Disclaimer: Don't own Castle boo!

A/N: So thank you to everyone who has reviewed, followed and favourited this story I am actually shocked it has gotten so many notifications already. I also fixed up chapter one so now its easier to read. I will hopefully have another update soon I just have a crazy hectic next three days uni, work oh and did I mention work! :( So anyway let me know what you think by pressing that review button :)

-Las Vegas Hotel

"So, Beckett?"

"Hmm"

They had just arrived at their hotel nothing to extravagant but still reasonably nice considering the NYPD did pay for it. "What do we do now? Poker…? Blackjacks…? Ooh! I know strip poker?" Castle had his typical smirk on his face and was now raising his eyebrows at Beckett.

Beckett let out a loud laugh "well for starters I just don't believe you could handle me in strip poker Castle…" the way Beckett said that to Castle made him tense up he nearly passed out from the lack of oxygen. "But as for now I'm going to bed so I'm prepared for tomorrow night".

Castle stood there still speechless he loved how she teased him it drives him crazy but he absolutely loves it. He watched Beckett make her way into her hotel room, they both had the same hotel room thankfully it was a two bedroom suite.

As Beckett closed the door behind her she leant against it closing her eyes reminiscing about that kiss well slight kiss, she hated how Castle made her feel but loved how he made her feel at the same time. She remembered her conversation with her mother when she was younger

."Katie, trust me you will know when you're in love because that's when all the songs make sense"

"I'm just scared he wouldn't feel the same mum I mean I'm nothing special just a nerdy high school student, I mean I don't even know how to tell him that I like him"

"I'm going to tell you something Katie, when I first saw your father it actually still feels like yesterday I was so scared but whenever I would listen to the radio all the love songs made me think of your father, of love. But I was petrified I was scared that he would never think of me the way I feel for him, so you know what I did I wrote a letter I wrote down everything I liked about him and the way he made me feel. I still have that letter I always carry it with me it's my reminder to not give up and to face everything no matter how scared we are. Trust me sweetie even if this boy is not the one you are an incredible young girl who will find her prince charming one day and you'll know when because he will treat you like no other, know when your sad, sick, happy or just need space he will also stand by you and protect you from everything. So when you find that one you hold onto him okay?"

"Thank you mum, I hope I have someone like you have dad one day"

Beckett just smiled at the memory she quickly wiped away the few tears that started to tremble down her cheeks her mother was always passionate about true love. Beckett grabbed out a small notebook from her suitcase and sat down on her bed she opened the notebook to find a spare page to her surprise she actually started writing straight away, if this didn't make that wall finally break down she didn't know what would and she was over wasting her time now she wanted this, she wanted to be Castles.

Richard Alexander Castle,

I am so sorry, so very truly sorry for lying to you I have never told you this and I pray that one day I will be able to say it to your face I just can't lose you Rick, but the day you asked me if I remembered anything and I said no I lied Rick I remember what you said I was so scared so incredibly scared that when you saw me in the hospital that you wouldn't feel that way anymore that maybe it was a spur of the moment because you believed I was dying. I just couldn't go through that pain of completely losing you if I was honest with you and told you that I love you too because believe me Rick I love you so much and I have for so long, my brain would just never take in consideration of my heart because I want this so badly I want us Rick always.

I love how you pull my piggy tails, how you managed to bring the light into my life before you came along I just saw work as well work I never enjoyed it I mean I found satisfaction within solving the crime but you, you just have this power where you can walk in out of nowhere after I have had a crappy, crappy start to the day and as soon as you pass me my coffee as cliché as it sounds but you truly brighten up my day.

There's just so many reasons why I need you in my life, some you aren't even aware I have never told you this but when my mother died I started reading your books they, you, your words they just they helped me through that dark time you don't know this but you started saving my life well before you entered the 12th and I will be forever grateful for that Rick you have no idea. I love how amazing you are with Alexis I have never seen a father so devoted to their daughter who would do just about anything for her no matter what, you should be so proud Rick because you have brought up such a wonderful beautiful daughter who I am so privileged and honoured to have been a part of her life over the past four years. As weird as it sounds I have looked up to you I just hope one day I if I am lucky enough I am just as good as a parent you are and a part of me really hopes that I can share that with you and only you.

I don't know if you remember but a few years back around the time we met, you asked me if I had ever been married, and I told you that I was more of a one-and-done type of girl and honestly at that time I just thought that you were this mega play boy page six kind of guy. But how wrong was I Rick you are one of the most incredible people I have met you have one of the biggest hearts, you are the kindest, generous oh and may I add ruggedly handsome too.

What I am trying to say and even though I cannot say this to your face yet I do hope not hope pray that one day soon my brain will finally shut up so I can follow my heart to you Rick because I love you and I want to have your babies and be pronounced Mrs. Castle I am just scared at the same time because I can't lose you Rick I don't think I could survive if someone took you from me like they took my mother I won't survive not if I lose you and I know that's why it's so hard for me to push through with you, us because I know the next time my heart breaks I don't think I could handle it I know I wouldn't but I want you Rick I just want you.

Love always,

Kate xx

As Beckett finished writing the two x's next to her name she no longer had control over her tears, she quickly ripped out the letter folded it up neatly before tucking it into her pocket. As she laid down she was surprised to how much at ease she had become she could finally sleep tonight apart of her believed it was because of Castle being in the room next to her but she also knew it was because she had finally opened up about her feelings for Castle. Granted she still has not told him she has taken one more step into getting closer to telling him and that's all she could hope for, for now.