Not Quite Human
Thinking
Speaking
Alternate Personality/Mask Speech
It's official I'm in a My Chemical Romance kick, this song is called Dead! I own nothing!
Chapter 6: Secret Admirer
I woke up to something made of paper smacking me in the face. Groaning I lifted my mask off and saw my sister holding a card in her hand.
"Looks like someone's got a secret admirer." She smirked and tossed the card in my lap before heading to the door. "Oh that arrived with a giant bouquet of roses." I tore into the card as soon as she left. I expected an actual card but it was a thick sheet of material almost like cardboard but heavier. There was a strange message set inside with what looked like golden ink.
"I am just two and two
I am warm, I am cold,
I am lawful, unlawful
A duty, a fault
I am often sold dear,
Good for nothing when bought;
An extraordinary boon,
and a matter of course,
and yielding with pleasure
When taken by force.
Who am I?"
I stopped to think for a moment. This reminded me of that strange call I'd received the other day. I went over the riddle in my head a few times before the answer clicked in my head. "Oh a kiss!" I nearly dropped the card in shock when it clicked open to reveal a ticket. I pulled it out and saw that it was for a musical that was going to be in town next week. I loved the Phantom of the Opera but I wasn't sure that I would be able to go. We had a gig coming up that week and I couldn't miss it. I left the card on my bed and headed out into the kitchen ignoring the looks that both Max and Bernard shot my way.
"What's up sis?" Randi held out a mug of coffee and I took it with my free hand.
"There was a ticket in that card I got." I held it out to her and her eyes lit up.
"Oh my god I love that show! You have to go I'll do your makeup and we can go shopping for a dress!" I had never seen her eyes light up as much as they did in that moment.
"But don't we have a gig that week?" I cautiously sipped my coffee and sighed as once again she had loaded it with cream and sugar.
"The day before so you should be good. Now who the hell is this mystery man?"
"Hell if I know." My eyes were drawn to a large cropping of red roses sitting on the counter. "Never had anyone send me roses before."
"That's a good thing. Now we just need to get you looking pretty for your show."
"Lets focus on our career first, then we'll worry about making me look nice." I licked my canines before trudging back to my room. We were going to be playing a new song and I wanted to learn it enough so I could play it backwards if I needed to.
I slipped the ticket onto my dresser and pulled the card off my bed. I inspected the card looking for anything else it could be hiding but finding nothing I slipped it into my underwear drawer. All too soon I had pulled out my guitar and was strumming through the songs I knew before moving to the new song. I droned out the world as I focused on my music.
I barely noticed as my coffee cup continued to be filled and plates of waffles appeared every so often. I smirked knowing that my sister wouldn't let me starve as I wouldn't stop for days if I had a difficult new song to learn. I wasn't too bad this time, I only worked for two days straight before I stopped to take a break. When I was in the zone I didn't stop till I dropped. My mug was empty and cold so I strode out into the living room for more coffee. The house was empty as was the coffeepot. Sighing I brewed another pot and tapped my fingers on the counter while I waited. I felt a brush of air across my back and I whirled around to see the kitchen window was now open. I groaned and looked around for the unwelcome visitor.
"Go away." I crossed my arms over my chest and was met by that annoying red guy again.
"Sorry but I'm here to collect you. I have to patrol and Batman doesn't want you left alone again." He shrugged like it was nothing.
"I haven't had my coffee yet." I pointed at the pot.
"I'll buy you some coffee on the road. Now suit up and lets get going. Unless you want to show me how you fit into that thing?" I rolled my eyes and pushed past him. I may have pushed him a little too hard as he hit the wall and groaned. I smirked and slammed my door. Slipping into the metal and fabric was second nature to me by now. I was dressed within minutes and walked out as I was adjusting my mask. I was still getting used to the grappler on my wrist and I made sure it was tightly secured.
"Mess with me and I will kick your ass off a building." I ignored the once over he gave my outfit and headed to the window. Tonight was going to be a long and annoying night.
"Noted now follow me and try not to fall behind." He pushed past me and was grappling to a nearby building in moments. I propelled myself out the window and used my claws to follow him around. I was keeping a good pace with him for awhile until he grappled across the street towards the warehouse district. I tried to avoid that area as most of the buildings were metal. I did my best with my claws and my new toy. I wanted to beat this guy over the head with a car by the time I made it to where he was perched. We were overlooking the port and ships were coming in and unloading their cargo.
"So why am I here again?" He gave me a look that was probably to shut me up and I clicked on my radio before sitting on the edge of the roof, my feet dangling out into open air. I was a musician not a super hero. He pulled a pair of what looked like small binoculars from his belt and stared at a boat that just came in. I gave it a once over then leaned back to stare into the sky. A whoosh of air to my right drew my attention and Batman himself was standing there. He ignored me and pulled out his own set of binoculars and stared at the boat as well.
"They're unloading it tonight." Red boy kept his voice low and I turned my music to a different station, something more mellow that ebbed my urge to dance.
"Good work Robin. I'm going in to try and tag the tanks, keep an eye on her." He nodded off in my direction and I flipped through my phone list. This sucked and the first chance I got I was going to bail.
"You know she's just going to bail the first chance she gets. Why did you even bother having me bring her?" He was probably still mad that I threw him out of a window.
"She's a wild card Robin. I'm not letting her too far out of my sight." He walked over and pulled me to my feet. I was so bailing the first chance I got. "Stay with Robin." He pushed me at Robin before taking off and gliding around away from us. I brushed myself off and walked back over to my corner and plopped back down.
"Great." Robin went back to watching the ship and I slipped off the side of the building to the ground. He didn't peek over the edge at me so I assumed I was home free. I waltzed my happy ass back towards town, sticking to the shadows, and wished them all the best with their boat watching. I wanted nothing to do with Batman or his Robin. Once I was away from the warehouses I took back to the building tops and did some more free running before stopping at a part of town I hadn't been before. I saw a small karaoke bar and wanted to partake. I had some money in my suit and I waltzed right in, ignoring the stares from around me.
I had a few drinks at the bar before queuing up for the next round of singing. It didn't come fast enough, there had been two large guys wearing clown makeup singing off key to some Aqua music. I was surprised to find one of my band's songs on their list and signed up for it. As my turn came up I took my mask off and set it atop my head so I could sing without the voice over. I didn't need to see because I already knew the words so I didn't panic when the world faded to a blur around me. I heard the intro to the song and belted it right out.
And if your heart stops beating
I'll be here wondering
Did you get what you deserve?
The ending of your life
And if you get to Heaven
I'll be here waiting babe
Did you get what you deserve?
The end, and if your life won't wait,
Then your heart can't take this
Have you heard the news that you're dead?
No one ever had much nice to say
I think they never liked you anyway
Oh take me from the hospital bed
Wouldn't it be grand?
It ain't exactly what you planned
And wouldn't it be great if
We were dead.
Oh dead.
Tongue-tied and oh-so squeamish
You never fell in love
Did you get what you deserve?
The ending of your life
And if you get to Heaven
I'll be here waiting babe
Did you get what you deserve?
The end and if your life won't wait
Then your heart can't take this
Have you heard the news that you're dead?
No one ever had much nice to say
I think they never liked you anyway
Oh take me from the hospital bed
Wouldn't it be grand to take a pistol by the hand
And wouldn't it be great if we were dead?
And in my honest observation
During this operation
Found a complication
In your heart, so long
'Cause now you've got
Maybe just two weeks to live
I said, "Is that the most the both of you can give?"
(GUITAR SOLO)
1, 2
1, 2, 3, 4!
La la la la la
La la la la la la
La la la la la la la
Well c'mon
La la la la la
La la la la l'oh la
La la la la la la la
(Continue lalala)
Oh, motherfucker
If life ain't just a joke
Then why are we laughing?
If life ain't just a joke
Then why are we laughing?
If life ain't just a joke
Then why are we laughing?
If life ain't just a joke
Then why am I dead?
DEAD!
That was a fun song and so easy without having to concentrate on guitar notes while searching for the words. I heard clapping and insane laughter from a corner of the bar as I walked off stage, I slipped my mask back on and jumped onto a bar stool to down a few more drinks. I was surprised when about twelve different drinks of all types and colors were set in front of me.
"These are compliments of the house." The bartender looked nervous and his eyes were darting all around me.
"Thanks." If I drank all these I would need a cab home and a lift up the stairs. Screw it I wanted to get toasted. I took my time and drank every one. After the sixth the room was tilting slightly and I was feeling bubbly. Once they were all gone I was sure my liver was half dead but I didn't care. I had the bartender call me a cab and I staggered out onto the street to wait for the yellow car. The ride home was horrible, I hated cabs they always smelled weird. When we arrived I tried to pay the guy but he just kept telling me it was paid for and not to worry. I looked up to see if the apartment lights were on and fell on my ass. It was all dark and I didn't have a key so I walked around to the side and started climbing up. I don't know how I made it inside but I finally collapsed on my bed, in full costume, and passed out like it was nobodies business.
"Oh god she smells like a brewery." Max's voice sent a radiating pain through my head. I rolled over clutching my head and groaned.
"Ah the pain." I curled up into a little ball on my bed as my sister laughed and poked me.
"Aww is the poor baby hung over? How much exactly did you drink?" She rolled me onto my back and pulled my mask off. The light made me hiss and I pulled a pillow over my head.
"Apparently enough to do that." Bernard's voice floated in from the doorway and I whimpered.
"Okay everybody out. I'm throwing her in the shower and then we're going to need a lot of water and coffee." I heard her pushing Max out of the room and then slamming the door. Pain exploded behind my eyes at the loud noise and I rolled around a bit trying to escape it. "Come on you big baby." She pulled the pillow off my head and dragged me into the bathroom. Within moments she had stripped me down and shoved me into a warm shower. I stood under the spray until it went cold and enjoyed the brisk chill. I would have stayed there until I pruned if the water hadn't cut out and a towel wrapped around my body.
"I wasn't done yet." I glared at my sister but she just shrugged and pulled me out.
"Tough luck, dry yourself off and get dressed. We need to make sure you didn't drink away the new music for the end of the week." She marched off and I grumbled as I forced myself into the clothes and staggered into the kitchen. I was sure my glasses were on askew but I made no move to fix them. I drank about a gallon of water before my guitar was thrust into my hands and I was forced to play through the entire set list. Once they were all happy with my progress I was handed a cup of coffee.
"Well at least she didn't pickle her brain." Bernard walked off and I flipped him off with my free hand. Max took my guitar and I looked over at my sister, she had her purse in hand and an evil look in her eye.
"Ok D lets go shopping and if you say no I'll kick your ass." She pushed me into my room and forced me into a pair of shoes and fixed my hair.
"Fine just stop poking me." I whined and let her drag me downstairs to a waiting cab. I slept the whole way to the mall and pretty much zombie walked around the stores with her. As usual I was carrying all her bags and ignored. She chatted up a few fans that stopped by for autographs but no one dared rush me for mine. I was pretty sure my yellow eyes were bloodshot and I looked like I would eat somebody. She took the bags a few moments later and left me behind as she took off with a group of bubbly women. I walked around waiting for her to find me again. Window shopping while hung over wasn't the best thing in the world but it was all I had. I tried to stay out of any stores specializing on breakable items and ended up walking through an arts and crafts store. I was lost in the puzzle/toy section when a hand tapped me on my shoulder.
"Hey I know you!" I was face to face with a buff looking guy wearing all black but had his face painted up like a clown.
"Uh, hello?" I inched away from the guy but he just smiled big and pulled a scrap of paper and a pen from his pocket.
"I saw you sing last night, the boss would love to have your autograph. Could I get one for him and myself?"
"You actually want my autograph?" I was stunned, this would make the first autograph I would ever give out. Most people went for the safer looking members of the band.
"Yes!" He ripped the paper in half and handed me both pieces along with his pen.
"Ok who should I make them out to?"
"Make one out to Gerald and the other to Mr. J." I turned him around so I could use his back as a writing surface.
"Ok one for Gerald and one for Mr. J." What should I write? Hmmm...oh I know. To Gerald your one unique guy. And then To Mr. J you're one spiffy fan. I signed both papers with just a fancy 'D' and handed him back the papers and his pen.
"Oh this is awesome." He literally jumped for joy and hugged me before running off. I felt weird. Did my sister go through this with all her fans?