued by the story.

"Oh yeah?" Danny questioned, now standing up. "The year is 1885, and my great grandpa Edward Williams was born. Then in 1922, my grandma Dan Williams was born. Yes, Steven I was named after my grandpa. Anyway, after Grandpa Dan was born, some idiot got my Great Grandma a fruit basket. In it was a nice pineapple, so she sliced it up and began eating it. She accidentally knocked over a slice, and while Great Grandpa Eddie went to go clean it up, he slipped on it, hit his head, went into a coma,and died."

Steve looked shocked. "Danny... I had no idea, I'm so sorry."

Danny just looked at him, still standing, now pacing back and forth. " Then we move to 1950, when my father Edward - yes Steven he was named after my great grandfather, the Williams men have a habit of doing this."

"But what about-" Steve began but was interrupted.

"Didn't know he was mine, remember?" Danny said, not holding it against Steve that he forgot that he didn't know Charlie was his own until recently. It was funny how quickly Charlie was accepted as Danny's own, almost as if he was there from the start. But Danny knew he could never get back the three years he missed, or the naming tradition. Not that it mattered that Charlie was in his life now.

"Oh sorry." Steve mumbled, feeling stupid that he didn't remember.

"Anyway, grandpa Dan was watching my pops, and then they decided to have some nice fruit to go with a nutritious lunch."

"Let me guess," interrupted Steve, "Pineapple."

"Bingo, Steven, bingo. They served it up and were eating it, when all of a sudden my grandpa began to choke on a piece. Thankfully my grandma found him in time and saved him, but he was this close," Danny now held his fingers barely an inch apart," to becoming worm food due to that fruit once again."

Steve shifted in his seat again. "Come on, Danny, I mean twice isn't-"

"Oh but Steven, there's more. You know what they say, once it is three, it ain't a coincidence."

"Ain't is not a word and that is not the saying, but continue anyway." Steve interrupted gesturing with his hand and smiling.

"Whatever, grammar Nazi. Anyway, in 1976 yours truly was born. When I was sixteen, I was at the supermarket with this girl, her name was Lisa something. Anyway, we were getting stuff for a movie at her house, when all of a sudden, this fight breaks out in the produce section. Craziest, stupid thing I'd even seen."

Danny laughed, and Steve couldn't help but smile too. He was picturing a sixteen year old Danny just trying to impress a girl and then seeing a produce fight. It definitely would have been a sight to see.

"So this married couple, gets into and I can see it's about to turn violent, so I try and step in the middle. I mean, the wife is like ninety pounds soaking wet and her husband is this big dude. " Danny said spreading his hands apart to gesture size. "I step in there and then all of a sudden, wham! I get struck in the face with something. I'm on the floor, Lisa is screaming, and the wife is just looking stunned. She tried to hit her husband with a giant pineapple, but his me instead. Right in the face. And she swung. Hard. I got knocked to the floor, had to go to the hospital. My whole face was bleeding, almost took out my eye too."

"Wow." Steve said. "How did the date turn out?"

"Worked like a charm, Lisa fell for the 'hero' act, and we dated for about three months."

"See, buddy!" Steve said slapping Danny's leg, "The pineapple helped you get a nice girl."

"No, Steven, the pineapple got me a girl who was clinically insane. After we broke up, she cut my brake lines, almost killed me!"

Steve just stared at him. "Honestly Danny, why is this the first time I'm hearing this? This is hilarious."

Danny had blown a fuse. "Hilarious! Hilarious, Steven? Having relatives die, your father almost die, ending up in the hospital for three days, and then almost dieing when your psychotic ex cuts the brake lines in your car is NOT hilarious!" Yelled Danny.

By then, Steven was laughing, but trying hard to look serious. "Okay, buddy. Okay. You're right, that does suck."

Danny looked proud. "Thank you. Now do you see why I hate the evil yellow spiky fruit."

"Yes Danny, " sighed Steve, "I completely understand why you don't like the 'evil yellow spiky fruit'. But seriously man, she cut your brake lines?"

"Yes!"

"Dude, you need to pick better women."

"Tell me about it." Danny sighed finally sitting down on the couch. "Now can you finally cross pineapples off your list?"

"I guess so." Steve said. "It makes since why you hate them so much."

"Yeah, that and they taste absolutely disgusting. And fruit on pizza? Yuck."

"Uh... Danno, you do know tomato sauce is technically made from fruit right?"

Danny sat up and pointed at Steve. "I am not having this argument with you right now."

Steve held his hands up in mock surrender. "Okay, okay. What is the next one?" He asked gesturing to the list.

"Uh... the water." Danny sighed.

Preview from 'Chapter Two: Sharing Billy':

"Well," Danny said clearly uncomfortable, "I kinda already explained this one." He said looking down.

Steve just looked at him, really looked at him, and decided to do something bold. "Tell me again." He said.

At this Danny looked up. " What?" He asked.

"Tell me again." Steve repeated.

"Steve, I don't know."

"Danny hear me out," Steve said, "I think it will be good for you, finally get all that off your chest. Maybe just let it out, you know. Sometimes this is the perfect time for a little impromptu therapy."

"Well thank you, Doctor Steven." Danny said.

He was quiet for a minute, and Steve thought he may have to give up on his endeavor, but then Danny spoke up.

Not gonna lie, next chapter is a bit agnsty, just because it deals with Billy Selway. Anyhoo, like I said last chapter, this is kinda like my experimental baby, so please let me know if I should keep it up or pack up my bags and go home. I honestly have no idea how this will be received, I'm just hoping people will find the humor in it like I do.

Also, please if you have a suggestion, send it to me, or leave it in the reviews. I am pretty good at responding to them and will keep this updated regularly. Please please please follow, fave and review!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hawaii Five 0 or any of its characters.