* = Author's Note – please see bottom of chapter for explanation.

DISCLAIMER: This chapter features some blood and gore, alongside sadistic tendencies and death. You have been warned.

=13=

"Day 21.

It's been four days since Vexen's defeat. I confided in Zexion before beginning to write these notes, and we feel as though it has become necessary that others know the truth- we might not return home to the base, and if we don't, this is all I can do to try and keep the rest of you from sharing the same fate. I cannot recollect all of what has happened in the past three weeks, so I am sharing whatever I can starting from day twenty-one after arriving to Castle Oblivion.

Axel was the culprit responsible for Vexen's murder. Some of you might find this difficult to believe, but I assure you that I would not lie about such things. Vexen was a friend of mine, even if his personality often conflicted with my own- his death was a great loss to all of the Organization, but dealt the hardest blow to those of us in charge of the basements here in Castle Oblivion. As much as I dislike writing out these next words, I am the bearer of more unfortunate news: late last evening, Lexaeus was defeated. He was bested by the Hero of Darkness, Riku, as he made his way through the basements of Castle Oblivion. Now, Zexion and myself are all that's left of the team governing the basement levels. Larxene has also been eliminated- the Hero of Light, Sora, saw to that.

Now, there is something very important that you all understand if you are to ever find these notes. To all of you left back at home, completing Kingdom Hearts is not necessary for restoring your hearts- Zexion and I are proof of this. We have kept our findings secret until now, but we felt it was best to reveal everything to the rest of you. Some of you might have noticed that, as you grew closer to certain members of the Organization, you tend to lose yourself around them. This is not because you are forcing yourself to do so in a feeble attempt to fill some nonexistent void of a missing heart. Your heart was never missing to begin with- it was simply lying dormant within you.

As Zexion and I grew closer, we began to truly feel things once again. We could laugh, we could enjoy ourselves, and we could simply be at peace for once. However, there were two things that proved we were slowly regaining our hearts. One, we could feel very faint pulses of life from within our chests. As you know, this is the place where our hearts should be. It was an odd feeling indeed, but it wasn't something that we were imagining- we tested this multiple times to make sure of that. Two, when Vexen was murdered by the hands of Axel, Zexion's will broke. He spent quite a long time with me simply sobbing, his entire being in pain at the idea of losing someone he desperately cared about. This, as you know, should be physically impossible for beings that cannot feel emotion, and do not have hearts. *You simply cannot cry without a heart.

My friends, I hope that these notes eventually come into your hands. The entire life that I have known has been spent amongst all of you, and knowing that you all know the truth is all that can put me at peace about the subject- even if it means dying so that knowledge comes to you.

~(Name)~"

=13=

You brought your hand up off the parchment upon the desk, your (color) eyes scanning over what you had just written to make sure that you hadn't left anything of importance out. When you concluded that everything was as it should be, you rolled the parchment up, and then tied a thin string around the center of it to keep it from unrolling itself once it was out of your grasp. The air within the castle was beginning to become unbearably dense- ever since the loss of Lexaeus, it felt as though the castle was attempting to swallow you whole. However, you and Zexion had been vigorously fighting against it. You couldn't allow yourselves to grow weary and lose yourselves to grief- not when there were so many people working against you, including those whom you previously trusted such as Larxene, (though she was now dead, of course) Axel, and Marluxia.

"You dare show your face here? After all that you've done?"

The unmistakable voice of Zexion immediately caught your attention, and you knew instantly that something was wrong. You hastily placed the note into the breast-pocket of your coat for safe keeping until another time, and then dashed out of the laboratory and into the large, nearly-empty room. Your eyes fell upon the crimson-haired man whom had murdered Vexen, a cocky smile plastered on his lips that made your blood boil.

"C'mon, Zexion. I simply came down here to make a small bet with you. Vexen, Larxene, Lexaeus… I'm just curious to see who you think might take a nosedive into nothingness central next."

Hearing how cocky the man sounded made it incredibly hard to restrain yourself. Not only had he murdered a fellow member with his own hands, he was now mocking both his death and Lexaeus's as well. You curled your fingers into the palm of your hand, your nails nearly piercing the gloves that you wore as you fiercely attempted to keep your composure. You walked over beside the Schemer, which earned a cock of the flame-bearer's eyebrow.

"Ah, it's been a while since I've seen you, (Name). How's that control over death itself comin', huh?"

"I don't know, Axel. Perhaps you'd like to find out?"

The way you snapped at the red-haired man surprised you. You honestly hadn't meant to sound so spiteful, but your mind was already running away from your grasp. You desperately wanted to fight with him- to get vengeance for what he had done to Vexen. However, you quickly changed your mind when you felt Zexion's hand come to rest upon your shoulder. You glanced over at him, seeing that he was attempting to calm you; as much as you wished for vengeance for Vexen's unnecessary death, both of you knew that engaging in battle with another member of Organization XIII meant you would only be stooping to the level that Axel, Larxene, and Marluxia had fallen to.

"Easy now, easy. I don't wanna get on your bad side, here. After all, I'm sure that you could end me in a matter of seconds, if you really wanted to."

Before you had the chance to offer a rebuttal to the man, Zexion cleared his throat and stepped in front of you- he had heard quite enough mindless chatter from him already, and just seeing his face was more than enough to get under his skin.

"Axel, you are not welcome within the basement floors of Castle Oblivion. Just as (Name) told Larxene when she came down here, we are all that is left to govern the lower floors, and as such, you are not welcome since you are working alongside Marluxia. Now, return to the upper floors, and do not come down here again."

"Hmph… you two aren't very fun now, are ya? Well, I suppose I'll just have to make that bet with myself. I think that Marluxia is gonna be next in line. Or maybe…"

You watched as a portal materialized behind him, and he gave a grin as he took several steps back towards it.

"…perhaps it might be you, (Name)."

With that, the crimson-haired man left the room. The portal vanished from your sight, and you grit your teeth in frustration. You still couldn't believe that Axel, the kind and rather humorous man that you had spent some time with back at the base, was responsible for the death of not only a senior member, but a good friend of yours. And now, he was giving you a rather blatant hint that you were most likely going to be next in line to perish within the walls of this place. What had you done to deserve such a fate in the first place? In fact, what had Vexen done to deserve such a fate at the hands of Axel? Surely there was something that you were missing- something that you hadn't seen yet. Axel was doing this for some reason, but you weren't sure of what it was.

You were pulled out of your thoughts when Zexion's grip upon your shoulder tightened slightly, and you looked up at him to see a rather serious look upon his face.

"Is what he said bothering you, Zexion? Please don't allow it to-"

"You and I both know your ability works on humans and Nobodies, (Name)."

You stopped upon hearing his words, your gaze immediately dropping to the colorless ground beneath your boots. You stayed silent, knowing that this topic would come up between the two of you eventually. However, it was something that made you rather uncomfortable, and you weren't really wishing to speak about it at the time.

"I know that you want to keep yourself in check, (Name). I know that you've been trying to convince other members that you cannot use your abilities on them, but I believe that you've really been trying to convince yourself more than anyone else."

"I don't want to hurt anyone, Zexion. Heartless are one thing, but a living being… I don't want to become the monster that all the other members think I am. It took me so long to convince them that I couldn't hurt them even if I wanted to. In truth, if I really wanted to, I could end everything in an instant. I could give them diseases, I could make their skin rot off, or I could sick Heartless on them until they were eventually overrun and defeated. You saw what I did to the trees on the island, Zexion. What about those fish and crabs as well? Anything organic is free game to me… why do you think I don't use my powers that much? The other members rely on their abilities entirely, but… I can't."

You heard the Schemer give a heavy sigh, and you watched as he grabbed your gloved hands within his own. He stayed quiet for a moment, his visible eye staring at you intently. It was clear that all of this was bothering him, and you knew that finally admitting yourself to him probably made it worse.

"I've lost Vexen, and I've lost Lexaeus. (Name), I can't lose you, too. I know that I've only said it once before, but I love you. It is still a strange and foreign concept to me, but you are the sole reason that I haven't lost myself again over the loss of Lexaeus. Not only do you keep me strong, but you are the one who keeps me calm and allows me to continue on without them. If Axel was to do something to you, I know for a fact I would kill him where he stood. When we first founded this Organization, losing a member would have been nothing more than a nuisance. Now, since I've regained a portion of my heart, losing a close member is almost akin to taking a blade to the chest."

He stopped, tugging your hands slightly in order to bring your body closer to his own. He squeezed your fingers within his own, and then gave an elongated sigh as he attempted to find the rest of his words. What he had said had been true- all those months ago, if things had been different, losing Vexen and Lexaeus might not have been anything more than extra explaining to do to the Superior upon returning to base. But, since you had been with him all this time and allowed him to begin regaining his heart, everything was different now.

"(Name), I beg of you, if Axel or anyone else threatens you, do not hold yourself back. You are not a monster for using the power that was bestowed upon you."

As much as you hated hearing the words that left Zexion's mouth, you knew that he was right. Your power didn't make you a monster, but the idea of using it to take the life of another being, let alone another human, left a horrible taste in your mouth. Perhaps you didn't have to kill them, per se. Perhaps you could simply incapacitate them? However, if Axel hadn't held back with Vexen, you doubted that he would hold back if he truly was planning on coming after you, as well. Which, unfortunately, meant that there would probably be no holding back if it ever came to a confrontation with him.

"Alright, Zexion. I promise that I won't hold back if anything happens."

"Good."

He finally released your hands, and then turned his head to gaze at the stairs leading further down into the castle.

"(Name), I'm afraid that I have rather unfortunate news. I understand that this is not what you wish to hear currently, especially with what has happened, but I must find Riku. With the possibility of Marluxia perishing, there is no need for him any longer."

"Zexion, no. Not even Lexaeus could beat him, and he was one of the strongest members of Organization XIII. You just told me that you couldn't bear to lose me, right? Well… I'm sure as hell not okay with losing you, either."

You stared up at him, not understanding why he would willingly put himself in harm's way like this. He had only just finished explaining how he couldn't bear to lose you- surely he knew that the feeling was mutual by this point? His right hand rose, his Lexicon taking form within the grip of his fingers as he did so. He flipped through several pages of it, and then hummed softly.

"I assure you that I will be just fine, (Name). Not even you have seen the full extent of the ability that I possess. However, should I not return within three days, I ask that you leave the castle. Return to the base, and tell everyone the truth about everything."

=13=

The next three days felt longer than any you had previously experienced. You would often find yourself mindlessly working upon new notes for the Organization as the days passed, or you would attempt to drown out your boredom by reading through Zexion and Vexen's notes that were stored within the computer in the laboratory. On day two, Marluxia had been defeated by Sora- this was rather obvious, seeing as how his death literally shook the entire castle. As much as you didn't care for the man and his treachery, you had to give him credit where credit was due: he was incredibly strong. But now, your mind was focused on the fact that it had already been three days, and that Zexion had yet to return to your side.

What still confused you, however, was the fact that he went after Riku so quickly after asking you to keep yourself safe. He had told you that it was because he was no longer needed now that Marluxia was dead, but you knew that there was something he wasn't telling you- he was going after Riku to avenge Lexaeus. Though he would never openly admit such a thing, you knew that the loss of Lexaeus must have weighed so heavily on his ever-returning heart that he simply wanted to get some form of closure- even if it came in the form of defeating the boy who took his friend's life. You couldn't blame him, however. You yourself had wanted revenge for Vexen's death three days earlier when Axel dared to descend to the lower floors of the castle simply to mock the deaths of your comrades.

You sighed as you finished tying a piece of string around the note you had just created, and then placed it right alongside the others you had already created days earlier. Your only hope was that someone from the Organization would return to the castle and find them- after all, you needed to share the truth with the rest of them. As much as you wished to heed Zexion's orders and simply return to base, you weren't about to abandon him and leave him to perish within these hellish walls. You rose to your feet from the chair you had previously been sitting upon, and then paced over to the entrance of the laboratory. You took one last look over your shoulder, your (color) eyes falling upon the dim light of Vexen's computer, the countless folders and files littered about the room, and the notes that you had hidden away for others to find. With your mind now at ease, you walked out of the lab and shut the door behind you.

As you began to step through the dark room, you began to think of all the things that had led to this point. What were you missing? There had to be something that brought Axel to murder Vexen, and you were certain that he would target you and Zexion if Zexion was still alive- that was made blatantly clear by what he had said three days earlier. You began to tread down the flight of stairs that led deeper into the castle, and then stopped as you neared the middle of the steps.

"Wait… before we left, Zexion had said that he and Vexen thought that Saïx was up to something. Axel is always speaking with him. And whenever someone else would come around, Saïx would always grow quiet."

That was when you finally understood. You finally figured out the missing link that had been hiding in plain sight this entire time- this mission may have originally been to capture Sora and use his power to complete Kingdom Hearts, but Axel most certainly wasn't working under Xemnas's orders. He was working under the orders of Saïx.

With this new information now wrestling with your mind, you hastily made your way down the remaining stairs and into the next room. It was empty, but upon ceasing your movement, you thought you heard some muffled noise coming from somewhere below. You nearly sprinted across the room, hastily making your way down the steps that led to the next floor. If Zexion was alive, you had to find him, and you had to find him now.

=13=

From the floor below, a struggling Zexion staggered alongside the wall, his gloved fingers desperately gripping the smooth wall in an attempt to steady himself. His breaths left his lips in deep, ragged pants, and his free hand clutched his chest as he struggled to stay upon his feet. He had never fathomed that a boy like Riku would be able to harness the power of darkness as well as he did- not even using Sora against him had been effective, which is what eventually forced the Schemer into his current painful predicament.

"I've never seen someone wear the darkness like he does… such a thing should be impossible."

After breathing these thoughts aloud, his fingers again clutched his chest as blood pooled within his mouth- he hastily spit the liquid upon the colorless floor, staining it with crimson red. He huffed as he ran his free hand across his lips, the pain within his chest only growing as he continued struggling to maintain his composure. That damn Riku… if this is the fate that Lexaeus had met, Zexion could do nothing more than take pity on him. Lexaeus could handle much more physical pain than Zexion could, and he could only begin to imagine what the Stalwart endured from the Hero of Darkness.

The Schemer was drawn out of his thoughts by the distinct sound of a portal opening behind him. He quickly diverted his attention to that direction, and painfully brought himself to his feet as he saw none other than the crimson-haired murderer wander out from within the darkness. However, Zexion immediately took a step back upon realizing that he had brought someone with him- Riku. His fear slowly began to cease, however, when he noticed that this Riku showed no aggression towards him as the one he had previously battled with did.

"A-ah… Axel. You brought the Replica with you? This one could surely be used to defeat the real one."

"You're not looking so good, Zexion. What happened to all of that stuff about me needing to leave the lower floors a few days ago, hmm? Now that you're in trouble, you sure don't seem like you want me out of your hair."

Axel's statement took Zexion aback, but what he had said was most certainly true. Until Axel had made mention of it, Zexion hadn't even thought about the things that Axel had done. He was more concerned with his own life rather than blindly putting trust in someone that had murdered a fellow member. But, that's what happens when the heart is consumed by fear of the unknown. He watched as Axel placed his hand on the replica's shoulder, then nudged him forward a bit.

"He's pretty weak right now. If you want to be stronger than the real Riku, you could always just take his power and make it your own. You'd like that, wouldn't you? To become your own person?"

The words that slithered past Axel's lips wormed their way into Zexion's ears, chilling his entire body to the bone. He felt his body seize up as the replica began pacing towards him- why couldn't he move? He couldn't even force himself to form words of distress. He finally managed to shout out the question of "why" only when the replica's hand took a vice grip on the front of his cloak. The sound of his own frantic reactions quickly dulled as he felt himself be brought into the air, his vision blurring as indescribable fear rushed throughout his body. This was it- but there was one image that, even though fear made it impossible for him to think, made itself clear within his mind: you.

A shrill cry made its way past Zexion's ears, and he felt himself drop to the floor beneath him once again. He coughed, his lungs desperately crying out for air as he took quick, sharp breaths in order to calm himself. The world around him was still blurry, but he could make out faint silhouettes- Axel and Riku were obvious, but there was what seemed to be another now standing in front of him. All he could make out was the black coat and boots, but he quickly noticed that the replica was gripping onto what seemed to be his hand. Zexion shook his head, a quiet groan passing his lips as the world finally spun back into clarity.

"M-my hand… what did you do to my hand?!"

Zexion felt himself be brought upright once again, and found himself at the hands of the one person who was on his mind only moments before: you. He could not seem to find any words to give thanks, but his expression was more than enough for you. Had you arrived any later, things would have been much different. You looked at him for only a moment before turning your attention back to the silver-haired monstrosity in front of you, whom was still desperately gripping the hand that you had tainted.

"You want to know what I did to your hand, huh? Well, it's the same thing I'm about to do to your lungs."

You eyed the boy, watching as he suddenly cried out in pain and keeled over, eventually dropping to the floor in a mass of writhing limbs. You held no remorse as you watched him, as you listened to the cries of pain that eventually faded away as he began to gasp for air. His good hand gripped at his chest, and you turned your attention to the wide-eyed Axel, who was staring down at the wriggling mass laying at his feet.

"I-I… I thought you couldn't use your powers on people?"

Your gaze pierced the crimson-haired man like a steel sword, your (color) eyes cold and unfeeling. You decided that you wouldn't humor him in answering his question.

"Researching different types of diseases certainly does come in handy, doesn't it? He is currently suffering from something known as *Necrotizing fasciitis. In other words, unless you kill me, his soft tissue will continue to perish, and he will eventually die. I hope that he feels every bit of pain that I'm giving him…"

Your gaze dropped to the boy upon the ground, your teeth gritting as you continued to stare at him. You saw the color of his hand beginning to change, several dark purple patches appearing on his otherwise healthy-looking skin. You could only imagine what this was doing to his lungs, but quite frankly, you didn't care. You then turned your attention back to the red-haired male standing behind the suffering boy, and you brought your hand in front of your body, several mangled Heartless, more commonly referred to as "Neoshadows," dragging themselves out of seemingly pitch-black void puddles upon the ground. Each one of them stared at the red-head, their heads twitching slightly as they did so.

"It's honestly amazing, Axel. In a mere moment, you went from feeling nothing as you almost managed to kill yet another member to staring helplessly like a lost puppy. Also, here's something I bet you didn't know. That disease that I gave the replica? It normally doesn't touch the lungs. That's something special about what I can do."

Axel glanced around, realizing that the room was now covered in the mid-sized Heartless. So this was the power of the Nether, was it? He almost regretted having Sora and Riku fight all those Heartless here- only because they were now being used against him of course. He watched as the creatures wriggled and writhed unnaturally, their battered bodies almost seeming to wither away before his very eyes. He had to admit, for you to be able to control these creatures after they had already been defeated once was something he never believed possible- now he knew why you were often referred to as someone you didn't wish to be on terrible terms with.

"So what are you gonna do to me now, (Name)? Are you going to sick your little minions on me like a horde of rabid dogs? Or are you going to give me some kind of crippling disease like you did to this poor replica here?"

Your expression remained unchanged. You could feel the essence of the Heartless around you itching to be released on the man in front of you- all that was in their nature was to destroy what was around them, after all. Quite frankly, you were more than ready to allow them to tear him to shreds. You knew that he would put up a damn good fight, but you weren't going to go down so easily, either.

"As much as I would love to let them rip you apart, Axel… I still have some chivalry left. I'll let you prepare yourself for battle."

You eyed him as he seemed to relax slightly- knowing that he was able to prepare himself was something that let his guard down a bit. He knew that he was more than capable of taking on these creatures when he was prepared, so he sighed quietly and went to summon his weapon…

"This is for Vexen and Lexaeus, you bastard."

No sooner had the words made their way to Axel's ears did a crushing weight land atop him and force him to the ground. He cried out as he felt clawed hands dig into every inch of him- nails pierced his skin and tore gaping holes into the fabric of his cloak. As much as he struggled to remove himself from the mass of Neoshadows, his attempts all ended in vain.

From across the room, you honestly loved hearing how Axel cried out in pain. As sadistic as it was, you felt as though he deserved it- he and the replica both. He had taken two people that you cared about from you, and he had nearly taken the one that mattered most. Who knows who else he would have harmed if you allowed him to continue on like he had been? In all reality, you found his situation quite satisfying- the vengeance for Vexen and Lexaeus was slowly beginning to become satisfied. You looked to your right, seeing Zexion staring at the pile of rabid Heartless across the room- he finally turned his attention to you, giving you a small nod of his head. He said nothing, but you knew what he was feeling. He was feeling like this was what Axel and the replica deserved, especially after taking his two closest friends.

This did not last.

Your (color) eyes widened in shock as you saw something burst from Zexion's chest and vanish into thin air, leaving behind a bloodied trail that dashed forward from Zexion's body. Your entire being froze, your eyes not once leaving the face of your mentor as he dropped to the ground. It was as if time itself had stopped, and you could hear the sound of heavy thumping within your head. What was it? What was this painful beating on the inside of your skull? You continued to stare at the bloodied mass upon the ground in front of you, his body becoming engulfed in wisps of darkness as his very being began to fade away from existence. Your vision slowly began to blur, the warm tears caressing your cheeks as they hastily made their way along the contour of your face as you watched the one person you loved fade from existence. You opened your mouth in an attempt to speak, but you were stopped by a sharp pain in the center of your chest. You found the strength to look down, a gaping, bloody hole now residing right in the center of your bosom. There was no time left to speak- there wasn't even enough time left to think. Darkness- darkness darker than you had ever known, engulfed your vision, and that was all that greeted you from then on.

=13=

The pain suddenly stopped, and the weight was suddenly gone from Axel's body. He hissed as he slowly managed to bring himself to his knees, his vision clouded as he tried to see what exactly was going on. He rubbed his temple, his vision finally clearing as he looked around the room- (Name) and Zexion were no longer there. In their place were two large pools of crimson liquid, and a man wearing a the Organization's cloak- the hood was pulled over his head, so Axel was unsure as to who it was. He watched as this mysterious figure paced through the liquid uncaringly, each step leaving behind a crimson shoe-print as he made his way right in front of Axel. He pushed the now-unconscious replica aside with his boot, then placed his hand on his hip as if waiting for something.

Axel rose to his feet, staring at the figure that rested in front of him. He watched as the figure slowly took off his hood, and his eyes widened when he realized just who had come to his aid.

"It's a real shame I had to do that… I really liked that kid. And Zexion wasn't that bad of a guy, either."

Xigbar spoke quietly, gazing over his shoulder at the red puddles that now rested near the wall. He sighed as he shook his head, then turned his attention back to Axel, who was now rather confused.

"Listen up, Axel. I know what you did to Vexen, and I know what you were talkin' about with Saïx. So, I'm here to offer you a deal."

He thumbed over his shoulder at the mess he had left, his visible, yellow eye not once breaking contact with Axel's own green ones. Then, with a smile, he offered his deal.

"You keep your mouth shut, and I'll do the same."

=13=

Author's Note (1): This sentence was in reference to what Sora said in Dream Drop Distance about the heart. He claimed that someone can't cry without having a heart.

Author's Note (2): Necrotizing fasciitis is a bacterial illness that causes rapid decay of soft tissue within the body. If you are squeamish, I suggest you don't look up images of this disease.

Author's Note (3): This chapter is very dark- darker than what you would expect in a typical Kingdom Hearts fanfiction. I understand that death is sugar-coated within the game series, but I didn't want to do that within this fanfiction. If you noticed, I did not prolong the deaths of Zexion and (Name). They died instantly, not being able to speak a word or even think a final thought. Again, I don't care for tropes that allow people on the brink of death to talk for ten minutes when they should have been dead within seconds to a minute.

Author's Note (4): This chapter was very hard to write. The pacing was constantly bugging me, and it just took forever to finally be happy with it. I apologize if it seems rushed or anything.