Chapter 5

Eugene sighed, not really leaning on the pillows again since he wasn't really able to sit up without them - which was extremely disconcerting. The only time he remembered being so weak was when - well, when he had died in Rapunzel's tower. The night just seemed to go on forever. Why couldn't he get to sleep? Rapunzel was something of a comfort, snoring softly in the rocking chair, her feet pulled up onto the seat and her knees almost up to her chin. oh, why was he putting her through all of this? It wasn't fair to her. Sure, she was used to seeing him banged up. A cripple she could easily live with if that was the out come; but this time it was different. The doctor never said it on his daily visits, but Eugene could read his face. He could feel strength almost draining out of him. As he had told his oldest children, he could die from it. But he wouldn't give up. Not so soon. Not with Rapunzel still in the throws of a quiet grief, not with the youngest children gamboling around the castle oblivious to life. No. He had to stay there for them. If only he was strong enough. All he wanted to do was reach foreword and take his wife's hand in his, but he couldn't. He wished she would lay down beside him so he could touch her face, sooth her when she started crying in her sleep. She thought he was sleeping, and she was so tired that she didn't even know just how many hours in a night that she drifted off.
"Rapunzel." He sighed, not actually meaning to say her name out loud. She shifted in her sleep and Eugene tensed, afraid that he had woken her. He was so tired - he should be sleeping. She moved again, just a little, and then she jumped forward, looking around the room, yawning and rubbing her eyes. Eugene would have gone red if he hadn't already been; not that she could see beneath the extensive whiskers that no one would shave because his skin was tender with the rash.
"Eugene, I'm sorry." She said between a gasp and a yawn. He just smiled at her and didn't move.
"Rapunzel, why don't you just sit on the bed?" He asked. She shook her head.
"I don't want to fall asleep." She yawned again. Between him, the children and the nightmares that hadn't left her alone in the last two weeks, she was exhausted.
"Babe, you fall asleep anyway." Eugene smiled. Then he sighed and looked downcast.
"Can't I at least be close to you instead of staring half way to the other side if the room?"
"Eugene, I'm right by the bed." Rapunzel scolded, finally sufficiently awake to think. Eugene sighed again dismally.
"It just seems so far." He breathed. His voice sounded so harsh, and he was not joking. Rapunzel sat down hastily beside him, feeling his forehead before leaning against the pillows and his shoulder.
"Leora tells me that you fired Joanna."
"Leora was up here?"
"I made her come in. She needed someone; Flynn's her older brother, but he just doesn't get it yet."
"Get it - Oh. I forgot. No wonder." She trailed off. That explained part of the crying on Leora's, but it did not explain the screaming on the maid's part
"So you did discharge her." Eugene put the question to her again.
"I did." She admitted.
"Why?"
"If she thinks that she has the right to discipline my children, than she has another thought coming!" Rapunzel choked. "They're mine! And I'm right here for them, and..." She stopped right there, sniffling and trying to calm down. "I'm right here for them, Eugene. And the maids ...they don't make dealing with this - this illness any easier." She whispered. Eugene's hand moved up her back, resting on her head, pulling her a bit closer just by being there.
"I know, baby, I know." He whispered with his lips on her hair. A few tears crept from her eyes.
"Eugene..." She started before suddenly hiding her face in his shoulder and bawling. Eugene forced his arm to obey, pulling her as close as his strength would allow, wrapping his other arm around her waist.
"It's alright." He whispered, terribly, terribly hoarsely. "Everything's going to be alright, sweet. You'll see."
"Eugene - the - baby..." She sobbed, choking on the words as she spoke them.
"I know." He whispered back, about to pull her into his arms, fully into his embrace, to cover her from the pain, to take it on himself - but his body couldn't obey him. His arms felt limp and useless, hanging on her instead of surrounding her. Still his hand moved lay on her head, catching in her braided hair and he laid his head on hers. Tears spilled out of his eyes as he lay there, useless. He couldn't help her, he couldn't be there for her; it felt as if he had stood by inconsequent when Rapunzel had gone through the miscarriage. There was nothing he could do, but he felt still as if somehow he had failed her; even though she screamed and sobbed in his arms the whole time, unable to stop it from happening. He'd had to be strong. He had no choice but to be strong - or at least seem strong when he was lost in the same torrents. Leora had been right about that. It was as if no one knew that the father of the child had loved it as well as the mother, could feel the pain of the loss as keenly as if it had been a child he had held. They didn't understand how he may sometimes in the deep of the night envy her even in her anguish. She had carried that baby if for just that short time. He would never so much as feel the slightest physical presence of him or her - ever. Rapunzel spread her arms out suddenly, enveloping him and holding him so tight! It was as if she knew what he had been thinking. Perhaps she did, they always seemed to know each other's thoughts. He sighed - a horrible, rasping sound - and let himself sink into her arms, to be strong for him as he sought to do the same for her. Her arms wrapped tighter still, tucking his face into her shoulder as she swayed ever so slightly.
"I love you, dream." She whispered.
"And I love you, dreamer." He whispered back. "We'll get through this."
"I know."