A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.
"Katya!" bellowed the soldier.
Racing down the stairs, I grabbed my hooded jacket off the coat hanger before ripping open the front door. Ignoring the shouts of my name, I kept running down the driveway and into the night. I don't care where I'm going, I just know that I need to get out of that house. I can't believe any of it. Out of all the people in the entire world, they're the ones that had to be my parents.
I want it to be a lie.
How could someone do that to their own flesh and blood, their own daughter? And for what? Hydra? The greater good? They made my life a living nightmare and the whole time they knew who I was and who they were doing it to. It was monstrous.
Blocking out all the noises around me, all I can hear are the vibrations of my feet as they pounded against the concrete footpath. My chest is tight and a flutter of emotions persisted to crawl along my body. I didn't look back to see if the Soldier had followed me. He isn't going to stop me. Turning onto the main road, I continued down the street.
When I'd briefly read over the profile, I caught an address. Krupin had died, but Madame is still alive and she currently resides in a nursing home not far from here. It's where I'm going now. I have to see her. I want her to see me and look into my eyes – just one last time.
Crossing several streets and keeping to the shadows, the night time breeze blew over my face as I peered into the front entrance of the building. Lit bright, a young woman sat behind a counter sifting through something at the front desk. Watching her take a sip of her drink, I know it would be a matter of time before she needed to go relieve herself. All I have to do is wait.
Taking a step back, I tugged my hoodie closer to my face as a car drove past. I need to be careful. I don't want the Soldier to find me yet. Furrowing my brow at the suddenly loud and obnoxious laughs, I watched as a small group of women stumbled down the street in their high heels. Their clearly heading home after an adventurous night out. Turning back around, the women who I'd been waiting for had just left her desk.
Spotting my chance, I quickly made my way through the front door. Looking up at the corner of the room, I spotted the green flicker of the camera. Its recording. Glancing down the hallway the woman had gone down, I made sure I was alone before heading behind the front desk. Typing away, I found Madame's room and deleted any evidence of my being here.
A door opened and I silently hid behind the corner of a wall as the woman came back to sit at her desk. When it was safe, I continued on to find the room labelled Grekov. So many scenarios ran through my head. What am I going to do? What am I going to say? Would she even remember me? What's going to happen?
Taking a deep breath, I entered into the room I needed. Walking into almost complete darkness, I closed the door behind me without a sound. The first thing that came to mind is the steady but slow beep of the heart monitor; telling me she's asleep. Standing at the foot of the bed, all I have is the light of the city outside as I looked at her. Her face is wrinkled and old, as is her entire body. Her beauty had long since perished and now she's nothing but frail and dying.
It's how I should be, right now.
Turning on the tall soft glowing lamp, I watched as the women squirmed from the light "Is it morning already?" she muttered with a croaky voice. Opening her eyes, she scanned the room with a squint before landing on me. There was a short pause "Am I dreaming?"
"If only it were that simple" I said while stepping forward and gripping the edge of the bed.
"He told me you were dead. I must be dreaming – look at you" she croaked with sadness "You haven't aged a day. Still as beautiful as I remember" closing her eyes, she continued "I should have taken you faraway"
I played along with her delusional state and questioned "Where? Where would you have taken me?
"When you were born, you were so small. I could hold you with just one hand" opening her eyes, she looked down at me "From the moment I laid my eyes that little face, I knew there would be nothing in the world I'd ever love more than you"
"Then why did you do it? Why did you do this to me?" I saw Madame's eyes water with tears. The more I talked, the more I could feel small parts of me breaking down inside. All those years she had a choice. She could have helped me, but she didn't. Instead she made herself an accomplice to something that would damage my life.
"I should have said no. I should have protected you. I regret it. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Katya" she sobbed. I listened to her whimper as wet tears streaked down her cheeks "I didn't mean to" I walked over to the side of her bed and I remember back to the time I told Madame those very same words; the day I had to take a life. It was ironic in a way.
Taking her cold hand in mine, I raised it to my lips to leave a single kiss. This woman may have given birth to me, but she's never been my mother. Taking the pillow from behind her head, I placed the white fabric cushion over her face and pressed down hard "Yes, you did"
Walking down the empty footpath, I turned left into a local park. Feeling the bark give way beneath my feet, I went and sat on one of the cold metal swings. Wrapping my hands against the thick metal chain that held the seat, I couldn't help but let a tear slip from my eyes. It's all over now. There really is no one left but the Soldier.
Sniffling, I looked up into the night sky and stared at the bright moon. What am I going to do now? Everything that I've lived for after being released from control had a part in fuelling me. I wanted revenge on the people responsible and now I have it. There's nothing left keeping me here. Looking to my left, I heard a large figure approach me. I can already tell who it is by the gleaming metal arm.
"Katya" he called.
"Leave me alone" getting up from the swing, I started walking in the opposite direction. Looking down at the ground, a chill ran down my spine as the wind blew over my body. It was soul shrivelling cold for some reason, but I don't care. I'd dealt with worse things.
"Katya, stop" demanded the Soldier loud and clear. Ignoring him, I kept walking at a moderate pace. There's no point in running. If he wants to catch me, then he will "Is that it? Are you going to keep walking away? From your problems? From me?"
I stopped and turned around with a glare "Leave me alone" I sneered each word with venom. I'd never held more anger toward the Soldier than right now. Does he know what I did? Does he know what I'm feeling? How lost I am?
Turning back around, I continued my aimless journey when a metal hand suddenly took a hold of mine. Pulling myself free within seconds, I'd swung my fist toward his face and I heard a familiar sickening contact of flesh. The Soldier took a step back and wiped the splotch of blood under his nose. Looking from the crimson liquid to me, I could see his face morph into under the moonlight.
I didn't have time to defend myself when he lashed out and curled a fist full of my hair between his fingers. Yanking me toward him, I groaned when he back handed me. My head began to turn at different angles and a stinging tingle blossomed on my cheek. Letting go of my hair he clutched the back of my neck as he dragged me across the park. He's taking me home.
I squirmed but he only held tighter "I don't want to go back"
"I don't care what you want" reaching the parked four-wheel drive, the Soldier yanked open the door and shove me into the passenger seat "If you run you better hope to god that your faster than me" the door slammed shut and he walked around to the other side before climbing in and starting the engine.
The entire journey home was nothing but pure silence as the Soldier clutched the steering wheel tight. Pulling into the driveway, I heard the creak of the break before I pulled on the handle. It wouldn't open. Leaning back in my seat with a sigh, I didn't look at him "Let me out"
"I'm going to ask you a question, and I want you to answer me honestly" he said while looking out through the windscreen. His face is set blank but stern, and I know he's serious "Do you want to be here?"
I looked out of my window. I didn't expect that. Sighing, I replied "I don't want to live like this. I don't want to go to school and be normal. It isn't what I want, and I know it's not what you want either"
"It doesn't matter what I want Katya. I came here for you and only you. I didn't do this because Steve told me to, or because of my own agenda. I did this so that I could give you a better life, but ever since we moved here we've been constantly fighting" he ran his hand through his short hair "I'm tired Katya. I'm tired of having to fight with you everyday"
"You never once bother to ask me what I wanted in Wakanda. You didn't want to know what I think is best for myself. Instead all three of you whispered behind my back and decided for yourselves because you think you know everything. If you'd have asked me, maybe things would have been different. Maybe I wouldn't have to fight you everyday"
"Then what's your answer?" he pressed "Do you want to be here or not? Because if you do then things are going to change, but if you don't – then I'll let you go"
"What was the point of telling me about my parents?" this time I turned to face him "You could have told me anything"
"I didn't plan on telling you. I didn't think you could handle it and I was right" he replied "But it's over now. It's what you needed and now you can get over it and move on"
I couldn't believe it. Reaching over, I pressed the button to unlock the car door before hurtling myself out of the vehicle. Marching up the porch stairs, I opened the front door with a slam. When I heard the sound of the Soldiers boots not far behind me, I stopped and turned to look at him.
"And what happens now? How do you plan I'm going to get over it and move on?!" I bellowed. I couldn't believe that he'd said that to me. As if my past is an annoyance of some kind and that I'm being childish for holding onto it.
Watching with trained eyes as the Soldier made his way toward me, I pushed him away when he got too close, but he persisted forward. Pushing again and again, it soon turned into vicious shoves in attempt to get the man away from me. Peering down as I stood only the height of his chest, he took my face in his hands and suddenly crushed his lips onto mine; our teeth clanged against one another. My hands pushed against his chest, and when I didn't kiss back he moved away.
"I do everything for you"
The Soldier slipped his hands under my calves and hoisted me up. Wrapping my legs around his waist to keep from falling, he held on tight as he carried me over to the kitchen table. I gave a firm warning "Put me down"
Dropping me to sit on the edge of the table, the Soldier stood between my parted thighs. Taking my face into his hands again, I felt warm lips on mine as he tried to kiss me again. Squirming in his hold, I kept my own unmoving as I tried to turn away. Biting his bottom lip with a nip of my teeth, I heard him wince as he pulled back.
The Soldiers voice rumbled with a low growl as he spoke "Why is it that you get so angry and jealous, but you never do anything about it?"
"Because it isn't right" I retorted "None of this right"
Jolting my legs forward, I slapped him across the cheek but it didn't deter him. His steel eyes stared down at me "It's better when it feels wrong"
Grabbing the hem of my jogging pants, he yanked them down the length of my legs before pushing me to lay back on the wooden table. Pinning his body over mine, I can feel the hard bulge in his jeans grind against me. A shaky breath parted from my lips and his tongue immediately delved into my open mouth. He tastes warm and sweet, but this isn't what I need.
Not right now.
My hands enclosed around his throat and I could fell the bob of his adams apple beneath my fingers. I wanted to squeeze until there was no light left. Still kissing me, I could hardly breathe as I felt my chest tighten and my lungs restrict. Riding my shirt up to expose my stomach and ribs, a chill ran down my spine despite the warmth of the house and his body. I feel so exposed.
This is one thing I've never been trained for. An intimate moment.
The Soldiers hands worked on the belt and zipper of his pants before freeing himself from confinement. When I glanced down he was already hard and ready. Moving closer, my thighs shook when I felt the tip prodding at my entrance. A swell of butterflies erupted in my belly and I barely had time to look back up into his eyes when he filled me with a hard thrust of his hips.
A chocked whimper escaped me as tears welled in my eyes from the tearing pain. Clamping my legs tight to the sides of his waist, my hands squeezed his throat and the Soldier thrusted again with a slight grunt. A moment or two passed when the slow rhythmic pace started to increase into an almost battering force as I jolted against the wooden surface.
Gasps and moans echoed out and I still couldn't find pleasure; just the feeling of him rubbing up inside of me and pressing into the walls of my uterus. Uncomfortable and tight. My hands unlatched from his throat and wrapped around his torso as I held on. The Soldiers lips pressed against my cheek and along my neck like the ticklish gentle touch of a butterfly's wings.
I could hear the splintering of wood as his metal hand gripped the edge of the wooden table too tight. Panting sounded beside me ear and I winced at the hard pounding he gave me. Clinging to him, my skin glistened with a slight sheen of sweat as the air around us began to heat up. A tingle in my groin began to spark on and off amidst the pain. It's hard to tell if the act is something to be loved or hated.