15

When I stumble out to the flight deck, the graceful cold greets me, as if I was an old friend. The mist caresses my shoulders. I shiver. I finish my bottle of vodka and I am numb. I don't feel any pain. Instead I feel on top of the world.
But that feeling is sort lived when my stomach irrupts like a volcano. I run to the railing and throw up. When I was done I wipe mouth but slip. I almost fall off the railing but something grabs me from behind. When I turn around I laugh and completely forget I almost fell to my death.
"Hey! Its Butchy wutchy!" I giggle while I poke his nose. He shakes his head away from my finger. He sighs. He has his hands firmly gripping my shoulders. I feel completely vulnerable.
"Danny." He says. "You almost fucking fell off the railing." He says. I nod but burst out laughing. The alcohol makes me giddy.
"What can I say? I'm a bit clumsy." I say. He frowns at me. But my face grows serious and I look at him. His face is tanned and has a few cuts and bruises. I wonder if he had some trouble on the way here. The big question is how the hell he got here without being killed?
His pout makes my insides crawl. I gaze at his lips, and I don't think he notices. But we both jump when we hear sharp yell.
"Daenerys? You okay?" the man asks. I look over Butch's shoulder. I had to stand on my tippy toes to even get a glance. It's Harkness.
"Harkness!" I chirp. Harkness smiles at me. I move out of Butch's arms. I grab Harkness shoulders and shake him.
"Butch just saved my life!" I slur. "He is a hero!" then I giggle. I feel Butch grabs my shoulders.
"Danny, time for bed." Butch says. I laugh.
"You work pretty fast Butchman!" I say. Butch rolls his eyes and takes me to my room. It takes Butch awhile to settle me down and lay still. He takes out a fixer. He flicks the syringe. I chuckle. As I calm down, I can feel a little bit more in control of my mind. Dogmeat is asleep in the corner where I left him last. He twitches in his sleep.
"Just like a natural." I say. Butch half smiles and I stare at his lips. He wears a black undershirt with blue jeans. His tan arms have muscular definition that makes my back tense up. He has gotten stronger since I saw him last.
He injects me with fixer. I inhale sharply. His gaze is soft and I gawk at him. He notices and… he actually blushes. I smile. I can feel my drunkenness go down as the seconds go by.
"How did you get here Butch? I mean why are you in this hell hole?" I ask. He glances at me and I am lost in his eyes.
"Why are you?" he asks. His face is serious. I stay silent. "What are you doing, Daenerys?" when he says my whole name, my heart sinks. I look down, trying not to break. The booze is stronger and cheaper.
"This isn't you. This isn't the Danny I grew up with." He says. He's right, this isn't me, but I don't care and why should he.
"What? I am not the Danny you teased, fought, and beat up? No I'm not. I'm also not the girl who saved your mom… if you asked me the same thing right now I would leave her to die and rot like the piece of shit she is." I yell. Butch doesn't even flinch. This surprises me. More than I would like. There is a long pause. My jaw clenches. He sighs and breaks the silence.
"Wouldn't make much of a difference. She's already dead." He says. My brows raise and I feel a bit sorry for what I said, but that doesn't mean I didn't mean it. I look down at the mattress that I am lying on. I sigh.
"I'm… I'm sorry." I whisper. I don't look up but I hear the low chuckle that he releases. He went through what I went through. He lost a parent that was close to him. Not only has that he never known who his real father was. But he did mention that he thinks that his father isn't dead.
"It doesn't fucking matter anymore." He says throwing the fixer box to the wall. I flinch when the sound is louder than I expected. More silence. Then he sighs and looks at me.
"What happened to you?" He asks. I know he is sincere. We don't break eye contact and I feel a single tear fall down my cheek.
"I watched my whole life die." I say. We stay looking at each other. "There was nothing I could do, but I feel…" I gulp down as I hear my voice shake. "I feel there was something that I could have done to save him." I rest my in my hand. "I watch my dad gets killed. And he is the one that flipped the switch." I sob. Butch struggles on what to do. When he puts his hand on my shoulder I jump out of the bed and hug him tightly. He is the only one that knew my father. He was the only one that knew how much I loved him. I tuck my face in his neck and I sob.
After a few minutes the tears stop coming and all I do is breathe deeply. I remove my arms that I wrapped around his and I walk to the other side of the room my back is not facing him.
"I'm sorry." I say.
"Don't worry about it. I don't think tears stain." He chuckles. I shake my head and turn.
"No." I whisper. "For what I said to you when uh…" I rub my head. "When I got the name Nosebleed." I say.
His jaw clenches but then he smiles. I hear him chuckle. "That? Don't worry about it. I… I deserved it." He says. I raise a brow.
"No one deserves it. As much of an asshole you are, you don't deserve it." I say. He smiles. Then he shakes his head.
"I was such an asshole to you." He sighs. "No I was more than that. I just… I want you to know I regret it. It wasn't the right way to go about it…" he says.
"Go about what?" I ask. He stays silent. I sigh. "You don't know how much I regret saying what I said to you. You might understand it if you truly do regret being the asshole you were but… I think about often. More often than I'd like." I say. He smiles again but then his face goes cold.
"You know who my father is?" he asks. I shake my head. He sighs again. "Think…who looks like me." he says. I think through everyone in the vault but I blank. He sighs.
"Officer Gomez is my father." He says. The air is literally sucked out of me. I look around trying to process this information.
"Holy fucking shit." I exhale. I look at him surprised that he thinks that this normal. "How long did you know about this?" I ask. He shrugs.
"A little bit before you fucked Freddie." He says bluntly. I straighten my posture and purse my lips. Crossing my arms I don't break eye contact. Why do I feel like that was a cheap shot?
"Is that why you were so angry? That your brother betrayed you by fucking me? The girl who you hated for all of your life?" I question. He shakes his head. I know he is angry.
"No!" he says as he shoots up from his chair. He comes close to me, ready to yell in my face. "I was mad because he betrayed me! He knew that I…" he stops and calms down. When he is about to turn I grab his arm. I can feel his muscles under my skin and my arm feels like jelly. He stops and looks at me. He sees the effect that his body has on me. I let go and his gaze softens.
"What did he know?" I ask, still not looking at him. I am afraid of what he might say, so I am thankful that he doesn't say anything.
I sit down on the bed and lean and cup my face in my hands. My head feels like it was spinning and I don't even have a hangover. Butch sits down on the chair.
"Do you have any water?" Butch asks. I nod.
"In my bag." I sigh pointing over to my pack. I hear him walk over to my pack and look through it. Then I hear him stop and he breathes heavily. I raise head from my hands. "I was sure that there was…" I stop. I see Butch holding up the Tunnel Snake's jacket that he gave me before I left the vault. My jaw dropped a little. He seemed surprised as I was.
"You kept this?" He asks. I nod. He chuckles. "Why the hell would you keep this old thing? I would have sold it long ago." He says. I stay silent. I missed you. "Why did you keep this?" he asks again.
I just look up at him eyes as big as the moon, and I shrug. He smiles, wider than ever before. I push my eyebrows together.
"What?" I ask. He looks down for a second then looks at me with the big blue eyes that I can't stop loving.
"You know why I was mad at Freddie for… having sex with you?" he asks. I shake my head. "Because… I… I liked you." My face goes pale and I narrow my eyes. Liked, past tense. He did like me, he doesn't like me. My fists tighten.
"How long did you like me?" I ask. I still can't look at him, so keep my eyes down.
"When did I start teasing you?" he asks with a smile. My head shoots up.
"What the fuck? You punched me in the chest and I cried, you punched me in the nose and I bleed. When did that translate into I like you?!" I say. He frowns.
"I didn't know how to react." He says. I laugh.
"So causing me harm sounded like the best option on how to deal with this… admiration." I say. He sighs and then nods.
"It was more than admiration… I was mad at you for making me have these feelings and running after Freddie. The worst part is that he knew." He pauses. I narrow my eyes again. I remember that night. I remember when Butch entered the room and the look on his face. That look, that look of being crushed.

In the doorway, stood wide eyed, mouth opens Tunnel Snake Leader. Butch. I gasp. He stares for a second and leaves the room.
"Oh no." I say. I get up start putting my bra and underwear on franticly. Freddie looks confused. And stares at me for a moment.

"I guess I deserved it. I mean he did have a thing for you, I learned that after you guys… uh fucked. But he was planning of fucking Susie, but I beat him to the punch." Butch says. I snap my head up.
"No fucking way. She was in love with Freddie why would she fuck you?" I ask. I cross my arms. He chuckles.
"She was convinced it would make him jealous. It did so well he did you." He says. I nod. Then I blush and laugh. "What?"
"Um, you guys became friends after a while… um did he ever talk about… well you know?" I ask. He laughs and nods.
"Well when we became cool, uh people in the group wanted to know details." He says. I stop him.
"No don't blame this on the group. You wanted to know the details." I smile. He smiles. And he nods.
"Okay, I did." He admits. I remember the sex. Even though what happened after wasn't the best it still was… amazing.

He gently pulled my hands away and kisses my breast. I close my eyes. He finishes taking off his underwear. We kiss when he is first in me. I pull away from his lips to gasp from the surprising tingling.
My back arches, my head tilts back and my hand grip the sheets so tight my fingers go numb. He gently rubs my thighs and the arch in my back. I grab his hair tug on it not too hard, but hard enough to let him know to keep going. When he finishes, I am out of breath. We don't break eye contact. He slides back up to me.

"From what hear you liked it." He says. I smile. I shake my head in disbelief that I am talking about my sex with Freddie. I sigh.
"This is… this is too fucking weird." I say. He laughs. I blush. I try to hide my face with my hands, but he pulls them away.
"Look he already told me everything, how long your nails were." He says. I shove him away playfully. He laughs.
"Jesus, didn't you were rough too." He says. I laugh, I couldn't help it, Butch is an annoying asshole but he is charming. I roll my eyes. But I know there something that he isn't telling me, but I decide to play with him. I look down coyly.
"So, uh… Freddie did like me?" I ask. Butch's smile fades and he nods. I bite my lip. "He didn't just want to fuck me there was more." I say. He nods. "Is it because of him that you stopped liking me?" I ask. He looks at me as if I said something completely out of context.
"What do you mean I stopped liking you I never said that." He says. My jaw drops. Fuck.
I remember how I felt when Butch yelled at me. How could he still like me after that?

He turns around. His face is full of fury and the tone of his voice is sharp like a knife. "Is that all you think about? You and your precious daddy? Do you ever think that a decision of yours can seriously fuck someone up?!" He yells. When he yells I look up worried of what he might do to me. I feel small and innocent like a doe being chased by a wolf. I think I can feel its claws on my heels.

"No."

"Well fuck." I say. He laughs. I narrow my eyes. Butch is still sitting on the ground where I shoved him.
"Well, since I told you a secret." He says. I look at him. "Tell me one."
I sigh.
"Like what? Besides are you ten? I will tell you if I want to tell you." I snap. I raise a brow. He smiles.
"Why did you keep that jacket?" he asks. My smile fades. I look down at my hands.
Because I missed you. It has your smell. It reminded me of home. Because I think I starting to feel things for you.
"Because the jacket is cool?" the answer is more like a question. He nods.
"Tunnel Snakes Rule." He says. He stands and walks over to me, sits next to me and takes my hand. I exhale. He gives me the charming smile.
"You can tell me." he says. We are close. I almost can't contain myself. My fists tighten. He leans closer. I shake my head.
"No." I say. He leans in, his lips by my ear.
"Come on." He begs. His fingers lightly touch my neck. I flinch away.
"Butch… I…" I stop. Why the hell should I stop? Why should I not do what I want for a change? Then I move closer beside him. "You want to know why I kept the jacket?" I ask. He smiles.
"Why?" he asks. My breath is unsteady and I feel like my lungs are slowing. I feel so scared. I don't think I ever told anyone I liked them.
"I like you." I say. I exhale. I close my eyes. "That sounds so fucked up." When I open my eyes he smiling looking down. I get up and run my fingers through my long dark hair. Then I hear him get up behind me. I feel his breath on my neck. The goosebumps flutter up my back and I exhale a cool breath of air.
He rubs his hands on my arms. I close my eyes I lean up against his chest. It's warm and comforting. I close my eyes. I feel one of his hands feel the curve in my spine and the other on my chest.
I link my fingers in the hand that is on my chest. I turn my head so my nose is touching his neck. I can smell his scent. Clean and fresh. The vault soap still lingers on his skin.
I see Butch looking at me with his gorgeous blue eyes. I think I could look in them forever. He leans in and places his lips upon mine. My mind goes blank and my legs feel weak.
But there is something I do feel, something that I haven't felt in a long time. My heart begins to beat for the first time since dad died, and I feel warm again.