"Johanna wait!"

Finnick and I are just going back to our rooms when we hear Beetee's voice booming through the hallway, followed by quick footsteps and a panting breath.

I turn around to see what he wants and at the sight of what's in his hand a wicked smile spreads across my face.

"I get one too?" I ask in awe.

"Wow," Finnick breathes next to my ear when he's come to take a look at my present as well.

"What does it do?" I ask, tentatively fingering the blade of my new ax. Both the head and the handle are silvery black and it looks more deadly than any ax I've ever seen.

"Well, most importantly it comes back after you've thrown it with just one push on a button that will be on your wrist," Beetee starts explaining.

"Just like my trident!" Finnick exclaims excitedly.

"Yes," Beetee continues. "You also don't need to sharpen it, it does that automatically. And the most useful feature in combat is the fact that you can charge it with electricity."

Beetee has a victorious smile plastered on his face but I can't help but be in shock. Charging with electricity reminds me too much of a certain experience I have been trying to ban from my head since I got here.

"Johanna?" Finnick asks in a soft voice while putting his hand on my shoulder.

"Charge with electricity? Why?" I ask Beetee.

I can see he's nervous but also confident. "Look, I know what you think. You were tortured with electric shocks and it was awful, right?"

"Right," I manage to get out. I desperately try to block out the images of my torture and keep the flashbacks away. Finnick's hand on my shoulder helps me stay in reality.

"Well, now you can give them a piece of their own medicine! What do you think?"

I keep staring at the ax in Beetee's hand and suddenly my own hand grabs the handle. It feels…right. Good. And Beetee is right, they tortured me by shocking me, now I'll be the one shocking them.

"Beetee you are a genius. Thank you!"

I give him a quick hug before turning my attention back to my newest toy.

"We should go try it out, don't you think?"

I can hear Finnick try to keep the excitement out of his voice but he fails miserably. I look up an grin at him. "We should."

We run up the stairs as fast as we can until we're back where we just came from. As soon as I spot a large tree I swing my ax at it. There was a knot in the trunk I aimed for and that's exactly where my ax buries itself.

"Nice shot," Finnick says approvingly.

I'm beaming with pride.

"Now try charging it."

I turn around and arch my eyebrow. "Yes, sir. Anything else?"

Finnick laughs. "I'm sorry. Johanna, I really want to see what happens if you charge that very special ax of yours. Could you please show me? Better?"

I push the button on my wristband and the ax flings back into my hand.

"Wicked," I whisper.

I push another button and feel the handle vibrate slightly in my hand. I throw it back towards the tree and it lands in the exact same spot, only now the tree makes a crackling noise. I clench my fists together and bite my teeth really hard to stay in reality.

"Just focus on what Beetee said," Finnick says softly.

"I'm trying," I answer through clenched teeth.

I take a few deep breaths and before I push the button to make my ax come back I notice another button.

"I wonder what that's for…"

"Just push it, you'll see what it's for," Finnick says with a hint of a smile in his voice.

I do as I'm told and the tree just explodes in front of me.

I stare in shock at the remnants of what used to be a old large tree before I start laughing.

"That is without a doubt the most awesome thing I have ever seen!" I say, still laughing.

"Told you!"

"Go get Katniss! She should see this!"

"Oh no Johanna, am I being replaced by Katniss?!"

I just roll my eyes at him. Oh yes, we're still good.

A few minutes later Finnick comes back with both Katniss and Gale.

"Check this out," I simply say before throwing my ax at another tree.

I push the button again and the tree explodes. When I turn around proudly I see Katniss looking at the burning pile in shock.

"Well, Katniss sure wasn't lying when she said no one throws an ax like you do," Gale suddenly says.

I'm a bit taken aback by his compliment since he's not easily impressed but instead of thanking him I just say,

"Yeah well, when your life depends on it you better hit the target, right?"

"You should take it with you now to practice on the peacekeeper dummies," Katniss suggests.

"Yeah, good idea. Maybe it goes through the peacekeeper uniforms, who knows."

I summon my ax with one last push on the button and follow Katniss, Gale and Finnick to the practice court.

I have to train with a rifle for most of the time since I'm not really the best shooter in our squad but I'm determined to get better and better. Katniss blames the ax for my excitement and sudden willpower, and she's damn right.

Suddenly Plutarch calls us together and the four of us look warily before walking over to where Plutarch stands. The other members of our squad join us but don't look as guarded as us.

"Squad Four-Five-One, you have been selected for a special mission," Plutarch begins. "We have numerous sharpshooters, but rather a dearth of camera crews. Therefore, we've handpicked the nine of you to be what we call our 'Star Squad.' You will be the on-screen faces of the invasion."

The other part of our squad just nods at what Plutarch has just said but we all stay silent while trying to process it.

Gale is the first one to break the silence. "What you're saying is, we won't be in actual combat?"

"You will be in combat, but perhaps not always on the front line. If one can even isolate a front line in this type of war," Plutarch says defensively.

"None of us wants that. We're going to fight. We -"

Before Finnick can finish is sentence I fling myself at Plutarch, grabbing his collar as tightly as I can.

"Do you really think," I begin, my voice dangerously low, "that I quit Morphling, that I tormented myself every day to train for this mission, that I had to overcome my trauma much faster than a normal person would have, so I could be your little celebrity in war? Your pretty Victor on the sideline? These aren't the Games, Plutarch! You can't just dress us up for an interview and make the crowd love us anymore. THESE AREN'T THE FUCKING GAMES ANYMORE! DO YOU HEAR ME? THESE. AREN'T. THE. GAMES. ANYMORE."

I punch him as hard as I can wherever I can before others have to peel me off him, but somehow I manage to throw Finnick and Gale off me myself and push the button on my wrist.

With the ax now in my hand, everyone seems to be frozen on the spot.

"Plutarch, I swear, give us a chance to fight for real or I'll give everyone here a front-row ticket to my first throw at a real, human Capitolian. And guess what, I'll even give them fireworks. It's your choice."

Before Plutarch can make his choice my ax is taken from my hand. I turn around furiously only to find myself toe to toe with Boggs.

"Soldier Mason," he barks. "Keep it together."

"Wh-?!"

"Johanna!" Finnick ways, his tone warning.

I let out a terribly long sigh. "Fine. Whatever. Keep us on the sideline. But don't be surprised when you lose the war because you made the wrong choice because this, Plutarch, is the wrong choice."

I take my ax back calmly before turning around and walking away. It takes every strength I have in me to just walk away, but I'm doing it. I'm walking away. Calmly.

My arm swings back, there's a bang and another tree goes up in flames. So much for my newfound joy.