A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.
Another month and a half had passed us by and I can't help but realise how big Johnathan has grown. Rocking the baby in my arms, he continued to shriek out with a red face. Reaching up with his stubby fingers, he wrapped them into a lock of my brown hair and pulled. Quickly untangling them with a wince, I pushed my hair behind my shoulder before picking up the bag James had packed for the baby.
Pulling the strap onto my shoulder, I made my way out to the kitchen. James had already left for his morning run with Steve and so I'm left alone for a few hours. Mentally checking a list I'd made, I placed the bag into the back pouch of the stroller before tucking Johnathan in his seat. I'd made an appointment with the doctor today.
It seems that no matter what I try to do, Johnathan won't stop crying and it's been this way for three days straight. At first I thought it was usual. He has his moment and then he's fine, but this time is different. He looks as if he's in pain and I can't manage to find anything physically wrong. I decided that if he didn't stop by this morning, then I'd take him to see Cho.
Pushing the stroller down the hall, I opened the glass door of the medical room and headed in "Good morning" I announced while clipping the brakes and giving the doctor a smile.
"Morning. How has he been?" she asked while snapping on a pair of white gloves "I see he still hasn't stopped crying" shaking my head, I took Johnathan and positioned him so that Cho can get a clear view. Bending down, she examined his tiny body "Has he been eating normal?"
"Usually. Sometimes he's crying too much and I can't get him to stop" I frowned at the site of his little face turning pink again as he clutched his fingers and kicked his legs "Is it something I gave him?" I asked curiously, hoping this isn't my fault.
"I don't think so. But I do know he's hit his three month mark" she stated whilst looking into the babies month "By what I can see he's teething. It's completely normal at this age. A simple solution would be to get Bonjela from the store, or teething necklaces. It'll take away the pain and make him more comfortable. Also, no more breast feeding"
I nodded my head with a relieved sigh "Okay. That's good"
Giving me a smile, Cho took off her gloves "How have you been? Getting enough sleep?"
"As much as possible. It's hard some night. He wakes up four or five times"
"Having a baby isn't easy. It takes team work" sitting Johnathan back into the stroller, I grabbed the handle and unhooked the brakes. He seems to have calmed down a little.
"I'm glad I had Johnathan. There's just times where I think I'm not ready" I said while looking down. Having this baby has put some pressure on me these last few months. Between no sleep and no time to myself, I can feel my personal bubble slowly shrivelling away.
"For someone who thinks that, you're doing an amazing job" I gave the doctor a smile "Take a night off. I'm sure Wanda won't mind babysitting for a few hours. Have some times for yourself. Trust me, you'll feel better afterwards"
I nodded "I'll think about it, but thank you for everything"
Parting ways, it was rather coincidental that Cho had mentioned Wanda. After the appointment we'd organised to have lunch together at the park. Nice and quiet. Wheeling the stroller down the hall, we headed down to the main Lobby where the Sokovian stood waiting with a picnic basket in hand "Ready?" she asked, to which I nodded. Walking together we headed down the road "How was the appointment?"
"Good" I replied "Nothing seriously wrong, he's just teething. You don't mind if we stop at the shop do you?"
"Of course not"
Passing a few more places, I left Wanda with Johnathan in the stroller while I went inside. Turning my head, I hoped Cassidy isn't working today and I'm glad to not see her familiar face in site. Searching the isles for the gel as well as more formula, I finally found the items and paid at the counter. Coming outside and tucking away the bag in the back, I gestured and Wanda happily pushed the stroller. I know she likes to do it.
Continuing on our walk, we made our way onto the grassy field and sat down. Helping her with the setup, I fluffed the red picnic blanket she'd brought and laid it onto the ground. Sitting down, Wanda opened the containers of food in her basket and handed me a small plate. Sitting there in the warm bask of sun light, we talked about an array of things.
"How are you and Vision getting along?"
"Were doing well. It's complicated some days, but were managing" she said with a smile. Biting into an almond, I looked over at Johnathan as he sucked on a bottle I'd prepared for him "And you and James? Have you spent any time together other than in the apartment?"
I shook my head "No, not since he was born. We have our own complications. I'm too busy fussing over the little one or too tired. We've stopped having dinner together. We usually sit by ourselves now. I know James gets restless with it all. He helps, but I know he wants more"
"More?" she questioned "He has everything he could ever want. A beautiful partner and a healthy child. I know that isn't a possibility with me and Vision, but we've both made peace with the fact. Were happy with just ourselves. Every relationship has their ups and downs, but you make the most of what you have. Although, I understand being a parent must be hard"
"As I knew it would be. I wasn't sure if I wanted Johnathan, but I knew James did and that it would make him happy. Now that he's here, I think he's realised there's more to it than he thinks. I'm always the one looking after Johnathan while he and Steve go out together, which is another think I've noticed. James isn't around as much as he used to be"
"Have you talked to him?" she asked while taking a sip of her water.
"No, I haven't. I've tried to, but I know it's only going to end in an argument. I don't bother anymore" I replied "Cho said I should take some time off for myself, but I hate leaving Johnathan alone and I doubt the time would make a difference"
"I can watch him, it's no trouble. Maybe you shoulder have dinner with each other. Be together. He's probably restless after all those months of your pregnancy" I almost chocked a little before covering my mouth. Wanda laughed at the site.
"I'm sure it's not that. Everything in that area, I think is fine" I replied. Sitting in silence for a moment, I stared at the lake a few meters away before admitting "Okay, you may be right"
"I knew it" she exclaimed before clasping her hands together.
"It isn't my fault, it's –"
"The baby's?" she finished with an arched brow.
"It doesn't happen often, twice, and barely. I swear he just knows and then he screams. By the time I finish calming him down the moods gone and were back to being in our own solitary space in the apartment"
"Drop Johnathan off tonight and have dinner with James. I'm sure it'll patch a lot of things and give you freedom for a night"
Thinking about it for a moment, I nodded "Alright, I'll drop him off this afternoon" finishing our lunch, I helped with the picnic stuff before we made our way back to the Tower. Heading up the elevator, we stepped out "Is five-thirty alright?"
"Perfect" she replied.
Parting ways and heading back to the apartment, I parked the stroller in the corner. Picking up the bag of items from the shop, I placed it on the bench where I saw James' keys and wallet sitting in the bowel. I heard him coming down the hallway and he went straight for Johnathan "How's my baby boy?" he cooed before picking him up "How did his check-up go? Everything alright?"
"Yeah" I replied while holding up the gel "He's teething, so I think from now on its formula. I got a few more containers while I was out" putting the tins into the cupboard, I grabbed and unboxed the Bonjela.
"Probably better we use the formula anyway"
My brows knitted at the response. Since when does he worry about what I feed the baby "Why?" I asked while reading the directions. It says just to rub it on the gums.
"Apparently it could be bad to give him breast milk. The toxins from your body could be in it"
"Are you saying I'm toxic?"
"I'm just saying" he said in defence "I read it online somewhere. It's a good change"
Putting an amount onto my finger, I didn't argue about the situation "Can you hold him still?" leaning over I rubbed the gel onto his gums. Making a few whimpering sounds, Johnathan started to calm down afterwards. Grabbing the baby bag from the stroller I started unpacking it in the kitchen "Are you doing anything tonight?"
"Whys that?"
"I was thinking I could drop off Johnathan with Wanda and we could, have a night alone. Dinner?" I suggested. Putting my hands on my waist, I stood waiting for his answer.
"Dinner?" he questioned as if it were strange "Tonight?"
"Yes" I nodded "Is that okay?"
Scratching the back of his neck with his free hand, James continued to rock the baby "Sure. Yeah, that would be great"
Nodding my head, we both stood with some awkward tension. Looking around, I headed down the hallway not knowing what to do. Having a shower and getting dressed, I came back into the living room to see James sitting on the couch watching television alone "He fell asleep" I said.
James looked down at his son "I'll go put him to bed"
Standing in the middle of the apartment, I'd never felt more out of place than I do now. After looking at the clock, I decided to start making dinner. Nothing too fancy, but enough to make it look as if I'd put in some effort. Once the time rolled over to five-thirty and James continued to sit on the couch, I grabbed a now wide awake Johnathan from his cot and sat him in the stroller.
"I'm just dropping him off. I'll be back soon" I said before grabbing Johnathan's overnight bag and heading over to Wanda's.
Knocking on the familiar door, I waited a minute before the Sokovian gave me a large smile "Please come in" opening the door wider, I pushed the stroller.
"Alright" I said while setting the bag down onto the table. I pointed to explain "Diapers are in here as well as formula. Use two scoops and he likes it like warm. The bottles are in here. He likes birds and bird sounds and being rocked. The Bonjela is in this pocket, just rub a little bit on his gums and he'll be okay. If you need to change him, make sure to use the cream and powder, he gets a rash otherwise – and I think that's it. Oh, and the pacifiers and toys are in here"
Wanda gave a light chuckle "Don't worry, everything will be alright" she said with a smile "Have a good night"
"Thank you, again" I said before giving Johnathan a kiss and heading back to the apartment.
After preparing the rest of dinner and plating it up, James had made the table. Sitting down we had a few candles and glass of wine; he has beer. Sipping away, we ate quietly and awkwardly. Not at all relaxing or romantic. Leaning back in my chair with my glass of wine in hand, I found James staring at me.
"What?" I asked.
"Why do you want to be alone all of a sudden, and with a romantic dinner" he said with a gesture of his knife to the candles.
"I just thought it would be nice to spend some time together"
Sipping my wine, it's my six glass for the night and I'm starting to feel the tingle in my fingers. Getting up from his chair, James walked over to a vinyl recorder and placed in a disk. Coming back over, I heard the sound of jazz music waft through the air. Standing before me, he held out his hand for me to take.
"Dance with me" he said.
I'm sure it was supposed to be more of a question rather than a demand. Taking another mouthful of my drink, I eyed him up and down. My mind is going hazy and I began wondering what exactly he's up to. We rarely talk to each other and now he wants to suddenly dance. It seem miraculous. James sighed before prying my glass away from my hands.
"Stop drinking and dance with me" setting down the glass he took my hand and tugged me up from my seat to lead me into the living room.
Pulling me toward him, I bumped into his chest. I'm not too accurate with my footing as of now. Listening to the soft jazz, we started to gently sway and his hands rested on my waist "I don't know what I'm doing" I mumbled.
"Well, I happen to be a great teacher"
I can feel the rumble of his voice coming from within his chest. Resting my cheek against it, the warmth of his body calmed me. Swaying back and forth, it's all starting to feel nice and relaxing. The awkwardness from before is ebbing away and I'm relaxing, maybe a little too much. Falling asleep, I almost dropped to the floor but James caught me.
"Am I really that boring?" he jested.
"Sorry" I mumbled in reply. Standing up straight, I braced the palm of my hands on his chest to steady myself "James"
"Yeah" he said
Reaching up, I wrapped my arms around his neck and tugged him down for a rough kiss. Returning the favour, heat rose between my thighs but was quickly cut short when he pulled away "Alright, I think you should go to bed. Come on" he said while tugging me, but I didn't budge.
Shaking my head, I went to kiss him again but he moved out of the way. He's being confusing. One minute he wants to do it anywhere and everywhere with no care of who's around or if their crying, but now suddenly he's acting as if he doesn't like it "Why?" I asked "What's wrong"
"You're drunk" he stated blandly.
I scoffed "I'm fine. Really" resting my head against his chest, I erupted with a sudden fit of giggles "Come on. Have some fun" I looked up into those grey eyes of his and smiled. Something is oddly funny about the situation but I don't know what.
Biting my lip, I got down on my knees; my hands trailing down his torso. Quickly grabbing me by the forearms, he pulled me up "Oh no you don't" he said while holding me up "Come on"
"Ты знаешь чего хочешь" (You know you want to)
"Не сегодня солнышко" (Not today Sweetheart) he replied before bending down to pick me up and marching me to the bedroom.