They were rushing around each other as they got ready for work, Castiel for school. Neither said a word to the other as they were both running later than usual. It wasn't until Dean had opened the door that he stopped and looked at Castiel.
"Hey," the other man stopped as he threw on his coat, "about last night, I'm sorry…"
Castiel shushed him and stepped up close. "I know, it's fine." He smiled and pulled on the front of his shirt. Dean let himself be pulled into a short kiss. "Honestly." As Dean smiled in relief, Castiel dropped his hand.
"Good. Have fun in class."
"I will." Castiel gave Dean's butt a good smack as he stepped out the door. Dean turned with a 'hey!' and Castiel just smiled and shut the door.
He watched Dean get into his car as he grabbed his keys. He was leaving now as well, but he wasn't going to class. The students were taking a test today, one he didn't have to take, and he had other plans.
Castiel pulled into the parking lot across the street from the Crossroads Law firm. He made his way through the lobby and up to Sam's office. His receptionist, Meg, had to rudely tell him that Sam was busy, while flirting with him at the same time for a few minutes before caving and letting him go in.
Castiel knocked on the large door to Sam's office. Sam told him to come in and Castiel entered the room slowly. Sam was looking through some papers on his desk. He hadn't been there long and was still drinking the coffee Jessica had made for him. He looked up as he approached and smiled when he saw who it was.
"Cas, hey what's up? Is everything okay?"
"Yeah, everything's fine. I just wanted to talk to you about something." He sat in the chair across from Sam's desk.
Sam put his papers in a file so he could give his full attention to Castiel. "Sure."
"Dean won't talk about this with me and I know that you know something."
Sam looked wary. "What are we talking about, Cas?"
"I asked Dean about marriage and it led to a fight. I know he's keeping something from me and I can't wait for him to get over whatever is bothering him."
"Dean will be pissed if I tell you."
"I'll be pissed if you don't, and I'll go around the family until someone spills the beans." Sam still looked like he would refuse. "I know how much Dean cares and I can't imagine what he's gone through with me losing my memory but this isn't how it should be dealt with, and I think you agree." He could read as much on Sam's face.
"I told him not to hide anything from you." Sam sighed heavily, disheveling his hair with both hands. "What do you want to know?"
Castiel returned home from work that night with a lot more knowledge than he had when he left the house. Dean had been home long enough to shower and change before Castiel walked in the door.
"Hey, how was your class?" Dean ran his hands through his still wet hair. It was getting longer than he usually kept it.
"I didn't go to class." He kept his voice calm, wanting Dean to know that he wasn't joking.
Dean furrowed his brows. "What were you rushing around for this morning then?"
"I wanted you to think I was at school, but I had other plans today."
"What plans?"
"Sit down." He motioned to the table.
Dean smiled nervously. "Why?"
"I want to talk to you. Sit down." He moved to the chair on the opposite side of the table and stood waiting for Dean. The other man hesitated for a moment, not knowing what to expect and assumed the worst.
"Well, that doesn't sound ominous." Dean tried to smile as he sat across from Castiel.
Castiel sat down slowly, keeping eye contact with Dean. He took a deep breath and laid his hands on the table. "Dean, I'm sorry that you miss the part of me that I've forgotten. I wish I could give him back to you."
Dean closed his eyes and bowed his head. He thought he knew where this was going. Castiel had finally gotten tired of being pushed away and Dean had no one to blame but himself. "Cas, you don't have to say any more. I think I know what this is about." He looked up at him. "If you want to leave, I won't stop you."
Castiel tilted his head slightly. "What? Dean, I don't want to leave." He reached across the table and took Dean's hands in his. "I'm not going anywhere, I told you that."
Hope sparked in Dean, making him smile slightly. "What is this about then?"
"I know how much our accident hurt you and changed me. I want you to tell me why you blame yourself. No one else blames you, I don't, and you shouldn't."
Dean shook his head. "I was driving, I wasn't hurt as badly, of course I blame myself."
Castiel tightened his lips. "Tell me the truth."
"That is the truth."
"No it's not." He held Dean's hands tightly, not letting him pull away.
The look in Castiel's eyes let Dean know that he wasn't bluffing. He already knew the truth. "Why do you need me to tell you what you already know?"
"I want you to say it."
Dean stared at him, debating what he could do. Part of him wanted to run, part of him wanted to fight, but he didn't do either. He licked his lips and shifted in his chair. Castiel massaged his hands gently.
"It's my fault. We would have never been out that night if it wasn't for me. We should've been here. I would give anything to change what happened." Castiel nodded for him to continue. "We were on our way to get married that night. I had finally talked you into going to the courthouse. We should have waited."
They were silent a moment. Castiel continued rubbing small comforting circles into Dean's hands.
"Dean, you shouldn't feel that way. None of this was your fault. Nobody blames you."
"You wanted to wait. I made you go."
"I doubt that." Castiel scooted his chair around the table to sit beside Dean. "Do you really think you could make me do anything, then or now?" Dean shook his head slowly with a smile. "I know, now at least, that I would marry you under any circumstance. I wouldn't need a party or anything more than the two of us. If I feel that strongly now, a part of me had to before the accident. I'm still the same person and I went with you because I wanted to marry you, not because you forced me to go."
Castiel could see the rebuttal forming in Dean's eyes. He cupped Dean's face and leaned closer. "So stop blaming yourself and stop trying to protect me from things that only hurt you. I want to be with you, I choose it. Let me."
Dean swallowed back the sudden lump in his throat. He put his hands over Castiel's and touched their foreheads together. He could guess that Sam or his mom had told him. He wanted to be angry about it, but he couldn't find the strength.
They pressed together in a deep kiss. Dean pulled Castiel close by his hips. Castiel hummed and ran his fingers through Dean's hair, tugging slightly on the wet locks. Dean moaned and pressed harder into Castiel.
Castiel moved to kiss Dean's neck and ear. "I want you, Dean."
His voice made Dean shiver. Castiel continued kissing him. Dean nodded, grabbing Castiel's hips tight. "Yeah, okay." He kissed Castiel. "Anything you want, Cas."
He leaned back and looked Dean in the eye. "Really?" Dean nodded again. Castiel smiled and stood, taking Dean with him. He pulled him in for a kiss as he started walking back through the living room towards Dean's room.
They didn't break their kiss as they moved carefully through the doorway and over the mess of clothes on Dean's floor. Dean pulled Castiel closer with an arm around his hips, making the other man make a surprised noise into their kiss.
A few minutes passed of them kissing beside the bed. Then, Castiel turned them and shoved Dean to a sitting position on the edge of the mattress. He seated himself on Dean's lap and kissed him hard.
Dean curled his hands around the back of Castiel's shoulders, pressing them together. Castiel's hips rotated in slow circles as they kissed. Dean's heart was pounding in his ears and his body was reacting favorably to the nice weight of Castiel on him. He had missed this, although they had done similar things before, he knew this would end differently.
Castiel breathed out a short laugh when Dean pushed him forward with a hand on his butt. When Dean tried to start pulling off Castiel's shirt, he pushed him back to lay flat on the bed.
His stomach flipped slightly as Castiel took his hands and pinned them above his head, a smile on his face. He pushed his head up to meet Castiel in a kiss.
Castiel slipped his hands under Dean's shirt, pulling it up as far as he could before Dean had to sit up to remove it. He was pushed back down after Castiel tossed it to the floor. They kissed again as Castiel's hands roamed Dean's chest and stomach.
Dean gasped as Castiel lightly ran fingernails over sensitive skin. His hips thrusted up against Castiel before he could stop them. Castiel responded with a thrust of his own and a nip at Dean's neck. Dean tried to turn them over but was stopped with a push and a head shake from Castiel.
"Move up and take off your clothes." His deep voice sent a small shock through Dean and all he could do was nod in agreement.
Castiel stood and searched through the drawer next to the bed, knowing Dean had some lube there. He set it on the small table and took off his clothes.
Dean had positioned himself on the bed, leaning up on his elbows to watch Castiel make his way onto the bed. He crawled up his body slowly and kissed him. Castiel laid flat against him, rolling his hips enough to make Dean arch up and dig his fingers into Castiel's back.
Taking advantage of Dean's thrown back head, Castiel kissed his throat and collar bones. Dean sighed Castiel's name and gripped him tighter.
Castiel sat up to straddle him and rocked his hips over Dean's quickly hardening dick. Dean grabbed his hips, trying to move him faster, but Castiel continued his slow movements.
"Cas, please." Dean's toes curled and the urge to thrust up and fuck Castiel was growing.
He had some mercy on Dean and reached over to retrieve the lube he had left on the side table. He handed it to Dean. "Get me ready." Although Castiel had done this many times before, he didn't remember the particulars.
Dean nodded and popped open the tube. "Move up a little." He couldn't reach where he needed easily where Castiel was currently. Castiel moved up to straddle him around his ribs as Dean covered a couple fingers generously. He was a heavy weight on Dean's chest, but it didn't bother him.
Castiel clamped his eyes shut as Dean carefully inserted a finger into him. Dean told him to relax and let him adjust before moving his finger in and out slowly. Soon he added another and Castiel was moaning loudly and pushing back on Dean's fingers.
He begged for more and Dean added a third finger after adding more lube. Castiel cried out and grabbed Dean's hair to brace himself and thrust back. Dean curled his fingers, hitting his prostate, and Castiel bucked forward with a moan. He then reached back and stroked Dean in time with his movements.
"Dean, I'm ready." Castiel knew he wouldn't last long if Dean kept doing what he was doing.
Dean nodded and removed his fingers. He used more lube to coat himself with as Castiel moved into position above him. Castiel looked at Dean, waiting until he was ready and let Dean line himself up before lowering himself down. He went slow and groaned as he was filled more and more.
Once he was fully inside Castiel, Dean had to resist the urge to flip them and drive into Castiel hard. It had been a while since either one of them had done this and Castiel didn't even remember ever doing this, he had to be careful.
It didn't take long for Castiel's body to take over and start moving. His hands were on Dean's chest as he circled and lifted his hips. Dean laid his hands on him to help guide his speed and moves.
Dean whispered encouragements and moaned when he would change pace or angle of his thrusts. It didn't take long for Dean to start pushing up against him and striking his prostate. Castiel clenched around Dean as pleasure shot through him, making Dean see stars and arch up.
Castiel took Dean's hands, weaving their fingers together, and moved faster. The bed creaked and shook as Castiel chased release. Both men were lost in their coming orgasms, tightening their hands together, and gasping each other's names. Castiel leaned over to kiss Dean, moaning with the new angle and feeling it gave him.
"Fuck, Cas." Dean wanted to wrap his arms around Castiel but his hands were still entwined with Castiel's. He moaned again as Castiel nipped his ear and licked around its shell. "I love you."
Castiel looked at Dean with surprise in his eyes before kissing him hard and picking up the pace even more. They stayed close, sharing breath, when Castiel's grip tightened more and he moaned loudly, coming over Dean's stomach. He kissed Dean as his come covered Dean and his body tightened and shook with release.
It was all more than enough to send Dean over the edge and come hard in Castiel. Both of them caught their breath and let their bodies relax. When Castiel released Dean's hands, he rubbed Castiel's sides comfortingly and kissed him.
"You okay?" Dean could feel him shaking.
He nodded. "Yeah, I just…give me a minute." Castiel took a few deep breaths before moving off Dean to lie beside him.
"You know," Dean looked at his soiled stomach, "I just took a shower, Cas."
"I know." He smiled at him. "But I haven't, and we might as well conserve water." Dean looked at him and he raised his eyebrows suggestively.
Dean laughed. "It would only be economical, right?"
They moved off the bed a few minutes later to take a long, hot shower that ended with Castiel screaming and coming over the tiled walls as Dean fucked him. This of course, led to a longer shower. By the time they were ready for bed, they both collapsed together on Dean's bed and fell asleep almost immediately.
The following morning, Dean told Castiel that it was stupid for him to have to sleep in his own room since he spent half his nights with him anyway. Castiel agreed and moved his stuff back to Dean's room after he got home from work that night. It was a good step forward for them and Dean almost felt like they were getting close to being like they were before the accident. There was just one more thing he needed to do before that happened.
A couple days after moving rooms, Castiel came home early from work and Dean was still in the shower. He saw the difference almost immediately. With slow steps, like it could dissolve if he made a noise, Castiel moved to the living room and the shelf near the television. A line of pictures in wooden frames filled the shelf. There had only been a couple there when he left for school.
Castiel picked up each one and smiled more with each picture. There were some with Castiel and Dean's parents at various events: sporting events, graduation, and what looked like a Christmas party. There were also pictures of him and Dean together on dates and at Sam's wedding. Castiel had seen most of those on Facebook.
The last picture on the shelf was him and Dean in their tree house from when they were teenagers. He looked a little annoyed at having his picture taken, but Dean had his arm around him with a dazzling smile.
He was so busy looking at the picture that he missed Dean walking towards him. He jumped slightly when Dean put his arms around his waist. Dean kissed the back of his neck and smiled.
Castiel turned to face him after putting the picture back. He wanted to say something, but he couldn't find the words so he pulled him close and kissed him. Dean got the message.
"So, what should we have for dinner?" Dean stepped back, holding Castiel's hands loosely.
Castiel smiled and told him to make whatever he wanted. Now it seemed like they could finally put everything behind them and move forward together. They weren't hiding anything from each other and they could forget about the accident and truly be happy.
Dean woke up slowly. The room was dim with early morning sunrise and the covers were warm over him. The man next to him warmed him just as much. Castiel was sleeping quietly, curled up close to Dean. He smiled and ran a hand through Castiel's hair, making the man stir slightly. Dean leaned over and kissed him softly, running his hand over Castiel's cheek.
Castiel made a small noise and cracked an eye open. He smiled at Dean, closing his eyes again. He didn't want to get up yet.
"You know what today is?" Dean couldn't keep the excitement out of his voice. Castiel laughed, keeping his eyes shut.
"I do." He sighed happily when Dean kissed him again. His hands held Dean close so he could kiss him again. The kiss escalated quickly and Dean was on top of Castiel, hands tangling in his shirt.
Castiel broke the kiss and pushed Dean back a little. "Dean…"
"What?" He shifted above Castiel to keep his weight off him. "We have time."
"Isn't that breaking the tradition?"
"When have we ever been any kind of traditional?" He laughed. "We already spent the night together and live together, so wedding tradition already broken." He pushed down to kiss Castiel while he tried to protest.
"We still need to get ready."
Dean hummed in mild agreement and kissed him again. "We have time."
"Dean…" Castiel sighed, knowing he would give in soon. It was still only seven, they did have time. He wrapped his arms around Dean, pressing them together tightly. Yeah, they had plenty of time for this.
They left the house a few hours later. Dean hesitated before getting in the Impala. Castiel noticed the small fear in Dean's eyes. He walked over and laid a hand on his shoulder.
"Everything okay?"
Dean looked at Castiel as memories of the accident surfaced. He couldn't help but feel like it would happen again. He tried to smile and nodded. "I'm fine."
Castiel could see what this was about. "Dean, it's been a year since the accident. Just because we're going to the same place, doesn't mean anything. We'll be fine and when we come home, we'll be married." He cupped Dean's cheek and kissed him.
Dean felt a small comfort at Castiel's words. It didn't take all his nerves away for the drive over but it helped.
They were greeted at the courthouse by Sam and a very pregnant Jess. She was due in a couple months and Dean smiled widely when he was reminded of his approaching nephew. They all went inside where Dean's parents were waiting for them.
The ceremony was short but enough to send Mary into tears. After signing the paperwork, they all headed to the hall where their friends were gathering for the reception Castiel and Sam had planned. Jo, Ellen, and Bobby greeted them with tight hugs and all seemed right with the world.
Dean and Castiel danced like drunk fools again as the night darkened. The reception lasted well after midnight and they had to force people to leave so the poor employees could clean up the room.
They fell through their front door laughing and already pulling off each other's suit jackets. It was clumsy and they couldn't stop laughing, but they managed to make it to their room and tumble into bed together.
Dean lifted Castiel's hand and kissed his ring, eyes shining happily. "I love you, Cas."
Castiel smiled. "I love you too, Dean."