Not Quite Human
Thoughts
Alternate/Mask Speech
Speech
Disclaimer: I only own my OC's. The song is Sex on the Phone by E-Rotic. And yes D actually has an online blog if anyone's bored enough just remove the spaces.
Dremoras not quite human .tumblr .com
Chapter 26: Meet the Creeper
I quickly turned to see who was behind me and I tensed up seeing the tall man towering over me. His green hair seemed to catch the early morning light and drew my eyes to it. I tried to rip my eyes from his hair to take in the rest of him. His yellow skin seemed inhuman and he was naked save for the tight green and black striped Speedo and red almost mane like boa wrapped around his shoulders. He also had red fur lined almost clawed gloves on his hands and calf high boots on his feet.
"Like what you see?" He purred and grinned big showing far too many teeth for my liking. He seemed very…creepy. I tried to back away from him but he gripped my shoulder tighter and leaned close almost as if he were trying to stare through my mask at me. Finally he just lifted the mask up and I let out a shocked gasp as he pressed his nose to mine and just stared into my eyes. "Oh my you are a pretty one. Care to give me an exclusive interview." He began laughing and he licked my cheek before freezing and licking his lips. "Oooh minty!" I pulled away from him and set my mask back on my face so I could see him clearly again.
"What the hell are you? And don't do that again!" I hastily yelled at him and he just tilted his head to the side and stared down at me.
"Oh I've been called many things; wacky yellow skinned crazy man, stalker, and mister oh god don't touch me there…but you can call me Creeper." He stalked forward and grabbed my arm before I could flee holding onto me tightly.
"Now what should I call you my little green skinned minty treat." He giggled and tried to lick me again. I slashed at him with my claws but he pulled back before I could hit him. "Oh come now I haven't even gotten to the part where you claw me yet." I paled under my mask and tried to rip my arm from his grasp.
"Listen Creeper," He tilted his head to the side as if he were trying to pay close attention. "Why don't you just go your way and I'll go flee in the opposite direction and we try to never see each other again?" I finally pulled free from him and he stumbled a bit as if he weren't expecting such strength from me. His grin grew and his eyes seemed to light up as he tried to pounce on me. I dodged and ran to the side of the building ready to throw myself off the edge and start trying to jump to freedom.
"Oh come to Creeper you tasty little thing I want to see if all of you is mint flavored!" He cackled and I jumped from his grip again and managed to slice his arm leaving shallow scratches behind. He frowned and stared at his arm as if he were surprised that he was injured. "Hey now that wasn't nice I haven't even gotten you naked yet." He cackled and reached for me but I managed to dodge out of his grasp again. Just before I threw myself off the building I heard him giggle and speak again. "So does this hat make me look fat?"
"What?" I turned and froze seeing Edward's hat sitting on his spiky green hair and he was posing as if he were in the middle of a photo shoot. I saw red and jumped at him trying to get the hat back. He easily dodged me and was on the other side of the roof before I could blink.
"Give that back it doesn't belong to you!" I hissed at him and he just laughed and started dancing with the hat on.
"Oh and who does it belong to? It smells like a mans hat not sexy and minty like you." He giggled and bounced around taunting me.
"It belongs to my man now give it back." I rushed at him but he just bounded out of the way and seemed to be thinking for a moment.
"Oh let's play a game! If you win I'll give the hat back but if I win," He started speaking using a sing song type voice. "I get to keep you and lick all the minty skin I want!" He giggled wildly and licked his lips as his wild eyes scanned my suit almost as if he could see through it.
"Just give me back the hat!" I didn't want to risk losing his game but I wanted Edward's hat back before this freak broke it.
"Just catch me and you win the game. Now 3, 2, 1...Go!" He jumped off the roof and started bounding from building to building. My eye twitched and without a second thought I started chasing him.
"Oh god I'm going to kill him!" I hissed as I chased him around the city from building to building. Everything was hurting and I think I pulled something in my leg and it was hurting with every movement I made. I nearly missed my next jump when the radio in my mask kicked on and Max's voice called out.
"Shit D get home now! Someone saw you jumping and posted the video on youtube! Bernard and the bat are gonna be out like friggin wasps pretty damn quick!" He sounded frantic and I groaned.
"Max I've got to finish what I started! I just can't leave…"
"No time D get back here or I'm packing up all our stuff and moving to Canada or something." He was starting to have a panic attack and I sighed before quickly abandoning the chase and hurrying home. I got back and quickly walked in and I nearly got a pan to the face for my efforts.
"Gah! What the the hell Max!" I backed up into the wall and winced as my whole body felt as if it were on fire.
"Damn it D I thought that you were the bat or some cops or something. I was worried as all hell!" He quickly dropped the pan and ran over to give me a big hug. I groaned and tried to get away from him without slicing him up with my claws. He wouldn't let go so I finally just went limp and let him get his hugs out.
"I'm fine Max. I'm tired as all hell though and I think I might have picked up a stalker."
"Wait what?" He nearly dropped me and I got to my feet shakily.
"Some dude who calls himself the Creeper tried to take me out." I groaned and took my mask off to rub my eyes with the back of my hand.
"The Creeper? Dude sounds like a rapist to me." Max huffed and I actually laughed.
"Dude probably is, hey I'm gonna pass out for awhile…think you can find out anything on him for me? I really wanna know what I'm dealing with."
"Sure D, hey what happened with that big question mark you found, did you find Riddler there?"
"He'd been there but not recently." I sighed sadly as I trudged to my room. I'm guessing that Max knew how upset I was as he stayed quiet and didn't say another word. I collapsed onto my bed after stripping off my suit and slipping into some pj's. I don't know how long I was asleep but I awoke to Max poking me in the leg.
"Hey D? D? Hey D?" He whined and I groaned and peeked out from under my pillow at him.
"What?" I barked at him and he looked at me sheepishly.
"D I'm bored wanna play some Uno?" He held up a deck of Uno cards and I sighed as I grabbed my glasses off the nightstand. I slipped them on and sat up.
"Do we at least have coffee?" I sighed and tugged at my hair and he nodded and smiled big.
"Hell yea we have coffee. I'm gonna go clear off the table and get the cards ready. He ran off and I sighed. God that guy must be bored out of his mind to bring out Uno cards. Especially after last time. I got up out of bed and didn't bother to change and just padded out into the kitchen in my green pajama bottoms and red t-shirt. I poured myself a cup of coffee and drank about three cups before I was awake enough to deal with Max. I plopped down at the table and he dealt the cards and I groaned hoping he would be happy with just one game.
"Max that cards red you can't put a red card on a green." I tried to give him my best don't bullshit me stare on my face but he just ignored it.
"I just did." He huffed.
"Max this is Uno." I growled.
"And?"
"Take it off and put a green one down." My eye twitched. The card not only was red but it wasn't even the same number as the green one.
"Make me." He just grinned at me and leaned back in his chair.
"Max…" I hissed at him and bared some fang.
"Fine! God you're whining just like Edward did that time I tried wearing his shoes that one day!" He grabbed the card off the pile and put it back in his deck before slapping a green one down.
"…" My eyes teared up at the thought of my Edward and Max saw this and groaned.
"D…common I…I didn't mean it." He sighed and rubbed his forehead for a moment. "D we gotta get some new blood around here. I'm by myself and I'm going crazy just being here alone. I need someone to talk to until I get my Randi back."
"What do you want me to do Max? Hold open interviews for henchmen?" I sighed and slapped another card down.
"I don't know D…can we even do that?" He looked confused and drew a few cards until he could put one down. "How would we even advertise? Not like we can just put an ad in the Gotham times."
"What about online?" I winced after I thought about it. "Wait no…the bat's probably scouring the net as it is trying to find us."
"Didn't stop you from updating your blog." He huffed and I stared at him in shock.
"How do you know about that?" I groaned. If Max knew about it then chances were good that the Batman knew about it too. Was probably watching us hoping that we'd lead him right to my guys.
"D you didn't bother to log out or close your laptop before you left. Anyways as long as you don't start posting pics of our hideout or bragging about where we are we should be fine."
"No we won't Max, or did you forget that Batman and Bernard can track us through the net." I slapped myself in the face for being so careless. What would Edward think if he knew I was keeping a blog online? I hung my head and sipped my coffee.
"Oh relax D just draw four." He slapped a card down and my eye twitched. God I hated Uno.
Finally after what seemed like hours I got fed up with Uno and Max retreated to his room to catch a few hours of sleep. I was on my third pot of coffee and getting a bit twitchy. I grabbed the microphone to the karaoke microphone and turned the machine on. I sighed as I was missing performing so much I was just going to sing to myself for a bit. I giggled when I came across a few sex based songs and I just clicked on one and waited while the music keyed up.
Sex on the phone
I'm so alone
Some sex on the phone
I need it so
Okay, I do what you'll say
Come on
Just make me fly
Just make me cry
Just make me come
And get me high
Baby, lead on number one
And we'll have a lot of fun
Baby, tennant number two
And I tell you what to do
Baby, lead on number three
Feel my hand out on your knee
Baby, baby, just relax
Max will give you telephone sex
Sex on the phone
I'm so alone
Some sex on the phone
I need it so
Okay, I do what you'll say
Come on
And give me
Sex on the phone
So I can feel
Your sex on the phone is really real
Your touch, I want it so much
I want sex on the phone
Just make me fly
Just make me cry
Just make me come
And get me high
Ahhh, Ahhh
Baby, lead on number four
Don't you platter on the floor
Baby, lead on number five
Make your feelings come alive
Baby, lead on number six
And I know you know the tricks
Don't want you to get perplex
Just enjoy the telephone sex
I sighed and stared at the empty room around me after the song finished and I felt empty inside. I missed the applause and the feeling of just being up on stage and playing my heart out to a crowed and feeling the energy of the room. I fell to my knees and held back a sob as I missed everything. I missed my sister, I missed my men, and I missed my gigs. I didn't miss Bernard though, he was replaceable and could go to hell for all I cared. I turned off the machine and tossed the microphone off to the side before wrapping my arms around myself and trying not to let Max hear me cry.
I wiped my eyes and sniffled as I walked to my room to clean myself up. I held back another sob as my emotions were just going wild at the moment. I wanted to punch something and I wanted to be held and rocked like a small child. I wanted to lift up a car and just smash it around until I threw my back out again. I knew that I was in no shape to do most of those things and if I went into Max's room I'd probably regret it in the morning. I sat on the edge of my bed and sighed. I needed to do something, anything but what?
I groaned as I got online and got on and surfed a bit until I got the nerve to post an ad. 'Seeking some men for…" I paused to think. 'Help with general labor and personal protection…payment negotiable.' I bit my lip and posted the ad with the number to a disposable cell phone and groaned hoping that I'd at least get some hits that were usable. I didn't feel too comfortable that this was going to work so I just let out a sigh and turned off my computer.
I don't remember passing out in the rafters but I woke up when I tried to roll over and fell about twelve feet to the ground. Oh god that was quite the wake up. I groaned and rubbed my head as Max ran out of his room in nothing but a pair of sweatpants and brandishing a baseball bat. He blinked when he saw me lying on the floor and I just growled at him.
"Say anything and I will hang you from the rafters by your feet." He just looked up at the rafters then back down at me and seemed to be trying to hold back a giggle. I sighed and got to my feet and rubbed my aching back. Both Max and I jumped in shock when the disposable phone we had started ringing and I just stared at it.
"So um…D are you gonna answer that?" Max just pointed at the phone with the bat and I shook my head.
"Like hell I am you go answer it." I licked my fangs nervously as Max grabbed the phone and answered it. After a few moments he just ended the call and sighed.
"You put an ad out online looking for workers didn't you?" He turned to face me and looked a bit perturbed.
"Well…yes. I didn't put down anything specific though so no one should know it's for us." I nervously bounced from foot to foot and he sighed.
"I'm going to go get some more coffee and meet with the guy who just called." Max rubbed his eyes tiredly. "Hopefully this doesn't blow up in our faces and you end up back in Arkham."
"Okay…I'll stay here and just hang out." I bit my lip and he nodded and trudged back into his room. I let out the breath I'd been holding and made my way back to my room. A shower sounded really good right now and it should help me calm down until we had a fresh pot of coffee brewing.
My eyes snapped open as a blast of cold water jolted me out of my comfy dream land. I looked at the blurry world around me and groaned. Did I just…fall asleep in the shower? I hadn't done that in years. I turned the now cold water off and made sure that I didn't have any shampoo or anything left in my hair then grabbed for a fluffy towel and wrapped it around myself. I dried my hair and slipped my glasses back on before padding out to my room, drying off, debating about going out jumping, giving up on said idea and just slipping on some clothes instead.
"Hey D I'm home!" Max's voice rang out from the other room and I rushed out to help him with the bags and froze. There looked to be some kind of teenage looking kid peeking out from behind Max looking both shocked and terrified at the same time. I just looked to Max and he gave me a crooked smile as if he were nervous as well. "Oh D this is um…what was your name again?"
"M-Marshall. Marshall L-l-lemmings." The kid stuttered out and just stared wide eyed at me.
"Um hello Marshall…what bring you here today?" I had no idea what to say. Max went out to interview potential new goons and he came back with a kid. This wasn't the greatest start to my own criminal empire.
"Well he recognized me on the street then stalked me around for awhile and started making a fuss so I kinda offered him a job to shut him up." Max chimed in when Marshall just stared at me silently again. Max quickly headed to the kitchen area to unpack the bags in his arms and Marshall just kind of shook like a small dog as his eyes darted around.
"Marshall?" I tried to sound as harmless as I could but the kid still jumped and grabbed his heart as if I'd thrown a car at him. I took a moment to take in the kids looks. He seemed to be about fifteen with dark hair and grey eyes. He had on a nice pair of black dress pants and a light blue shirt under his black jacket. He looked like he had been playing hooky from one of the private schools as he still had his book bag slung over his left shoulder. He looked a bit pale so I took a few steps towards him.
"I can't believe I'm really here…I'm standing in the warehouse of Dremora." He took a shaky breath. "I-I-I can't believe it. I'm working for the rocker turned rogue demon woman who can throw cars at people."
"Hey that was only the one time and the creep deserved it!" I groaned and rubbed my eyes as I knew that I would never live down that one moment of pure rage. I gasped when I felt something poke me and I snapped back to attention to see Marshall poking me in the ribs as if I were some kind of exhibit at the zoo.
"I don't remember you being this…green before. A-a-are you a-a-a-alright?" I took a breath and held back the urge to push him away and have Max take him home.
"Yes I'm fine and no I will not talk about it." I narrowed my eyes a bit and he jumped back as if I'd bitten him.
"Y-yes ma'am." He clutched the strap on his bag tightly and looked like he was about ready to pass out at any moment.
"Marshall do your parents know where you are right now?" I really didn't wanna drag a kid this young into the criminal underground.
"I don't have any parents…I-I live at the St. Mary's home for boys out on the east side of Gotham. The nuns don't know I skipped out yet. At least I hope they don't." He groaned and ran a hand through his hair and I was about to send him off when he looked up at me again. "You're not gonna send me back are you? I mean I wanna work for you and help you out and stuff but if you send me back then, well, I won't be able to." He gave me his best puppy dog eyes and I choked on my words.
"You're telling me that you are an orphan who ran away from his home to join the Gotham criminal underground. Not only that but you want to live here, with Max and I?" I had a really, really bad feeling about this. Wasn't this kinda considered kidnapping even if the kid willingly followed Max home?
"Well yea. I mean I'll behave and I can help you out with stuff if you don't think I can handle bank jobs or anything like that. I'm really good with computers and I can hot wire electronics and make grenades and stuff." He instantly went from frightened puppy to 'oh my god let me show you what I can do' excited.
"Wait you can make a grenade? I've gotta call bullshit on that." I crossed my arms over my chest and Marshall blushed dark.
"Well they're not like the grenades that the cops or the army use. They're more of like flash bottle bombs, and I can make some that smoke a bit too." He looked downright adorable as he tried to defend himself.
"D just let the kid stay, he knows where we live and I don't feel like disposing of a body right now." Max called out from the kitchen and I swear that Marshall's face paled enough to make a ghost jealous.
"Oh god why not?" I threw my hands up into the air. "Let's just start adopting kids and have them do all the dirty work for us." I felt like breaking something and I had to stop and take a deep breath. I looked back at Marshall and he was staring at me with wide eyes.
"You'd…you'd adopt me?" He seemed to be in awe and I freaked out and shook my head while waving my arms out in front of me.
"Whoa calm it down kid, I never said anything like…oomph!" I gasped when he tackled me and clung tightly.
"Oh I swear I'll do everything I can to make you proud! I'm gonna go find an empty room and set some of my stuff up!" He took off into the hideout and my eye twitched as I turned to gape at Max who looked just as shocked as I did.
"Max…" I trailed off and he just shook his head.
"D I'm not touching that one with a ten foot pole. I just hired him to work for us you're the one who threw out the 'a' word in front of an orphan."
"I didn't know he was an orphan!" I whined and started pacing across the floor. "Oh god…please, please tell me we at least have coffee now."
"Oh about that, well there was a cop at the grocery store so I kinda just grabbed some tea and took off." He rubbed the back of his neck and I turned to glare at him.
"Tea…Tea! Why the hell would you grab tea?" I was seeing red and desperately needing my caffeine fix right about now.
"Well the kid was badgering me and the cop started to notice so I just grabbed what I could and took off with him." Max sighed and I swear that if looks could kill Max would be on fire and running around screaming at that moment. I closed my eyes and turned my face towards the ceiling as I slowly counted to ten in my head. I didn't feel any better when I opened my eyes but I was at least going to let Max live for another day, but hell I needed a drink right about then. Something strong to cloud my head and help ease the throbbing of my now stressed mind.