Chapter 35: Don't say good bye

The wheat-colored ceilling gave somewhat an aura of adversity to me. I couldn't sleep at all. I am laying on my futon for hours already; waiting for myself to go to slumber. But it seems that I am bothered by this fact. What fact I am stating?

THE FACT THAT I AM HAMANO MEIKO GIVES ME CREEPS DOWN TO MY SPINE.

Argggh. I do not know what to do. I thought that I already got over with it but it seems that I didn't though. There are reasons that I don't want myself to be his precious first love. What shpuld I do if I ever got back to the present? How will I face him?

Weeks have passed since then but I didn't thought that I would go this far that I'll be thinking about it all over again. I haven't slept for days. But there's this reason that I kept on going. Lately, I've been dropping off to the field. It felt like it really gave me courage. I've been taking good care of it. This made me happy for some reasons. However, I do not know when will I ever meet them again. I sat over the grassy fields as I enthrall the beauty of the field. Today I brought a pen and paper to write a song for this field. I really love this place.

Somehow, I gave out a sad look. I do miss them. But this is my choice though, they saw me disappear and I know in their eyes I'm dead meat already. Still, I am clueless about blonde's gift to me. I am thankful that I am still living on but why bring me to Gintoki's past.

This really strike me though that the one I really trust most is Gintoki. Blonde has a message to me, right? I have to do something about him, right? Seeing his self today made me smile as well. He really love spending time with his comrades. I wish that I could see his smiling face for eternity.

And… that's what I thought… but

The rain won't stop for some reasons. Everyday I got to see the people who supported me in this barracks but somehow I feel gloomy. Some of them are gone, bit by bit, I won't be able to see them again. But that's alright isn't since they won't be suffering to the hands of Amantos. I'm sure they are enjoying afterlife already. I have to cheer up!

I hastily grab the umbrella from the box and went outside. The sounds of rainwater was heard all over the compound as I head out. I stopped to my tracks when I saw Gintoki drenched in the rain while staring over the graves of our comrades.

He stopped smiling. Gintoki can't stop shedding tears for his comrades. Seemingly, he cannot help but accuse his self on how he can't protect them.

What the heck is this Gintoki? I want to see you're idiotic face while laughing! This is not you! I tightened up my fist upon seeing him. Return already, jerk-head! I marched over to his place.

"Shit! Shit! It's my fault, damn it!" He stated while covering his face in anguish.

I offer my umbrella to him as breathe in slowly and start to speak up," No, it's not."

He was surprise to my sudden interrupt and turned his attention towards me. A smile perked my features, trying to cheer him up, "It's not your fault."

He replied, "Shut up, Hamano. You do not any single thing about this! Beside you're just our freaking cook, you do not know how we fight outside of the compound! Also—"

He stopped ranting over me. He can't stop ranting over me. I'm pissed right now. I do know something about this! What the heck is that outsiders must not interrupt with this problem?!

Out of nowhere, I put my hands onto his collar; tightening my grip, pulling him towards me and clasped my forehead with his. Blood continued to trickle onto our foreheads as he pushes me away. Fuck, it really hurts!

I have to do this in order for him to snap back to reality!

"What the heck is with that?!" He retorted while holding the wound on his forehead.

"Gintoki-san, you're a retard!"

"Huh? How dare you call me a retard, moron!" He retorted as well.

This thing wasn't his fault at all! Why can't he snap back to reality!? Rain continued to pour all over us as I gave out a pissed look. Without holding back I scolded back on top of my lungs, "Because nobody asked you to protect them!"

I hold back for a moment and I continued to lecture him, "Gintoki-san, no one asked you to protect them. They came here with you because they wanted to! They knew that one day, they'll die… But you see, they were able to smile until their last. Gintoki-san, nobody's at fault here so stop blaming yourself! They also do not want to see you like that. I do not want to see you like this, the Gintoki-san that I know is that you always smile despite of these things. So…"

I bowed for a moment and continued, "Please smile…"

The rain trickle over my features as I pleaded him to do so. I want to see him being an idiot again! It's not really good him to give out a gloomy face… I held back my original position. That's right, I do not want to give Gintoki that kind of face like what he did when I was about to disappear.

My attention shifted to the sky as we watched it clearing up. I glance over him and gave out a smile, "The sky cleared up!" I think that this is the best opportunity to let him see the field. I extended my hand over him and encouraged him, "Stand! I will show you something beautiful." I pulled him up and we started to ran off to the field.

"We are here!" I stated excitingly as I head off a little bit and introduced him to the field, "Welcome to Fields of Hope, Gintoki-san!"

I stopped for a moment when I saw his reaction. He is really shocked about this I wonder what it could be.

I wave my hand against his face, "Gintoki-san, hello…"

He snapped back to reality.

"Hamano, are you the one who—"

"Yes, this is why I always wake up in the morning to prepare your breakfast and after that visit this hill. I just discovered it a few weeks ago and it's really pretty so I want to take good care of it. By the way…" Again I held his wrist and pulled him onto the top of the hill. I let go of it and pointed onto the maple tree, "Let's see we have autumn this season right. So, I also take good care of this maple tree!"

"Hamano, you know what you're so great." He suddenly complimented me out of the blue.

"H-Huh? Why?" I gave out a puzzled look to him.

"It's a secret." He stated and went down over the hill. That bastard leaving me hanging! Oh well, I am glad he is back to normal.

Gintoki really is trying his best, huh? Well, I also have to try my best as well. I spotted the book lying to my table. Without any further interruptions, I immediately grab and hold of it. I scan the pages of the book to get some informations. Then I saw something on how to get back to the present time.

"When the moon is full, open the book before it and you'll go back to your present time."

Then, it will be next week…? October 9…? After this… I shouldn't meet with them after all. It will cause pain to their part again. It's too hard! Wait, I thought up something brilliant!

If I am really Hamano Meiko then Gintoki should confessed to me. If I am not confessed to then I am not Hamano Meiko! Oh that's right, that should decide it. I should get some sleep already.

Currently, I am washing dishes in the barracks while humming a song. It was really peaceful but Sakamoto entered the scene making the mood break. What is he doing here?

"Hamano-chan, do you know what to do in Kintoki's birthday? It's October 10, ya know! HAHAHAHAHHA!" Sakamoto-san stated together with his annoying laugh.

Keep calm. Keep calm, Satsuki. In this time, you have to play the shy and timid type of girl. You should not shoo him away with a barbarous way. Keep calm.

I replied, "Yes, Katsura-san already told me about my role...there." I stopped on my tracks when I realized that I'll be leaving before October 10 strikes.

I can't celebrate his birthday… Without noticing, I kept on wasting the water that made me alarmed and continued to scrub the bowls.

"Hey. Hey. What do you think of Gintoki?" Sakamoto asked.

Gintoki, huh? Now that I think about it, what do I think about him? He is an idiot. A huge idiot. The world's biggest idiot in the universe. Well, I can't say that since I am playing the role of this Hamano thing. Argh!

I cautiously answered, "Well, he is like a jack-in-a-box. He will surprise you in times because of his actions at the same time he never failed to make you thrilled. He is really a wonder-" Now that I realized it, I talk like I really know him that it wasn't really supposed to be like that!

"Sakamoto-san, Will you stop nagging me about it? Besides, the plan is going with the flow already." I shrugged him off as I continue my chores. I'm really nervous! I thought my cover will be blown like that!

"AHAHAHAHAHA. Then, can I ask a favor?" He ruged again. What the heck is it again?! I can't concentrate with the things in front of me… Like I can say that!

I face him trying to cope up my character but I'm really pissed now, "What now?"

"Can I call you Meiko-chan from now on?" He then continued"Well, because Hamano is a little bit long and I prefer Meiko-chan since its cute, right?"

I do not care on what name you call me though! Plus, it's just the same with 3 or 4 syllables! Ah geez, I should put up an end to this, "Sure."

"Are you sure?" Sakamoto pushed over.

"Well, yes. I do not care at all if you call me either of the two." I dried off my hands from the towel.

"Err. Wait, Meiko-chan!" He called me already with that grotesque name.

I brought out a dislike look to him,"Are you really too excited to call my first name that much?"

"Well, yeah! But can I ask you a question?" And again he asked.

I do not care anymore just let me leave already, "Now, what?"

"Our season is autumn and yet you are wearing a scarf onto your neck. Isn't weird?" Sakamoto asked.

Crap. Fuck it all, I hate you Sakamoto. Fuck you until you die. I have to leave the premises already or else my cover will be blown like that!

"It's none of your business, geez!" I hurriedly went out of the kitchen but then Sakamoto tries to halt me that resulted in a drastic way. We fell together in the floor.

"It hurts." I mumbled. My eyes were likely to be blurry for a second but my eyes widened when Sakamoto was on top of me. And the thing that I cherished the most, the necklace, was exposed to this idiotic bastard! It's done, my life it is.

"Nice necklace you have there!"

"Eh?"

Sakamoto didn't realize it that this is the infamous Vendetta? Or is he an idiot to understand that detail? Oh well, I sit back and wrapped my scarf back to my neck.

"Sakamoto-san, please keep it as our secret. I do not want anyone seeing this."

"Ahahahaha. Why?" He asked.

I stood up and dust myself, "Just keep it. Anyway, I have some business to do will you excuse me."

I hurriedly leave the premises as I head over the field. Good thing Sakamoto is an idiot!

As I marched over the hill I saw a familiar figure and I already expected that he'll be here.

"It seems that you got here first!" I greeted him as I sit back in the hill next to him.

"S-So what?" He barely replied.

I smiled to him as a reply and brought out 2 lunchboxes.

"Hey! Gintoki….san! Do you like tempura?" I became nervous when I forgot to put a -san in his name! That surprise me!

"Well, it's okay for me."

"I felt relieved. I knew that you'll be coming here so I brought two." I unwrapped the cloth wrapping the two boxes and a fully-fried tempura that really looks delicious opens up, "Tada! Fried Tempura!"

I gave him the other lunchbox and together with dig onto it. This is really nice having a lunch under the maple tree!

We talked for a minute about the shrimp but not until then I saw Gintoki troubled with something.

"Gintoki...san, what's wrong?" I asked.

"Are you really that close to Sakamoto?" He asked.

I gasped, ""What's with this question? All of you in the compound are precious to me so why asking me that?"

He plastered a trouble look. He is hiding something from me. I hate it how he gets troubled to something.

"Gintoki-san, you're hiding something fro me!" I puffed my cheek.

Silence continued to trample all over this place. This guy doesn't know how to trust me at all! I should do some- I stopped when I saw the maple tree and its height. You all know, what is my fear right?

"Fine!" I stood up. I gave my attention to the maple tree as I glance over him,"I'll tell you something, for you to tell me what is bugging you inside. I will just do this once. Actually, I have fear of heights but then I got no choice to tell you that I can be trusted!"

I tried to climb the trunk and to the branches.

"Hey Hamano! Stop this!"

"I won't until you tell m-me!" I am trembling. This is the first time I ever did this to a person. In order to gain his trust, I have to show him that I am trustworthy. I hurdle to the top but then when I grab and hold of a branch I didn't notice that it was about to snap so I fell!

I do not know what happened next. It was just like that time when I fell from that building… I closed my eyes...I am scared… I am scared but… trust me Gintoki!

"Meiko!"

He caught me on time but we trampled and roll downward the hill. Because of the we ended up into the sunflower field.

My eyes were widened. My heart couldn't stopped racing. My mouth were wide open. My hands couldn't stop trembling. Nevertheless, Gintoki saved me… I thought I was a goner…

"Me-Hamano! What's wrong? Hey, I'm sorry that I-"

I hushed him from saying his apology, "That was okay…" I tried to sit up straight, "It's alright. Like hell, I was totally scared! I thought I'm going to die! Anyway, now that I've revealed something now it's your turn."

"H-Huh?"

"You're going to tell me what's bugging you."

Silence took over the place as I stared at him.

" The truth is that… I do not know why but I got mad when people get close to you." He started.

"What? Why?" What was that Gintoki? Am I your toy or something?!

"Also, I overheard your conversation with Sakamoto. He was really close to you and even got to call you by your first name. I do not know why I got so mad that's why I asked you about him a while ago. Anyway, do you like him?" He asked.

Well I abruptly responded, "Well, I like him as a friend! That's all, no more reasons. Is that all?" Hearing this fact that he thought I like that stupid laughing idiot. Hell no!

"N-No.."

Oh, there's more.

"Hamano, can I call you by your first name?!" He asked with a determined look.

I couldn't help but chuckle to his question. Gintoki is so cute!

"It's okay…" I agreed.

I saw Gintoki's delighted face for a second but stopped when he thought of something again. There's more?

"Can I call you Mei?" He asked.

Mei? What a nickname! I never thought of it.

He continued,"Well, no! Do not consider this! You see, my mind just speak on its own! And I-"

I couldn't stop laughing. Oh really, that's it. I have to sacrifice myself for his trust over my name. Silly, Gintoki! You never change!

"Well, your mind isn't absurd. Your mind is superb! I haven't think of that nickname or wait I am not creative enough about that. Sure, you can call me Mei." I allowed him to do so.

I learned that Gintoki is a simple-minded man… He is too cute!

Finally October 8 is here. It's 3:00 AM in the morning and I couldn't sleep at all. Tomorrow will be the time that I have to leave the place. The song was finished as well since I couldn't sleep at all so I concentrated my mind to it.

I frowned. What will I do if I see them? Will they be scared that they thought that I am a ghost? A zombie? A mummy? Oh wait, I told them didn't I? Silly, Avril.

I am going to leave the Yorozuya. I told Gintoki the futile reason ever that I really cried about it. I am really a best actress… The truth is that I got mad a little bit to him when he compared me to that blonde bitch. Well yes she is the perfect me though… But he should not compare me to that bitch… Oh wait I got carried away again.

The truth is that it wasn't really his fault that I have to leave the Yorozuya… Shiro will come… He will… to get me… I do not want them to encounter him ever. I have to leave the Yorozuya so that they won't be involved in this mess… I really miss them… I have to throw these feelings away…

I have realized why blonde wanted me to go here. She wanted me to let Gintoki know that there's someone he can rely on up until now.

This is the last…? I wonder what they are up to right now. I hope they will get over me already… They don't need me. Oh I have to go to the fields to calm my mind.

I stared upon the sky as I breathe in to sing this song dedicated for the field that help me to go through these problems. I began to sing my heart all out.

Let's sing a song of the future
Might be the hard adventure
No matter how it hurts, keep on going
Just keep on moving
We're gonna draw our ways

While singing my gut out, I really can't help but be dismal… I want to be with them! But I can't if I did they'll… be… they will be the one affected and I do not want that… The Heatherfilla's problem doesn't have to do with them.

Now within my own heart

I want to keep you warm

So dear, and yet so far

In the name of peace

Fields of hope

When the song ended, I noticed Gintoki near the hill and I invited him over.

"Mei, I have something to give you." He told me.

"What is it?"

He held my hand out and gave me a sunflower clip to me. I was thrilled by this. To think that Gintoki will give me another hair clip… He really likes to give clips to girls, huh?

"W-Well, you know, your bangs hinders you from seeing from your right eye so I gave you that. Plus, you take good care of the field and love sunflowers so yes… that's it…" He tried to explain the meaning behind.

I was delighted by this and replied,"Thank you, Gintoki." For a split second, I frowned. To think that I'll be leaving him and the people in the barracks…

"What's wrong, Mei?"He asked.

I have to say it to him,"I have to tell you something…" I turn my back to him as I stare upon the scenery that awaited me, ""I am not from this year."

I added, "Actually, I'm from 5 years in the future, I just came here because of a book. That's why, in able to get back in the present, I will wait for a full moon."

I turn my attention to his and faced him. I know he is thinking that I am a time traveler or an Amanto. But I have to clear his misunderstanding, "Do not get me wrong, I am not an Amanto nor a time traveler. I'm simply a human being no more no less. It's just that maybe I'm been transported here so that I could be save well since when we first met I got a wound in my abdomen. I know you won't believe me but I need to tell you this."

He abruptly replied, "Mei, I believe you."

Wow, that was fast! He really trusted me this much. Well, I think that's a good thing.

"When will be the full moon?" He asked.

I replied, "Tomorrow."

I can see him getting sad or troubled. Again, I do not want him to make that expression again. Gintoki… Why are you making things hard?

Today is the day, huh? I am wearing the clip he gave me yesterday. I look at myself in the mirror. I am the worst for lying this. I made him trust me but I couldn't trust him back. If I do, he'll get- I stopped in my train of thought when I saw a red hair strand in my hair. What the heck is this? I didn't even go to salon! Was this blood? I touched it but it is a genuine one… What the? Do not mind that! This is the last day, I should put a smile to his face for the last time. Also, I am not Hamano Meiko! Gintoki didn't even con- Oh wait, it's too early to declare my victory… I haven't departed yet! I'll get this straight.

The sun was about to set and I'm in the field waiting for the full moon to rise with the book in my possession. In the end, I couldn't make it to Gintoki's birthday. I hope he'll have fun.

I noticed that Gintoki is here already and invited him over. I held out a lunchbox and give it to him.

"Gintoki-san! Here. It's tempura! I couldn't celebrate your birthday tomorrow because I'm leaving but I wanted to tell you that thank you for everything." I tried to cheer him up.

"Thanks."

"Gintoki-san, I'm thankful that I met you. Without you, maybe I won't survive at all. You shared different kind of stories that I didn't know. Because of that, I knew things about you and I can do better things in the future." I started to give him a piece of farewell.

I am going to start it! I am not-

I was interrupt in my train of thought when held my hand,"Mei, the truth is I do not want you to go."

"H-Huh? Hey, wait you're too close!" I tried to push him away but he tightened his grasp to my hand. This is bad. I have a bad feeling about this! My cheeks is about to burst thinking about Hamano's identity made me really inflamed. Gintoki don't do it! I am not her! STOP!

"Mei, you changed me!" He declared.

My eyes were widened when I replied to his declaration, "Huh? Wait how? G-Gintoki-s-san?!"

That's right he is acting strange! Gintoki, what are you trying to say? The sun bid its farewell and the moon rose up.

"You were there when no one is there! You're the one who pulled me out from this solitude! When morning comes, you'll smile to me like the sun. Every time life is cruel, you're with me, with that dazzling smile. Your smile is enough! Without you, maybe I'll broke, you're my life. You even tried to cheer me up. You can even forget my birthday, it's your choice. But you choice is to celebrate it. I hate it how you considered me as something so precious!" He continued in his monologue but then without noticing I dropped the book and it shine all over us.

It's over…

I touched his cheeks and plastered a smile, Gintoki-san, that's enough. Thank you. I didn't realize that I did many things to you. I am really happy. Gintoki-san, do your best to live. In that while, in the future I surely will be crossing paths with you. Until then, survive with your comrades. Treat them as valuable things."

"I can't." His voice shakes, "Mei, please… Stay with me… Please…"

"I can't…" Why am I biding a farewell to this sad looking guy? Bid me a farewell with an idiotic smile! Idiot Gintoki!

"Mei… I've always been in love with you!" He confessed.

He confessed…? What the fuck!? Hey wait, I am not ready! My eyes widened to this situation. My heart can't stop pounding nonstop. I can't accept it! My cheeks is burning like hell! Wait think positive, he loves me because he is my friend, that's right!

"G-Gintoki-san? That was just a mere joke right? I sure do love you as a—" He interrupted me, "No, I love you romantically! Mei, I love you!"

Don't say it twice no… thrice! My head is going blank. I don't know what to do anymore! I want to dig myself to this hill but I'm leaving… Wait, Avril… Face this seriously.

"Thank you. I do n-not know how to express myself in this kind of way. But all I can say is thank you. But, I am about to go so feel free to fall in love again. There are many fishes in the sea! Do not focus on me. Find love." I stated while trying to keep my pace and continued, "Before I leave, I wanted to tell you that please take good care of this field."

"Yes, I will." He declared, "But I wanted to tell you that, I won't hesitate. I will find you in the later future. Mei, I will find you and fall in love with you again. I won't hesitate to fall. And I will find you in the later future!"

Don't say it for the umpteenth time!

I inhaled slowly, I remove the hairclip that he gave me from my hair and handed it to him. My hair got on the way in my vision again…

"On a second thought, I'm not into flowers. I'm into pink hair clips." I grinned over him, "Lastly, please protect me in the future Gintoki… See you 5 years later."

I faded through the night sky while realizing I am Hamano Meiko.

NORMAL POV

Edo was busy as it is. But the atmosphere appears to be gloomy since its raining. Out of nowhere, a person drops in the middle of the trail. It was Sakakibara Satsuki A.K.A Heatherfilla Avril and A.K.A Hamano Meiko. The people who were busy buying, strolling and selling goods saw this moment. They all encircled all over the girl's unconscious body.

"Hey, call an ambulance! There's an unconscious girl here hurry!"

"She's drenched in rain! Hurry!"

The Yorozuya is rather gloomy at its core. It's been weeks since Satsuki wasn't with them. Kagura and Shinpachi already accepted her fate but Gintoki didn't. He continued to believe that she was alive…

"Gin-chan…" Kagura mumbled as she stare upon the said Yorozuya boss.

"It must be hurt for Gin-san… Gin-san didn't manage to say his feelings to her as well… But I really do miss Satsuki-san already…" Shinpachi mumbled under his breathe.

Gintoki continued to stare upon the pink hairclip he gave her during her birthday. He let out a sigh as he turn on the TV, there a reporter was displayed.

"What a rainy afternoon, everyone! Today we receive a report on a girl that fell from the sky. This girl has a long azure hair and a green kimono. She was brought to the Edo Hospital right now."

Gintoki's eyes widened in surprise. The picture was posted in the television screen and saw Satsuki's picture in it.

Otae out of nowhere busted to the barracks as well, she was panting hard and delivered the news, "Gin-san! S-Satsuki-san… S-Satsuki-san is in the hospital!"

Kagura and Shinpachi can't help but be shocked to this moment.

"Huh?!" Kagura let out a huge puzzled look.

Gintoki's eyes were wide as well and glance over the television screen as well.

"There's no mistake… It's Satsuki!"

Author's Note:

Thank you for waiting all this time! A lot of things happened and I am really busy with school! Thankfully, I manage to finish this!

Wait for the next chapter! Thank you for the reviews, favorites and follows as well!